This just in from Miss P. Achenbach, age 14:
"And now a word from a "ridiculous" kid - a.k.a. your sponsor.
"I would like to congratulate you for being able to spot a rich kid by looking at their teeth. In the old days I hear that's how horses were selected. But I am thankful to not have to live with my inheritance of snaggle-teeth. So thank you and Dr. Tigani.
"I don't deny that I love my Grandmother's old Lexus. But it's just that - my Grandmother's. Really, I'm not picky. Anything European and convertible is fine with me.
"As for being a "preppie," how dare you! Don't go lumping me in with my little sister--who is just going through the 'phase', by the way. You think that anyone who goes shopping is a prep. Just face it, Dad - you have no idea what you're talking about.
"I would love to become a do-gooder, work for the Peace Corps, or some NGO. But before I can do any of that, I'm going to have to work really hard and study to get a decent-paying job so I can afford to support your ridiculous self in your retirement. So just watch out who you go callin' a rich kid."
Dear Achenkid: I am thrilled to hear that you are going to support me in my retirement, since, as we know, Social Security will be bankrupt and I will have squandered hundreds of thousands of hard-earned dollars on your COLLEGE EDUCATION. I am glad to know that my own family is not so elevated and elitist as to be immune from the phenomenon of kids talking back to their parents. I never knew you were a back-talker, much less a back-blogger. But I love you anyway. Now do your homework.
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