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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 08/ 4/2006

Friday List: The Uncoolest Cuts

By Liz Kelly

Anyone ever heard of Q magazine? Hunh. Me either, but thanks to Q anyway for providing us with fodder for another Friday List. Q recently published a list of "Uncool Songs It's Okay to Admit You Love."

Although Q published an "official" list, I contend that the list is a very personal experience, different for all of us. Perhaps more than anything, this list reveals much about our personalities and desires. I think we can all admit that we have an ideal "me" we try to project to the world -- depending on who you are, that ideal me may wear a Motorhead T-shirt and drive a Prius or wear Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. line of clothes and ride comfortably in a Porsche. Either way, we are saying this is who I want to be and I want the world to know it.

But, when you admit to liking an uncool song -- be it fluff, cheese or anywhere in between -- you take a risk. But you don't care. You like the song enough to throw caution to the wind and blast the hell out of that Starland Vocal Band. Or that's just me.

So, this Friday, let's bare our souls by way of sharing our list of 5 - 10 favorite Uncool Songs. I'll start:

1. "Afternoon Delight" - Starland Vocal Band
2. "All Cried Out" -- Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam
3. "Saturday Night" -- Bay City Rollers
4. "Rich Girl" -- Hall and Oates
5. "Cherry Pie" -- Warrant
6. "Wildfire" -- Michael Martin Murray
7. "More Than Words" -- Extreme
8. "Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" -- Looking Glass
9. "Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves" -- Cher
10. Most of the "Xanadu" soundtrack

Add yours in the comments section. No snickering allowed.

Bonus: If you're an iTunes user, check out the "Guilty Pleasures" Essentials for everything from Culture Club to Tony Orlando.

By Liz Kelly  | August 4, 2006; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Miscellaneous, Pop Culture  
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Comments

How can Lisa Lisa's All Cried Out be an uncool song? What year were you born? It is still holds up well in many area radio stations when they may play it during a "Quiet Storm" and its words have a lot more meaning than the crap that is put out today. The proof is in the fact that you are even aware of this "uncool" song.

Give me 10 years, and name a current song from the same genre that will be heard on the radio? I'd bet you 10 to 1 that Lisa Lisa's "uncool" song will still be played...

Posted by: A Real Music Fan in DC | August 4, 2006 11:06 AM | Report abuse

I LOVE guilty pleasure songs. I will freely and cheerfully admit to loving these ones:

1. "Carry on Wayward" Son by Kansas
2. "Wheel in the Sky" by Journey
3. "Bust a Move" by Young MC
4. "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground
5. "When the Children Cry" by White Lion

Posted by: Shannon | August 4, 2006 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Buried deep within the bowels of my ipod:


Jessies Girl -- Rick Springfield
867 -5309 -- Tommy TuTone
She's Gone -- Hall & Oates
Roseanna -- Toto
Shake You Down -- Gregory Abbott
If It Isn't Love -- New Edition
She Blinded Me w/ Science -- Thomas Dolby
Its Too Late -- Carole King
High Enough -- Damn Yankees
2Hype -- Kid n' Play
True -- Spandaeu Ballet
Perfect Way -- Scritti Politti
Take on Me -- A-Ha
Rump Shaker -- Wrecks n' Effect
Elvira -- The Oak Ridge Boys

Yes, I have issues and an eclectic taste......


Posted by: Buried secretly in the ipod | August 4, 2006 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Ok, skipping songs that have already been listed, how about (these are actually on my iPod):

Thank God I'm a Country Boy - John Denver

Everybody Was KungFu Fighting - Carl Douglas

Whiskey in the Jar - Any of a zillion Irish singers

867-5309 (Jenny) - Tommy Tutone

After the Lovin' - Engelbert Humperdinck

Angie Baby - Helen Reddy

Beer Barrel Polka - Frankie Yankovic

The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels

If I were a Rich Man - Zero Mostel

Anything disco by the BeeGees

King of the Road - Roger Miller

One Night in Bangkok - Murry Head

Ok, I'll stop before you all have me certified.

