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Paula Abdul Victim of Discrimination?

Tonight's the big night for Paula Abdul, the target of an allegedly explosive ABC "Primetime" report on her alleged relationship with an alleged singer named Corey Clark. My own suspicion is that ABC is picking on her because she's an Arab. [To the snippety commenters: I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. She's actually Chinese, and part French. DUH.]

The gist of the allegation is that she originally approached Clark, offered to help him with clothes and song choice, said she'd be like his Mom, then said she'd be like his sister, then said she'd be his "special" friend. It sounds as though she was offering incest at that point.

But here's the key fact: Clark got booted from the show early on. The judges don't have any control over the fate of the final 32 contestants -- viewers do. There's a serious element of "no harm, no foul" here. Not to mention that this is just a dumb SINGING CONTEST. You would think that ABC News has discovered for the first time that there were no WMDs in Iraq. They should preface tonight's "Primetime" with a viewer discretion warning: The following show contains material that may be offensive to intelligent viewers. Let's face it, Paula needs some love. Ease up, people. Girl got all that pain. She needed some of that special healing. We forgive you, Paula.

That said, someone should arrest Ryan Seacrest immediately. Manufacture a charge if that's what it takes.

[By the way, notice how Simon, in "praising" Bo Bice for making the others look like "amateurs," was positively glowering at Bo. That was Simon's way of saying, "You're 50 years old and a professional singer and have no right to be in this contest." Also liked his reference to the robotic performance by Carrie. She's definitely factory-made. Anthony gets booted tonight.]

By Joel Achenbach  |  May 4, 2005; 6:53 AM ET
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You watch? You *really* watch that show? So much for an Ivy League education...

However, even as a non-watcher, I agree Ryan Seacrest needs to be removed from society. Are facials ever fatal?

Posted by: Wendy | May 4, 2005 7:28 AM | Report abuse

I stopped watching this show after Nadia got ejected. She's by far the most talented and consistent performer on the show.

No one this year has been anywhere near as good as Fantasia was, though. Easily the best performer ever... she could make even the most banal songs sound heartfelt. A pity her career has been wasted with a cd where she barely sings a note.

Posted by: Cassander | May 4, 2005 7:54 AM | Report abuse

So this is what happens to highly intelligent people when they have adolescent children -- they watch American Idol and then try to justify it by writing about it. The one good thing about Joel's mind is that it curious and supple enough to bear the unbearable.

I can only imagine what the indignity of 2010 will be when my son is ten....

Posted by: Hillary | May 4, 2005 8:28 AM | Report abuse

Joel needs to get his facts straight. Paula Abdul is of Jewish ancestry.

Posted by: Alexandra | May 4, 2005 8:34 AM | Report abuse

Yes, well, with a name like Abdul she could only be of Jewish ancestory.

Posted by: Vic | May 4, 2005 8:42 AM | Report abuse

Here is a question. Why should we care? I mean...really...

Posted by: washingtondc | May 4, 2005 8:42 AM | Report abuse

about Paula Abdul that is...and her ancestory

Posted by: washingtondc72 | May 4, 2005 8:44 AM | Report abuse

Alexandra is right...a quick Google of "Paula Abdul Jewish" brings up plenty of confirmation that her father is a Sephardic Jew and her mother is a Canadian Jew.

Should we care? Probably not. Joel was reaching for some humor, he just got his facts wrong. Of course as a journalist, he should be sure he's right before posting on his blog. His Georgetown students would be very disappointed.

Posted by: Hillary | May 4, 2005 8:45 AM | Report abuse

My 15 year old follows that show and now I know that you do too. Jeeze, watch some basketball or something.

