Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity

Hillary-Bashing Tryouts

The candidates in both parties continue to huff and puff on the hamster wheel that is the 2007 presidential campaign. Divorced from meaningful votes by actual citizens, the process has been both frenetic and static: Much verbiage and scampering around the country, but no real movement in the polls or any sense that someone has emerged decisively from the pack. Frustrated by their lack of traction, Republicans will now turn to the next mandatory ritual in the campaign: Hillary-bashing tryouts.

This is where you try to show your fellow Republicans that you have the man-stuff to take down the socialist senator from New York. It's the hypothetical general election campaign: Close your eyes and pretend it's September 2008 instead of September 2007.

A fine example: John McCain last week issued a three-sentence statement attacking Hillary Clinton for something she said in the Senate hearing with Petraeus, and for not repudiating the controversial "General Betray Us" MoveOn.org ad:

"Senator Clinton said that believing General Petraeus' testimony requires a 'willing suspension of disbelief.' I think it willingly suspends disbelief to not repudiate an advertisement run by a radical left wing organization that impugns and dishonors the integrity of a man who has served his nation with dedication all of his life. If you're not tough enough to repudiate a scurrilous, outrageous attack such as that, then I don't know how you're tough enough to be President of the United States."

This feels like practice rhetoric. McCain doesn't actually talk that way on the stump. But his campaign must think that the "not tough enough" theme will benefit the former POW and hurt the woman (women are, as you know, powderpuffs) who is leading the Democratic pack.

Giuliani got into the act with a full-page ad in The New York Times, again attacking Clinton and MoveOn, and has now released an Internet ad that is all about Hillary. Titled "She Changed," it shows her voting for the War in 2002, then changing her tune when she became a candidate:

"Clinton stood silently by when MoveOn.org ran this venomous ad in the New York Times...General Petraeus and the brave men and women serving under him deserve an apology. And our nation deserves better. [Cut to black-and-white photo of Clinton adjusting eyeglasses and looking every bit as devious as Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate.] Senator Clinton, do the right thing, apologize for your comments and condemn the MoveOn.org ad."

Somewhere along the line, American politicians developed a nervous tic in which they compulsively demand that other politicians apologize for something. At some point I'll try to put together a complete list of contemporary apology demands. This is obviously related to the much broader Sanctimony Epidemic.

Giuliani's ad says that Clinton "joined with" MoveOn.org in attacking Petraeus. But one might note that, in fact, Clinton had nothing to do with the MoveOn.org advertisement. Her egregious error, allegedly, is a failure to do what the Republicans declare that she should have done if she didn't have a cold and pitiless heart the size of a peanut.

But wait, there's more! Rudy also has come out with a press release attacking Hillary's health care plan:

"Senator Clinton's latest health scheme includes more government mandates, expensive federal subsidies and more big bureaucracy - in short, a prescription for an increase in wait times, a decrease in patient care and tax hikes to pay for it all."

All's fair in love and politics. Wrestling with substantive issues such as health care is appropriate in any season. But I don't remember a primary election in which candidates in one party were so quick to go after a specific candidate in the other party.

This is an unusual election in that there's no incumbent. Except the Republicans have decided to invent one in the person of Sen. Clinton. Getting nowhere as they try to run against one another, perhaps they'll have more luck if they run against Hillary.

--

Curmudgeon this morning handled the Talk Like A Pirate Day duties in the boodle:

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh, ye swabbies, time t'leap from yer hammocks and start swabbin' the decks. 'Tis comin' up on six bells in the mornin' watch, it be, and Cooky's got the gruel a'simmerin' in th' stew pot, but thar be no grub for ye wot don't shake a leg. Wind's east by southeast and ain't nuffing but a zephyr, so we may hafta put some a you dogs in the longboats t' row us outta here until a right proper breeze blows up.

Arghhhhh.

Oh, and by the way, stand ye well clear of certain members o' th' crew wot has covered themselves w' gladiator oil and but a single eyepatch over his Davy Jones. We don't need none o' that behavyur ab'ard this here vessel. An' when ye go for'rd to the head abeam o' the jib boom under the bow chasers, and the sea spume is breakin' over the bow and yer sittin' there in yer seat of ease and thumbin' through the , don't be tapping yer boot or reachin' under th' stall for someat other feller's seaweed, cuz the master-at-arms be on patrol up thar 'n' he'll put ya on Craigslist for sure.

That is awl.

By Joel Achenbach  |  September 19, 2007; 7:26 AM ET
 
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Vacation Tyranny; Plus, Boodle Mining
Next: Velociraptors and Hobbits; Plus, Study Says Studies Aren't True

Comments

Ahoy, mates! First to walk the plank!

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Senator Clinton suffers from being too articulate and precise. She needs to spend a day doing talk-like-a-pirate therapy. I understand there's an excellent practitioner on East 71st Street in Manhattan, near the Cornell med school and coincidentally next door to the building where Jason Bourne was trained (funny, it seems to be a Sokol hall).

Posted by: Dave of the Coonties | September 19, 2007 10:03 AM | Report abuse

omni want a cracker...oops, wrong day.

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 10:17 AM | Report abuse

I am so over the whole repeated 'calls for apologies' for this or that schtick. If an apology is warranted over a certain issue, the apologies are those mewling "mistakes were made" gobbledygook. Ridiculous! When I hear a public figure say *someone* should apologize for *something* my bs meter starts clanging big time. Unfortunately, it clangs a lot in these interminable campaign 2008 days.

Posted by: Kim | September 19, 2007 10:20 AM | Report abuse

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/translator.html

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Report abuse

Mudge, TBG - I'm sorry, your editing meter must be clanging big time over the apostrophe's, etc., in my previous post...I get all flustered when my bs meter is clanging.

Posted by: Kim | September 19, 2007 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Aye, avast. T' answer the question from dr in t' previous kit, 'tis Cap'n Arrrrrghenbach wot be commandin' this here barky. An' standin' w/ him on quarterdeck be that new arficer... *shifting to Seinfeld voice* Avast... Mister Newman. *And back to piratical voice* It be him wot made that Hal the Schemer arficer walk the plank.

Argh, I be hoistin' anchor to shove arf to a staff meetin' now. Be hoving back uinto view about 7 bells.

Arg.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Report abuse

SIL: Summer Intstitute of Linguistics, maybe???

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 10:38 AM | Report abuse

Howdy, mateys. I like Captain Arrrrgenbach's insight into compulsive apology demands and look forward to his exposition. Why should any candidate apologize for an ad they had nothing to do with? If Hilary has to repudiate and apologize for MoveOn, why not all the other Democratic candidates too? [I note that people unsuccessfully demanded Shrub apologize for the McCain and Swift Boat attacks because both were traceable to his campaign.] Why not have all the Republican candidates apologize for the current administration's failures? After all, they're the same party. And hey, everyone should be apologizing for O.J.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 10:47 AM | Report abuse

The Republican candidates are, to some extent, still hewing to Reagan's old saw about Republicans must say no ill about another Republican. At this point, since Hillary is the titular front-runner for the Dems, she is the convenient target for those want to just generally bash the Dems and smear them all with the broadest brush possible. This whole thing about presidential campaigns running for more than 2 years needs to stop. I'm almost getting nostalgic for the days of the smoke-filled back rooms at the conventions where the nominee was actually selected by the convention instead of just being a coronation ceremony. Memo to the parties--We are not paying attention to any of this drivel until after the holidays, at the earliest. Quick bugging us.

Posted by: ebtnut | September 19, 2007 10:50 AM | Report abuse

SCC: Quit bugging us.

Posted by: ebtnut | September 19, 2007 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Let's have all the sitting Congresspersons apologize for Larry Craig.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Sorry Wilbrod forgot to respond SIL - Sister-in-law.

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 10:53 AM | Report abuse

From the last Boodle: Belated thanks, Mudge, for the tremowndous snack. Also, welcome back Marrghtooni. One day at a time is a good way to go; glad you're making progress.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Thanks to kb for introducing me to the Very Short List daily emails (check out http://www.veryshortlist.com )

Today's gem is called "Kiss your free time good-bye: Scrabble is online, along with a zillion eager players"

http://scrabulous.com

Arrgghh mateys... that's all I be needin' to get my arse kicked for not meetin' me deadlines. Boodle be darned.

Posted by: TBG | September 19, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

This is my favourite Muppets ditty, from their iteration of Treasure Island:

Long John: When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career"
Pirates: Hey ho ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors
Long John: True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
All: And when you're a professional pirate
Bad Polly: That's what the job's about
Long John: "Upstage, lads, this is my ONLY number!"
Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood
Pirates: Hey ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
Long John: On occasion there may be someone you have to execute
All: But when your a professional pirate
Morgan: You don't have to wear a suit..... what?
Mad Monty: I could have been a surgeon
I like taking things apart
Bad Polly: I could have been a lawyer
But I just had too much heart
Morgan: I could have been in politics
Cause I've always been a big spender
Pirate: And me...I could have been a contender
Long John: Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet

Long John's speech...

All: Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fotune and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a professional pirate
Long John: You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly
All: When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 11:56 AM | Report abuse

All apologies, all the time.

Posted by: dr | September 19, 2007 12:05 PM | Report abuse

That's good news, Marghtooni! Seize the day. :-)

Posted by: dbG | September 19, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Glad to have you back, Martooni! Way to be proactive. My hope is that your good days will be prolific.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 12:24 PM | Report abuse

I'm a dunce: Parrots and Pirates obviously go together. So I didn't get the wrong day after all. Arrrgghh

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 12:26 PM | Report abuse

Anybody else catch that item on the news this morning about the space object (meteorite? aircraft debris?) that landed in Peru, made a big hole, had a really bad smell--and made 125 people sick?

I keep telling you guys methane stinks but you won't listen to me.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2007 12:32 PM | Report abuse

I saw that Mudge (although the number of people was listed as 600 sick). I wondered if it was a case of "mass hysteria".

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I seeee! Criticism of Hillary is to be labeled Hillary bashing and thus neutralized and discounted. On the other hand any criticism of candidates done by Hillary is oppositional research and is to be taken seriously. How convenient! We are warned don't bother to criticise Hillary because anything we say will be held against us. Such a win-win for her. I consider this article a Hillary campaign contribution for what it's worth.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Avast mateys! Rejoice with the 'lubbers of the vast frozen north, few though we be (aarrrgh)for we have been awarded a grant for our junior pirates (Youth Development Program)that will bring us $107,000 over two years. Aye, 'tis tragic sure that 'tis a pittance in some circles but in these parts it's treasure unprecedented.

Going into lurk mode while we negotiate all the start up paperwork. Tis a harsh lash the Cap'n o' State uses when pirates are invited to sup at the public trough.

Love and arrghs sent your way Marghtooni!

JA mentioned "powderpuff" re women candidates. Does anyone else visualize Hilary as a Powerpuff Girl? (meant in an admiring, girl-power kind of way)

Posted by: frostbitten | September 19, 2007 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Pirates, eh matey? Check this out: http://rockwoodcomic.com/

Posted by: ebtnut | September 19, 2007 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Ebola outbreak in central Congo claims 168 sickens another 375.