Posted by: Terry in Maryland | August 4, 2006 11:29 AM | Report abuse

If the person posting under the name "buried secretly in the ipod" is a 40-something man, I may be in love and consider proposing based on that song list.

Posted by: Terry in Maryland | August 4, 2006 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Ok, everyone, remember Abba? Com'on, that has to be one of the guiltiest guilty pleasure bands of the 70s. The late 70s BeeGees are next in line. I think I have to do this by artists. Guilty pleasure one-hit wonders are a different list for me...

1. Abba (1970s)
2. BeeGees (mid-late 1970s)
3. Go-Gos (early 1980s)
4. Journey (mid 1970s- 1980s)
5. Whitesnake (late 80s/early90s)

(sorry, no i-pod here, still in process of switching to cds and dvds....)

Posted by: dahozho | August 4, 2006 11:43 AM | Report abuse

FYI - For us old farts that still listen to "rock" music, Q, along with Mojo and Uncut are the best music mags around. These mags are read by people that gave up on Rolling Stone magazine back in 1975.

Posted by: Hardknox and Durty Sox | August 4, 2006 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Not that all of these songs are bad, but I have overly strong reactions to some. So I'm ashamed.

1. Space Oddity, by David Bowie. (I cry for Major Tom.)
2. Your Song, by Elton John. (Crying, shivers, blushing. I know! It's Elton John!)
3. Tempted, by Squeeze. This one I sing really loudly in the car.
4. Big Shot, by Billy Joel. Same story.
5. Love to Love You Baby, by Donna Summer. If this had words, I'd sing along. Instead, I just moan.

Glad this is anonymous.

Posted by: Katyola | August 4, 2006 11:53 AM | Report abuse

must say...I have Hanson's mmmbop on the ipod....

Posted by: pkc | August 4, 2006 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Why have I never heard of ANY of these songs? Is it because I'm black or because I was born in the 80's? I am a music fan.

Posted by: Questioning? | August 4, 2006 11:57 AM | Report abuse

1. Copacabana -- Barry Manilow
2. Love WIll Keep Us Together -- Captain & Tennille
3.Shake Your Booty -- KC & The Sunshine Band
4. Since U Been Gone -- Kelly Clarkson
5. Anything by Vanilla Ice

Posted by: ShoreMom | August 4, 2006 12:01 PM | Report abuse

friends in low places--garth brooks
danny's song--kenny loggins
angel--aerosmith
dancing queen--abba
if i could turn back time--cher
groovey kind of love--phil collins

Posted by: m | August 4, 2006 12:01 PM | Report abuse

"The Rain" by Oran "Juice" Jones, not for the song itself but the dialogue at the end. "Alley-cat coat wearing, Hush Puppy shoe wearing crumbcake" is timeless.

Posted by: Phan | August 4, 2006 12:02 PM | Report abuse

I couldn't resist and it may be the uncoolest of them all.

Season 1 runner-up American Idol Justin Guarini:
1-10 = The entire album.

And just in case your wondering, I never found him attractive.

Posted by: Devina1999 | August 4, 2006 12:07 PM | Report abuse

So many great songs in this thread, here are mine:

Walkin' on Sunshine-Katrina and the Waves

Come on Eileen-Dexie's Midnight Runners

Always Something There to Remind Me- Naked Eyes.

I am Woman- Helen Reddy

Material Girl-Madonna

Mr. Roboto-Styx

Anything by Erasure or Culture Club

Posted by: tardisgirl | August 4, 2006 12:12 PM | Report abuse

To Questioning?: It's probably more because you were born in the 80s. There's a lot of late 70s and early to mid 80s music on these lists.

I think you need to spend some quality time with a VH1 80s special.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 12:13 PM | Report abuse

A few more awesomely bad stinkers for the mix:

"Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi
"Copacabana" - Barry Manilow
"(I Just) Died In Your Arms" - Cutting Crew
"To Be With You" - Mr. Big
"Wild Thing" - Tone Loc
"Waterloo" - ABBA
"I Was Made For Loving You" - KISS
"Just a Gigolo" - David Lee Roth
"Cowboy" - Kid Rock
"She Bop" - Cyndi Lauper

Posted by: Hooray for anonymity! | August 4, 2006 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Ok Folks,

in honor of women's lib.....

