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Films Not to Watch With Your Mom

A guest post by Caitlin Gibson:

On Saturday night, we decided to watch "Michael Clayton." We = me, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mother and my boyfriend's mother's boyfriend.

My boyfriend's mother enjoys suspense films, but she is not someone who enjoys vulgar language. So we cautioned her that "Michael Clayton" (we'd both seen it once before) had some moments of harsh vocabulary. But it's worth it, we told her. It's really smart, we added. Brilliantly acted!

So we settled in. And we were still in the first quarter of the film when Tom Wilkinson's character, who is borderline wacko and off his meds, began a spectacular rant. My boyfriend and I had completely forgotten about this scene until it began, at which point the reality of our error dawned on us in a simultaneous, rapidly escalating wave of alarm. This is a scene wherein Wilkinson's character tells George Clooney's character in great detail how, to celebrate reaching a certain number of billable hours, he and a lawyer colleague -- and here I'll try to make this safe for the Achenblog, children under 17 and adults of more proper generations -- visited an establishment of certain repute and engaged the services of two Eastern European female professionals, who did things that were not acupuncture to parts of his personal anatomy that were not elbows.

This did not sit well with Boyfriend's Mom, who made a rather dramatic exit in genuinely appalled protest. Awkward? It's safe to say that I would have happily traded vital bodily organs in exchange for either a time machine or a handle of scotch at that moment.

Though everything was ultimately smoothed out, this got me thinking about the fact that the scene in question -- which is, by anyone's standards, pretty darn graphic -- did not even register in my memory the first time I watched the film. My boyfriend didn't remember it either, nor did a few friends with whom I shared this story. Socially, it appears that we have all devolved to a point where something remarkably explicit is no longer remarkable at all. Hollywood can sneak in a scene far more obscene than the rest of the film, and it doesn't make any impression on us.

I could explore that familiar concept a bit more, and attempt to arrive at entirely new levels of profound philosophical conclusions with broad cultural implications, but I don't feel like it. Instead, I'd like to suggest that we all help each other out by sharing our cautionary tales of Movies That You Don't Want to Watch With Your Boyfriend's Mom, or your Own Mom. Because the standard movie ratings system is just not specific enough to be truly helpful. And certain key scenes are just too easily forgotten. And, before you know it, you've unknowingly caused great personal distress to loved ones. Or you're forced to pretend that you just happen to need a drink of water from the kitchen RIGHT NOW and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you rented "The English Patient" with your grandparents and Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas are about to vigorously entertain each other in a hallway.

By Marisa Katz  |  August 6, 2008; 4:00 PM ET
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This has happened to me repeatedly with my parents. The two incidents that are seared in my memory are High Fidelity and Laurel Canyon. Both good movies, with good acting and so on, and nothing that offends me in them, but watching with my parents really taught me a lesson and now when I'm choosing films I stay in the PG-13 or better categories. G, even better.

It also happens with my daughter--she tolerates much higher levels of gore and violence than I do, and what she thinks is a "good" movie will sometimes really disgust me.

Posted by: kbertocci | August 6, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

My son wanted to see Forty-Year-Old Virgin before he was 17 and for some reason theaters were being strict with their R rating and wouldn't let him in. So he asked me to take him.


To be honest, we've had a better, more open relationship since then. It's a filthy movie, but not erot!c so it wasn't that bad as far as embarrassing goes. Pretty funny, though.

Posted by: TBG | August 6, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Whatever you do, don't see "Pink Flamingos" with your boyfriend's Mom, even though John Waters did "Hairspray," too.

Oh, and "Last Tango in Paris," even though it stars Brando. But a boyfriend's Mom may have already seen it.


Posted by: bc | August 6, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Love Actually - had totally forgot about the storyline between the two porn star stand-ins. The movie is so cute otherwise.

Posted by: md | August 6, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

Yes! I recommended Love Actually to my lovely mother-in-law. She was very kind, but it was clear that she it was way too much for her and I didn't know why. I forgot about the porn star stand-ins doing their porn star standing in until I caught part of it at a friends house. Bad.

My son routinely tells me that I can't watch certain movies, "You won't like it" he says. That includes all Judd Apatow films. I think he may be right because we all went to see that ghastly Will Ferrell movie Talladega Nights together a few years ago and I was ready to sink into oblivion.

Glad the boodle's back in business.

Posted by: Kim | August 6, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

"Love Actually" is notorious at work because of the Winter Party held several years back. A young female employee brought a big bunch of "holiday movies" to display on the multiple oversized plasma screens in one of the labs.

She had totally forgotten those special scenes.

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

This has happened a couple of times to me as well. “Something about Mary” comes to mind straight away - my recollection was light-hearted fluff. Which it was. Mostly.

“My Own Private Idaho”. I'll say no more.

Posted by: SonofCarl | August 6, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

My wife once had the opposite problem. She once rented "Flashdance" because she thought our then 8-year-old daughter would like it.

She had forgotten all about that whole "meeting the ex-wife in the restaurant" scene until I reminded her.

Then I had to explain why, exactly, I remembered it so well.

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse


American Pie

Two fatal errors of judgement.

Posted by: Etch | August 6, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

I don't remember that scene, RD. Was there a redhead involved?

Posted by: Kim | August 6, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

I would add that the corollary to this is the "Movies Not to Watch With Your Kids."

My Mom made this mistake with "Saturday Night Fever" back in the day ("It's a *dancing* movie," she said.), and I've been super-vigilant with regards to my own kids ever since.

Might have to turn "Surfin' Bird" up when it comes on the radio, see if my older kids laugh. If they do, I'm not going to be happy, even if I laugh with them (while trying not to).


Posted by: bc | August 6, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of movies not to watch, I'm wondering about Pineapple Express. It sounds funny (but it is an Apatow film!) and Ann Hornaday liked it until the end. But I'm conflicted because I loved the great stoner film The Big Lebowski but I rented the stoner film Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and had to turn it off about 15 minutes into it. It was beyond raunchy.

Decisions, decisions.

Posted by: Kim | August 6, 2008 5:10 PM | Report abuse

I'm with bc - struggling with the "not to watch with your kids" category. I keep being enthusiastic about something then remembering (or being reminded by Ivansdad who has almost total recall of every movie he's ever seen) that there is something I would find embarrassing to watch with him. When I don't run one by Ivansdad I usually find out the hard way. Naturally I don't remember the movies. That would suggest I learn from mistakes.

Another tangential category is "soundtracks not to listen to in mixed company". I really like "Pulp Fiction" but am fully aware it is not for children (or to watch with your mother). However I thought of the soundtrack as an innocuous combination of rock & surfer music. I put it on for a gathering of colleagues and their children. I somehow forgot that the soundtrack starts with the beginning of the robbery, a woman shouting to the mother$!$@<<! about to become victims. Oops.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Most awkward family viewing was "Mallrats" with my parents and my sixteen year old son. Ben Affleck doing it in an uncomfortable place (and not the back of a Volkswagon) made the whole room uncomfortable.

Posted by: notyellojkt | August 6, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Ah, feels like home! Being boodleless was terrible! I remember many years ago seeing Carnal Knowledge and a woman in front of us kept gasping each time a bad word was uttered (which was often). I think she and her companion finally got up and left. Thinking back, I bet she was younger than I am now. I can take pretty much any language if it's important to the story. I used to love Deadwood and the language in that was truly bright blue. But it made sense for the characters to speak like that so I was okay with it. Things that bother me are bathroom humor, excessive violence and swearing just for the hell of it - many comics tend to do this, and I find it juvenile and unfunny. Is hell still considered a swear word? :-)

Posted by: Bad Sneakers | August 6, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

We took our son and a friend to Harold and Kumar. It became an inside joke with us whether he was Harold (the uptight nervous one) or Kumar (the wild scheming one). He kept telling us neither since he doesn't smoke pot. That's the right answer whether it's true or not.

When he was 12 or 13 he wanted to see Jerry McGuire. My wife reminded me of the one scene early in the movie where Tom Cruise nearly puts his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend's head through the headboard. I masterfully fast-forwarded through and the rest was fine.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 6, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

She went to see a movie called Carnal Knowledge and then was appalled at the content? Someone hand that woman a dictionary.