Posted by: LB | May 4, 2005 8:49 AM | Report abuse

Hey, hey, hey! Please refer to the New Achenblog Comment Policy Posted at 09:20 AM ET, 05/ 1/2005. No judgement needed here or all this fun stuff gets shut down. Plus following ridiculous and sophmoric shows makes one feel better about ones self.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 4, 2005 8:57 AM | Report abuse

Hey, hey, hey! Please refer to the New Achenblog Comment Policy Posted at 09:20 AM ET, 05/ 1/2005. No judgement needed here or all this fun stuff gets shut down. Plus following ridiculous and sophmoric shows makes one feel better about ones self.

Posted by: washingtondc | May 4, 2005 8:58 AM | Report abuse

Oh look, Joel has insulted the TV snobs again, just because he watches a crappy show.

Posted by: Chris | May 4, 2005 9:01 AM | Report abuse

It IS a crappy show! Merely pointing that out -- as you did -- doesn't make one a TV snob....

Posted by: Hillary | May 4, 2005 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Nevermind Idol. We have to get Joel a t.v. show so he can get some celebrity-style love. Joel, your bud David Duchovny gave you a "shout-out" on a local radio station yesterday and the morning d.j. said, "He still works here?"

Posted by: Andrea | May 4, 2005 9:17 AM | Report abuse

The time stamps are so ridiculous. I posted that a little before 7 a.m., not a little before 4.

Posted by: Achenbach | May 4, 2005 9:46 AM | Report abuse

thats weird, they just fixed the time stamps. NEVER MIND.

Posted by: Achenbach | May 4, 2005 9:53 AM | Report abuse

So is there better TV out there? What, Desperate Housewives?!? TV is what it is. If you don't like it blah blah. Guess there's always booze, therapy and John Stewart. Sheesh. lol.

Posted by: Postee | May 4, 2005 10:02 AM | Report abuse

So, we all figured out that TV is not exactly for the "smart"? TV is the Ambesol of life; it's for numbing the pain of normal boring everydayisms.

It's TV, it's 100% entertainment, even news broadcasts barely worry about being..ahem.. "fair and balanced"(TM).

Even Law and Order has jumped the shark. No one's watching the new "trial by jury", so.....they'll connect the other shows, so people HAVE TO watch it to get what's going on. Brilliant, and very sneaky. But upsetting at the same time.

All of RealiTV is garrish and over drawn. It's not to be taken seriosuly. ABC should have instead done an expose on the NBA's seemingly "double secret" concept about how they treat their star players differently than the normies; and how suddenly officials have changed their ways of officiating in the playoffs(like they do every year).

Fallen Idol...

Posted by: Fitz | May 4, 2005 10:25 AM | Report abuse

I need to bring it to your attention that the phrase "jump the shark" has, in fact, jumped the shark.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 4, 2005 10:30 AM | Report abuse

For pete's sake, the guy's name was COREY!

Corey Clark...sounds like a winner to me... in the Oscar Meyer "Big Wiener" Contest.

only 12 years old girls should be named Corey (with all due respect to Haim, Feldmen, and Hart)

on a side Corey short for something, like Corrence, or Corenthal?

Posted by: Fitz | May 4, 2005 10:33 AM | Report abuse

There are no WMDs in Iraq?

Posted by: Bilbo | May 4, 2005 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Thanks Mr. Blank, for posting that, been saving that gem for all this time? only to have already seen it before?

I will say, it is overused, and used poorly. It needs timing, and necessity. JTS should pertain only to that moment of desperation so bad, something totally unnecessary needs to be done, which usually leads to a flop.

In short, JTS doesn't mean "overplayed" or "overdone". It means, "this is the last ditch effort to make this work."

Posted by: Fitz-redux | May 4, 2005 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Paula Abdul is not Jewish. She's not even circumcized. Check for yourself if you don't believe me.

Posted by: Old Friend of Paula | May 4, 2005 11:03 AM | Report abuse

I have five words for ABC:

Battle of the Network Stars

If they want to spend an hour of prime time airtime promoting other networks shows, they should bring back BOTNS -- THAT was entertainment!!!

