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Total Loser

Everyone else is going to The Game, I'm going home to do taxes. Am the hugest loser of all time. (But I did go see the first Nationals spring training game -- that's the subatomic particle of self-esteem to which I can attempt to cling.) I guarantee there will be a reciprocal relationship between the quality of the seat tonight at the Nationals game and the number of players the person in that seat can identify on sight. People in the nosebleed seats at RFK will be able to reel off the entire lineup, the backups at each position, who's a righty and who's a lefty in the bullpen, etc., while the people right behind home plate and the dugouts will be saying, "Are we the team in red?"

My bitterness is infinite.

By Joel Achenbach  |  April 14, 2005; 3:51 PM ET
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