Posted by: TBG | August 6, 2008 5:20 PM | Report abuse

While still in high school, my future wife's family had one of the first VCRs in the neighborhood. We watched Carnal Knowledge together (but NOT with her parents) and that movie still sticks with me. Much more depressing than even Midnight Cowboy. If it was just the language that lady was objecting to, she must have kept her eyes closes.

Tying into the musical post beforehand, we took our son to see Spring Awakening which has R-rated content on stage (partial female and male nudity and simulated sex). The usher tried to convince a lady that it might be too strong for her ten-year-old son. She insisted otherwise. They left at intermission. Which was too late.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 6, 2008 5:23 PM | Report abuse

Flying by, Boodletesting

Posted by: Brag | August 6, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

My mother and I watched "Working Girls" (not to be confused with the Melanie Griffith movie "Working Girl") and another British happy-prostitute movie whose name I have forgotten. These were uncomfortable moments. I'll let my sister choose movies for my mother.

Posted by: PlainTim | August 6, 2008 5:50 PM | Report abuse

Best in Show. We got about 10 minutes in, to the part when the gayer half of the gay couple is talking about how he once knew a guy with two members, and my mom hit her limit. (I think the part when Parker Posey and her husband were talking about Kama Sutra positions at the beginning didn't help either. Seriously, how do I forget these things?)

I told her she'd like Love Actually, but refused to watch it with her. I think she did like it...but I'm glad I wasn't there.

Posted by: h3 | August 6, 2008 5:52 PM | Report abuse

Older dottir's boyfriend was loaned Casino Royale by his sister, and we watched it. I had to get up and go wash dishes during the torture scenes. I just don't do that stuff well at all. Otherwise, a pretty good Bond flick.

But you folks know me. *I* do movies based on Jane Austen novels. Loved loved loved Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason.

Posted by: slyness | August 6, 2008 6:02 PM | Report abuse

Mmmm. Nice to have the boodle back.

I found it ironic that my father would chastise me (that's the kindest word I dare use) when certain words *escaped* my lips, yet he would give me books which used all the word-bombs in graphic (needless to say) detail. I brought that irony to his attention, which he was loathe to accept. Ah, well, I think his emotional wrinkles were desperately in need of heavier ironying.

Movies -- that was another kettle of fish altogether.

Posted by: firsttimeblogger | August 6, 2008 6:07 PM | Report abuse

There warn't any of this namby-pamby delicacy back were I come from, what with all us young'uns sleeping with Maw an Paw all bundled together in the loft. Why, when one of Maw's men children came of a certain age she would stick a chicken under his arm and shoo him off to the Widder Craddock.

Posted by: Boko999 | August 6, 2008 6:09 PM | Report abuse

It's really hard for me to think Daniel Craig when I hear or read the title Casino Royale (which I didn't see) instead of David Niven, whose version of Casino Royale I *did* see.

Posted by: PlainTim | August 6, 2008 6:09 PM | Report abuse

The first time I saw "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was on an airplane, which means that a lot of the naughty bits had been taken out. So it was a bit of a surprise when we saw the theatrical version with my in-laws. Almost as surprising as how much my MIL laughed at those bits.

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 6:20 PM | Report abuse

And then there was The Full Monty. Watched that with my buddies at the beach. Would not wish to view it with any member of a generation older than me!

Posted by: slyness | August 6, 2008 6:24 PM | Report abuse

"My Cousin Vinnie" comes to mind. I think it's rolling-on-the-floor funny, recommended it to a friend who was not amused at the language.

Great kit!

Posted by: dbG | August 6, 2008 6:24 PM | Report abuse

And, actually, you could watch anything with my mom.

"Appropriate" was a foreign concept to her.

Not always as much fun as it sounds, but I never had to worry about books or movies.

Posted by: dbG | August 6, 2008 6:28 PM | Report abuse

And then there was the time I totally forgot about that smokin' hot nude love scene in the latter third of "Sound of Music."

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 6:28 PM | Report abuse

Actually, the most embarrassing moment of this type I can recall is sitting with my mom as a young boy when those feminine protection commercials used to come on.

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 6:32 PM | Report abuse

Nice to have the boodle back. I've never watched movies much with my parents but I managed a couple of awckward moments with my selections of movies. I rely too much on my very porous memory.
Almost vevery week I rent an old French, Italian, American Indie or British movie to widen the kids' horizon. Sometimes it's a hit (Rabbi Jacob, L'aventure c'est l'aventure, Little murders, etc), sometimes it's a bust (Un homme et une femme, The Tin Drum, etc) and sometimes it leads to uncomfortable situation. The latest embarrassing one was Pane e ciocollata (Bread and Chocolate) with the great Nino Manfredi and Anna Karina. I totally forgot about the scene when the older boys go away in the bush with the ewe and the younger boys stay in camp but then each one grab the closest hen...

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 6:57 PM | Report abuse

May I just say I have nothing to say at this point? :-)

Posted by: Scottynuke | August 6, 2008 7:02 PM | Report abuse

"Sound of Music," Padouk? Criminy, I musta slept through that part. Please don't make me watch it again.

Caitlin, since I am of ... a certain age... I am married to a very nice lady who is quite easily old enough to be your mother -- and maybe (depending on exactly how disgustingly young you are -- your grandmother. So I don't have a problem with anybody's mom-- it's my own wife I can't watch most movies with. She was brought up in Tennessee, you see, and she doesn't like... what I like. So: No to:

Love, Actually (one of my 22-year-old son's favorites; he and I have watched it together, which isn't quite as bad as it sounds. Also one of my favorites, mostly for the Colin Firth writer/Portugeuse waitress bits.)

Shakespeare in Love: Remember Gwynnie getting unwrapped? Boy, I do. But what does it say when ya can't even watch some Shakespeare, yanno?

Unfaithful: Love Diane Lane. So did what's-his-name. Again in the hallway (pace Kristin Scott Thomas/English Patient) (Hey, what is it with hallways?)

Bound: Great, great thriller, very taut. Loved Gina Gershon (also very taut). So did Jennifer Tilly.

The HBO series "Tell Me You Love Me." Which included some show-and-tell, not just tell.

America's Test Kitchen: Bridgit Lancaster is sooooooooooo hot. OK, maybe that's just me.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 6, 2008 7:03 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: dbG | August 6, 2008 7:09 PM | Report abuse

Nice to see everyone online and good to hear from you again Catlin

My mother and I watched Training Day together. Denzel Washington won an oscar for his role and we try to watch the oscar nominated films and I blushed bigtime many times.It was a nasty, vulgar, violent movie. Not something that you watch with my mother.

The next night we watched Ali,which had some pretty violent scenes as well and langauge too. We both agreed that Will Smith should have won the oscar that year.

Posted by: greenwithenvy | August 6, 2008 7:14 PM | Report abuse

Recently watched a the Ben Stiller movie Heartbreak kid with one of my children. I am not a movie person so I knew nothing about the movie - seemed like a typical Stiller movie, the Wedding night scenes where quite awkward.

Our kids frequently tell us when one or the other is watching an inappropriate movies. My embarrassment seems small compared to the twelve year old who squirms when she believes a younger sibling is viewing inappropriate material. She has some pretty rigid guidelines.

Posted by: dmd | August 6, 2008 7:18 PM | Report abuse

Shakespeare in Love was on my list, too, Mudge. My husband loved it -- we saw it in the theater. When it came out on video he wanted to rent it and show it to our daughter--but she was about 11 then and I said NO. My husband couldn't remember anything risque; thank goodness for Mom's memory.

Recently our 12-year-old granddaughter/step-granddaughter was visiting and I realized how much I have turned off that monitor I used to have--when my daughter was young I always paid attention to movies with her in mind, thinking whether she could watch it or not, or even how many years it would be before it would be appropriate. I don't do that anymore. She is going to have her 21st birthday in a couple of weeks. Sigh.

Posted by: kbertocci | August 6, 2008 7:20 PM | Report abuse

My Mum is fine with sex, but violence and foul language she won't tolerate. Also any CGI, male gross-out humour, ... So, we don't watch a lot of movies together. Thank goodness for real estate and design shows on TV, those we can watch. And she likes live theatre, so that is always a winner.

