Quarter to midnight at Achenblog

Um, I thought this little electronic social petri dish Joel calls a blog WAS the cover idea. Sheesh.

Publically humiliated! I am in big trouble. Let me just ask, does WOODWARD ever get treated like this? I just can't see his editor grabbing his blog right out of his hands and posting a remonstration. [In any case I am obviously going to have to put the nose to the grindstone, as soon as I find the right grindstone.] [Though may never show face in public again.]

I think I've just lost the will to live.

But what can we Kaboodlers do to save the blog? Throw insults at Joel's feet instead of compliments?

Whatever it takes, we will do it. And we come very cheap. What WE get for playing on the blog is even LESS than Joel's cigar money.

Can't help but be suspicious that this is a ruse to see just how much we love (depend upon) Joel and/or this blog.

But just in case this isn't a ruse... Joel get to work! We can live without you for a few hours a day, just so long as we have the next day to look forward to.

The whole purpose of this blog is to be the vehicle for our procrastination from our jobs. Thus, Sydney, your threat is more disturbing than you know. Without the blog, we may actually return to working. This could cause a mid-summer surge in productivity that Washington, obliviously heading into the blissful time known as "August recess," is completely unprepared to handle. In other words, THINGS JUST MIGHT GET DONE. This is unimaginable for most veteran Washingtonians who know that regardless of the weather, August is the very best time to stay in town. The resulting chaos could literaly bring the city, nay, the country, to its knees.

I echo Tom fan - no price is too high to keep this blog humming along. We await your demands.

literally, that is

See? The threat of a dead blog has converted a Lurker to a Kaboodler. It's a miracle!
(Anyone want to start printing some "Save the Kaboodle" T-shirts?)

But wait. Joel isn't blogging anymore. He's reading.

(Digresses, thinking of Eddie Murphy)

"Kill my landlord. C. I. L. My Landlord."

I think that Joel should write a piece on the blogworld, now that he has hands-on experience. Or perhaps that's too cutting-edge for the Post's Magazine readership?

Hang on, Sydney. I'm on my way to Joel's porch to flog him with a wet noodle until he comes up something.

Sydney -
In order to cure this problem you're going to have to get at the root of it, which is that Joel's definition of "work" is, to understate it, overly broad. As long as he is thinking about work, however distractedly, he persuades himself that he is "busy," even if he is actually engaged in pursuits that most gainfully employed people would consider "play." For instance, among the activities Joel considers "work" are driving (especially but not necessarily if he is driving to or from the office); reading the newspaper; cooking; hiking; watching sports on TV; and, of course, "porching."

Are we sure this post was really from Sydney? Could it not have been from Hal, whose evil machinations to take over the blog Achenbach has warned us about from day one? Might this not be Hal's first move toward global domination?

Sydney: Chill.

Sydney, how long have you been an editor? Do you really think an experienced professional journalist needs a blog to put off doing "real" work? Generations of newshounds managed to procrastinate before the digital age -- even before "porch" became a verb.
If you kill the blog, there's just no telling what your errant charge will come up with next.
Remember that you are dealing with the Post's explainer-in-chief of numerous arcane but potentially panic-inducing subjects.
Proceed with caution.
Cajole, do not threaten.

I think we could live without the Kit for like a day, maybe two. In a way, we might have a hell of a lot to Kaboodle about. So Sydney, if you must use the nuclear option on the Kit, fear not, for us cockroaches will carry on with our kaboodlepalooza.

Also, it was fun when Tom and you made the guest appearances. It was like when the fun babysitter came and cracked open the ice cream and just all the crazy kids long spoons!

ugh. "just -gave- all the crazy kids..."

Sydney: Stop the clock. Please don't KTB. Perhaps we can teach Joel to do two things at once - like work and blog. I am just an eavesdropper on this "little electronic social petri dish." (Good description jw.) It is very educational. I have learned how to keep my sneakers tied, how to "porch", what to buy at Costo, and other consequential and inconsequential things. Perhaps Joel could do a story on grindstones. There must be lots of old mills around DC. Maybe we could create an "idea bank" for cover (or undercover) subjects. Please don't give up, Joel, we need you to add spice to our lives each day. Some of your Kits really are "journalism."

No one pretended to be me today! That's good. I'm sitting here in a completely mis-matched outfit (the Giants hat matches nothing, but my hair is weird because I slept on it wet--bad idea) feeling somewhat less sick and thinking I'll be back tomorrow if my new headache-free head arrives soon. And I don't have to worry about fixing an Achenblog identity mix-up tomorrow, which is good because cold medicine really packs a punch with me (I'm not exactly an ogre of a woman) and I don't know that I'd be mentally up to it.

Sara,

Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. Hope there's a blog for you to come back to tomorrow.

[I'm not sure what Sydney thinks WE can do to help her.]

First Scotty buys the farm and now this.