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Repugnant senators block vote on DC voting rights. Killing it this year and possibly next.

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 12:50 PM | Report abuse

martooni, it's good to have you back and better than ever.

I posted something Achenblog-related on the 10thcircle today, something I did on this day one yearrrrr ago...

http://www.10thcircle.com/10/?p=205

More laterrrr..

bc

Posted by: bc | September 19, 2007 12:59 PM | Report abuse

I should note to Mudge's comment above that the eyepatch does not go over "Davy Jones", but Long John Silver.

Please.

bc

Posted by: bc | September 19, 2007 1:01 PM | Report abuse

I've been contemplating this statement in the quote by Captain Arrrrghenbach. "[Cut to black-and-white photo of Clinton adjusting eyeglasses and looking every bit as devious as Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate.]"

I've not seen said photo, but I do understand what he means.

Since her campaign people obviously read the Achenblog,
( http://blog.washingtonpost.com/achenblog/2006/06/blog_forces_change_in_hillarys.html )...

It really is a very apt metaphor, unfortunate, but apt.

Posted by: dr | September 19, 2007 1:03 PM | Report abuse

That Hillary wench should be forced to walk the plank for foisting that recycled health plan on us again. When Ron Paul is Captain in Chief, he won't tolerate no gummint controlled socialized medicine. You'll just pay your doctor directly with yer gold dubloons or pieces of eight.

Avast ye landlubbers, Arrrr!

Posted by: Pop Socket | September 19, 2007 1:03 PM | Report abuse

A quote from a 14 Sept story posted by Science:

IUCN experts found that the western gorilla population has declined by 60% in the past 20 to 25 years and estimated that in the past 15 years Ebola has killed one-third of the animals living in protected areas such as national parks. Those numbers are only the roughest of estimates, Kock says. The current gorilla range "is a huge place. ... It's bloody impossible to know what's going on" in the remote forest regions, he says.
__________________

A bad situation for people and apes.

Posted by: Dave of the Coonties | September 19, 2007 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Davy Jones... Long John Silver...

That reminds me... Whatever happened to "One-Eyed Jack" and "Peg Leg Pete"?

Posted by: marghtooni | September 19, 2007 1:27 PM | Report abuse

It is amazing how the news media allows Hillary to talk out of both sides of her mouth. First she calls the general a liar and a buffoon, and later says she has the up most repect for him. Now why would anyone ask her to apologize for moveon.org comments. She basically said the same thing as them. It must be nice to be on the same side of each issue.

Posted by: imoxie | September 19, 2007 1:32 PM | Report abuse

Well, if Hillary is expected to apologize to the American people for the actions of third parties, I suggest she start by apologizing for the sorry lot of candidates offering themselves up for the Republican nomination (except for Huckabee, who doesn't stand a chance because he's not talking like an idiot.)

Arrgh!

Posted by: Long John Craig | September 19, 2007 1:40 PM | Report abuse

You're lucky I said "Davy Jones," bc; I was thinking about saying "Cap'n Crunch."

I musta missed the part where Hillary called Petraeus a "buffoon." Citation, please, somebody? And I don't recall "liar," either. I do recall "willing suspension of belief."

Front page alert, needless to say, and the bunker is open for business.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2007 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Dave: I just had my environmental studies students graph the summary data. I was surprised at how similar the plot's shapes were. You are correct, sir: This does not bode well.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 1:54 PM | Report abuse

My mother died at 3 a.m. this morning in California. Her heart galloped faster than her body could handle. She turned 93 last month. Tentative plans to scatter her ashes at sea sometime in early October.

The desire to write is gone. I need a K-guy-like extended absence.

Posted by: Loomis | September 19, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

It appears that other WaPo writers have been using Joel as a vocabulary coach.

From Dana Milbank's Washington Sketch piece today on Sen. Craig...

"Evidently, the pre-lunch kerfuffle with the media was sufficiently distressing to Craig that, to avoid the 100 reporters who had amassed during the lunch, he left by the back door."

Posted by: marghtooni | September 19, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My condolences to you and your family.

bc

Posted by: bc | September 19, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Loomis,
When my father died four years ago, it was for a blessing (he had been doing badly), but it was a time for grieving and rememberance. And extended absences.

Posted by: Dave of the Coonties | September 19, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, I too am sorry about your mother, take an absense if that helps. Some here (myself included) found it helpful to share our thoughts about loved ones when they passed. Take care.

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Linda, sorry to hear about your Mom.

Posted by: Achenbach | September 19, 2007 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Loomis - I've very sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you can find some comfort in your happy memories.

Posted by: Kim | September 19, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Puuuleeeeeaaaase....

Ever noticed the "post a comment ditty"

"We encourage users to analyze, comment on and even challenge washingtonpost.com's articles, blogs, reviews and multimedia features."

well, it started with good hillary, than ended with pirate jargon, there's something in here about a dead grandmother and a "pre-lunch kerfuffle", so it's anybodies guess what this blog is about.. so here is my post lunch kerfuffle: Love'd the pirate take on the stall situation, it's good to know what your doing when your doing it.

WHY OR WHY is there so much kerfuffle on OJ. Why does the media hyperfocus on unimportant, well... $#!^?

Why do I hear in the MEDIA about the inhuman things done in West Virginia to a poor black girl? But you'd have to HUNT to find out about Christopher Newsom and Channon Christian who WERE white who had unspeakable things done to them by black assailants - in ADDITION they did not live to tell about it... all the perpetrator's of these unspeakable acts should hang once convicted by the way, but that of course is just one educated opinion and not reactionary). This isn't a racist comment. It's a question about imbalance and the media creating conflict for profit. Rather than creating a world in which we can ALL live.

and hillary. Of course a women could lead the country, but THIS women???????

Medicare is BILLIONS in debt. And exactly WHO is going to pay for EVERYONE to have healthcare??? Being middleclass because i have to work my keister off, i have the uncomfortable feeling it's coming out of my paycheck. I'm glad SOMEONE has time to sit by the 7-11 and enjoy this nice weather and those coming health benefits.

Gosh, I feel much better now.

Posted by: SnottyNozeBratt | September 19, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

my condolences, linda.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 19, 2007 2:28 PM | Report abuse

pride going before a fall, I may as well point out myself that I lost my opening parenthesis. (parenthases?) Sure to make a typo since I claimed edumacation...

so, I think - being such a nice day and all apparently an offical "talk like a pirate day" (Is that a democratic holiday> Rob from the rich and enjoy it like ...) I think I'll declare and enjoy the benefits of a "politically correct day" and BLAME my loss of an opening parenthesis on the little bitty comment screen.... :)

peace and comfort to Loomis too. I hope your mom had a happy life and that you were one of her chief joys.

Posted by: SnottyNozeBratt | September 19, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

snottynozebrat: we can hear you without all the shouting.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 19, 2007 2:30 PM | Report abuse

uh, that was in response to your 2:22 not your 2:29.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 19, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Howdy, L.A.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2007 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, I'm very sorry to hear of your mother's death. My condolences.

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 2:32 PM | Report abuse

hey, martooni, good to hear from ya. hang in there mate!

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 19, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

My condolences, LindaLoo. Every loss is tragic and painful.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 19, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

Linda: I pass along my concolences as well. Peace be with you.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

hey, mudge.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 19, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

I wonder how snb found out about Newsome and Christian?

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 2:35 PM | Report abuse

This ought to raise some eyebrows. Dan Rather is suing CBS for a lot of money:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/20/business/media/19cnd-rather.html?hp=&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1190227376-srffdd7ZlmPWHySQYKo4hw

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 2:45 PM | Report abuse

From what I can gather, it was just a random act of violence. But I'm guessing that Channon wasn't a pretty blonde or we'd be hearing a different kind of complaint. MSM - can't win for losing...

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, I'm so sorry. If you take some time, please lurk, and come back when you feel you can.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 2:48 PM | Report abuse

We may need to get Fletcher Christian to clear the decks of this "Captain"..it appears that this craft has a Regal Cabin where all of the pirates guard the Regal lady from the jabs attendant to a Presidential campaign.

She has declared herself an able jouster, claiming that she has experienced the rough seas of "Right Wing Conspiracies." So Captain Bligh, erg...I mean...Mr. Achenbach, bring her above deck and let her opponents have at her... she says she can handle matters...notwithstanding MoveOn's efforts, in her behalf now that they have smoked the peace-pipe, as foils.

Posted by: JQAsecstate | September 19, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

This caught my eye, Ivansmom. You may have seen it as well as it relates the extinction of different languages. Oklahoma is noted as a place where languages are fading with the passing of people that speak them.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/19/science/19language.html?em&ex=1190347200&en=3c8759a4899f95db&ei=5087%0A

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 2:58 PM | Report abuse

It is snowing in Calgary.

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, my deepest condolences at the official passing of summer in Calgary. Out of kindness I shall refrain from all references to the current weather here. Turning fans westward.

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 3:05 PM | Report abuse

snb,

Welcome, but it takes a while to get up to speed around here. It's like walking into a joint Altman/Monty Python movie an hour into the show. The comments occasionally relate in someway to the nominal blog entry, but this is usually pure coincidence.

The Christian/Newsome killing is famous enough to have a Wikipedia entry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Channon_Christian_and_Christopher_Newsom

Maybe Greta Van Susteren just hasn't found a juicy enough angle yet.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 19, 2007 3:05 PM | Report abuse

*faxing Yoki a hot rum toddy*

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2007 3:06 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, you have my sincerest apologies. Humor became much more important after my mother's unexpected passing...it's how I ended up here. Lurk, and laugh, whenever you can.

Posted by: LostInThought | September 19, 2007 3:08 PM | Report abuse

Maybe Dan Rather can get General Westmoreland to testify as a character witness.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 19, 2007 3:10 PM | Report abuse

apologies? condolences. I'm a goof today.

Posted by: LostInThought | September 19, 2007 3:11 PM | Report abuse

Lost, the Achenblog needs a subtitle.

I nominate Goofs-R-Us

Posted by: omni | September 19, 2007 3:14 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Jack, Oklahoma has 39 different recognized tribes and many more languages. Some are forgotten. This is in large part because for decades the gummint refused to let Indian children speak their native languages and punished them for doing so; now the elders are dead or dying and nobody is left who remembers. Many tribes across the U.S. are making a conscious effort to teach their languages to anyone who will learn, and several have incorporated them into formal programs for kids.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Linda L., condolences.

Yoki, I'll say what dmd has too much class to taunt you with. It is 30C and sunny in your nation's capital. Gorgeous day. Just plain beautiful. It was almost as good yesterday but not quite. I'm off home early to have a drink out on the patio and make a nice BBQ. I hope you have the winter tires installed on your car; it's September after all. You may have all the money out there but our suntans are much better. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 19, 2007 3:34 PM | Report abuse

Loomis;

I sincerely hope you have ample opportunities to celebrate your mother's life in the days and weeks ahead.