Posted by: Yoki | August 6, 2008 7:23 PM | Report abuse

A couple of years ago the Shakespeare company here did "Titus Andronicus" - you may remember me mentioning it. The Boy, who was ten, was in it, and we had to go over the plot with him very carefully. Normally chldren are encouraged to see these shows, since it gives them a taste of the Bard's magic and might inoculate them from the pain of high school english. However, Titus is pretty harsh, with basically a completely adult theme and lots of violence, including sexual violence. The box office posted signs warning parents that this show was not suitable for children. We kept getting parents who were sure that THEIR toddler or elementary school prodigy was the exception. We'd sell them the ticket and they'd leave, usually before intermission.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 7:31 PM | Report abuse

My Mom was the type who would watch movies that would make *me* blush (and I'm not much of a blusher).

I got her good, though.

A radio station in Pittsburgh (WDVE) used to do morning prank wake-up calls. Well I left her number on their answering machine for the show and told them she had a satellite dish with one of those black market chips in the receiver that lets you get all the good channels for free. Her girlfriend's daughter had recently told her that having one of those chips is a felony offense and that the FCC could tell she had one by bouncing certain signals off the dish -- so she was a little paranoid about it already.

Anyway, they call her up at like 5:00am pretending to be special agents investigating allegations that she has one of the evil chips. They started out with innocuous questions like "Ma'am, do you have a satellite dish?" which she'd answer in a very guilty voice "ummm... I don't know what you're talking about". After several of these kinds of questions, they pulled out the big guns. They said "Ma'am, maybe if we mention the titles of some of the programming we've intercepted being received by your dish it might ring a bell." Then they started rattling off made-up porno movie titles like "Skin TV", "Robocrotch", etc. I can't remember the last one, but it was so outrageous and funny she knew this couldn't be for real and realized what was going on (she listened to the same station and knew of the prank calls). Now that the cat was out of the bag, they told her that her son had called and asked them to give her a wake-up call, to which she said "That son-of-a-b!tch... I'm gonna kill him... I'm going to make myself a cup of coffee and then I'm going to kill him."

She obviously didn't kill me, but I got *my* wake-up call at 5:15am from Mom, who was laughing so hard it took her 5 minutes or so for me to figure out what the heck was going on. The best part is that she said she really believed it was the Feds calling and the whole time she was on the phone with them, she was trying to figure out how to get the big dish off the roof and where she might be able to hide it.

Back to sanding now...

Peace out :-)

Posted by: martooni | August 6, 2008 7:49 PM | Report abuse

I saw "Easy Rider" with my pretty strait-laced mom and a much more strait-laced mom. Not a good idea. And I have no idea whose idea this was.

I also saw a double feature of "Patton" and "M*A*S*H" at a drive-in with her and a several of my friends. She graciously said that she fell asleep watching "M*A*S*H."

I saw "Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" by myself.

I saw "M*A*S*H" when it came out. I was 14. The guy sitting next to me was, I think, old enough to have been in the Army in the mid-50s to early 60s. I thought he was going to die from laughing so hard during the movie. It cetainly helped my enjoyment of it. I saw that movie at least three times before I turned 17.

Posted by: pj | August 6, 2008 7:52 PM | Report abuse

Please pardon the interruption while I indulge in a tomato gloat. I stopped by my aunt's this afternoon and she sent me home with a big bag of "extra" tomatoes - several Cherokee Purples plus two perfect green tomatoes. I am about to have a big plate of fried green tomatoes plus sliced Cherokee Purples. For lunch tomorrow, I'll have, hmmm, let me see, I know - more Cherokee Purples! Then for supper . . . I am as tomato-greedy as the hobbits were for mushrooms.

Sorry. Carry on.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 7:54 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, I share your pleasure of Ms. Lancaster of ATC. And I don't care if there's an orgy in the middle of "Sound of Music." It still isn't worth watching. Listen to the title song and "Edelweiss" and you have the movie covered.

Posted by: pj | August 6, 2008 7:59 PM | Report abuse

There is no orgy in "Sound of Music." Sheesh.
That's in the director's cut of "Gone with the Wind."

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 8:04 PM | Report abuse

That's Ms. Lancaster of ATK.

RD is right about "Sound of Music", of course. It's that steamy scene between Rolf and the Captain that gets everybody's attention. Like the lost Shakespeare play "Romeo and Steve."

Posted by: pj | August 6, 2008 8:15 PM | Report abuse

Sound of Music is all about the untertone of sexual tension RDP.
Speaking of movies, anybody seen kurosawa-guy lately?

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 8:41 PM | Report abuse

Beach check-in: bluest surf ever at earthy, ticky, tacky N. Ocean City. Oh, the humanity! Peeple-watching here is like no other place. Tattoos should come with a fast-forward ten years warning! Always, the ocean is so beautiful that nothing matters; though, beaches, say 500 yards should be free and not owned by anybody.

Miss you. Wearing 70 sunscreen. Using the purda of a sheet. Not body-surfing or boogie-boarding, to keep the ribs healing. Sad about the no-frolic rule. However, overheard a torrid conversation from next to me. Wow. Buried my head deeper into Barbaa Pym's
A Few Green leaves.

Faxing fudge from the store in N. Fenwick whose name escapes me: rocky road and plain old chocolate.

Posted by: College Parkian | August 6, 2008 8:42 PM | Report abuse

ah CP! I worked for the navy and seen lots of 30-40 YO tats. Them kids don't know what they're in for. Brown smudge.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 8:52 PM | Report abuse

Important discomortable movie: Juno. To see with teens for all the obvious reasons, but for each reaction.
For example, one friend reports that her son will no longer eat orange tic tacs.

The two teens are drawn realistically,especiallyPaully Bleeker, the boy. Younger in many ways than the girls of his peer group.

Last Tango!, bc,my goodness, up there with Story of O and some French movie with Sandrine somebody....I saw Dances with Wolves with my mother and that was spicey enough for her.

Posted by: CP in OC | August 6, 2008 8:56 PM | Report abuse

Or having the big B.R.E.N.D.A spit&shoeshine tattoo on the forearm when Brenda is wife no. 1 of a 4 wives series. Sorry for that Capt(N) X.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 8:59 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the fudge, college parkian. I too rely on the 70 proof sunscreen and sheet, long white pants & long sleeved shirt, big hat. I have redefined pool fashion to the Boy's embarrassment. However, emerge at least once to take a dip for me. I miss the ocean.

The Boy and I enjoy admiring tattoos (lots around here) but he is keenly aware that they involve blood and much pain. This has proved a powerful deterrent which I believe may last through his danger years. That, and the fact that our stock response to anything (motorcycle? tattoo? earring?) is when he has finished graduate school and can pay his own insurance.

Good question, shrieking D. I miss k-guy too.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 9:00 PM | Report abuse

The Boy & I saw "Juno" recently. I had no problem with it, nor did he, but Ivansdad refused to join us - too much potential for blushes, I think. It seems to have proved an effective deterrent, which was my hope. I asked him what main lesson he learned and he said, "Don't have sex until I'm in my 20s." Good boy. I'm hoping for "out of high school".

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 9:03 PM | Report abuse

little box people
tout ticky tacky tattoos
a bourgeois blue sea

Posted by: Anonymous | August 6, 2008 9:06 PM | Report abuse

CP. Maria Schneider (sp?) is Marlon's love interest. Pass me the butter please.

Sandrine Bonnaire is about 20-25 years youngers, I think. I'm in love with her too.

It's funny that America (i.e. USA and Canada) spends billions in p0rn yet blushes at the slighest er0tic suggestion.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 9:07 PM | Report abuse

I always figured the more I pushed for an earring, the less likely Son of G was to get one. It's worked so far.

Posted by: TBG | August 6, 2008 9:09 PM | Report abuse

I just remembered that when I was about 11 or 12 and on vacation in NH, my parents took my girlfriend and I to a drive-in movie - Anatomy of a Murder. I think my parents assumed that Hitchcock was safe, boy were they wrong. My friend and I stifled embarassed giggles all night. I’m sure my father wanted to disappear.

