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Celebritology 2.0: August 27, 2006 - September 2, 2006

J.Lo's Futuristic Fashion Flub

My husband has a sharp eye for fashion. He's able to hone in on fashion foibles with powers of observation reminiscent of "Project Runway's" Tim Gunn. So, last night when the husband pronounced judgment on J.Lo's futuristic VMA get-up, I knew he had spoken the truth. (He'd long ago gained fashion cred with me by pointing out the depravity of Madonna's leotard and heeding wise "What Not to Wear" advice to avoid pleated pants (Personal to Bluto: Ha ha.)) Here, verbatim, is his reaction: "Holy [expletive]. What is Jello wearing? She looks like that puppet, what was her name? The old lady puppet from "Solid Gold?" To visually aid his astute observation: J.Lo arrives at the Video Music Awards (AP). Inset: Madame. On that note, have a great holiday weekend. See you back here Tuesday. Bonus: If you don't remember the hilarity of a sexually-charged post-menopausal puppet, YouTube obliges with...

By Liz Kelly  | September 1, 2006; 10:40 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (15)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Alleged Britney Sandwich Sells for $520

Headlines: Britney Spears' (alleged) half-eaten egg salad sandwich sells for $520... Ann Curry breaks nose on "Today" show set... Jennifer Aniston signs deal with Nike... Spelling's wife sells mansion for $130 million... Donald Trump fires longtime employee (and "Apprentice" co-star) Carolyn Kepcher... John Favreau and wife welcome third child... Former Village People cop to enter rehab... Rumor Mill: Harry Morton (Lindsay Lohan's dude) spotted engagement ring shopping... Jessica Simpson and dad profess love for John Mayer; Jessica spotted buying Vanessa Minnillo's panties (kind of)... Michael Jackson spends £20,000 (convert it yourself) a week on Irish vacation... Is Angelina Jolie turning off loyal St. John customers?... John Travolta liplocks male friend... Shatner and Nimoy back for next "Star Trek" movie? VMA News: MTV Awards' Existential Moment | Full List of Winners | Mos Def arrested for impromptu performance outside VMAs... | Photos | Christian Slater raids MTV party freebies. (My favorite...

By Liz Kelly  | September 1, 2006; 8:44 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Catching Up with Robbie Rist

I am a dork. A huge dork. You read the blog, you know this. I am caught up in "Rock Star: Supernova," I wrote a thesis yesterday about "Celebrity Duets" and I admittedly worship a William Shatner video. We all have issues. Cousin Oliver, circa 1974. I wasn't aware of how big of a dork I am, though, until I was on the phone with a certain Robbie Rist and spied my reflection in my darkened computer monitor. I was grinning from ear to ear like a corn-syrup-addled six-year-old. That's because Rist is, you guessed it, the guy in the picture to the right here. Cute, wholesome, precocious Cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch" and if you, too, were reared by the television in the early- to mid-70s, the Bradys are also a part of your extended family. So, when I found myself talking to Rist on Tuesday, I knew...

By Liz Kelly  | August 31, 2006; 10:40 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (28)
Categories:  Catching Up With..., Celebrities, Pop Culture, TV  
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Morning Mix: CBS Slims Katie; Jessica Plumps Lips

Headlines: CBS magazine slims down Katie Couric in photo (second item)... Jessica Simpson admits to artificially plumping lips... TMZ: Seagal's Waist Line is "Under Siege"... Oh no, we missed Paris Hilton Day... Suri's bronzed pooh. Rumor Mill: Janet Jackson says Michael called her "fat butt"... George Clooney dating Ellen Barkin?... Is Britney expecting a girl?... Bam Margera sets the record straight about Jessica Simpson... Sultan of Brunei gives Mariah $4 million in jewels, just because... Orlando Bloom turns down "Knight Rider" movie... John Mark Karr wants Johnny Depp to play him... R.I.P. Glenn Ford: For an evening's tribute, rent "Gilda," "Blackboard Jungle" and "Superman." P.S. MTV Video Music Awards tonight. As usual, MTV is already deep into 24/7 coverage....

By Liz Kelly  | August 31, 2006; 8:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Perfect Pitch: Celebrity Duets

As a child of the 70s, I was privileged to live in the era of the variety show. Sonny and Cher, the Mandrell sisters, Donnie and Marie Osmond, "Hee-Haw," Sha-Na-Na, the Muppets -- even the Brady Bunch -- all jostled one another for the primetime viewers by unleashing a cavalcade of fading stars and corny skits to us on an almost nightly basis. And guess what kids, there was no cable so it was Donnie and Marie hamming it up with Ruth Buzzi or -- bummer -- back to the Spirograph or, heavens forbid, a book. Singer Cheech Marin. (Photo Courtesy Fox Broadcasting) So it was no surprise last night when former variety show queen (and current disturbing doll designer) Marie Osmond herself declared that television variety is back. And so it is, as a somewhat predictable off-shoot from the celeb-reality tree. It was only a matter of time before...