Posted by: Scottynuke | September 19, 2007 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Oh, how soon we forget... Back in 2000, the reason George Bush beat Alan Gore was becasue of the Clinton escapades. Remeber the missing files, the insider trading, the corporate ties, the dirty money and money laundering, Hillary's miraclous $100,000 cattle futures investment,"those" women, Vince Foster, Hillary's health care task force soley composed of health industry insiders (not much different Dick Cheney's enery tasl force) and lots and lots more? The fact is, the Bush Administration has been so awful, it has been used to white wash the more disgusting aspects of the Clinton years. Hillary Clinton is a corporate and politcial insider. Basicly Bush in drag. She may be elected President, but I predict such an event will make people pine for the good old days of the Bush Presidency.

There are a lot better choice out there for President than Clinton. Edwards and Obama appear to actually care about people. Mr. Paul and Thompson appear to be honest, decent men, more interested in serving the nation than in feathering their beds. The Clinton's are, and always have been, money grubbing opportunists and outright crooks. You can call that Hillary bashing if you like, but this Democrat wont vote for her.

Posted by: Mike Brooks | September 19, 2007 3:42 PM | Report abuse

My condolences, LindaLoo. My mother is 93 also, and her day is drawing nearer.

Posted by: LTL-CA | September 19, 2007 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Linda Loomis: My sincere sympathy on your loss. It is always so difficult to lose a parent. I know, having lost both of mine. Some part of you never completely lets go of them but it eases over time.

"Marghtooni": Glad ye are back and on such a fine, sunny day. Catharsis is fine; be ye of good cheer. Lots of uz mateys use the grog--but it can make us too "groggy!" Don't count the days--or it'll put you in a daze. As one of the earlier boodlers said--seize the day, or even just the moment and enjoy the NOW.

Climb up to the crow's nest and breathe in the bracin', salty air. Aye, that's the trick. Keep the blighted, bleedin' monsters of the deep mind sea past far, far away. Ye've overcum them--ahha!

Posted by: aroc | September 19, 2007 3:49 PM | Report abuse

John McCain: "I think it willingly suspends disbelief to not repudiate an advertisement run by a radical left wing organization that impugns and dishonors the integrity of a man who has served his nation with dedication all of his life. If you're not tough enough to repudiate a scurrilous, outrageous attack such as that, then I don't know how you're tough enough to be President of the United States."
.
This from a guy who claims all Democrats want our military to lay down their weapons and offer themselves as prisoners to the enemy in Iraq. Perhaps McCain isn't tough enough to tell the truth.
.
Loomis - My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: CowTown | September 19, 2007 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Linda, my condolences to you and your family.

Posted by: ac in sj | September 19, 2007 3:58 PM | Report abuse

My condolences, Loomis.

Posted by: Dooley | September 19, 2007 4:02 PM | Report abuse

Why, thanks so very much, Shrieking Denizen.

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 4:15 PM | Report abuse

One of the many emails I get from the Edwards campaign claims that the Republican strategy is to loudly criticize the candidate they WANT to run against, causing the Democratic party to rally around that person.

It does make sense, considering the candidate we Dems got stuck with last time. Here's the bulk of that email...

=====

To: Interested Parties
From: Joe Trippi
Re: Karl Rove's Worst Nightmare

You may have seen Karl Rove's recent attacks on Hillary Clinton in the news.

This is a page straight out of his tired old playbook--Rove is attacking Hillary Clinton because he doesn't want John Edwards to win the Democratic nomination.

Rove knows that Democrats will rally around whomever he attacks--so he attacks the candidate he thinks Republicans can most easily defeat.

It may seem backwards, but Rove and his cronies did the same thing last time around. In 2004, they were scared of John Edwards, so they attacked John Kerry.

Don't take it from me--take it from Rove's own lieutenant on the Bush-Cheney 2004 reelection campaign, Matthew Dowd:

"Whomever we attacked was going to be emboldened in Democratic primary voters' minds. So we started attacking John Kerry a lot in the end of January because we were very worried about John Edwards." [Los Angeles Times, 8/19/07]

Rove and the Republicans want our opponents to win--because they know John will be the strongest candidate in the general election.

====

Posted by: TBG | September 19, 2007 4:15 PM | Report abuse

Gosh, not only is it talk like a pirate day, but it is also the 26th wedding anniversary of Himself and myself. I suppose I might want to pick up something extra-good for supper tonight.

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 4:17 PM | Report abuse

I add my own condolences to the list, Linda.

I am truly befuddled (can that word be translated into pirate-speak?) that one must apologize for the acts of independent third parties.

But, okay, I'm really, *really* sorry that Wal-Mart continues to exploit its workers. I'm really, *really* sorry that Al Capone murdered all those people (and I'm not even Italian, but, geez, who knows when my target sign comes up). And I'm really, *really* sorry that John McCain has so integrated himself with the Stockholm Syndrome that he cannot see that he is being exploited by his own third parties himself. He just identifies with them (witness the 2000 SC primary where he was Rove-f***ed and ended up supporting the Bush ticket in 2004) and then tries to emulate them, perhaps thinking that it makes him more invisible and not vulnerable to further attack.

Hmmm, what else should I apologize for? Well, certainly the fact that my beloved Detroit Tigers have no tigers left in their tank and in all likelihood will not even make the playoffs this year (although my Lions are 2-0 (who knew???)).

I'm already breathless from these apologies, so I'll leave it to others to carry on without me, while I gather more stuff to apologize for. Say, how about all them white folks (Pat Buchanan's beloved "Europeans") who massacred all them native 'mericans in the entitlement laden manifest destiny push to the left coast?

*geez* *sigh*

Posted by: firsttimeblogger | September 19, 2007 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Take a snow day and go home and enjoy your evening. Congrats and Happy Anniversary.

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 4:20 PM | Report abuse

Linda, my deepest sympathies. To sea sounds lovely. As if she will go on and on and travel all the places she never could before. Our shoulders are here to lean on, should you need a place to rest.

Posted by: dr | September 19, 2007 4:20 PM | Report abuse

I also meant to add to Yoki that I was *dreaming* of snow storms during our +40C degree heat during the summer. Enjoy it before you dream in the opposite direction.

And Happy Anniversary. Nuttin' to apologize there.

BTW, TBG, I really like Edwards and I voted for him in the Maryland primary during the last go-round. I'll probably do the same this time. I do like him. And not just because he's superb eye-candy (but, um, it helps, even to an old f**t like me). He's a good guy and I like his proposals. I like Elizabeth, too.

Posted by: firsttimeblogger | September 19, 2007 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, snow?

(pauses, leaves keyboard)

I am not so crass as to use a fan to keep it down in your neck of the woods. I like to do things the old fashioned way. I made a paper fan, and stood outside the back door. I'm very tired now. Being a human fan is hard work.

Congratulations on your anniversay!

Posted by: dr | September 19, 2007 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Now that I've had a chance to do a little backboodling (and still not done) I want to say to LindaLoo, if you're still here, that I'm sorry about your mom.

Do what makes you feel better. You'll never feel entirely the same. No matter how you may have felt about your mother, you will continue to define your life from now on as "after my mother died."

Posted by: TBG | September 19, 2007 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Congratulations, yoki, on your snow and on your anniversary. It rained hard this morning but is now sunny and humid. I'm hoping the sun dried things out so I can go home and -- you guessed it -- mow. One hour a day for four days should get the dog yard done, except for the impenetrable brush thicket. I'm not going in there with a push mower. Even the dogs don't go in there.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 4:35 PM | Report abuse

My sincere condolences to you, LindaLoo. May you find comfort in the long memories past.

Posted by: ebtnut | September 19, 2007 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Linda, you are in my thoughts. Peace be with your mother and your family.

Martooni, I was starting to worry about you. Glad to hear that you've started a recovery process. May you be successful!

Posted by: Slyness | September 19, 2007 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Brooks--Why do you call yourself a Democrat. And pray do you have the stones to elucidate you listing of "Vince Foster". Of course, you no doubt believe that Weapons of Mass Destruction existed, Sadaam wasin cahoots with Bin Laden, etc. etc. Oh well, Zeb Miller called himself a Democrat, long after he should'nt.

Posted by: A Hardwick | September 19, 2007 4:51 PM | Report abuse

I'm sorry for your loss Linda.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 5:33 PM | Report abuse

Billary is a closet Socialist who wants to control every aspect of your life. And we're not supposed to be critical?

Posted by: muskrat | September 19, 2007 5:44 PM | Report abuse

Mike Brooks, vote how you wish, but Clinton cut the deficit and ran the LEAST corrupt administration in decades. If they were money-grubbing crooks, they wouldn't have employed such financial prudence.

You can argue that Clinton had a republican congress, but you're forgetting "Contract ON America", and that Bush had a republican congress in which to run up the deficit with. (Ditto for Reagan).

Get your other facts right. You're right on one fact: the Bush years make the Clinton years look really good. But they already looked good the minute Bush was elected-- to this democrat anyway.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 5:59 PM | Report abuse

muskrat;

You're a dear and we really worry about you, so do us a favor and don't go crossing an intellectual street without holding somebody's hand, OK?

It's perfectly fine to criticize Hillary for being a closet socialist; you can have a dandy argument with those who thinks she is deeply tied to various corporate interests (and you don't try to convince and Europeans she is a socialist - they know what a real socialist looks like).

But - should I ding Hillary for not disavowing the statements of Larry Craig? Attacking her for what MoveOn said makes just about as much sense.

What politician's statements have you disavowed today?

Posted by: Long John Craig | September 19, 2007 6:06 PM | Report abuse

Excuse me. I be forgettin' which day this is.

Scurvy dog! you'll walk t' plank for such slander! Why, Cap'n Clinton were runnin' a tight ship 'fore that bilge rat Bush came on board and hornpiped t' whole rat swarm into t' hold for a grand grog 'n' hardtack party.

Now, that scurvy dog's raised his cutlass and cried war! and then raided half o' t' treasury and emptied it into davy jones' locker.

Nobody has t' like t' cap'n, but as long as nobody's cuttin' throats on aboard, he stands his post.

Do ye ahoy, boy? An not, ye know where the plank is.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 6:09 PM | Report abuse

Arrrr, snowshoes make a fine anniversary present if I'm not mistaken.
I had th' launch hauled to th' yard to caulk th' transmission leak. Can you beleive the dirty lubbers were baffled by me pirate lingo? Bilge rats all, I returned their blank stare wit' my most viscous glare an turned their bowels to water. My vessel wi' be ready on the morrow.
As th' sun was warm and the breezes moderate so I heaved to on a patio beside the World Famous Rideau canal and ordered meself a repast o' Tennesee BB'Q Chicken 'n Ribs. Because I was travelling by water taxi and didn't have to pilot meself I commanded the serving wench to keep the grog coming.
Th' service is much better when th' crew of the inn believe you to be mad.

Muskrat (a fine moniker). You wouldn't know a socialist if he was chewing on yer hindquarters.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 6:09 PM | Report abuse

Linda, I am very sorry about your mother.

Martooni, good to hear from you, I was wondering what was happening. Take care of yourself.

Between the talented pirate talkers here, and the emails I kept receiving from "S" when he realized what day it was, (he's quite good at pirate talk) I've been smiling a whole lot today.