I may have to go back to therapy.

Sydney -

I'm pretty sure it was Dave Barry who once warned that no writer should move into a new house. Not enough things on the list to fix, not even one - what's a procrastinator to do?

Follow the logic - Joel NEEDS the blog to accomplish the necessary delay/mental fermentation required to produce real thinking. Heck, it's a cliche - you go to sleep on a conundrum and the answer hits you while showering the next morning. Do you really want an alert, on-task, proactive Joel who produces work only a vanity press would accept?

Suecris

Sydney,

Joel is destined to fail because Luther Gulick's Principle of Unity of Command is being violated. Joel cannot serve two masters simultaneously. He is either a blogger--attending 24/7 to those of us who visit this site--or he is a Post weekly columnist appeasing others. Personally, I prefer him here. Joel is funniest without editors. My guess, though, is he prefers being paid over being appreciated, so if you kill the blog, I'll understand.

I don't know what to think. Should I compliment Achenbach or tell him to go do some work? But i am already addicted to the blog and can't imagine a day whithout it.
:(

Eh...Kill it. Achenbach's starting to smell thanks to his obsessive checking of posts at the expense of his personal hygiene.

That ought to do the trick, Joel (bntJ)!
Thanks!

Sydney, they're talking about you on the other thread. Sort of a "hot or not" discussion, which has no relevance to important issues.

But can you give us just a little hint? I'd ask Joel, but I don't trust his perception on this matter.

Why are AchenKaboodlers more interested in Sydney's appearance than they are in each other's? Why the obsession? Is it because she's famous? Besides, SYDNEY IS THE ENEMY. Sydney is The Man.

no! sydney is the WHOA-man...

or should i say The Whoa-Man

WO-man. WOE-man. WHOOOA-man.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.

(I never get tired of watching "So I Married an Axe-Murderer.")

achenfan - actually i always think of Priscilla Queen of the desert - correct me if i'm wrong but isn't the makeup that Tick sells called Wo-man?

I should know the answer to that question, mo, but I'm afraid I've drawn a blank. You've reminded me that I really must watch Priscilla again. (I do have the soundtrack at home, though. "I've been to paradise, but I've, never been to me"!)

achenfan - you get the feeling we're the only one's left in this kaboodle?

I think so, mo; I think so.

No, no. I drop in from time to time. Oddly enough Achenfan, as soon as I read "WO-man. WOE-man. WHOOOA-man", I was thinking "So I Married an Axe Murderer".

One of the all-time greats.

"Heed! Pants! Nowwwwwww!"

yeah - he's AWESOME in that movie - but the chick just bugs me - i've never liked any of her stuff!

Nancy Travis? No, she's niiiiiiiiiice. Maybe it's just the way she handles the sausage grinder.

Fingers crossed my wife isn't reading the blog today, or else I'm in for a beating when I get home.

That heed is so big it has its own weather system!
Charlie! Light a match!

You´ve got to be kidding.please don´t do that. This blog got a terapeutical function to me.i´m in the middle of my summer holidays in azores Islands and i´m only sending this post because i got worried about your intentions.
This blog, i strongly believe, gives something more to the WP site. And it allow us (those from the other side of the atlantic ocean) to have a better knowledgment about your society and your way of living. I`m even thinking in sending a bottle of good(excellent) portuguese wine to Mr. Joel (and not those that he buys in the same wine shop that Karl Rove).
So please reconsider your intentions. The Achenblog is almost a "public service".
Best wishes

It looks like the Achenblog is going to be OK now, Paulo. Yes, it was a bit frightening there for awhile. The Achenblog IS a public service.
Thank you for signing the petition to keep the blog alive!

Dudes,
I'm hanging out in D.C.this week, slumming it at the Grand Hyatt (at someone elses expense!) and I left an important meeting to come upstairs and check out Joel's Blog. Egads! Could Sydney pull the plug?
Tell me it isn't so!! If it can happen to Joel, then all our phony balony jobs are in jeopardy!

Michael

If they do cut the blog, now we'd have to say, with strong Scottish accents, "Blogger down! Blogger down!"

And if your joke bites, we'd have to say, with strong Scottis accents, "Baggins down! Baggins down!"

"Scottish" not "Scottis," but you already knew that.

Please, if you're going to slap at me (and assuming you do understand the reference to the movie), do get your spellings right.

Have a nice day. Or not.

How about: Get rid of (I'd say K-I-L-L like Sydney but would that be ommunicating a threat?) the I-M-P-E-R-I-O-U-S, O-B-N-O-X-I-O-U-S, and O-V-E-R-B-E-A-R-I-N-G editor, who appears to have no life outside of the Washington Post!

Wow. So I guess Joel was supposed to write some piece of crap blog that no one would bothe to read? Why is he being tyrannized for doing a happenin blog? It's the only reason I go to the Post website every day, frankly...