1. I'm every woman - Chaka Khan
2. girls Just Want to Have Fun - cindi lauper
3. Like a Virgin - Madonna
4. Red Light - George Clinton

Posted by: snoootty | August 4, 2006 12:19 PM | Report abuse

i forgot one:
are you strong enough to be my man--sheryl crow

Posted by: m | August 4, 2006 12:27 PM | Report abuse

I have to say I am willing to step forward with my song list, I have a fetish for soft rock and power ballads...

(in no particular order)
Any way you want it- Journey
Faithfully- Journey
Don't Stop Believin'- Journey
All by Myself- Celine Dion
Total Ecipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler
Amanda- Boston
Can't Fight This Feelin' Any Longer- REO Speedwagon
Any and all Ricy Martin, in particular Cup of Life, Private Emotions, and SheBangs!!!

Posted by: Unashamed, Unabashed | August 4, 2006 12:27 PM | Report abuse

The "Titantic" theme song. Or any Celine Dion, for that matter.

*ducks*

Posted by: Southern Maryland | August 4, 2006 12:28 PM | Report abuse

None of you are in college I see...Almost all the songs listed so far are played in college dorms and parties weekly.

Posted by: Yay College | August 4, 2006 12:28 PM | Report abuse

I have not seen a single bad song on any of these lists. All these "really" bad songs I love, espically the 80s. Roll down the car windows and rock on, but here are my top 5. (which I jam to with pride...and often times see people in the other cars doing the same)

1) Dancing Queen-Abba
2) Come on Eileen-Dexie's Midnight Runners
3) Take on Me -A-Ha
4) To Be With You-Mr. Big
5) Young Americans-David Bowie (even though it's not a bad song you just never hear it anymore)

Posted by: Melissa | August 4, 2006 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I can't believe I'm admitting to this...

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend -- Carol Channing

Baby Got Bak -- Sir Mix-a-Lot

It's Raining Men -- Weather Girls

If You Were Gay -- Avenue Q soundtrack

Push It -- Salt n' Peppa

Redneck Woman -- Gretchen Wilson

Thank God I'm A Country Boy -- John Denver

Chains of Love -- Erasure

Is She Really Going Out With Him -- Joe Jackson

Bye Bye Bye -- N'Sync

Posted by: HowGayCanOneGuyBe?? | August 4, 2006 12:33 PM | Report abuse

There's a difference between songs that are - and were at the time of release - uncool, and ordinary pop songs from the late 70s/80s. I object to the characterization of such gems as:
"Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi
I'm every woman - Chaka Khan
Walkin' on Sunshine-Katrina and the Waves
Come on Eileen-Dexie's Midnight Runners
Material Girl-Madonna

To my recollection, most of these songs were immensely popular at the time of their release - and were not considered "cheesy" or "fluffy" - at least not anymore than an average pop/rock song. Not uncool - just old and out of style.

See the Justin Guarini album for an example of "pure cheese."

Posted by: not uncool | August 4, 2006 12:35 PM | Report abuse

First of all, I want to say I don't think there is anything uncool about ABBA. Second, it is true that a lot of these are still played weekly at college parties.

That being said, these are some of my picks (and they're all on my iPod):
1. "Say You'll Be There" - Spice Girls
2. "Who Let the Dogs Out" - Baha Men
3. "C'est La Vie" - B*Witched
4. "Never Had a Dream Come True" - S Club 7
5. "The Thong Song" - Sisqo
6. "Summer Girls" - LFO
7. "Liquid Dream" - O-Town
8. "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" - Kenny Chesney
9. "It's Raining Men" - The Weather Girls (Got stuck in my head from swing lessons)
10. 2 Become 1 - Spice Girls

Posted by: ABBA fan | August 4, 2006 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Even my husband doesn't know that I love the new Sting/Sheryl Crow duet.