By Liz Kelly  | August 30, 2006; 11:52 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (31)
Categories:  TV  
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Morning Mix: Jessica Simpson to Give Voice a Rest

Headlines: Jessica Simpson told to rest her voice (we'll second that)... Ashlee Simpson to debut in London production of "Chicago"... Nick Lachey buys basketball team... Bronze Suri poop sculpture to go on display at New York gallery... Estranged granddad Jon Voight mistakenly calls Zahara "Shakira"... Colin Farrell gets three-year restraining order against woman... Fox to launch series based on "Terminator's" Sarah Connor... Fake snakes up for auction. Rumor Mill: Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson to mend marriage with a little NASCAR magic?... Is Jessica Simpson dating John Mayer?... Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend cleaning up her act.. Gwen Stefani boycotting Thursday's MTV Music Awards... Tori Spelling's husband not so crazy about her pet menagerie... Diddy's Video Diary: The erstwhile musician and media mogul philosophizes about peeing while peeing. P.S. Napoleon Dynamite's sweet map of Preston, Idaho. P.P.S. Dave Navarro is adamantly defending his praise of Dilana's freakish performance on last night's...

By Liz Kelly  | August 30, 2006; 8:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (16)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Celebritology 101: Pop Quiz

Who is the smartest celeb of them all... today? a. Eric McCormack, who has handily prevented any chance of future TV mediocrity by actually choosing to avoid sitcom work now that his eight-season (syndicated) run with "Will & Grace" has come to an end. b. Meredith Vieira, who recently called "The View" a "joke" and says she no longer watches now that she is moving on to co-host the "Today" show. c. Every D-list celebrity and rusty musician who chose NOT to participate in "Celebrity Duets." d. Paris Hilton, just because. Your answer: ________________ (Answer key after the jump)...

By Liz Kelly  | August 29, 2006; 10:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (12)
Categories:  Celebritology 101  
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Morning Mix: Springsteen Denies Split from Wife

Headlines: Tom Cruise's production company gets backing from Redskins' owner Daniel Snyder... Springsteen denies split from wife... Matthew Broderick, Barbara Bach hurt in (separate) riding accidents... Tom Arnold separates from wife... Foxy Brown tries to withdraw guilty plea in manicure assault case... Kate Moss named Britain's best hat wearer. Rumor Mill: Paris Hilton furious over Elijah Blue Allman's sex claims (Oh, and Paris' album is a flop, so far)... K-Fed claims Sean Preston said first word (and it wasn't "PopoZao" or "y'all")... Katharine McPhee frontrunner for "Wonder Woman" role... Carly Simon gets spanked before performances (third item)... Keith Richards won't be fined for Scotland smoking incident (oh, and this might quite possibly be the worst picture of Rainbow Brite Keith ever). Video: Tara Reid slips from A to D list in this TMZ.com footage painfully chronicling her inability to get into trendy Hollywood club Hyde while former friend Paris Hilton...

By Liz Kelly  | August 29, 2006; 9:45 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (8)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Elton's Shizzle

Just received an important dispatch from sometime guest Celebritologist Mike Corones: From: Michael Corones Sent: Mon 8/28/2006 2:58 PM To: Liz Kelly Subject: RE: help! This Elton John rapping thing has me all atwitter. Some possibilities: Saturdizzle Nizzle is All Rizzle for a Fizzle Don't Let the Sizzle go Dizzle on Mizzle Goodbizzle Yizzle Brizzle Rizzle I Guezzle That's Whizzle They Cizzle it the Blizzles Crockadizzle Rizzle Candizzle in the Wizzle Bennizzle and the Jizzles Philadelphizzle Frizzle Don't Gizzle Brezzling My Hizzzle Sad Sizzles (Sizzle So Mizzle) ---------- I think I could get my shoulder lean on to some "Crockadizzle Rizzle." But can Elton top this?...

By Liz Kelly  | August 28, 2006; 4:11 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (3)
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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Comment Box: Insider Insight and a Screech Update

Lee Majors, totally not kicking your a** for me. (Reuters) Comment of the Week: Do you remember around age 7 or 8 when you're mercilessly make fun of the kids in your class who didn't realize that Fonzi[e] wasn't real? They'd be angry and saying that they'd get the Six Million Dollar Man to beat you up and you'd just laugh at them because you'd just seen Lee Majors on the "Battle of the Network Stars?" I'm not saying kids don't confuse reality and television, but you know what? Those that did, got their butts kicked on the playground for being fools. -- Don comments on Tom & Jerry, Bad Influences? --- I've sat next to Jeff Probst at film premieres, and even I think this is a dumb idea. Heck, it's the 21st century -- my family alone has more multi-racial members and can check 20 boxes on...

By Liz Kelly  | August 28, 2006; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (3)
Categories:  Comment Box  
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Morning Mix: Remove 'Sexist' from the Cruise-Bashing Arsenal

Headlines: Cruise never said award-winning sexist comment... Japan allows pregnant Britney poster in subway; K-Fed to appear on episode of "CSI"... Popster apologizes for saying J.Lo is pregnant... Elton John wants to record hip-hop album... Meredith Vieira no longer watches "The View"... Martin Sheen enrolls at Irish university... Fire burns 40 acres of Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch... Rumor Mill: Is Tom Cruise sorry about the Brooke Shields bashing?... Ex says Hasselhoff "tricked" her into signing pre-nup... Angelina dodges dad at party... Supermodel Amber Valletta in rehab... Sean Penn turned down Joker role in new "Batman"... Woman sues Matt LeBlanc for defamation... Keith Richards in trouble for lighting up at Scotland gig... "Gilligan's Island" boat up for sale... Emmy Central: - "24," "The Office" Take Top Honors |All Winners - Galleries: Red Carpet Fashion | On Stage - 2 ET: Lisa de Moraes Live | Blog - Conan's Mall Bangs...

By Liz Kelly  | August 28, 2006; 8:45 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (9)
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