Posted by: Bad Sneakers | August 6, 2008 9:10 PM | Report abuse

LOL... that is a hilarious kit... I remember as a young girl a similar experience with my mom. We flicked on the TV one afternoon and started watching a movie with good old William Hurt. Looked intriguing until the graphic sex scene came on... it was Body Heat. My mom and I sat riveted to our chairs, holding our breath and staring dumb struck at the television.

My mother just glossed over it and said she never much cared for William Hurt. All I was thinking was wow, so that's what it's all about. No need for the parent talk about birds and bees.

Posted by: Miss Toronto | August 6, 2008 9:15 PM | Report abuse

My soon to be 13 year old saw Juno a few times - it is one of her favorite movies and she has had a similar response to Ivan.

For me it is more disturbing to watch violence or gore and anything else - even when it is suitable - swearing doesn't bother me too much, Glengarry Glen Ross is a movie I have always enjoyed even if the language is a little extreme.

Posted by: dmd | August 6, 2008 9:15 PM | Report abuse

I rented Love Actually for me and my grandmother. Wow, I sure didn't see THAT coming. Heh.

Posted by: DJ | August 6, 2008 9:17 PM | Report abuse

The most uncomfortable movie recently for my son and I was Fistful of Dollars on AMC. Every commercial break included at least one ad for an erectile dysfunction treatment, both legitimate and snake oil. My wife asked "Just what 'special part of the male anatomy' does that stuff work on?"

Posted by: yellojkt | August 6, 2008 9:26 PM | Report abuse

Once again, dmd and Ivansmom and some others are making me realize what a slacker-Mom I was (am).

Posted by: Yoki | August 6, 2008 9:27 PM | Report abuse

I adore my day-tripper beach haiku. Who IS that charming will o the wordsmith?

New, we love you sight unseen. Old, we are pleased but so curious.

Posted by: CP in OC | August 6, 2008 9:32 PM | Report abuse

Yoki I have met #1 and #2 and there is no way a slacker mom could have raised them. And you are no slacker.

Sometimes I think my oldest is raising me - she seems so grounded I am hoping in lasts through the next few years.

Posted by: dmd | August 6, 2008 9:33 PM | Report abuse

Not at all, Yoki. It is pure terror speaking. Having waited until pretty late to have a child, I have no desire to be raising "surprises" in my old age.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 6, 2008 9:34 PM | Report abuse

Good point Ivansmom - I am an older mom as well, also I am terrified that they will ge like I was during my teen years - fortunately kids seem smarter now :-)

Posted by: dmd | August 6, 2008 9:39 PM | Report abuse

Been listening to showtunes on Verizon while surfing the web. They played that Oklahoma 'Jud is Dead' song and I had to grin. Went and bought tickets for Rooms in Alexandria.

Mostly based on the good review in WaPo:

Posted by: yellojkt | August 6, 2008 9:40 PM | Report abuse

/siren song of the tomato from a difficult-to-pinpoint-location/

Ivansmom, Ivanssssssmmmmmommmmm! Come to the megaBPH and there will be a whole basket of us waiting for you.

Is there a plural for a group of tomatoes? If not, I'm proposing one: A *ketchup* of tomatoes.

Posted by: dbG | August 6, 2008 9:51 PM | Report abuse

But orange tic-tacs *are* fruity and delicious.

Posted by: RD Padouk | August 6, 2008 9:53 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, you have no idea what I have exposed my kids too, willing or not.
dmd and ivansmomn don't fool yourself, I'm sur your kids are good kids, but down there they are evil, like all kids.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 6, 2008 9:55 PM | Report abuse

Good song, right, yello?

Posted by: nellie | August 6, 2008 10:06 PM | Report abuse

I apologize for the dramatic turn of topic but I saw this report and it made me so angry. PETA was trying to use the horrible event that happened in Winnipeg to draw attention to the killing of animals for food - and according to the story attempted to place and ad.

Disgust doesn't begin to describe how their actions make me feel.

Warning if you haven't heard about the Winnipeg incidnet - it is awful.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Posted by: dmd | August 6, 2008 10:57 PM | Report abuse

I play cribbage with my grandmother. I do not plan to watch a movie of any sort with her in the same room, ever, unless it's G.

What are you people doing picking movies for your elderly relatives, anyway? Let them rent what THEY like, and stay OUT while they watch.

I think the easy way is to take the PG-13 and R ratings seriously. PG-13 movies often tend to have more offensive speech (innuendo), while R rated movies have more graphic action. But some movies will combine both.

I remembered bringing over what I thought was a family movie, and my brother spotting the PG-13 on it and vetoing it for his kids who were under 6. That was appropriate. For kids that age, it has to be G, nothing stronger.

Many stuff that seems family-friendly to adults aren't always so to very young kids.

I remember reading that many younger kids got nightmares from "Little House on the Prairie" TV series because of the adult issues covered-- not because of Michael Landon going all werewolf of a sudden.

That said, I've seen a lot of parents seem oblivious to what movie ratings MEAN, but the best story I ever heard was about somebody who took 2 little kids-- both under 10-- into "Pan's Labryinth" DESPITE the people at the counter warning people it was a strong R rating.

She was heard to say "But I thought it was Disney, Peter pan and all," even after she stayed through a few scenes, including the beheading and "THAT scene".

Her kids had started crying long since. Maybe she was in shock, but HONESTLY.

U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops do rate movies as well.

Pan's Labryinth is rated A-III: Adults. No adolescents (R). Same as Michael Clayton, and the Passion of the Christ, with a summary of why (torture scenes vs foul language is a big difference.)

On the other hand, the 40-year old virgin is rated O for morally offensive. The review summarizes why relatively well.

I think the take-home lesson is: don't watch adult movies with people who you don't feel comfortable being peers with, or otherwise exploring the difference in your tolerance/sense of humor.

Posted by: Wilbrod | August 6, 2008 11:08 PM | Report abuse

Now that is a funny story, martooni! It would be very hard to top it.

Back from Much Ado about Nothing. It was certainly worth the price (free, but donations accepted, I gave). The venue is intimate, but not so intimate that we could understand every word that was said, especially when the actors weren't facing our direction. Still, it's a funny play, and Mr. T noted that I laughed a lot. Dogsberry was great, Benedick not so easy to understand.

Yoki, there are no slacker moms on Achenblog, by definition. If you're here, you couldn't possibly be.

Ivansmom, I remember being shocked when you talked about Titus.

I suppose the truth is that sex and violence have always sold. Even the Greeks were into it.

G'night all. Such a relief to have the boodle back.

Posted by: slyness | August 6, 2008 11:37 PM | Report abuse

I watch a lot of movies, at home, on dvd. I can scroll through all the gory parts.

I'll watch most movies, but I absolutely cannot watch horror, movies. I have a very tough time with suspense and find it impossible to watch most Hitchcock movies all the way through. I think it was the result of watching a movie about Richard III when I was younger.

I had a friend over, for a summer sleepover and we were watching the midnite movie. We sat on the couch and I spent most of my time under the blanket, with my friend giving me a running commentary. She has remained normal, I have not.

Now if we are talking movies with my in laws and parents, don't go past Roy Rogers, except for The Sound of Music. Everybody likes the Sound of Music.

While we aren't talking musical movies, does anyone remember a movie called Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? I love that old musical. It will pair nicely with Yours Mine and Ours with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball.

Posted by: dr | August 6, 2008 11:41 PM | Report abuse

I find I cannot watch any violence in movies or TV programs anymore. And it seems this aversion happened after 9/11. Watching from the first, seeing people jumping -- scraped all my nerve endings quite raw, and they have remained that way.

Posted by: nellie | August 6, 2008 11:49 PM | Report abuse

This is odd: It's pledge month on PBS and they're showing The Clash, "Revolution Rock". Nothing like the Clash to bring the anarchists on board.

Skip Caray passed away. He had such a dry sense of humour. One time the camera caught a player making an adjustment and stuck with it long enough for Caray to quip: "Grab them gamers..."

