The Trail: A Daily Diary of Campaign 2008


Late Show with Hillary Clinton

Sen. Hillary Clinton brought the funny--or some version of the funny, mixed with earnest policy discussion--to the Late Show with David Letterman last night. One big laugh line: Bill Clinton had looked into the vice presidency, but, alas, decided against Clinton-Clinton ticket. She also invited Letterman out on the campaign trail with her, though he looked inclined to pass up that offer.

It was the senator's seventh appearance on the Late Show, and she came armed with her own Top Ten list.
Watch her delivery here.

Her list? Clinton's Top Ten Campaign Promises, as presented on Letterman last night:
10. Bring stability and long term security to "The View."

9. Each year on my birthday, every American gets a cupcake.

8. You'll have the option of rolling dice against the IRS for double-or-nothing on your taxes.

7. Having trouble getting a flight and Air Force One is available -- it's yours.

6. My vice president will never shoot anybody in the face.

5. Turn Gitmo into a Dairy Queen as soon as possible.

4. For over a century there have been only two Dakotas -- I plan to double that.

3. We will finally have a president who doesn't mind pulling over and asking for directions. Am I right, ladies?

2. I will appoint a committee to find out what the heck is happening on "Lost."

1. One more pantsuit joke and Letterman disappears.

Compare that with her January 2000 Top 10 list: "Top 10 reasons that I, Hillary Clinton, finally decided to appear on 'The Late Show.' "

10. I lost a bet with Tipper.

9. I did think this was a show where you answer a couple of easy questions and you win a million dollars.

8. If Dan Quayle did it, how hard could it be?

7. I was already in town to interview for the Jets' head coach position.

6. Four words: severe lapse of judgment.

5. I needed an excuse to get out of dinner with Donald Trump.

4. When they threw in a "Late Show" tote bag, I said, "Gas up the Taurus, Bill, we're goin' to Dave's."

3. I have not been in the Ed Sullivan Theater since I was dating Ringo.

2. Um, to tell you the truth, Dave, I thought Johnny hosted this show.

1. If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere.

Posted at 12:40 PM ET on Aug 31, 2007
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amen to that, but she'd probably forget us little people anyway

Posted by: charder_fmu | September 1, 2007 4:38 PM

but a cupcake would be nice

Posted by: donatello55 | September 1, 2007 4:37 PM

Thanks for replying, donatello. Let us hope she's not wathing us that closely. I don't even want her as our president, least of all my personal body checker.

Posted by: charder_fmu | September 1, 2007 4:31 PM

I think that either she is literally watching our rear ends, or she is breaking a level of security and we have to be careful. I like the first idea. What would happen if that got into the media? Headline News: "Reports state Hillary Clinton is sneaking around to take a peek at the public's rears. More information will come as things become more clear..." That would be hilarious. Probably ruin her chances for becoming president, too.

Posted by: donatello55 | September 1, 2007 4:23 PM

nogoodwillcomeofthis, what was it about that butt comment? I mean, it was funny, but where did it come from? What does everyone else think?

Posted by: charder_fmu | September 1, 2007 4:14 PM

If Hillary 'watches' and hears what she does NOT want to hear, her revenge could plot crime? Excellent snapshot for fiction but in reality I hope not.

Posted by: tabita | September 1, 2007 12:09 AM

Hillary did an outstanding job

misleading the audience into

believing she wants to "bring the troops home"

it wasn't until the very end she slipped in-

almost unnoticed- the fact that she intends

to keep troops in Iraq indefinitely.

The audience went quiet and you could almost

the the unanimous "Huh?" that hung in the air.

Hillary is a master of deceit. Good job Hillary!

Keep on fudging around the edges and you are

sure to win the nomination from the

party of dimwits.

Posted by: julieds | September 1, 2007 12:07 AM

Cover your butt, Hillary's watching.


Posted by: nogoodwillcomeofthis | August 31, 2007 10:58 PM

"For over a century there have been only two Dakotas -- I plan to double that."

There are already twice as many Dakotas as necessary. I want the candidate that's going to cut the number in half and go back to calling it 'Dakota Territory.'

Posted by: bsimon | August 31, 2007 5:01 PM

You Can't Fix STUPID!!!

Posted by: Vic5440 | August 31, 2007 4:08 PM

Not funny to make fun of 'Gitmo' in an
anything but funny top ten list. The audience didn't laugh, David declined her invitation and we were reminded about Angela Merkel excluding the fact her husband almost NEVER participates in her political life.
A first female president that can't stop using her ex husband as her sugar daddy is somehow a joke. A funny one.

Posted by: tabita | August 31, 2007 2:50 PM

Hillary was soo funny last night. She had a great time with Dave and her Top Ten list.

Posted by: mcsizzlesizzle | August 31, 2007 2:15 PM

Letterman was at his best. We hope soon he will invite Mike Bloomberg

Posted by: tabita | August 31, 2007 1:41 PM

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