Truly Hideous Basketball

Went to a basketball game yesterday at MCI. The Wizards had a bad game. The other team, the Pacers, had a bad game. The referees had a bad game. I thought the guy selling popcorn had a bad game.

The Wizards and Pacers clanged shots off the rim like dupes on a boardwalk trying to win a stuffed bear for a dollar a shot. Our guys stumbled around the court as though participating in a sack race. Of our three best players, one wore street clothes on the bench and another might as well have worn them onto the court -- poor Larry Hughes, he had some kind of elbow injury and made his first basket in the third quarter on a one-inch tip-in. Final score, 79-76, which should have been the score after three quarters. I took three children to the game, and tried to explain that, because it was Sunday, the players probably had hangovers. In other words, yes, we lost, but it's not anyone's fault. Some things are just unavoidable.

Afterward we went to a restaurant and had french fries, cake and soda (it's so easy to be a hero when you're a Dad). We played coaster football. This is when you flick the coaster across the table and hope it stops at the edge, hanging, partially on and partially off -- touchdown! Because I am a modest man I am not going to make a big deal about how I crushed the competition. Simple fact: Some people are good at coaster football. Some people aren't.