He does, however, know about my love for:

Abba -- Pretty much their entire catalogue
Meat Loaf -- Paradise by the Dashboard Light
Elton John -- Philadelphia Freedom, Someone Saved My Life Tonight (not sure if that's the exact title but I suspect you know what I'm talking about)
Moody Blues -- The Voice
ELO -- The more overproduced, the better!
"The Promise" -- Can't remember the artist, but it's the 80s song that goes "I'm sorry but I'm just thinking up the right words to say/I know it didn't sound the way I planned it to be..."
a-ha -- Take On Me

Posted by: Kate | August 4, 2006 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Wait there just a min... 867-5309 is uncool? Seriously?? Becuase if it is, then I need to check my cool radar.

Posted by: Uncool? | August 4, 2006 12:46 PM | Report abuse

I don't even understand what Afternoon Delight is referring to. Is it some sort of cocktail?

Posted by: Arrrlington | August 4, 2006 12:47 PM | Report abuse

I am a 24 yr old girl...and yes, these songs are either on my iPod or in my CD collection. This is so sad:

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
Make Me Lose Control - Eric Carmen
Let The River Run - Carly Simon
Winds of Change - Scorpions
I Want To Know What Love Is - Foreigner
I'm Not In Love - 10cc
Waiting For A Star To Fall - Boy Meets Girl
The Search Is Over - Survivor
These Dreams - Heart
Heart and Soul - T'Pau
Annie's Song - John Denver
One Is The Lonliest Number - Three Dog Night
Some Air Supply Songs......

Well, thats all I can think of at the moment...boy, no wonder my boyfriend always makes fun of my music...oh but its all soooo good!

Posted by: I love my bad music taste | August 4, 2006 12:51 PM | Report abuse

To Kate:The Promise was done by When in Rome.

I have one more:

I'm too sexy-Right Said Fred.

My college roommate looooved that song

Posted by: tardisgirl | August 4, 2006 12:54 PM | Report abuse

The 80's Ruled!!!!

Sedated-Ramones
Black Coffee in Bed-Squeeze
Holding out for a hero - Bonnie Tyler
Anything by Huey Lewis... and theNews
Safety Dance-Men without hats

Posted by: Spudbrother | August 4, 2006 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Oh yes...I also forgot, I own a Peter Cetera album....on tape. I'm going to crawl into a hole now...

Posted by: I love my bad music taste | August 4, 2006 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Kate -- I believe the group that did "The Promise" was called When in Rome.

There was another dance-pop song from that same late 80's time that sampled Leonard Nimoy from Star Trek ("pure energy"), who was that? I actually heard the whole album back in the day and I think there may have been more Trek samples throughout -- I thought that was cool even if I wasn't really so wild about the music.

Posted by: bo | August 4, 2006 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Terry in Maryland:

I need to download your iPod list. Love all those songs!! Very uncool, but, very addictive.

Posted by: BEN | August 4, 2006 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Can "Life in a Northern Town" be justified? Someone please back me up; I love that song!

Posted by: orr | August 4, 2006 1:08 PM | Report abuse

I only have a couple I have to add:

1. I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meatloaf, because when you're listening to someone who sounds like dinner, that's automatically uncool
2. Til I Kissed You - The Everly Bros. (I'm 23 and should not even know this song exists, much less play it at least once a day)
3. Ramrod - Bruce Springsteen

And "Sedated" is not an uncool song - the Ramones should not even be anywhere near these lists!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Motown Philly - Boyz II Men
Shoop - Salt n Peppa
Right Stuff - NKOTB :p
With you - Jessica Simpson
Summertime - Fresh Prince
Black Velvet - Alannah Miles

Posted by: Uncool md | August 4, 2006 1:09 PM | Report abuse

I cannot believe I am the first with this one:

"Midnight at the Oasis"--Maria Muldaur

And sorry, but "One" by Three Dog Night is NOT uncool.

Posted by: Flea | August 4, 2006 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Do Patsy Cline and Roy Orbison count as cheese? I have multiple albums from both.