Posted by: jack | August 6, 2008 11:57 PM | Report abuse

martooni, that story is hilarious.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | August 7, 2008 12:11 AM | Report abuse

Evening all

It has gotten loud here at night,with the crickets and the tree frogs, they sure make a racket. I guess it is better then listening to the beltway in a previous life. I think you all know my fascination with trains. I guess it has something to do with my dad being a railroad man for 35 years. Still here with all this night noise,I can still here the trains on the other side of the mountain going in and out of the many tunnels there.I saw a coal train yesterday and got some nice pictures of it crossing the river on an old bridge.

life is good again and I feel great!!

Posted by: greenwithenvy | August 7, 2008 12:29 AM | Report abuse

Martooni, as the Lord is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Posted by: Wilbrod | August 7, 2008 3:22 AM | Report abuse

That's what happens when you stay up this late, Wilbrod... ;)

My uncomfortable moment with parents involved music...

I was perhaps 14 or 15, and headed home after a day of skiing, with Dad driving. I popped in a recorded-off-the-air cassette that included a song, "88 Lines about 44 Girls." The songwriter apparently had met a Turkish lady named Tanya who preferred to "engage" while keeping her biker boots on. The Wirty Dird Filter prevents me from using the actual word for "engaging" that rhymes with "cluck."

Dad ejected the tape at that point and the rest of the ride was rather silent.

But I did get the tape back. :-)

*hoping-for-a-near-normal-Boodling-kinda-day Grover waves*

Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 4:50 AM | Report abuse

Favre to the Jets...

*shrug & yawn*

Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 4:57 AM | Report abuse

God loves us so much more than we can imagine through Him that died for all, Jesus Christ.

Good morning, friends. So glad to be back. I only wanted to check in, I'm on my way out the door. My dad has a test early this morning, so I want to get over before he leaves. Have a great day, folks. It is still quite hot here, check on your elderly neighbors.

Morning Scotty.Mudge, Martooni, Slyness, get up folks, a new day has begun. Morning, all.*waving*

Posted by: cassandra s | August 7, 2008 5:20 AM | Report abuse

'Morning, Boodle. I see Scotty and Cassandra are already up, so our Dawn Patrol stalwarts are already in the air. Now, for the rest of you...

Really not much on the WaPo home page or op-ed columns. Maybe that's good, I dunno.

Scotty, that whole Favre debacle is one of the saddest stories in all of sports. If he wanted to quit, he should have just done so -- and gone out a hero and an icon. And he just turned this whole mess into a really bad soap opera. Favre playing for the Jets? That's about like Babe Ruth playing for the Mudhens.

OK, gotta run.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 5:45 AM | Report abuse

Bonjour, le Boodle!

Today is a good day to do a strafing run on the Guantanamo Military Comissions.

The way the Hamdan trial was carried out makes my book, KINGMAKER sound like non-fiction and makes me look like a sort of prophet.

Posted by: Alexey | August 7, 2008 6:17 AM | Report abuse

Hey you all, the best movie I have watched with my Mother was "To Kill a Mocking Bird", one of my all time favorites.

It's funny about suspense/violence. In 1960 we saw "Psyco".(sp). We were newly weds living in an apartment which had only a shower stall, and it was creepy to me, even tho it was just an innocent fixture for bathing.

Now, "Braveheart" was just as bloody as could be, but that movie I had no problem watching. "The Bourne Trilogy"? So fast and interesting, I was facinated, but sad when the girlfriend was killed.

For pure vulgar language, "Beverely Hills Cop" is a good example.

Posted by: VintageLady | August 7, 2008 7:09 AM | Report abuse

Cefaloni's opens in 20 min. Lavazza brewing, there and hot zeppelina loaves baking. WiFi intermitant. Hey techies! Does wifi depend on the number of users congesting the band?

Is wifi sensitive to weather and humidity?

Take care; 'tis Thursday and Friday is on the horizon.

Posted by: CP in OC | August 7, 2008 7:12 AM | Report abuse

Forgot "Silence of the Lambs" (how could I!), one of the great suspense movies, but I couldn't watch the cop feeding the caged Hanibel, just knew what was comin', closed my eyes and said "tell me when it's over". :-)

Posted by: VintageLady | August 7, 2008 7:14 AM | Report abuse

'Mudge, I have this hope, absurd as it is, that the first time Favre gets behind the Jets center and calls, "Hike!" the entire offense just goes limp and lets the defense through.


Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 7:17 AM | Report abuse

My mother took me to The Exorcist when I was 14 because I had read the book when I was 11. Still a scary movie.

A friend who is a Jimmy Buffett fan had to fast forward through "Let's Get Drunk and..." whenever her daughters were in the car.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 7:23 AM | Report abuse

Good morning, everybody!

I was up late and then of course overslept. Oh well.

Not much going on here. Mr. T was exercised last night about the nine firefighters presumed dead in northern California. This is not helping the effort to cut firefighter fatalities way down. Annually, we lose around a hundred a year, most to heart attacks and vehicle crashes. Attempts to make the numbers decline are not being successful. It's a real shame.

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 7:25 AM | Report abuse

I remember my parents taking all of us to Paint Your Wagon, the movie, in Baltimore. I must have been 13 or 14 and enjoyed it for being a generic movie we all had a great time seeing together. But on the car ride home, my parents admitted they couldn't enjoy it due to the risqué scenes. What risqué scenes? I remember thinking. Then again, it may have been Clint Eastwood's singing.

Posted by: bertson | August 7, 2008 7:46 AM | Report abuse

'morning all. CP, please fax me a pepperoni&cheese sandwich.
I love the NYT editorial on the Hamdam verdict:Guilty as ordered.

The crackpot who recently had her dog cloned was kidnapping Mormon missionaries for s3x 25 years ago. I'm not good at facial recognition but she is hard to miss.

Posted by: shrieking denizen | August 7, 2008 8:16 AM | Report abuse

Mornin' all...

Just passing through on my way for a second cup of wake-up juice.

Glad you liked the story about my Mom and the illegal satellite TV decoder chip incident. We laughed about that for years afterward. I'm so lucky to have had a parent with a sense of humor as warped as mine (though she was probably the one who instilled that warped sense in me).

Anyway... Obama was in town Tuesday for a town hall meeting and (dangit!) I couldn't go. I did manage to catch it live in its entirety, which made me even more mad that I couldn't be there. He won over a quite a few local Ohioans for Hillary voters that day, as well as independent fence-sitters. Whoever says the guy doesn't know how to talk to working-class voters has obviously never seen him speak to said voters.

One of the things he brought up was a national network of high speed rail lines -- first I'd heard him mention it. The audience reaction was positive (if not enthusiastic) at first, but when he said the magic word "steel" and that a project of this scope would need lots of it, the crowd was all ears and cheers.

Time to get to it... little doors don't sand and finish themselves, y'know.

Peace out... :-)

Posted by: martooni | August 7, 2008 8:25 AM | Report abuse

Martooni, I suspect I speak for a lot of Boodlers when I say that you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear from time to time that your door business is thriving, and for a couple of different reasons I don't even have to go into.

Just thought that needed saying.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 8:52 AM | Report abuse

Watership Down - A nice cartoon movie about a colony of fuzzy little bunnies. The R rating in the newspaper must have been a misprint, or so my mother thought.

Posted by: DandyLion | August 7, 2008 8:55 AM | Report abuse

My younger daughter, stuck in college and stuck at home until she graduates, is older than my wife was when my wife gave birth to her. (Did that come out right?) Yet, she seems to be clueless about a lot of cultural references to anything older than she is. So, often we spend much of a movie explaining things to her.

She was asked by some friends to recite the opening, introductory, soliloquy from the movie "V for Vendeta". Nary a word in it was familiar to her. We rented the movie; it took her two weeks to figure it all out. I gotta admit that movie was wierd.

Posted by: Don from I-270 | August 7, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Happy BC day. Not that bc, the other BC.

Posted by: omni | August 7, 2008 9:31 AM | Report abuse

Really tired from last night's trip downtown to hear eco-photographer Chris Jordan, whose presentation was underwritten by Texas Public Radio. There is so much to say, but I'm feeling worn out this morning and must save my energy for some other important tasks.

