Koko Blog Doesn't Monkey Around
In the future all news will be delivered by blogs, most of them nonverbal -- just images, punctuation, random colors, sound effects, and most of all, mysterious symbols that evoke a reaction in the "reader," much like the symbols on the fourth Led Zeppelin album. [Can you believe that Zeptember is almost over???]
Verbal blogs, like the offering by our guest Andrew Sullivan, will be considered hopelessly textual -- I believe the technical word is logocentric. I guarantee you that the most popular blog on this site in 10 years won't even be produced by a human being, but rather by a machine or perhaps by Koko the Gorilla. Koko has a good blog. The life of a gorilla is strikingly nonpolitical, but deeply sensual. She doesn't like gossip; she does like apple juice. Koko pares away the non-essential verbiage and gets right to the point of the matter. The blog states:
"Koko can sign "open" when she wants her caregivers to open her gate to go back inside (or "outside" when she's inside), "more food" if she's still hungry after a meal, "apple juice" if she's "thirsty" for some, "toilet" when she wants to use the potty, "thank you" when she appreciates something, and "love" (or "Koko love") when she wants to express her feelings about something or someone."
Hemingway, watch your back.
For the moment it appears that someone else is doing the writing for Koko, and though some might deride that, I must say that's my own long-term career path as well. Like flying coach or driving myself to work, doing my own writing is something I won't be doing much longer. And say this for Koko: She doesn't bend our ears with a lot of jabber about her latest thinly researched and heavily biased opinion on a weighty global topic. She has the courage of silence. Were we all so gifted.
More food. Thirsty. Toilet. Thank you.
[Speaking of blogs, it is good to see the JW mojoblog is still going, but why don't more boodlers start blogs?]
By
Joel Achenbach
|
September 21, 2005; 10:09 PM ET
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Posted by: LB | September 22, 2005 9:09 AM | Report abuse
I haven't mentioned to dot.com that I posted new material. I'll do that in a minute. And then if they want to they'll put it on the front. One easy way to find it, fyi, is www.washingtonpost.com/achenblog.
Posted by: Achenbach | September 22, 2005 9:19 AM | Report abuse
LB, another easy way to find it--make it your homepage.
Posted by: Sara | September 22, 2005 9:26 AM | Report abuse
Just kidding about the fading. I'll always find it, somehow, someway.
Posted by: LB | September 22, 2005 9:30 AM | Report abuse
my golden retriever signs. She puts her nose to the ground and her butt in the air when she wants to play, cowers when she is knows she is in trouble, wags her tail when she is happy. Now if I could just teach her that toilet sign. Maybe that's what she is doing when she stands by the back door.
Posted by: LB | September 22, 2005 9:36 AM | Report abuse
","
Posted by: Tom fan | September 22, 2005 9:39 AM | Report abuse
Wow, now _there's_ some motivation for us 'boodlers to blog, Joel.
I think I'll blog with my pets, give people some virtual pet ownership:
Catblog 2:44:15 AM: Cat A chases Cat B through the house [Cat A: I'm gonna get you! Cat B: No, you're not.]
Catblog 2:52:40 AM: Cat B chases Cat A through the house [Cat B: I'm gonna get you! Cat A: No, you're not.]
Catblog 5:15:51 AM: Cat A and Cat B begin sleep mode.
Dogblog 6:33:11 AM: Walks to back door and whines [I need to go potty in the back yard].
Dogblog 6:37:34 AM: Barks outside back door [I'm done now, like to come back in.].
Dogblog 6:38:15 AM: Smiles and wags tail at yr hmbl srvnt [Thanks, I needed that. I love you. Will you pet me now?].
Dogblog 6:43:22 AM: Walks to empty food bowl, looks at yr hmbl srvnt, and whines [I'm hungry. Will you please feed me now?].
Dogblog 6:45:41 AM: Eats dogfood, drinks water. Moves to dog bed begins sleep mode.
Catblog 7:02:36 AM:
Dogblog 7:15:25 AM:
There's more where that came from.
This afternoon: going to the litterbox!
bc
Posted by: bc | September 22, 2005 9:47 AM | Report abuse
I think they should give Koko a computer with a special keyboard (that has pictures like the cash registers at Burger King) and let her type her own blog. She would probably have a cult following in no time.
Posted by: Koko fan | September 22, 2005 9:49 AM | Report abuse
bc -
I'm one of very few people around who would actually read your dog and cat blogs. Having 5 cats and 2 big stupid dogs myself, I just never seem to tire of the critters. I installed a doggie door to end the whining to get out and accidents at 6 a.m. Now they notice squirrels with insomnia at 3 a.m. and tear out into the backyard barking furiously. Almost every night.
Posted by: suecris | September 22, 2005 10:09 AM | Report abuse
I feel your pain, suecris.
I wonder what button Koko would hit for "Can't blog now. Must fling poo to express my dissatisfaction with the Bush Administration. Or because I'm bored. Back after I visit the Hill. 'bye for now, sweeties."
bc
Posted by: bc | September 22, 2005 10:28 AM | Report abuse
There is a wonderful kids book about Koko (a Reading Rainbow selection) called Koko's Kitten. It tells how Koko befriended a tailless tiger kitten, and the pictures are great even if the story is sad. Koko uses sign language in the book, and though her vocabulary is limited, she is very expressive.
Posted by: alert reader | September 22, 2005 10:53 AM | Report abuse
Is Reading Rainbow still on? Does Levar Burton host it? I used to love that show.
Posted by: jw | September 22, 2005 11:10 AM | Report abuse
I do have my own blog, and you're the first link! (http://womaninterrupted.typepad.com). Of course, I usually only lurk here.
Posted by: pls | September 22, 2005 11:14 AM | Report abuse
I tried that link and it didnt work. Want to post it again? I honestly don't know why people don't post links to their personal blogs more often. It's like free advertising here. It's a public bulletin board. The only downside would be the inevitable derision, the hooting, the invective.
Posted by: Achenbach | September 22, 2005 4:04 PM | Report abuse
The link didn't work? I'm stunned.
;)
Posted by: Tom fan | September 22, 2005 4:27 PM | Report abuse
Maybe it was an errant . or ) Try this:
http://womaninterrupted.typepad.com
Posted by: C. Bodine | September 22, 2005 4:48 PM | Report abuse
Maybe the time has finally come for me to eat my hat. (But maybe not.)
Posted by: Tom fan | September 22, 2005 4:54 PM | Report abuse
I usually lurk because I'm too paranoid to post from work. But if Joel is encouraging shameless self-promotion, then so be it: http://spakkadi.blogspot.com
I've linked to this place a few times. In fact, I do believe I invited Joel to participate in a meme back in May:
http://spakkadi.blogspot.com/2005/05/music-meme.html
Will we ever know what kind of music Joel listens to?
Posted by: SpakKadi | September 25, 2005 10:50 PM | Report abuse
KoKo isn't the only monkey with a blog.
http://wvsockmonkey.blogspot.com
My goal and the goal of the West Virginia Sock Monkey Association is to make the Sock Monkey the official state animal of West Virginia.
Posted by: West Virginia Sock Monkey | September 29, 2005 11:15 PM | Report abuse
The comments to this entry are closed.
Boy Joel, I had to click on 2 or 3 links to find your blog. It used to be on the Post's homepage. Right up front. Your fading dude.