I also have Europop by Eiffel 65 (for one song "Blue") and all of Aqua's stuff.

Posted by: Just Sayin' | August 4, 2006 1:15 PM | Report abuse

You're My Everything---Santa Esmeralda.

cheese.
but i LOVE this song.

don't tell anyone!

Posted by: Child of the 80's | August 4, 2006 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Yes, orr, I will back you up on "Life in a Northern Town." Have it on the ipod; always loved it. My embarrassing list includes "I want it that way," "mmmBop," and . . . it's very embarrassing . . . but . . . "Music Box Dancer."

Posted by: from northern town | August 4, 2006 1:18 PM | Report abuse

"Life in a Northern Town" -when I was dating my now-husband - this song came on and I was scared to admit I liked it - imagine my relief when he said that he liked it, too - and for the most part, I can't stand the music he listens to. It may not be a great song - but I like it, too.

Posted by: hate to admit it | August 4, 2006 1:21 PM | Report abuse

"Terry in Maryland:

I need to download your iPod list. Love all those songs!! Very uncool, but, very addictive."


I've been making CD's of my wonderful, but tragically unhip, songs for my nieces (ages 3 and 5) to listen to in the car. The girls LOVE the songs, but the music makes my sister nuts. She insists that there's a limit to the number of times during a day that a sane adult human can listen to Kung Fu Fighting. My work as an eccentric auntie is well underway.

Posted by: Terry in Maryland | August 4, 2006 1:22 PM | Report abuse

Ok, Flea, I will remove Three Dog Night, I think only my trendy friends think its an uncool song. So I will replace it with Mike and the Mechanics "All I Need Is A Miracle."

Posted by: I love my bad music taste | August 4, 2006 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Second post - sorry.

Why do I still have my tapes when I don't have anything to play them on?

And then he kissed me - don't know by who, but great beginning to "Adventures in Babysitting"

Posted by: uncool md | August 4, 2006 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Weird Al, especially Harvey the Wonder Hamster

Posted by: Al | August 4, 2006 1:29 PM | Report abuse

One word: "Heartbeat", Don Johnson, 1986

Posted by: miami vice | August 4, 2006 1:33 PM | Report abuse

no one has mentioned the ultimate in total dork music...and yes, he's on my ipod.

Shaun Cassidy.

excuse me, i have to die of embarassment now.

Posted by: humiliated | August 4, 2006 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Having my baby, by Paul Anka I know, I know, but I can't help it
Time after Time, Cyndi Lauper
Come back Silly Girl, the Lettermen actually bought this on cd
Michael row the boat ashore

Posted by: totally anon & for good reason | August 4, 2006 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Whither the Captain and Tenille? I should think that "Love will keep us together" should definitely be on here. Now I need to find a Karaoke bar in which to belt this out...

Posted by: Muskrat Luvr | August 4, 2006 1:42 PM | Report abuse

...Ooops I forgot one gem in the ipod:

"I Wanna Be A Cowboy" -- Boys Don't Cry

Posted by: Buried secretly in the ipod | August 4, 2006 1:42 PM | Report abuse

From the way back machine--white bread summer beach songs, Jersey Shore, NYC's WABC radio, "roll your bod"

Red Rubber Ball -- The Cyrcle
Band of Gold -- Freda Payne
Crimson and Clover -- Tommy James and the Shondells
Cherish -- The Association
Love Child -- The Supremes
This Magic Moment -- Jay and the Americans

Posted by: Kathleen | August 4, 2006 1:43 PM | Report abuse

In the Heart of the Night: Poco
Tonight's the Night: Rod Stewart
I'd Really Love to See You tonight: England Dan and John Ford Coley
Southern Nights: Glen Campbell
Nights in White Satin: Moody Blues
The Night Chicago Died: Paper Lace

Posted by: Ttlsccr | August 4, 2006 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Bryan Adams's "Heaven" and John Waite's "Missing You" came up back-to-back on my iPod a couple weeks ago and I spent 8 blissful minutes remembering what life was like before irony.