Last night, I was able to talk to Seattle photographer Jordan for about a minute, tops, before the TPR woman whisked him away to a private reception. I mentioned to Jordan that I was impressed by his image of Ben Franklin, comprised on one-dollar bills. I mentioned the family-owned Crane paper company in Dalton, Mass., had provided the rag paper for American paper currency for well over 100 years. Jordan said that he uses Crane paper for his images.

Jordan also had a collector of sharks' teeth loan him about $20,000 worth of the fossilized teeth so that Jordan could photograph them to create his series to raise awareness about the worldwide practice of shark finning (and subsequent slaughter of sharks). I mentioned the best source of fossilized sharks teeth-since I have some sitting in a dish on my coffee table, a gift from my closest high school male friend--come from the Kern River Canyon area. Come to find out, Jordan came by his from a collector named Ron in Bakersfield, whom I figure is Ron Barnes.

Jordan's personal odyssey is fascinating. His father was a photographer, his mother a watercolorist. Jordan became interested in photography while working on his law degree at UT Austin. After five years as a coroporate lawyer, he was extremely well-paid, but becoming increasingly unhappy. Then he started wandering around Seattle with his camera. This is the short version of the story.

To get a flavor of Jordan and his images, I'm linking to an 11-minute video of Jordan speaking at last year's TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) Conference in Monterey, California.

Posted by: Loomis | August 7, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Not that there's anything wrong with a happy bc day.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 9:41 AM | Report abuse

I guess Martooni wont be voting for Paris

(sorry, someone had to post the llink:-)

Posted by: DNA Girl | August 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Report abuse

{* popping in for more coffee *}

Thanks, Mudge.

Don... have you tried "Dr. Strangelove" on her yet? When I went back to school a few years back, my philosophy prof had us watch it and write a short essay about it as an extra credit assignment. I couldn't believe how far that one flew over the heads of my young classmates.

{* off to my caffeine-induced impersonation of a ping-pong ball in a lottery machine now *}

Posted by: martooni | August 7, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Bobby Charlton?

Bill Cosby?

Barbara Carrera?


Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

The good thing about My Cousin Vinny is that it loses nothing by being "cleaned up" for TV. Just substitute "friggin'" everywhere and the story stays the same.. it was one of my mom's favorite movies.

Now The Big Lebowski... when we first got DirecTV and all the movie channels, I walked into the house one day and Dr G was watching The Big Lebowski. The kids were much younger then and I was appalled at the language and asked him to please turn it down.

By the end of the movie, all four of us Gs were in the family room watching it, drawn to it one by one. It is one hilarious movie.

My name is TBG and I am a Slacker Mom.

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 9:54 AM | Report abuse

Bing Crosby, Scotty. Jeez, do I hafta do all the heavy thinkin' around here?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Well, it could be Ballast Control, 'Mudge...

Then again, you keep your boats ABOVE the water, so perhaps not.


Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

And a Happy Emancipation Day to you, omni!

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

My OX laptop is in a large ziplock....good wifi at shore, somehow. Since I cannot play in wave, am reduced to chicklet-keys typing.....would like to haiku at y'll but somehow that turf is occupied. Shall couplet at y' all:

Before me the sheltering sea
Aside me taut girls from JerSEE

Further down, accents, otherweese
Invoke Long Ilse or Brooklynese....

Posted by: CP in OC | August 7, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

oops. BCD was Monday.

ADD is everyday

Posted by: omni | August 7, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

I have no living parents or grandparents, but I do have in-laws and other older relatives. I find as I myself age that these people are closer to friends and peers than "old people", and I want to socialize with them, including watching movies. I'd never assume they wouldn't want to watch something I'd like, nor would I insist that they watch movies by themselves. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'd be comfortable watching a steamy scene with my in-laws. Nope. Not going there.

Also, depending on the movie and the child, some young kids can see some PG movies. The Boy saw the first "Star Wars" movies while very young, fostering a happy obsession which lasted through elementary school. When I just couldn't stand another Disney cartoon, I'd put on an old James Bond (Sean Connery, of course). Every so often I'd tell him that this part is age-inappropriate and he'd cover his eyes. I, too, am a slacker mom.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 7, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

TBG, I read historical novels as a kid. I remember one about Mary Queen of Scots that I read before my mother got to it. She said she wouldn't have let me read it, if she had read it first. Dunno why, there wasn't any gratuitious sex or violence. I mean, any more than actually occurred and was documented in primary sources.

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Hmmm, slacker moms. Somehow I think the offspring have grown up straight and true because of our slackerness.

I remember Fail Safe and The Bridge over the River Kwai as the movies we watched on junior high church retreat. Heavy, heavy stuff. I didn't get much out of the latter movie; the acoustics in the room were so bad I only understood about one word in five.

One of my buddies is responsible for the program on faith and church membership for the fifth and sixth graders. They do a weekend retreat and watch To Kill a Mockingbird and discuss it for two whole days. It's a revelation to the kids.

"Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passing."

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

G'morning, all.

Mudge, bc day is not for awhile yet. No need to even mention it.

CP, as you're alluding, traffic contention on any network device such as a WiFi router *is* highly likely to reduce throughput for any individual node on the network.

A serious dork might go off on a tangent about why Ethernet, TCP/IP, and particularly CSMA/CD are poor choices for building networks (not even going to talk about routing and switching), but that horse left the barn over 20 years ago.

Don, pretty much everything the Wachowski brothers have done is weird, from "Bound" to "The Matrix" (The Matrices?) to "Speed Racer." Still, they have their moments. I never did see "V," but I did read the graphic novel...

Brett Farve -- I can't help but think of Johnny Unitas in a San Diego Chargers uniform. Oy.


Posted by: bc | August 7, 2008 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Slacker Moms unite!

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Important political news: like the Gene Pool, the Achenblog is not listed among those that the McCain campaign suggests should be spammed with prewritten McCain talking points. "The Fix", however, is listed as a "moderate" site.

Posted by: PlainTim | August 7, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Well if covering eyes, ears rather than preventing watching the movie in its entirety counts.

I am a slacker mom.

As a seven year old I went to Little Big Man and A Man Called Horse - apparently they couldn't get a babysitter for me or wanted a true family movie night.

Slacker second generation.

Posted by: dmd | August 7, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Dissed by the McCainiacs!

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 7, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

My kids' theme song should be the one by David Byrne/Talking Heads that begins "I was born in a house with the television always on."

But they're more likely to walk into the room and turn it off.

This contrasts with friends of mine who were very limiting on how much TV their kids could watch. Whenever I was at their house, the constant refrain from the kids was "Can I watch TV?" and when they were finally allowed, they sat staring at whatever they landed on first.

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

So so sad to hear that CP cannot frolic. Wonder how the CPboy is enjoying the taut girls from JerSEE. Now that's on-kit, but in real life. Enjoying the view on the beach, with your mom by your side. Could get, um, awkward, no?

Posted by: Don from I-270 | August 7, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

I think you guys have identified a possible winner with "Love Actually," particularly since the whole point of the film appears on the surface to be sweet, warm, fuzzy holiday fun. I've seen that movie more than once and STILL would have completely forgotten about the mock porn scenes. Potential mortification lurks everywhere.

Posted by: Caitlin Gibson | August 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Hey, Boodle. I need to do an approximate head count for planning purposes on who is planning on attending the October Mega-BPH. Please respond her in the Boodle as soon as possible ONLY if you ARE planning to attend (please include number of people you are bringing: husbands, wives, attorneys, guardians, children, significant [or even insignificant] others, mothers [Hi, mo’s mom], etc. All of these are welcome.)

Please do NOT respond here if you have already been contacted by e-mail first. This request is ONLY for people whose e-mail I don't have; I don't want to clog up the kit with responses and what-not. But we don't want to leave anybody out, either.

(Meaning: check your e-mail first before you respond here.)

Thank you. You may now return to discussing off-color movies you watched when your folks weren't around.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Caitlin... you guys have all been talking about that mock porn scene and I've seen the movie a couple of times and still can't bring it to mind.

But again, it could be like the hot scene RD mentioned from Sound of Music.

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Hehehe, TBG. We didn't watch a lot of TV when my kids were small. The Gulf War started when Geekdottir was five. She couldn't understand why we couldn't pause the news long enough for her to go to the bathroom. All she had ever known was videos at school.

