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Posted at 5:00 AM ET, 12/21/2010

So you want to be a teacher?

By Valerie Strauss

Here’s a video -- with some of my favorite dialogue below -- guaranteed to make you laugh and cry. This is about an aspiring teacher talking to a veteran and was created by David Kazzie, whose mother and sister are both teachers.

Earlier videos in the laugh/cry series are: on collaborative planning,
on becoming a professor, and on going to law school (which was also created by Kazzie).

Here’s some of my favorite dialogue from the teacher video:

Student: I really want to become an elementary school teacher.

Teacher: Thank God.

Student: I know. There is such a shortage of good teachers.

Teacher: No. I meant there is still time to save you.

Student: But I want to work with children.

Teacher: They do not want to work with you.

Student: I’m so excited about shaping young minds. Whitney Houston was right.

Teacher: I’m not sure I’d rely on Whitney Houston as the authority on anything requiring coherent thought.

Student: I know exactly which school I want to teach in. It’s in the suburbs and it’s right across the street from a farm. It’s very pretty.

Teacher: Yes, because they give the plum teaching jobs to new teachers. That’s exactly how the world works.

Student: Oh. Well, where do you think they will assign me?

Teacher: Have you ever been to the city jail?

Student: No. Why?

Teacher: No reason. I bet you love that show, ‘Glee.’

Student: I do love that show. It’s terrific. I hope my school is like that.

Teacher: The good news is that teaching is very similar to a show on FOX. The bad news is that it is ‘Prison Break’....

Student: I’m really excited about preparing these children for the challenges of adolescence and adulthood.

Teacher: Do you know fifth graders are smoking marijuana and making feature-length movies on their cell phones?.

Student: I have a Droid. i can’t figure out how to send pictures on it.

Teacher: Are you prepared to handle a never-ending flow of parents who sincerely believe that their child is exceptional and that they are not just saying it because it is their kid?

Student: I look forward to working with involved parents.

Teacher: Are you ready to have your heart and soul destroyed when you see a child full of promise living in a crack house and coming to school hungry?

Student: 'Stand and Deliver' is one of my favorite movies.

Teacher: Are you prepared to go eight hours between bathroom breaks?

Student: I don’t eat or drink much during the day.

Teacher: Good. Because you won’t have time to.

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By Valerie Strauss  | December 21, 2010; 5:00 AM ET
Categories:  Laugh and cry, Teachers  | Tags:  fox show, glee, glee on fox, prison break, so you want to be a teacher, teacher shortage, teachers, teachers and glee  
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Next: How a teachers' union actually helped kids (not just adults)


I have to go to the doctor now; I'm laughing so hard I may have pulled a muscle!

Posted by: pdexiii | December 21, 2010 6:52 AM | Report abuse

I teach high school seniors and from time to time, I will have a kid ask about going into teaching....I always tell them, " don't waste your time or talent."

Posted by: ohiggins51 | December 21, 2010 9:20 AM | Report abuse

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