Posted by: Bad Sneakers | September 19, 2007 6:17 PM | Report abuse

Let me pile on to muskrat, too.

If you are so concerned about someone in power controlling every aspect of your life, you might want to look at the Christian (so-called) fundamentalists. They've already infiltrated the Defense Department and, at the very least, the Air Force Academy. They've exhibited a whole lot of interest in what goes on in my bedroom (and even, perhaps, the floor right in front of the fireplace -- but maybe not, because they don't strike me as being terribly innovative) and in your bedroom, too (should you have one).

I've lived in Europe -- and in a socialist country to boot. I suspect that Hillary (or "Billary" as you call her) wouldn't come close to what I experienced. As Wilbrod so astutely brought up, Europeans -- especially those whose countries have "socialist" programs in one form or another and to one degree or another -- would give a mighty snort to your obvious fearful trepidation.

Although I will admit that I haven't yet completely read this morning's paper, it's still a democracy here (note the small "d"), although much more diminished than it existed under Bill Clinton's term.

Come back with facts to support your assertions (and don't forget your training wheels).

Posted by: firsttimeblogger | September 19, 2007 6:21 PM | Report abuse

Don't waste yer sympathy on t' Bonny Yoki. T' odd snow squall in September be more than balanced by t' tropical chinook winds Calgary enjoys in winter's depths.
I laugh at yer snow. Haw!

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 6:26 PM | Report abuse

Sneaks, I have visions of sweet talk, pirate style!

Muskrat, closet socialist or no (and it would be unseemly of me to judge) the differences between affordable health care in your nation is distressing. Whatever else she may or may not be, Ms. Clinton is honourable that she tried and may continue to try to improve that situation.

Dolphin Micheal (an any other knowledgable people), if you are out there, how long has this sub prime mortgage problem been brewing? When did they start issuing them?

Posted by: dr | September 19, 2007 6:30 PM | Report abuse

Loomis, sorry about your mom. Take whatever you need.

Martooni, was wondering what happened to you. I'm glad you're getting a new avenue of treatment that helps with the underlying problems.

I was dreading the thought you might have wound up back in rehab and basically be told to go home and drink no more yet again.



Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 6:31 PM | Report abuse

Happy Anniversary, Yoki. Don't forget that the first snowball of the season should always be heaved toward someone's head, just for GP's.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 6:51 PM | Report abuse

Thanks all. Jack, I prefer to save the first snowball of each season in the deep freeze. It becomes too lethally icy for throwing, of course, by May. But one of Yeoman's favourite games to chase snowballs in the snow ("where the heck did it land?!") so when very last patch of rotten snow disappears from the yard in late May/early June, I take out the ice ball and throw it for him on the grass. At last! He can catch it and chew it up.

Dinner tonight:

flambed scallops on lightly dressed organic baby greens

lime sorbet

rack of lamb, roast asparagus and risotto milanese

cheese plate

fresh fruit and Bernard Callebaut cognac truffles

who knows?

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 7:01 PM | Report abuse

Sha na na na, sha na na na na,
Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip
Mum mum mum mum mum mum
Get a job

Arrr.

Posted by: Jumper | September 19, 2007 7:14 PM | Report abuse

dr - I hope you never need surgery in Canada, which has a health care system Billary adores. As the Canucks love to say, "we love our wonderful health care system. But God forbid anyone ever has to use it". Keep something in mind dr, when you start hearing the word "MANDATORY" being tossed around, you'd better count the spoons. It usually means the jackboots aren't far behind - and this time they could be led by Billary.

Posted by: muskrat | September 19, 2007 7:27 PM | Report abuse

Nicholas Wade of The New York Times has an article on the connection between natural selection and morality, and manages to report the issue without even mentioning Robert Wright (I guess Bob better publish another book if he wants the respect he is due). The article does quote Steven Pinker, though.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/18/science/18mora.html?ei=5087%0A&em=&en=6df574f0948f0c22&ex=1190347200&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1190244332-xU2Y5gBisAW/ftgqkQWOgw

And, there's a morality survey you can take, if you have a couple of hours to kill: http://www.yourmorals.org/
It tries to quantify the correlation between political leanings and your style of morality.

Posted by: kbertocci | September 19, 2007 7:37 PM | Report abuse

Oh! dr, dmd, boko, shrieking, kerric, byoolin, SoC, Miss Toronto (I think also aroc and some lurkers from the horrid Mommy-blog like ArmyBrat, etc.) who knew?!

I'm *delighted* by this completely uninformed and tightly-framed (yet rabid) muskrat love.

Such fun! What larks!

Posted by: Yoki | September 19, 2007 7:43 PM | Report abuse

Good evening boodle
I've been taking a class for the past couple of days and have been unable to boodle.I'm finally home and there is just too much to catch up on.

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

Sorry I missed the pirate day thingy,man just reading everything has cracked me up to no end. I always did like saying Arggggggg!!!

Posted by: greenwithenvy | September 19, 2007 7:45 PM | Report abuse

I rrrefuse t' plunderrr that tharrrsurrrvey on th' grrrounds me morrrality be nobody's business. I also plead th' fifth, and a bottle of rum! Anyhow, how in th' salty sea do ye be knowin' such data is nay charrrtin' a courrrse strrraight into the hands of those scurrrvy conserrrvative dogs?

I suspect that tharrrt scurrvy dogs be doomed t' get a bias'd poll.


Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 7:48 PM | Report abuse

Muskrat, have you required surgery here? You would be surprised by what you would find, there are problems in the system to be sure, but in emergencies the system is top notch, and even in non-emergencies as have many members of my family.

I have had several surgeries here and was taken care of in a time and first rate manner.

Posted by: dmd | September 19, 2007 7:48 PM | Report abuse

Aaarrrgh! Umbrage, umbrage! Don't ever use my name with boot again. You'd do well to mind your manners, muskrat. Take a powder. I think you must be a fan of the current administration that has little regard for the Constitution, specifically the articles that spell out separation of powers and those pertaining to civil liberty. The last time I checked, democracies such as ours were rather transparent with respect to providing information that is requested by subpoena and congressional testimony.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 7:54 PM | Report abuse

Aye, nobody be bleedin' in th' rrriverrrs up in canuckstan, Ferrr one thin', e'errrybody knows blood instantly congeals in minus 40 degrrrees C, even afterrr a bottle of rum!

And therrre's th' plain fact that any scurrrvy dogs they won't treat, well, they jus' scuttle off with'em t' feed t' th' wolves, and then hoist a bottle of rum after!

Canada be as tough as shoe leath'rrr, and breeds tougherrr scallywags.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 7:57 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, if I repent of my eastern Canukian delight in imagining you up to your mukluks in snow will you fax me some leftovers?
Himself is a lucky swabbie.

Can I play with the troll if I promise not touch it?

Nah, too boring.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 8:03 PM | Report abuse

Will any of you bilge rats be telling me that they don't actually feed real dogs to wolves in Canada?

Wilbrod? WILBROD????!! I'm gonna give myself ulcerrrs now whenever I hear a howl.


Posted by: Wilbrodog | September 19, 2007 8:06 PM | Report abuse

Ya! Everyone knows jack wears sturdy yet tasteful laceups. And spats.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 8:06 PM | Report abuse

I think Muskrrat doesn't know Jack.

Posted by: Wilbrodog | September 19, 2007 8:29 PM | Report abuse

Many of the conservatives I know are eager to jump into the latest round of Hillary bashing because it so neatly fits their preconceived notion of her as a closet radical lefty. Many of them base this opinion, more or less in its entirety, upon her book "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child." For in their world view, this innocuous assertion is pretty much equivalent to the statement that "We in the Government Are Going to Force You To Raise Your Children to be Good Little Socialists Whether You Like It Or Not."

I wish I were kidding about this.


Posted by: RD Padouk | September 19, 2007 8:56 PM | Report abuse

My sympathies to you and your family as well, Linda. Take care.

Posted by: pj | September 19, 2007 9:00 PM | Report abuse

My sister would probably support mandatory health care. She keeps bugging me to get a checkup.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 9:09 PM | Report abuse

The ironic thing is, if the book was titled "It takes a Church to Raise a Child" they'd probably love that book no end. In a way, for most fundamentalists, the church is THEIR village.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 9:12 PM | Report abuse

Linda, my condolences.

Posted by: dbG | September 19, 2007 9:19 PM | Report abuse

I have finished mowing at least until the weekend. Four hours and the dog yard is done, including the outskirts of the impenetrable brush pile. Too bad I can't have some of that nice Canadian health care; guess I'll have to settle for a glass of wine and a Naproxen. Poor troll.

The Boy told his science teacher today was Talk Like a Pirate Day and the response was, "Not in my class!"

Between dinner and dishes, but after dog feeding tonight, the Boy showed me how to parry with staffs. A very useful skill for the courtroom, no doubt.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 9:19 PM | Report abuse

I am "helping" the Boy with his Lord of the Rings Chapter 4 crossword; this means I sit here and occasionally read out the definitions while he figures it out. He often asks what the answer is and we both laugh gaily. I suppose I am flattered that he likes to have me around while he does these things. Perhaps this compares to RD's rabbits, only without the peacefulness.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 9:25 PM | Report abuse

Yoki,

Happy anniversary!! That sounds like a great dinner. Even 'Mudge should be impressed. I hope you enjoyed it.

From the last boodle, you mentioned reading Michael Palin's just published diaries. Did you see the excellent review in last Sunday's Post?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/13/AR2007091302038.html

(Notice that the spelled Cleese's name as Cheese one time.)

Posted by: pj | September 19, 2007 9:29 PM | Report abuse

Ivansmom, Actually, right now the rabbits are displeased with me because I have dared to clean their palatial habitat. Much foot thumping. But they will soon settle down. For I have raisins.

And I can't wait to read Palin's diaries. Has anyone else seen his BBC series "Around the World in 80 Days"? I felt it really displayed his intellectual depth.

Posted by: RD Padouk | September 19, 2007 9:40 PM | Report abuse

RD, I was just telling Wilbrodog last night a story about The Man in The Basement With the Rabbit Friends... he was appreciative.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 9:43 PM | Report abuse

At Son of D's request, we're watching "The Princess Bride" in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Arrrr!

Posted by: Dooley | September 19, 2007 9:49 PM | Report abuse

Yep, we all need our little retreats. For me it is a converted playroom with a pair of psychotic rabbits, a comfy beanbag chair, a most excellent book, and a decent wireless signal.

Posted by: RD Padouk | September 19, 2007 9:50 PM | Report abuse

Dooley! Most excellent choice! 'twas one of the very first movies my wife and I ever saw together. And I've read the book twice.

Dread Pirate Roberts, like, totally rocks.

Posted by: RD Padouk | September 19, 2007 9:52 PM | Report abuse

I've made a boodle blog thing! argh! Hi peoples, it's nice to finnally have a boodle thingy... argh!

Posted by: The Boy | September 19, 2007 9:55 PM | Report abuse

Aaarrgh Matey!

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 9:59 PM | Report abuse

Good to see you good sir "The Boy!" You make a most excellent pirate. I'm sure your mother is very proud.