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Caitlin, it is easy to forget the mock porn scenes (which I thought were hilarious). But it is even easier to forget that some scenes take place in an art gallery, where there are giant artsy photographs on the wall, in the semi-Mapplethorpe style, ostensibly with a Christmas theme--but which you'd NEVER want Santa's Elves to look at.

Remember now? Yeah, *those* photos.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

I'll be there, Mudge!

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

*sigh* TBG, please follow the instructions carefully. Thank you. (And head count, please?)

Herding cats, I swear.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse


Here is my head to be counted for the Mega BPH

Posted by: Brag | August 7, 2008 11:08 AM | Report abuse

I was startled to discover a Robert Mapplethorpe photography calendar on the desk of the school secretary at our local middle school. I was even more startled to discover that this wasn't some form of subtle subversiveness -- neither she nor any of the other staff had a clue that there might be any sort of controversy associated with the photographer. The contents of the photos, by the way, did not explore the territory that brought notoriety to his name.

Posted by: PlainTim | August 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

i went to a mapplethorpe exhibit a long time ago. now *that* is something i would never take my mother to.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | August 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

My problem with Love Actually is the improbability of the [DWF euphemism ahead] pr0n stand-in scenes. These are very graphic full nude scenes that a very large crew is filming. Even in R-rated studio movies, the level of explicitness in what they were staging is rare.

From what I've heard about the more adult oriented movies, they are filmed very quickly on small budgets and don't have elaborate stand-ins for light checks. Heck, since the invention of [more DWF substitution] male E-D medications they don't even have fluffers any more.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Meant to add, I see that Jose Saramago's novel "Blindness" has been made into a film starring Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo (lookin' a lot like Harry Hamlin these days, I think).

If they've stayed faithful to the book, it's going to be rated "R."

Not something to watch with Mom or the kids, I'd say.


Posted by: bc | August 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

When did this e-mail go out?

Had the strangest dream last night. I woke up while still dreaming, and thought am I really awake. I opened my eyes and sat up, and sure enough the dream images faded as soon as my eyes were opened. Strange.

Then at six my alarm woke me up. Except I don't have that alarm clock anymore. I turned my bedside light on and the sound faded.

Posted by: omni | August 7, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

One other mistake movie from Mudge's past, IIRC.

Don't rent "Fritz the Cat" and show it to the kids.

It's an animated movie about a cat, but he's no Garfield.


Posted by: bc | August 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Almost jumped off a bridge after trying to watch a Mad Max movie with my mom. It was Xmas ... the whole family jammed into the family room to watch some mindless TV. Mom just couldn't follow it ... asked questions and snorted in derision throughout.

Mom: "Why'd he spit on his hand before they shook hands?"

Me: "I dunno, Mom. It's just something they do in the dystopian future."

Mom: "Oh, for crying out loud."

Pretty funny now, but exasperating at the time.

Posted by: KPage | August 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

My mother tries to embarrass me with references to her allegedly still active love life. She also tries to tell dirty jokes, but does it poorly. You can take the Puritan out of New England, but...

MBPH Head Count: I WON'T be there. Oh, you only wanted the counts of people that will be there. Nevermind.

Let me go check my e-mail.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

I subscribe to the let the kids figure it out for themselves (within reason) school of thought. When we went to City Lights in San Francisco when my son was about thirteen, he bought a book called "Slow River" that had won a Lambda Award for gay-themed science fiction. After making sure he really wanted that book I let him read it. I asked him how it was. He said pretty good except for the lesbian six scenes.

From City Lights we went to another book store and my son had to go to the bathroom. I took him next door to a bar but we only got half way to the bathrooms when one of the employees shoved him back out to the street mumbling that they would lose their license if she let him in. For the record, there was no nudity going on and no indication outside that it was an adults-only establishment.

I then explained that that part of San Francisco was how Times Square used to be before we started seeing Broadway shows there all the time.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

Mr. & Mrs. Nuke will be attending the MegaBPH.


Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

We were just in that part of San Francisco, yello! We visited City Lights and also the Beat Museum around the corner. Dr G was pointing out the famous strip clubs to the kids like they were important historical places. (On second thought, maybe to him they were.)

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

SCC: "lesbian sex scenes" and there were fewer than six of them. It is a good book. All about a super sophisticated waste reclamation plant where everything is not what it seems to be. But they don't make Soylent Green or anything.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Good to hear they haven't cleaned it up any in the past five years.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

My wife and I went to see 'Pulp Fiction' and the only two seats left in the theater we could see were right next to my parents. Mom and Dad were laughing as hard as anyone, but the 'holiest of holies' scene was rather uncomfortable.

Posted by: Kdog | August 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Ms. dbG will be attending the megaBPH. Probably solo, but one can always hope.

Posted by: dbG | August 7, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

KPage, your mom probably won't be interested to learn this, but spitting in one's hand before a handshake is an old custom; the spitting is considered as something that seals the deal (one wouldn't spit in a handshake of greeting, only in a handshake of agreement in a negotiation). It seems to have been used by farmers at farmer's markets, for instance. It was generally considered uncouth by polite society, and seems to have more or less faded away -- except for various modern incidents when it is being done by some athletes (such as Little Leaguers) who do it as a form of insult to the opposing team (and is *much* frowned upon as poor sportsmanship). But the main reason it appeared in the Mad Max movie was in that context and among those people, it was meant to signify sealing a deal.

I seem to recollect a reference to it in Huckleberry Finn, too, but haven't tracked it down yet.


Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

'Mudge, it also has some benefit for left-handed power hitters, apparently...


Posted by: Scottynuke | August 7, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

yello -- I think there is (or was) a state-wide law in California about no one under the legal drinking age being allowed in bars. The bar doesn't have to say "adults only," it is a given.

Posted by: nellie | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

True, Scotty. But note that baseball has all sorts of formalized spitting rituals, without which the game could not proceed. And that's not even counting the tobacco chewers.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

The most embarrassing video-viewing-with-Mom came a couple of Christmases ago. My brother had given me a wine appreciation DVD featuring John Cleese (really!) and we all settled in after dinner to watch it. Right after the FBI warning came 10 seconds of hard core p0rn. We all stopped talking, looked at each other, and--reversed the video to see if we had really seen what we thought we did. It didn't appear again. Then, as if we had the same thought simultaneously (my God, did Mom see that?), all 5 of us turned to her. Mom's apparently either hadn't seen it or clearly didn't want to discuss it. And Mom's not known for her poker face.

Posted by: Raysmom | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

The date of the megaBPH, please.

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Several years ago my husband and I watched Analyze This with my parents. They laughed at the funny parts, but commented about ruining such a good movie with so much language.

On the other side of that I gave in to begging and let my almost 5 year old watch Transformers (the movie). There was a funny enough scene between mother and son that made me laugh (son was locked, presumably alone in his bedroom) and then realized that after a certain age I won't be able to watch young male-oriented movies with my son anymore.

Posted by: MadisonMama | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

I am the opposite of a slacker mom. We value independence highly, and I am proud of having "dropped her off at the curb" at the airport when she left for her freshman year of college, so I'm no helicopter mom either. But I believe in protecting the innocence of children. I agree with TBG's implication that limiting television only makes the kids feel like they're missing something. Not having it in the house at all is a different thing. I did not want my daughter to see tv news or commercials. Racy movies weren't even a question (except when she was a tiny baby: the very first movie she attended was "Fatal Attraction" at age 3 weeks. I hope that didn't warp her little brain.) She never felt as if she were missing something--and she doesn't feel that way today.

As far as protecting her innocence, I think we succeeded up to about age 12 or so and then she made up for lost time by reading vampire books and horror books and soon after she had the internet and then anime and then she went goth and oh well...but I did what I could for her when she was young.

If there is a downside to being the opposite of a slacker mom, it's that the offspring doesn't want to have kids because she thinks it's too much work. A slacker mom, I assume, makes it all look effortless, and therefore increases the chances of passing on the genetic material to the next generation. On the other hand, when I was 20, I had no plans to reproduce, either, so it's too soon to write off the future of my DNA entirely.

