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DC's tragic comedy

By Evan Bliss

Things I would rather see than last night’s Monday Night Massacre. Cheney 2012. Rocky 7. Rambo 5. Caps-Pens Game 7 in 2008. The insides of an Afghan cave. A picnic with the Donner party. Babies crying. Any emergency room on New Year’s Eve. Courtney Love Unplugged. An ear infection. Sick or wounded animals. The salad bar on a broken down Carnival Cruise ship. A Michael Bay think piece. Wade Phillips on a boogie board. No, I’ve gone too far.

Redskins fans, what can we do but laugh? Before Monday Night’s ‘contest’ it was announced that Donovan McNabb signed a five-year $78 million deal to stay in Washington. Dan Snyder loves his P.R. timing, and what could be better than showing the football world that the Redskins love McNabb, and to remind all that Philadelphia slighted him by kicking him to the curb. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll give the players that little B-12 boost they need to win.

Once again Snyder’s big aspirations shoot past all the little significant details and end in a giant fire wad of embarrassment for all to enjoy at our expense. I’m not disagreeing with the signing, and in five years McNabb might have a better shot at Super Bowl glory in Washington than he did in Philadelphia, but the timing of the signing was moronic before the massacre, and downright embarrassing afterwards.

The Redskins’ offensive ship has been heeling and taking on water with McNabb at the helm. Everything that could go wrong with an offense has gone wrong. Senseless drive-killing penalties. Poorly thrown passes. Receivers dropping passes. Pass protection. Run blocking. Bad decisions. Failing to understand the playbook and two-minute offense.

I doubt a refresher is needed, but McNabb just got benched against the Lions with the game on the line in the fourth quarter. Benching him because of poor health, poor play, not understanding the two-minute offense or whatever, and then going on to sign him to a five-year deal makes as much sense as diet water. Deion Sanders’ second favorite comment about Washington: you come to Washington to get paid, not to win championships. Rewarding mediocrity is our specialty.

Regarding the Monday Night Massacre, it’s a shame there’s no true momentum breaker in football. In baseball you plunk the next batter. In hockey you send out the goons. Even in basketball you call timeout. At 14-0 someone should’ve been throwing fists, or Gatorade, or helmets, or cheerleaders to stop that Philly train in its tracks, but alas, hindsight’s 20-20, and the Redskins went down 35-0. Anyone but a Redskins fan or PETA member had to appreciate Vick’s performance last night. He really was that good.

In the end it’s not such a surprise. The Eagles only needed a quarterback to remain in contention and Vick has overachieved beyond even Andy Reid’s expectations. The Redskins remain a work in progress, still searching for their identity, and McNabb’s got five more years to lead the search deeper into the abyss, or towards the light at the end of the 20-year tunnel. Spare a flashlight?

By Evan Bliss  | November 16, 2010; 2:49 PM ET
Categories:  Evan Bliss, Redskins  | Tags:  Evan Bliss, Redskins  
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