McNabb Bowl I - By the numbers

By Jason Woodmansee

Look at the bright side -- um, well... I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Hey, the game is being broadcast to 98% of the country -- at least it’s nice to have the Redskins nationally relevant again. Here is my personal breakdown of the game:

3. Times this week I’ve said, “Yeah, but Vick hasn’t faced a good defense yet” before remembering that the Redskins don’t have a good defense.

8. Number of times I will complain about Troy Aikman broadcasting the game, followed by randomly yelling “How’s your head, Troy??” at the TV.

6. Number of times I’ll watch this clip of Lavar Arrington ending Aikman’s career to calm down.

2. Number of passes McNabb will throw at a receiver’s feet prompting my friends who are Eagles fans to taunt me on Facebook.

3. Number of times I’ll miss Yuengling & Tasty Kakes while watching the game.

0. Number of times I will miss anything else about living in Pennsylvania. (I mean, besides my parents - sorry guys)

10. Number of “Alsace and Torain” jokes I will want to make during broadcast.

2. Number of “Alsace and Torain” jokes I will actually make before I realize that French Province jokes are too obscure and then switch to “Blame it on Torain.”

3. Number of times I’ll subtly remind my children that Michael Vick went to jail for killing dogs.

.00001. The number of minutes it would take me to deposit a $21 million check if I ever managed to get one.

2. Number of long passes McNabb will throw to Joey Galloway that won’t quite be completed.

4. Number of AARP jokes I’ll make about Galloway after each missed connection.

3. Number of times I get confused and accidentally root for a McNabb leg injury or joke about him not knowing overtime rules (old habits die hard).

20%. Odds that I’ll be happy with the outcome of this game.

4. Number of times I’ll use the lame comeback that the Eagles have never won a Super Bowl to Eagles fans if they win.

6 (9 volt). Number of batteries that will get thrown at me when I do it.