Posted by: RD Padouk | September 19, 2007 9:59 PM | Report abuse

I remember the princess Bride, I saw it when I was five. I remember last time I saw it was when I was eight. I need to watch it again lol!

[Ivansmom here - sorry, but the Boy has his own handle now. I love The Princess Bride; I first saw it at the theater in Cleveland Park in DC with the balcony. Ah, memories. . . . you keep saying that word. Swords and Wallace Shawn too - who could ask for more?]

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:00 PM | Report abuse

Sorry - that last post was from The Boy, but the name didn't show up. Bad computer.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 10:02 PM | Report abuse

The name didn't show up?

InconCEIVable!

Posted by: Dooley | September 19, 2007 10:05 PM | Report abuse

RD, I am proud indeed, though in a slightly dubious way. I guess since he plays World of Warcraft he already has Internet friends; it is time he graduates to imaginary friends.

It is also close to bedtime. We're reading "The Forgotten Door" by I forget who - does anyone else remember this story of a boy from another planet who fell through a door to Earth? I loved it when I was a kid.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 19, 2007 10:06 PM | Report abuse

I believe much of the attacking of Hillary is Briarpatch politics. She is the one the Republican Dirty Trix Squad would most like to face next fall. Hence, the villianization of her so that the Dems rally round.

And sorry, I just can't do a convincing fake pirate accent. ERrrrr! See?

Posted by: yellojkt | September 19, 2007 10:06 PM | Report abuse

Thankyou, guys,mateys ,lets go with mateys for the warm welcome to the boodle. It makes me laugh seein' my mother say that I've 'een promoted to imaginary friends, not internet ones. Shiver Me Timbers! It's 9:10 I better get on my "shift" I'll see the whole lot of you politic-bags later! A
R
G
H
!

Posted by: The Boy | September 19, 2007 10:12 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, Happy Anniversary!

Posted by: rainforest | September 19, 2007 10:12 PM | Report abuse

Oh well the Argh was cooler when i typed it. Drumroll please introducing ivansmom!

Ivansmom here - arrgh indeed. Vaya con queso and fondue to you.

Posted by: The Boy | September 19, 2007 10:14 PM | Report abuse

I gave up World of Warcraft 'cause my nephew always kicks my butt. I'm still waiting for him to beat me at Empire Earth.
We're pretty even playing Halo2.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 10:14 PM | Report abuse

My condolences, Loomis.

Posted by: rainforest | September 19, 2007 10:15 PM | Report abuse

Whew! I had to check my undies to be sure I wasn't wearing lacecups.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:25 PM | Report abuse

Duh. *laceups* Ok. Really. I'm Ok.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:28 PM | Report abuse

Even better now. The Cubs just went up 3-2 and Pie's on first. Oooh! Oooh! Pie stole second. 2 out. Ramirez steps into the box, slaps a grounder to third and with an easy toss across he diamond, the Cubs are retired in the bottom of the eighth. Shiver me timbers and shake me bones.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:34 PM | Report abuse

Cubs win! Cubs win! Go 'Stros Go 'Stros Go 'Stros

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:42 PM | Report abuse

*having a grand time talking to myself*

So I said to my self, self, how does it feel to be rooting for an underdog that hasn't won a World Series for at least 10 millenia? Pretty darn good, except you misspelled millennia, you moron.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:45 PM | Report abuse

At least that was better than misspelling laceups. That one gave me an indeliable image (wonder though if it could start a new fashion trend... doubt it, that stuff is ITCHY).

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 10:47 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Wilbrod. Laceups are much less so, unless you don't change socks for a week or so and cause an accumulation of toe cheese. THAT can make you want to itch your toes. Of course, you have to autoclave your hands afterwards.

Posted by: jack | September 19, 2007 10:58 PM | Report abuse

I'll take your word for it, Jack.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 11:05 PM | Report abuse

My family has LOVED Michael Palin's Around the World in 80 Days, Pole to Pole and the one about circling the entire Pacific (don't remember what that one was called and a quick google doesn't show it). The kids learned an incredible amount of stuff watching those shows.

Who am I kidding? I learned an incredible amount.

We also love the Lonely Planet (or sometimes called Globe Trekker) episodes with Ian Wright as the host. He's got the same sense of curiosity mixed with goofiness that makes it educational and entertaining at the same time.


Posted by: TBG | September 19, 2007 11:09 PM | Report abuse

quote from some chap early on..
"Clinton cut the deficit and ran the LEAST corrupt administration in decades."

???

I guess it would depend on who you asked. The couples former business partners that mysteriously ended up dead? Perhaps the villages that the Mr. bombed on impeachment day....

QUESTION!!!

Does everyone know each other? Did I stick my big blog where it doesn't belong?

My opinion of differing political parties: The two party system just keeps these insane people from ruling us too long. Keep getting a new one, we, optimists that we are, think they are there for something besides demi-gog-arey and a lovely retirment benefit. (its too late for spell check, sorry) Neither dems no repubs have any answers to what ails us.

my contribution to the random aspect - I think it's time to cut my toenails. How about "ya'll"?

Posted by: SnottyNozeBratt | September 19, 2007 11:11 PM | Report abuse

Arrr, I nearlee missed the pirate day.

Slyness, I be later than peg-leg getting back from shore leave to answer your question about scurvy lawsuits of a couple of days ago. The saying among lawyers, adapted for pirate talk, is that all you need to file a writ is three pence and a writing stick. Now, getting your writ into the sheriff's satchel, there be a whole different story.

And arrr, speaking of scurvy, I see that this here boodle had an infestation of rodents. Among us pirates, we say that if you're going to tell tall tales about what lies yonder, make sure your shipmates ain't from yonder. We also have a saying that you can't see past the mizzen mast when you've got your head up your, well, sometimes we pirates talk too much.

Posted by: SonofCarl | September 19, 2007 11:12 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to yellojkt!

did you mean walking into a joint with an altman/python showing...

or walking into a altman/python with a joint?

either way does seem appropiate. Been a long time since I participated in such an enjoyable and fun radom conversation. Wish I could stay and play.

my step-mom passed too, and I'm leaving on a jet plane.

sorry about the offensive caps. Didn't realize people still took them personally. :o)

perhaps someone has that person's number I could fax a toddy, or perhaps a margie. ?

perhaps you'll note from the moniker, I do sort of enjoy raking up the muck on occasion. Nothing I say should ever be taken seriously.

Posted by: SnottyNozeBratt | September 19, 2007 11:20 PM | Report abuse

"Nothing I say should ever be taken seriously."

No worries, SNB.

Do we know each other? You mean you don't know everyone on all the blogs you read? Goodness me.

Posted by: TBG | September 19, 2007 11:28 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry SNB, we don't.

bc

Posted by: bc | September 19, 2007 11:29 PM | Report abuse

Ask the GAO, Snottynozebratt.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 11:40 PM | Report abuse

The thing around here, is that most of us actually research our facts a little before making wild hate attacks. And if they fail to do so, they get called on it.

It's called intelligent discourse. Trolls are not particularly welcome here.

Posted by: Wilbrod | September 19, 2007 11:42 PM | Report abuse

well, I do hate the media for their social engineering.

What's the fun in talking with people who always agree with you, Wilbrod? That seems like an unresearched "fact".

Posted by: SnottyNoseBratt | September 19, 2007 11:50 PM | Report abuse

The US/NATO intervention in Kosovo averted a genocide, so disparaging their efforts ticks me off. Canadians, Americans, and others died there saving lives.
Only an incredibly stupid person would believe the Clintons had anything to do with murdering anyone.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 19, 2007 11:59 PM | Report abuse

yes, snb, people here know each other pretty well. there are many points of view, but we prefer civil discourse. there are plenty of places on the internet where you can go if you like pissing matches. if that's what you're after, you might enjoy the wapo blog called "on balance."

Posted by: L.A. lurker | September 20, 2007 12:11 AM | Report abuse

A Hardwick and similar posters are typical of the rabid Hillary mob. If you're a self identified Democrat and you point out that Hillary Clinton is an awful choice for President and also point out that Bill Clinton was none too clean, either, then you have somehow surrendered your Democratic credentials. Well, as a Native American, this Indian has left the reservation guys! Not only am I a Democrat, I'm one of those people who mans telephone banks, knocks on doors, puts up signs, donates money, write letter, and does the footwork necessary for any candidate to be elected. I have done in each election, as a Democratic worker, since 1968. Not this year. How can you support a candidate that accepts money, huge amounts of money, *most* of her campaign cash and a very large part of her (and his) personal wealth, from companies that aid in outsourcing jobs, recruit foreign guest workers, arrange H1-B visas to take job from Amercian workers. How can you support a candidate that was called "the Senator From India" in a meeting LAST YEAR by an Indian government official. Except for the limited support she gets from some public employee "unions" and "unions" advocating for illegal immigrants, she has no genuine labor support. So, you choose. Stand up and proudly proclaim that you are antilabor, antiworker, pro-tax-increase-to-prvide-benefits-for-public-employee (benefits that no private sector worker can ever hope for). Be honest, go with that and we'll see how far you can get with voters. If voters truly understood what a disaster in waiting Hillary Clinton is, she would be retired from political life com the very next opportunity..

Posted by: Mike Brooks | September 20, 2007 12:20 AM | Report abuse

And, I would add that it is also wisest to check the reliablity of your sources and apply critical analysis as to the reliablity and the "hardness" of the facts being presented.

A basic understanding of how statistics can be manipulated dishonestly is always helpful. As Mark Twain said, there are lies, damn'd lies, and statistics.

I found an interesting analysis of a particular statistical lie here.

http://brooklynite.livejournal.com/114067.html

As for least corrupt administration, that is very simple. "Administration" includes cabinet and all other appointed people.

Political corruption definition can be read here: it includes neopotism, cronyism, patronage to special interests, etc.

Clinton did not practice neopotism nor cronyism by hiring daddy's friends, or having daddy's friend be his vice president, nor his good college buddy the horse fancier as the head of FEMA or his personal lawyer as a US Supreme court justice.

He chose people who were smart, talented, and QUALIFIED.

You never heard about "Good job, Brownie!" and keep in mind, there was hurricane Hugo and Andrew and the Mississippi floods during his administration.

During his administration, a plane hit the white house. (Remember?) Al Gore did NOT get moved to a undisclosed location afterwards.

The Clintons themselves aside, none of his administration officals have been, as far as I know, had the level of troubles the Bush administration officials have had. See, he picked smart, honest people who were committed to helping the country.

Even in work ethic, Clinton comes out way ahead.

Clinton also was infamous for being a workaholic. As of December 1999, President Bill Clinton had spent only 152 days on holiday during his two terms.

W, on the other hand, has taken 418 vacation days so far.

http://www.americablog.com/2007/08/its-hard-work-bush-has-taken-418.html

There is no basis to even plausibly show that Clinton engaged in more or tolerated more political corruption in his administration than in this administration.

And there is plenty evidence to indicate this present administration could well be judged by historians as the MOST corrupt administration since the Harding Administration.