Posted by: kbertocci | August 7, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

Weekend of October 4, Yoki. Wags!

Posted by: dbG | August 7, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

Ms. slyness accepts with pleasure Mr. Curmudgeon's kind invitation for Saturday, October 4th.

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Hi All!

I intend to be at the Mega-BPH.

Posted by: Moose | August 7, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for clearing that up, nellie. I know of several places that institute age restrictions after a certain hour, but this was mid-afternoon and the place was a sports bar. A guy can't have some drinks and watch some games with his minor son in CA? Seems odd.

I tried to Google this but I got the following warning from our ultra-tight firewall: This site is blocked by the SonicWALL Content Filter Service. Forbidden Category "Education"

We were able to find a take-out Chinese place that let him use the facilities before any disaster. The availability of clean public restrooms is another of the advantages of Europe over the US. With the definition of clean varying by country.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, we're looking at Saturday, Oct. 4, with the event starting in late afternoon (happy hour-ish) or maybe later. Lots of options and variables being discussed, but for planning purposes assume a start time in the 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. range. Location unknown, but looking quite like venue will NOT be M&S (not enough room).

Just started sprinkling here, with some thunder in the distance.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Ok.. we're talking about bathrooms! Woo hoo!

Has anyone been in one of those public toilets on the sidewalks that spray themselves clean after each use? The one I used was in Boston about 5 years ago. Very cool.

And how about that Charmin public bathroom extravaganza on Times Square a couple of Christmastimes ago? I think yellojkt blogged about that one.

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

I interpret slacker mom as letting small children play with razor blades. Everything else is imparting values. And if you can't do it by twelve, the battle is lost.

We walked our son to the security line. Before he was eighteen you could get wavers to go to the gate. We will see him this weekend, but it won't be the same. We went all day Tuesday without communication, but I caught my wife IMing him yesterday.

It's a gradual withdrawal. About a year ago he would start mentioning movies and we'd ask "Where'd you see that?" If the answer was plausible we dropped it.

A couple of years ago, I found some hardcore anime on my computer, but he's been very discrete and cleaning up after himself. I couldn't find anything on the computer after he left for college, but I reformatted the hard drive anyways.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

TBG, I used one of those bathrooms in Paris about 20 years ago. Very clean, but the drawback is, there was a time limit and when the time was up, the door just opened, ready or not. That was a little nerve-wracking. Or motivating, if you look at it another way. Plus the fact that it was right on the sidewalk was a little weird. Still, what a blessing to have clean public restrooms when you need them, unlike most American cities where you have to find a restaurant and buy something before you're allowed to "rest."

Posted by: kbertocci | August 7, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

I sure did.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 7, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

the rule for the DL kids is that if they have read the book, hey can watch the movie.

However this priveledge is not extended to every version of Snow White, Goldilocks, or Cinderella...

Posted by: DandyLion | August 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure it out, but the best public bathrooms are in hotel lobbies. This is true in any downtown or even on the road.

Need to pee? Find a Comfort Inn or a Best Western on the road. Walk right in and find the lobby restroom. They're usually spotless and no one really uses them much. Most guests just go to their room if the need arises.

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Ah, kbertocci, slacker moms making it all look easy - I only wish! The Boy would certainly tell you I spend a great deal of time watching out for him. We are lucky in that, thanks to early training, he does some self-selection. He hasn't yet tried to push us on either inappropriate TV or unsupervised Internet access. My folks always let me read what I wanted, assuming that I'd find the really age-inappropriate stuff uninteresting. It worked for me and so far it seems to work for him. There are a few books we put way up on the top shelf so he's unlikely to find them (Didion's S.A. war book, with pictures; medieval torture).

These days we discuss the TV news, though I admit we usually watch Jon Stewart (frightening social implications there). When he was younger I was vigilant about TV news - I didn't even want CNN playing. I'm convinced of the power of visual images. We always used commercials as learning tools, though. Every time one came on I'd ask him what it was trying to sell him, and how.

Yellojkt, most states outlaw minors in the "bar" area - even sports bars. Most sports bars have an eating area separate from the bar, so you can take your kids. No separate area, no minors.

Posted by: Ivansmom | August 7, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

yello, good luck with your transition. It's a weird time when they are in college because they do still need parents but they also need to get out there and experience success and failure on their own. It's not always easy to walk that line (For the parents, I mean, it's not easy. I think the kids are pretty much unaware of the issue.)

* * *
Oh, and I'm a "maybe" for the megaBPH. Want to but don't know if I can.
* * *

Now I have to go do some work for the next 4 hours.

Posted by: kbertocci | August 7, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse


Click on the video...totally funny

Paris Hilton is like HOT.

Posted by: omni | August 7, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

At least they didn't have a blood pact in Mad Max (they could have, though).

In baseball, I'd suspect they'd call it a chew pact - there may be more tobacco juice flowing through some guys' veins than blood...

I played enough ball myself to have tried chewing tobacco. Never did figure out what the attraction was other than the nicotine acts as a mild stimulant.

Until one swallows it.

["Hey, why's the shortstop calling time out?"

"Why's he trotting woozily past third and bending over - oh, *my!*]

Not one of my better on-field moments.


Posted by: bc | August 7, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

No one has asked who, or which Marisa Katz we are dealing with here. So I will.
Hello, Marisa Katz? This is Jumper.
You, you might as well come with me,
When you ride the ride
There's talk, and I don't wanna talk...
...Come down and dance with me, dance with me. You got nobody left but me.

Posted by: Jumper | August 7, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Jumper... I was wondering about Marisa Katz, too. And what's with the "voices"?

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

for the mega bph i am a definite...maybe.

i really don't like paris hilton, but that response ad is quite funny and her energy plan amusingly decent.

Posted by: L.A. lurker | August 7, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

I believe that I can commit to myself and the Science (etc.) Spouse attending the Mega-BPH.

Posted by: The *Tims | August 7, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

I'll be attending, all by myself. I just bought my ticket (non-refundable) and got a hotel (an hotel?) room, so I'm about as committed as it is possible to be while still living.

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Occurs to me that I just unintentionally sounded kind of "stalky" (a new word I just made up!) I found two likely Marisa Katzes on the Google, and figured an obscure lyric like that, one of them would know instantly, and the other no way.

In any case, "your grandparents and Ralph Fiennes " is the rare bird, a Googleuno.

Posted by: Jumper | August 7, 2008 1:22 PM | Report abuse

The perils of Googlestalking:

Posted by: Jumper | August 7, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse




Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

I'm so excited! Too fun.

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

So now it's officially the International Mega BPH!

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

I wonder if we can track down the original Achenwaitress and get her to attend as a guest?

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

That was good Omni and thanks for the link.
Also glad you got into Elizabeth Reed the other day. ABB has some great songs,but live they are something else. Sat in the 3rd row at MPP many years back and they played for almost 4 hours. Wow what a show.

Count me in for the mega BPH and I do still have hotel connections if any out of towners need lodging.

Posted by: greenwithenvy | August 7, 2008 1:36 PM | Report abuse

Um, not true with regards Marisa, I asked Tuesday at 11:53.

Posted by: omni | August 7, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

I'm in for the big BPH. Raysdad is a definite maybe (he's got a bit of "worlds colliding" apprehension).

Posted by: Raysmom | August 7, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

You can't really blame him, can you? I'd quake in my boots if I ever had to meet Himself's imaginary friends.

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Same with Mr. T. He may drive up with me, but he's not gonna party.

Posted by: slyness | August 7, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

New kit about TOMATOES!!

Posted by: Kim | August 7, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Yoki, I was going to suggest you fly to TO and we could drive down - don't have a convertible but perhaps we could have our scarves flying from the sun roof :-).

I want to go but have to make family arrangements before I can commit.

Posted by: dmd | August 7, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Uh uh. I'd love to, you know that, but I just can't. I've seen you in Thelma mode and it is freakin' *terrifying.*

Posted by: Yoki | August 7, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

A word... don't watch "The Guru" with your elderly pastor unless you have a non-christian roommate who suggests it first. The "porn acting lessons" alone make it seem more suitably X rather than R.

Posted by: Wilbrod | August 7, 2008 2:49 PM | Report abuse

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