THE LIST: How NOT to Raise Kids
(The following list of things NOT to do is just for fun. Nobody would really do this stuff, right?)
1) Drag your three young children onto a tasteless reality TV show called “Wife Swap."
2) Tell your kids they’re allowed to cuss inside the house but not in public--then let them make a curse-laden rap video and post it on YouTube.
3) Take them on storm-chasing expeditions, into the eye of the hurricane or tornado, protected only by your car and alleged good judgment.
4) Build an experimental helium-filled balloon saucer in your backyard and allow your kids to play around it unsupervised.
5) When the balloon is accidentally released, call your local television station and tell them your 6-year-old just might be inside it. Ask for help from the station’s traffic helicopter.
6) Look super anguished as the media gloms onto the story, law enforcement officials search for your son--especially after people report seeing something fall out of the balloon--and airplanes are diverted from the area.
7) After your son is found unharmed, be super-relieved, but not relieved enough to quietly deal with the issue in the privacy of your home.
8) Exploit your child by making the rounds of the morning news shows.
9) Keep doing interviews even though your child is so tired he’s dozing off on camera.
10) Don't stop interviews, even if he says he’s going to vomit, or actually gets sick on camera.
11) Make sure your son goes on live television and says, “We did this for a show.”
| October 16, 2009; 12:30 PM ET
Categories: Parents | Tags: balloon boy, parenting
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