Posted by: Wilbrod | September 20, 2007 12:25 AM | Report abuse

Joel, next time you advertise Hillary-Bashing Tryouts, maybe you SHOULD increase the font size on "HUMOR".

Mike Brooks-- when it comes to the national election, I very probably will vote for the Democrat unless the Republican talks like he's a member of a completely different party than the current Republican party-- and actually sounds sane, too.

Thank you for working hard to be sure that we deliver to the country the best democratic nominee possible.

I believe that Hillary is unlikely to win. But she has the right to run. Why don't you support the other candidates?


Posted by: Wilbrod | September 20, 2007 12:35 AM | Report abuse

I find Hillary to be America's most inspiring woman. It bothers me that if you had of said some of the trash that gets levelled at HRC to say Laura Bush or Nancy Reagan, you would be called all the names under the sun. The Republicans certainly are smarter about issues of National Security, taxes and social issues, but when they get into the politics of personal distruction I know why they are no longer the Grand Old Party.

Posted by: Nathan | September 20, 2007 2:36 AM | Report abuse

I find Hillary to be America's most inspiring woman. It bothers me that if you had of said some of the trash that gets levelled at HRC to say Laura Bush or Nancy Reagan, you would be called all the names under the sun. The Republicans certainly are smarter about issues of National Security, taxes and social issues, but when they get into the politics of personal distruction I know why they are no longer the Grand Old Party.

Posted by: Nathan | September 20, 2007 2:36 AM | Report abuse

Arrr...

Oh, waitaminit.

*cleaning all the eyepatches and peglegs out of the bunker*

:-)

*normal and almost-TGIF Grover waves*

Posted by: Scottynuke | September 20, 2007 5:17 AM | Report abuse

'Morning, Scotty, Boodle. I'm thinkin' we better leave the bunker open again today, just in case. The home page alert has been removed, but given the sensitivity of the topic, ya never know.

*sigh* The opinion page promos feature Novak and Will (enough to sour my morning right there) and Broder's column is about Gingrich. ANd it may be sadder still that a story like this is buried way down in the "Nation" section:

Bush Calls for Expansion of Spy Law

By DEB RIECHMANN
The Associated Press
Thursday, September 20, 2007; 1:31 AM

FORT MEADE, Md. -- President Bush said Wednesday he wants Congress to expand and make permanent a law that temporarily gives the government more power to eavesdrop without warrants on suspected foreign terrorists.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/19/AR2007091901022.html?hpid=sec-nation

He wants to make it permanent. Jeez.

Maybe the Post will run its own story later today and put it up top where it belongs. And the 56-44 vote (60 needed) on troop leave explains quite clearly why "nothing" can be done to reverse the Iraq war. The votes just aren't there. So we're stuck for the next 15 months, as I keep saying.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 20, 2007 6:15 AM | Report abuse

Is Pirate Day over? That sure was tiring. All that pillaging and raiding and rumming. It may have only been TALK Like A Pirate Day, but I'm a method actor.

btw, Nancy Reagan was badly mocked in her day. I remember soliciting contributions to buy her a really nice set of Chinette plates instead of the gaudy dishes she got big campaign contributors to donate.

But stay away from Laura. She is my sweetheart. Any librarian that can look that hot is fine in my book. It's just a shame she has such bad taste in boys.

Heading down to the bunker for some Eggs Benedict Salsa.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 6:36 AM | Report abuse

*cough, cough* Wilbrod, in the name of accuracy, let me say that Hurricane Hugo was in September 1989, which would have been in Bush I's term. It hit here September 22, 1989, to be exact. I remember it well...

Morning, everybody!

Posted by: Slyness | September 20, 2007 7:20 AM | Report abuse

Interesting piece on Mount Vernon by Annie Gowen:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/19/AR2007091902464.html?hpid=topnews

'Working off such historical evidence as a faded 1908 photograph of a decaying outbuilding, Mount Vernon officials had one of Washington's slaves, a woman named Silla, in mind when they created the cabin. Silla, a mother of six, was married to a slave named Slammin' Joe, who worked at the mansion.

'Their story had a tragic ending after Washington's death. Silla and the children were freed, but Joe belonged to the estate of Washington's wife. He was sold, and his family split up.'

I would love to find out what happened to Slammin' Joe after he was sold. To whom? Where? I've talked to Pogue about this but there's so little data.


Posted by: Achenbach | September 20, 2007 7:22 AM | Report abuse

Some excellent reporting here on Blackwater in Iraq:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/19/AR2007091902503.html?hpid=topnews

Posted by: Achenbach | September 20, 2007 8:06 AM | Report abuse

If only Warren Zevon were still around. The mileage he could get out of Blackwater alone would be fantastic.

Roland must be having a great time in Anbar.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 8:13 AM | Report abuse

Blackwater in naval terms means the liquid/solid mixture coming out of toilets and urinals, as opposed to greywater coming from sinks, bathtubs and showers. I suspect Blackwater USA Inc. founders were not Navy men.

Yoki, I was just giddy from this exceptional weather. But as you know, we'll eventually pay for it. we always do.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 20, 2007 8:17 AM | Report abuse

I have to go to work so don't have time to research, but I seem to remember that Blackwater is owned by someone with ties to the White House. If so, it would certainly explain their 'special' status.

Posted by: Bad Sneakers | September 20, 2007 8:20 AM | Report abuse

I don't imagine it ever occurred to Blackwater that keeping a low profile and engendering positive relations can actually HELP keep their clients safe?

*SIGH*

Posted by: Scottynuke | September 20, 2007 8:25 AM | Report abuse

The entire Blackwater affair is a shining example of the administration's attempt to make something as serious as a war operable by using the minimum amount of resources available.

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 8:36 AM | Report abuse

This story about forensics is amazing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/19/AR2007091902409.html?hpid=topnews

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 8:46 AM | Report abuse

This is the only Blackwater I want to hear about.

http://www.fws.gov/blackwater/

It is really a very nice area, it has been years since I have been there,but what a nice day trip or weekend getaway!!

Posted by: greenwithenvy | September 20, 2007 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Personally, I think that the Hillary-bashing might simply be from folks who know that bowhunting season for white-tail deer has started all over the US, and are frustrated that they can't use their guns until later in the Fall.

Talk Like a Pirate Day is over, but today is the 60th anniversary of the CIA, and I heard that they've acquired an A-12 spy aircraft for display. I'd love to have one myself, but I'd really need a Venti Garage Mahal for that one. A McGarage Mahal, Super-Size it?

Re. Blackwater, seems to me that it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. *Now* what does the Administracion Arbusto do?

Being one to take an idea to its Outer Limits, one has to wonder if the WH is looking at Blackwater as a sort of litmus test of the idea that the current troop strengths in Iraq could be supplimented by, er, um, contractors doing the jobs of soldiers.

Further, one wonders how many folks who support the Administration in this war would be willing to go there as paid contractors in a Mother of All Surges tour de force, in an attempt to manifest the Democratic destiny GWB had envisioned for Iraq back in '03. I 'spect that some provision could be made for folks who'd want to bring their personal firearms and ammo to keep the costs down.

I wonder, even if it's not the most useful wondering I'll do today.

bc

Posted by: bc | September 20, 2007 9:02 AM | Report abuse

But GWE... what about this beautiful spot in your own west by God?

http://www.blackwaterfalls.com/

My husband and I traveled there one October several years ago. We arrived around midnight and checked into the lodge. When we awoke, we were amazed by the view and colors we had missed by driving through the dark--it was spectacular.

Posted by: TBG | September 20, 2007 9:06 AM | Report abuse

My condolences, Loomis.

Posted by: byoolin | September 20, 2007 9:08 AM | Report abuse

The WaPo article suggests there are about 20-50,000 security consultants in Iraq already. Blackwater's niche is State Department security. Seems like we are already outsourcing nearly one surge's worth of troops.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 9:08 AM | Report abuse

TBG, That is a Beautiful park as are most here in WV, I went there(Blackwaterfalls) in Winter and the ice from the falls was simply Gorgeous.

But I would love to take my kayaks down to Blackwater Wildlife area in MD and tool around all the little marshes and streams,maybe take a fishing pole too. I'm sure I could manage to get lost for a day or two, but that would probably be a good thing.

Posted by: greenwithenvy | September 20, 2007 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Shriek, One of the cofounders of Blackwater USA was a former Navy SEAL. The current president and many other business unit leaders are former SEALs.

Jack, minimum amount of resources. Most of their contracts are no bid. Also Blackwater was hired for Bremeres security detail for 11 months at a cost of $21 million.

Posted by: omni | September 20, 2007 9:34 AM | Report abuse

SCC: Bremer's.

no excuse. plenty of caffeine this AM. I guess I obviously need more.

Posted by: omni | September 20, 2007 9:38 AM | Report abuse

muskrat, I do hope you are still here. Yes I have had experience with surgery in Canada.

My dad injured a nerve in his spine 18 years ago, and because the little holes in his spine that nerves travel through were smaller than usual, the injury did not heal. He had surgery to enlarge the holes, 10 days in hospital. In 2000, he experienced severe angina for the first time in his life. He was in hospital for the day, while they thinned his blood so his heart was no longer under severe stress, and then performed an angiogram to see what the problem was. While having the angiogram, he suffered a couple of small tears to his veins. This happens sometimes, its not at all uncommon. What was uncommon, was that they had to thin his blood enough that those little tears meant he was bleeding to death internally. He had a vascular surgery of about 8 hours, to find and fix the teeny tiny tears. The condition that got him there was solved by a quadruple bypass about 3 weeks later. He is not overweight, 150 pounds I think was his upper limit in his youth, he is not a workaholic, he is not in a highly stressed job, he was a small farmer (ok some stress there about 1980-1990, but I digress).

At the end of that first back surgery, he came out of the hospital owing nothing. At the end of the second surgery he came out owing one damn fine nurse who noticed something funny was happening,and the entire surgical team his life, and after the last he owed no money.

So if you ask me would I rather have surgery in Canada or in the US, I have to say Canada, everytime. I pay taxes while I am healthy and reap the benefits when I can least afford the cost.

That is not to say there are not problems. There are. We can do better. In my deeply personal experience, the biggest problem in our health care system, is umm, your health care system.

There are only 2(possibly 3 now) cardiac surgeons in his city, serving half the province. Many doctors go south for the cash.

Now would you like me to tell you about my son and his surgeries?

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 9:44 AM | Report abuse

Slyness, Wilbrod may have mistyped 'Hugo'. Maybe she meant 'Floyd' (1999). Second largest evacuation in US history. A cost of about 4-6 billion dollars. Death toll 57, the worst since Agnes in '72. The biggest (and only IIRC) critic of FEMAs response was Al Sharpton. No surprise there.

Posted by: omni | September 20, 2007 9:45 AM | Report abuse

OK, this is fair warning. At 10:00AM EST, I will be dropping a "story bomb" into the Boodle. I actually started it last June or July, but I got to wrapped up in other things and couldn't get it finished. Suffice to say, the story takes place in the few weeks before Karl Rove announced his retirement.
.
Boss, if it's too big a bomb, you can take it out. I'll understand. Cheers, everyone.