Posted by: Hillary | May 4, 2005 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Joel, just because you watch that show doesn't mean we are passing judgement, although someone would have to strap me in a chair with my eyelids held open like in A Clockwork Orange to get me to watch it.

Posted by: LB | May 4, 2005 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Fitz, your post is too funny.

You go on about how TV is stupid and a pointless waste of time and then suggest that ABC should investiage... basketball! That's too much. As if watching professional sports is any less pointless than TV.

Posted by: Cass | May 4, 2005 11:40 AM | Report abuse

I'll be honest: Most of the serious watching of that show is done by my ace assistants, who are ages 9, 11 and 13. I just check in periodically while multi-tasking (i.e., writing columns that are not remotely good enough to print). By the way, why does everyone write "judgement" instead of "judgment"?

Posted by: Achenbach | May 4, 2005 11:43 AM | Report abuse

guess you missed the Joke Boat on that one. I'm sorry it was wasted. I'll spell it out: I would not be suprised to see a mini series about corruption in a pro sport this summer. And GP(general public) will eat it up like it is something new.

Anyway, I don't recall using the words "stupid and a pointless waste of time" ever when talking about TV. Television is neither pointless nor stupid; TV executives/producers are a different story. Any network that can't figure out what to do with a hit show until 3 years after it was cancelled can't be ran by MENSA candidates.

My point is: as long as someone's willing to watch it, they'll shovel out another cookie cut show until popular demand demands better.

Think of TV like people. People are inherently good, it's the corrupt ones that mark us all bad.


it's just like how people say reguardless instead of regardless.

Posted by: Fitz | May 4, 2005 12:47 PM | Report abuse

"Judgement," isn't that the British spelling? Perhaps some readers are interested in colonizing your blog.

I confess, I watched American Idol last night, but kept a healthy distance. Tuesday is free pool night at my favorite watering hole. A few cold ones in the taproom over billiards and closed-captioning mitigate the intellectual truancy of the Idle experience.

Nadia was my favourite too, but she got hosed.

Posted by: peter | May 4, 2005 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Intelligent viewers, Joel? A T.V. snob would say that's an oxymoron. Not that I would say that, of course, being a proud member of the unwashed masses who love to watch T.V. I mean, just to prove my credentials, Fear Factor is one of my favorites.

Posted by: jlessl | May 4, 2005 1:52 PM | Report abuse

I always say regardless irreguardless of whether anyone else thinks it is correct.

Posted by: LB | May 4, 2005 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Could we not just boot them all off the show first thing and then put on some real tv, like simpsons, or Flintstones?

Posted by: alberta | May 4, 2005 2:56 PM | Report abuse

I'm just glad my TV is broken.

Posted by: Bud | May 4, 2005 3:16 PM | Report abuse

I'm looking forward to watching "Revelations" tonight. The meeting of science and religion will ultimately lead us to the meaning of life. (And I don't think the answer will be 42.)

Posted by: Non-Idol viewer | May 4, 2005 3:54 PM | Report abuse

I think the answer is 3.1416, or at least pumpkin.

Posted by: Fitz | May 4, 2005 5:48 PM | Report abuse

Could be orange? Which is why nothing rhymes with it...

Posted by: DC | May 4, 2005 6:20 PM | Report abuse

Who wouldn't want a peice of Corey Clark? I forgive you, Paula (do you still have his number?).

Posted by: Ryan | May 9, 2005 8:50 AM | Report abuse

Hollywood Insider news on Paula Abdul:

FOX execs recently held a meeting with Paula and ripped her a new a-hole for the Corey affair. Paula admitted about the affair to her camp and FOX execs.

Randy Jackson was (up to now) producing Paula's new CD, but has since backed out of that position in light of Paula's affair with Corey and for damaging the show's credibility. Needless to say, Randy and Simon are extremely pissed off and, if you watch closely, their on-camera body language reflects it.

FOX execs lean towards Paula leaving the show next season.

Posted by: TruthSeeker | May 11, 2005 1:07 AM | Report abuse

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