Dave Barry on Barry Obama

By Joel Achenbach
DERRY, N.H. -- I've temporarily run out of material, but fortunately Dave Barry, professional humorist, is here in the media section, and I'm just going to hand him my laptop. Writes Dave:

We're here in a gym in Derry, watching Barack Obama, who is for Change. I was for Change when I got here, but then I had to wait like two hours for Obama to arrive, so now I'm not so sure I'm for Change. Now I am more for Punctuality. Achenbach, on the other hand, is totally [DELETED DUE TO WILD MISCHARACTERIZATION OF REPORTER'S ATTITUDE] Obama. He has no [DELETED DUE TO RECKLESS OVERSTATEMENT] whatsoever about it. He wants to have [DELETED - HYPERBOLE] baby. I just thought you should know.

Here's something else you should know: There's a former New Hampshire congressman named [DELETED FOR REASONS OF TASTE]. This is a known fact: I confirmed it on the Internet, and reported it on my blog. (And you know that if something has appeared on a blog, it is true.) So anyway, I recently got a tip that [DELETED] has a brother-in-law named [EXTRAORDINARILY COARSE JOKE THAT'S UNPUBLISHABLE EXCEPT IN A GENE WEINGARTEN COLUMN]. I can't figure out how to sneak this fact into my newspaper, the Miami Herald, so I'm slipping it into the Washington Post, which has lower standards.