Posted by: CowTown | September 20, 2007 9:49 AM | Report abuse

Good CowTown, it will be my lunchtime reading.

Omni, this is funny. SEALSs obviously know more about weaponry that ship systems. I can't believe they would knowingly call their security company Sanitary Sewer USA Inc.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 20, 2007 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Please note the above health care litany contains no umbrage, it is simply a clear list of events showing my deep and abiding love for Tommy Douglas, the founder of our health care system.

I honour Ms. Clinton for her healthcare proposals.

While there is no umbrage in the above litany, it entirely possible that there is a distinct lack of coffee. I've got to deal with that immediately.

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 9:55 AM | Report abuse

I misstated the resources angle of it, omni. $21M is big bucks. Wasting resources would seem more appropriate. I'd do well to drop to the twenty and punt. Continuing will only increase the probability that I'll continue to randomly bloviate. That's nearly as embarrassing as being randomly flatulent. Suffice it to say that the Blackwater folks are having a hard time playing consistently by what few rules constrain them.

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Here Goes

Posted by: CowTown | September 20, 2007 10:13 AM | Report abuse

The Lab

Part One

As the two men rode down in the elevator, Karl Rove thought about the forensics labs on the various "CSI" television shows. They are always dark rooms where only the morgue slabs or the multi-monitored workstations of the police detective-forensic investigators are illuminated with eerie spot lighting. The effect is really cool, quite unlike the lab they were going to, Rove mused to himself. It would be awash with florescent light, and the walls covered in grey-blue tile. He'd have to talk to someone about this, he thought. Our lab should be cool just like in TV.

As they turned into the corridor leading to the subterranean lab, Rove noticed that his companion was unusually quiet. He had scarcely uttered a word since Rove had summoned him to the lab. Perhaps, Rove considered, he knows what to expect, or he fears people in lab coats.

The two entered the lab room and stopped just within the doorway. Rove's jaw dropped open. Sitting on a stool at a long white table was Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Resting on the table in a large plastic tray was the back of Gonzales' head, along with some tiny machine screws. A technician poked carefully into the large cavity behind the Attorney General's ears with a voltage tester. He whistled softly as he touched various microcircuit connections and reviewed the readings on the voltmeter. Gonzales sat patiently, occasionally blinking, and occasionally speaking.

"The Democrats have my cheese," Gonzales murmured.

Rove coughed softly into his fist. The technician looked up, startled. "Mr. Rove! And...Mr. Vice President! What brings you two gentlemen here?" he asked.

"Ah, I'll explain in a minute," said Rove, then pointed at Gonzales, "What's with him?"

"Oh, with all the Congressional hearings and all, it looks like he might have blown a capacitor," the technician said, his attention returning to Gonzales' head.

"I'd noticed he was having, um, 'memory problems'," Rove said, "but I hadn't realized it was this serious." He glanced at the Vice President, pursing his lips.

"Well," the technician said, "it looks like the stress affected his logic circuits." He paused, peering into the hole in the back of Gonzales' head, "Not that there was a lot to work with in the first place."

"My memory is fine," Gonzales said defensively, "I just forget things."

"The President was under a lot of pressure to retire him," the technician said. There was sadness in his voice. "But even if we keep him, I don't know if we can fix him."

"My statements were accurate, but they may have been factually deficient," opined Gonzales.

"Was that a joke?" asked Rove.

The technician paused to scratch the back of his head, "I don't think he has humor circuits, to be frank." He turned to the two men, "So gentlemen, what can I do for you?"

"Don't let them get near your liquor cabinet, Larry," a deep voice with a Brooklyn accent called across the room. "And when they leave, count the silverware."

Startled, Rove and Cheney quickly turned toward the voice. On a long table near the wall sat the head of Antoine Scalia. It rested upon a squat metal pedestal from which a fountain of wires sprang to meet various electronic instruments.

"Hey, Tony, you look like you lost weight!" declared Rove, smiling broadly.

The head of Antoine Scalia roared with laughter, then said, "Hey, Karl, I'd get up and shake your hand, but..." he cast his eyes downward. They both laughed.

"What's he doing here," queried Rove, pointing at the head of Scalia, "like that?"

"Routine maintenance," shrugged Larry the Technician, "cleaning."

"Must be all those cannoli," quipped Rove.

"Gitt adda here!" cried Scalia-head.

"I'd be careful with those Eye-talian desserts, if I were you," announced the Vice President, "the Democrats fill them with hallucinogenic mushrooms."

"Um, that would be crepes," said Larry. Rove and the Vice President looked at him quizzically. Larry shrugged, "From what I heard."

"It's worse than that," continued the Vice President, "the Democrats have been building secret bases on Mars so they can broadcast Michael Moore movies to all of Earth. For free! No commercials!

"That's awful," Larry the Technician said. His eyes swept to Rove. "So, is this what you're talking about?"

Rove nodded slowly and looked at the floor. "Um, yeah. Can you help?"

"Remember when Nancy Pelosi visited Iraq in January?" the Vice President exclaimed, "She was giving the terrorists her frequent-flier miles so they could come fight us here! At a discount!"

"Yeah, I can fix this," whispered Larry. He opened a drawer and produced two white cables. At the end of each was a small brass alligator clip. He held up the clips and presented them to the Vice President.

"Sir?" said Larry, tipping his head to one side.

The Vice President leaned forward, and with the forefinger of each hand drew up his earlobes. One tiny brass peg was revealed below each ear. Larry clamped the alligator clips to their respective pegs, then he turned to a flat metal box on the table. He flipped two toggle switches, then slowly turned a small dial. The Vice President trembled slightly. His arms hung limply at his sides. After half a minute, Larry turned the knob to zero.

Rove looked at the Vice President as if trying to bring him into focus. "Dick. How are you?"

The Vice President rubbed his eyes with his palms, stood straight, and turned to meet Rove's gaze. "I'm great," he beamed, "Couldn't be better!"

Rove decided to test the Vice President's recovery. "So what's the latest on the war front, Dick?"

"Excellent! We've got al-Qaeda on the run! We'll have Iraq wrapped up in a few weeks. And Iran will be a friendly democracy by Christmas!"

Rove shook his head in amazement, "Like night and day! You do good work, Larry!"

"Hey, careful with the praise!" warned Scalia-Head, "Or, he'll get a big head!"

"Can't get bigger than yours" replied Rove.

Scalia-Head roared with laughter, "Why I oughta...!"

"Listen, we've got to run," said Rove, "the President's having the Indonesian ambassador for dinner. We should get there before he gets into trouble."

"Call CENTCOM," exclaimed the Vice President, "You can't be too careful."

"I'm sorry, I don't recall CENTCOM," murmured Gonzales, leaning toward an imaginary microphone.

Rove and the Vice President started for the door. Rove stopped and turned briefly. "Yo, Tony, we'll see you around, eh?"

"Who loves ya, baby!" bellowed Scalia-head.

Rove and the Vice-President hurried from the lab. Larry strode to the refrigerator and located a Diet Coke. As he opened the can, Alberto Gonzales suddenly sat erect and exclaimed, "I remember!"

"Remember what?" asked Larry.

"I fired all those U.S. Attorneys! I did it myself!"

"You did what?" Larry said, dumbfounded.

"Iglesias! Ryan! Lam! Chiara and Cummins! I fired them all. It's all clear! I made the calls myself!"

Gonzales turned to Larry, a triumphant smile had broken across his face. "It's all so -." A fountain of sparks erupted from the back of Gonzales' head, and he was silent.

Part Two

The President sat with his hands at his lap as his dinner plate was taken away. He did not look up as the concoction was placed before him. The dessert was comprised of layers of chocolate and coffee ice cream topped with a fragile haystack of toasted coconut, all shaped into a delicate tower.

Very Asian-like, thought the President. Now what do I do.

Minutes earlier, as he was finishing his main course, the precocious twin sons of the Indonesian ambassador had come to his chair and presented him with an odd gift. It was a slender tube of woven straw, vaguely resembling the handle of a basket. The President surrendered to a natural inclination to accommodate the charming eight-year-olds, and inserted a forefinger into each end of the tube as he was instructed. As the twins scurried off giggling, the President chuckled and beamed in the direction of the ambassador.

"They're real cute," he exclaimed. The ambassador smiled broadly and nodded profusely, having no idea what the President had just said.

The President then reached for his spoon with his left hand and was surprised to find his right hand rising from his lap at the same time. It took a long moment for the President to realize that his pointer fingers were imprisoned in the tube, rendering his carefully practiced table manners utterly useless.

Now he sat with his hands in his lap, pondering his situation. All that stood between him and his dessert was a small bit of woven straw. Escaping this crude trap would require no more than the force of pure will, he decided. I will not be defeated by some straw, he declared to himself. I will be resolute. I will prevail.

Bracing his elbows against the armrests of his chair, the President pulled his imprisoned forefingers in away from each other. The tube narrowed and lengthened slightly. He pulled some more, harder this time. The tube took the shape of an elongated hourglass, the empty center the width of a pencil. The President's forefingers were turning a grayish blue and looked like two hairless seals caught in a trap.

On the plate before him, the dainty ice cream dessert was beginning to tilt sadly to one side, like a failed culinary experiment. He suddenly noticed that the ambassador's wife was looking at the dessert - and at him - with mild bewilderment. The President smiled at her his broad beaming smile and joined her in gazing at the dessert as if it were his greatest achievement. He nodded to her, and she shyly nodded back. Both a sat quietly, waiting for the dessert to succumb to gravity.

Damn, he thought to himself. Where there hell are Turdblossom and Cheney when you need them?

***

Posted by: CowTown | September 20, 2007 10:15 AM | Report abuse

My prediction is that SnottyNozeBratt is another sock puppet. Some things s/he wrote yesterday (condolences, *edumacated*) and today (faxing food), being a little familiar with our names, . . . it all adds up.

Who is it? SNB might be a hint or a red herring by someone else. I have a prediction that I'll send to Yoki right now in case I ever get the chance to prove I'm right.

Is this how conspiracy theories begin? :-)

Posted by: dbG | September 20, 2007 10:34 AM | Report abuse

More, CowTown, more! Don't leave us hanging like this. I was quietly enjoying the story ("The Democrats have my cheese"), then the twins introduced Arbusto's predicament and I succumbed to helpless laughter. Brilliant.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 20, 2007 10:43 AM | Report abuse

TBG: Many years ago, in grad school, we had a course called Research Publication Methods. We learned how to process and print B&W film. One of my favourite pictures is of the falls at BWF State Park. Dolly Sods is in that area as well, many would consider the Sods the Eastern Continental divide. On a clear day you can see 4 mountain ridges from the Sods, all the way to the Blue Ridge. If I live to retirement age, I hope to have a place in the Shenandoah Valley.

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Posted by: Pop Socket | September 20, 2007 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Hey Poppy! You're our sane crazy person.
Lotsa action this morning. Must go back to catch up.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Welcome back, StorytellerCowTown.

Posted by: kbertocci | September 20, 2007 11:03 AM | Report abuse

I have received dbG's very well-reasoned possible ID of the sock puppet SnottyNozeBrat. Anyone else want to make a guess?

Posted by: Yoki | September 20, 2007 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Hey Pop Socket, David Broder called your man "semi-eccentric" in his piece today. I think you should be all over him like a cheap suit.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 20, 2007 11:08 AM | Report abuse

The West Virginia state park system is amazing. The CCC-built cabins are spectacular and very affordable. We spent a weekend each fall at Watoga State Park for several years. There is so much to do in Pocohontas County alone that we rarely did anything twice.

The Highland Scenic Highway outshines the Skyline Drive, mainly because the vistas are along the entire drive, not just at designated spots where you can see beyond the trees. And it's also empty--even at the height of the fall color season.

http://www.pocahontas.org/Highland_Scenic_Highway.aspx

Beartown State Park is another fun spot for the family. And don't forget swimming in October in Blue Bend Recreation Area, another CCC project. The water is freezing, but the sun is so warm and you are protected down in the little valley.

http://www.fs.fed.us/r9/mnf/rec/rog_recareas/blue_bend_rec_area.htm

This West Virginia Travel Bureau commercial is now over. Have a great day, all! After a socializing lunch, we're taking off this afternoon to meander down to visit Son of G tomorrow. Also taking Step 2 in the most-recent Boodle Mission of Mercy.

Happy Trails!

Posted by: TBG | September 20, 2007 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Good luck and best wishes, TBG, and say howdy to anyone we know.

Posted by: Ivansmom | September 20, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

dmd has chimed in with another heavyweight contender. . . who to choose? who to choose?

Posted by: dbG | September 20, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

TBG have a safe and happy trip, hugs to all.

Posted by: dmd | September 20, 2007 11:19 AM | Report abuse

Have a wonderful time with Son of G, TBG. And let us know how the Mission fares.

Posted by: Yoki | September 20, 2007 11:26 AM | Report abuse

TBG, be sure to wear good boots and clean socks. Carry plenty of water. We want photos and a full report.
.
As for SNB, I think he/she is simply a lurker who has decided finally to comment.
.
I must return to work. Cheers.

Posted by: CowTown | September 20, 2007 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Joel you mentioned consulting Pogue. Is that a person or a data base?

Blackwater's founder Erik Prince is connected to the Christian Reconstructionist movement, is a financial backer of Gary Bauer, and his sister is married to Dick DeVos the Amway heir *shiver*.
I've been following these people (not my firt choice of word) for some time and if you want to continue living in a secular democracy I suggest you keep an eye on
them too.
This is Blackwater's top staff. Note Joseph Schmitz.
http://content.hamptonroads.com/story.cfm?story=108028&ran=144012
This link is rather timely as it connects the DeVos family with D James Kennedy (good riddance).
http://www.mediamouse.org/features/090507chris.php

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Great story Cowtown. ROTFL

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 11:46 AM | Report abuse

If being the only Republican against the war is semi-eccentric, what do you have to do to be full-on crazy? Stay the course? Support the surge? Put out a contract on America?

Tell Gin Newtrich we don't need his help.

Posted by: Pop Socket | September 20, 2007 12:09 PM | Report abuse

I've actually been playing all morning with a new alter ego, but he/she isn't ready for prime time yet. I'll wait for a few more days before the unveiling.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Good luck with your errand of mercy, TBG. Enjoy those Carolina skies and bring back some Cheerwine.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Obviously I need to catchup on backboodling. Someone has been tinkering with my security settings, drat them.

Go carefully TBG. (extremely vague Star Trek reference for the true geeks among us, but one of the nicest episodes)

CowTown, wonderful. Like a classic sci fi tale, it will always leave us wondering. It left me wanting more.

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

SD, I wonder if "Blackwater" meant exactly as you say and that it's mercenary humour. People that I have known that have gone the "private contractor" route self-identified as rebels compared to more conventional forces.

Cross-border news: our currencies reached parity this a.m. Good news for the math impaired.

Posted by: SonofCarl | September 20, 2007 12:31 PM | Report abuse

We all might want to think about fastening our seat belts. Apparently this morning Hillary called Cheney "Darth Vader" and the Drudge Report has seen fit to banner it. I'm momentarily expecting a HillaryStorm of rightwing umbrage that she would so defame our beloved vice president and crack marksman.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 20, 2007 12:31 PM | Report abuse

SoC, re parity: Finally, I will understand funny money in real Canadian dollars. I've been waiting since high school.

Good thing she didn't use Darth Cheney. Then she'd be in real trouble.

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Why are disparaging the VP's marksmanship Mudge? He hit the guy didn't he?
Maybe the Blackwater name refers to their location in the Great Dismal Swamp.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 12:53 PM | Report abuse

mudge,
The Grudge Retort links to a Politico post and the RoveStorm in their comments is at least 9.5. Please keep the bunker will stocked. I'm going to need some Jack and ginger real soon here.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Parity with the Looney? It's going to be cheaper for the Canuckis to cross the border to buy magazines and trashy romance novels. Those things always cost at least a 25% premium.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 1:04 PM | Report abuse

And yarn, yello. I intend my first parity border incursion to be a deep full bodied attack on yarn vendors.

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 1:13 PM | Report abuse

$1 US = $1.002004 Can

Posted by: omni | September 20, 2007 1:13 PM | Report abuse

I just want to say this re parity - Stage Three of "The Plan" successfully implemented. The strange sounds you hear coming from the northside of the border - sobs of exporters.

Yello there has been quite a few articles on how the surge in the dollar has not yet altered prices for things such as books.

Posted by: dmd | September 20, 2007 1:25 PM | Report abuse

dr: "And yarn, yello. I intend my first parity border incursion to be a deep full bodied attack on yarn vendors"
.
Ah Ha! I knew it! The first sign of the Canadian Invasion: They go after our yarn! Bar the doors! Close the shutters! Hide the sheep!

Posted by: CowTown | September 20, 2007 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Indeed yello, indeed. I was looking at F1 Racing yesterday, a magazine made in the UK.
Prices were £4.10, $US: 9.50 and $CDN: 13.25.
So it makes the exchange rates 2.32 and 3.23 respectively for the US and CDN dollars while the "official" rate is 2.02.
Same things for car imported from Europe or Japan, we are clearly being robbed.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 20, 2007 1:52 PM | Report abuse

What with the parity of our currencies it's going to be a wild time in Florida this winter. Wild hordes of drunken, thong wearing Canuckistanis bothering the livestock and frightening the children. Enjoy.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Cowtown. Dooring the bars would be wiser than barring the doors,IMNSHO.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Boko, I am going to spend the rest of the day trying to rid my mind of "hordes of thong wearing Canuckistanis".

Posted by: dmd | September 20, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

I don't see why you guys up north need parity when the two currencies are equal.

*scratching head and walking away perplexed*

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 20, 2007 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Boko, I feel certain that the hordes of drunken thong-wearing American college students on Florida's beaches would cheerfully welcome their Canadian counterparts. The wildness and, um, "availability," of Haute Mainers who have escaped the Politeness Police State is well known. Remember, what happens outside Canada, stays outside Canada.

Posted by: ScienceTim | September 20, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Now that our dollar is equal and gas prices have dropped I have a very important questions. How much does a Venti, non-fat, no whip Pumpkin Spice Latte cost in the US - might just be worth a trip to Buffalo. :-)

Posted by: dmd | September 20, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Paul Krugman hit the nail on the head and drove it home, KaPow!

"One of my pet peeves about political reporting is the fact that some of my journalistic colleagues seem to want to be in another business - namely, theater criticism. Instead of telling us what candidates are actually saying - and whether it's true or false, sensible or silly - they tell us how it went over, and how they think it affects the horse race."
http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 2:20 PM | Report abuse

They don't call the place FourBucks for nothing.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 20, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

ScienceTim,

Did you see the Timothy Ferris show "Seeing in the Dark" last night on PBS? If so, what did you think?

Posted by: pj | September 20, 2007 2:24 PM | Report abuse

Yello, I just purchased on here 5.64

Posted by: dmd | September 20, 2007 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Did someone say thong wearing Canuckistanis:

Carrie-Anne Moss
Catherine O'Hara
Dorothy Stratton
Fay Wray
Jennifer Tilly
Jillian Hennessy
Kate Nelligan
Kim Cattrall
Lois Maxwell
Margot Kidder
Meg Tilly
Mia Kirshner
Mimi Kuzyk
Neve Campbell
Pamela Anderson
Sarah Polley
Shannon Tweed
Wendy Crewson
Yvonne De Carlo


I am SO there...

Posted by: omni | September 20, 2007 2:39 PM | Report abuse

new kit

Posted by: dr | September 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Omni,
William Shatner
the late John Candy
Don Cherry...

dmd without the taxes exacted by the Socialist Republic of Ontario and the Dominion of Socialist Republics of Haute Maine that is about $4.90, not worth the drive to Buffalo.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | September 20, 2007 2:50 PM | Report abuse

New Kit, BTW...

:-)

Posted by: Scottynuke | September 20, 2007 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for posting that link, boko. I've been of the same mind as Krugman for some time. Here's a good example of that kind of story: 1)MoveOn.org publishes the full page ad regarding Gen. Petraeus; 2) Gen. Petraeus given a waaarm welcome, by all reports, as one who is doing the best with what he has to work with; 3) The administration rolls out talking points that essentially put politicians who don't denounce the MoveOn.org ad as those that believe the surge isn't working and that favour a precipitious withdrawl; 4) Stories that put together a more complete picture of the statistics cited by Gen. Petraeus during the hearings get buried in the A section of the hardcopy or embedded in the Politics banner online after a brief appearance on the home page. The result is that the administration succeeds again in changing the subject to something a lot less important than the way in which the war has been prosecuted. Hillary calls the VP Darth Vader. BFD. The opposition should turn the tables, for example by saying, Ok, Move On.org was wrong for attacking the messenger. The criticism should be directed toward the President and Vice President for...(reason A, B, C, etc.).

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 2:56 PM | Report abuse

The Canadian dollar isn't rising the 'Merkin one is sinking, fast. Something to do with mismanagement, debt, fear, and loathing.

Posted by: Boko999 | September 20, 2007 2:59 PM | Report abuse

pj, I saw a review of Ferris' new show, but I haven't seen it myself, yet.

Posted by: ScienceTim | September 20, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for posting that link, boko. I've been of the same mind as Krugman for some time. Here's a good example of that kind of story: 1)MoveOn.org publishes the full page ad regarding Gen. Petraeus; 2) Gen. Petraeus given a waaarm welcome, by all reports, as one who is doing the best with what he has to work with; 3) The administration rolls out talking points that essentially put politicians who don't denounce the MoveOn.org ad as those that believe the surge isn't working and that favour a precipitious withdrawl; 4) Stories that put together a more complete picture of the statistics cited by Gen. Petraeus during the hearings get buried in the A section of the hardcopy or embedded in the Politics banner online after a brief appearance on the home page. The result is that the administration succeeds again in changing the subject to something a lot less important than the way in which the war has been prosecuted. Hillary calls the VP Darth Vader. BFD.

Posted by: jack | September 20, 2007 6:11 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2010 The Washington Post Company