Posted by: halleck23 | August 4, 2006 1:44 PM | Report abuse

My absolute guilty pleasure song is "Steal My Sunshine" by LEN. You may not have heard OF it, but if you've gone to the Gap at anypoint in the last year, you've definitely heard the song.

I'll also second the "Humpty Dance"!

Posted by: Embarrassed Music Snob | August 4, 2006 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Hey, Liz, you and I are not alone. XANADU is coming to Broadway - no joke:

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/101244.html

Posted by: Xanadu fan | August 4, 2006 1:48 PM | Report abuse

"Still the One" and "Dance With Me,"
Orleans
"You Are" Lionel Richie
"The Girl Is Mine" Mike Jackson and Sir Paul
"Uptown Girl" Billy Joel
and anything by Ambrosia, "How Much I Feel," for starters...

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Here are some songs I love singing to:

Country Roads--John Denver
Rocket Man--Elton John
One Toke Over the Line--Brewer and Shipley
Don't Pull Your Love Out on Me Baby--Hamilton, Joe, Frank, and Reynolds
Operator--Jim Croce
Build me Up Buttercup--The Foundation
Brandi--Looking Glass
Hooked on a Feeling--Blue Swede
Guitar Man--Bread (also like the awesome Cake remake)
Cracklin' Rosie--Neil Diamond
Sing--Carpenters
Knock Three Times--Tony Orlando and Dawn

Posted by: Singing70sDude | August 4, 2006 1:52 PM | Report abuse

I love the Circle Jerks medley of many of the songs mentioned here. My guilty pleasure: the German language version of Der Kommisar by Falco

Posted by: Whittaker Walt | August 4, 2006 1:53 PM | Report abuse

ooh, ooh, ooh --

I Am So Into You -- Average White Band

Posted by: kathleen | August 4, 2006 1:55 PM | Report abuse

1. "Really Saying Something" - Bananarama
2. "Meeting In The Ladies Room" - Klymaxx
3. "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life" - Indeep
4. "Beach Baby" - First Class
5. "The Way That I Want To Touch You" - Captain & Tenille
6. "They Don't Know" - Tracey Ullman
7. "Centipede" - Rebbie Jackson
8. "Rasputin" - Boney M.
9. "Native New Yorker" - Odyssey
10. "Fly Away" - John Denver w/ Olivia Newton-John

Wow. Feels like I'm sympathizing with veal or something.

Posted by: Thor | August 4, 2006 1:56 PM | Report abuse

What, Liz? No "Hang On Sloopy"?!

And there's nothing wrong with the Xanadu soundtrack--ELO rules.

Posted by: APL | August 4, 2006 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Liz, I think people are using these lists like a personals ad. I love it! You've done everyone a great service. Did anyone get a date out of this converstaion?

Posted by: katekat | August 4, 2006 1:56 PM | Report abuse

I am stunned that no one is copping to ownership of William Shatner's rendition of "Mr. Tambourine Man." That is the Valhalla of bad taste, and also one of the great joys of my life.

Posted by: Wash DC | August 4, 2006 1:59 PM | Report abuse

I like to listen to punk covers of my guilty pleasures. That way you can get your cheese without all the calories. My iPod has tons of Me First and the Gimme Gimmees. They've done covers of a bunch of weenie songs, and they're all awesome. (Also I have Emery's punk cover of Holding out For a Hero--freakin awesome.)

Posted by: me first | August 4, 2006 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Thanks all for bringing back the memories! Abba, A-ha, Cher, Meatloaf - they made it worth growing up during the 70s/80s, and if only because we now have something to contribute almost any "Most embarrassing" list!

Here some that are overlooked so far:

5. I am I said - Neil Diamond
4. Jennifer Rush - The Power of Love
3. Mary McGregor - Torn between two lovers 2. Mull of Kintyre - Wings
1. Mary Hopkin - Those were the Days

Posted by: cpwdc | August 4, 2006 2:01 PM | Report abuse

My cheesy songs were cheesy due to my race (I'm Black). You'd like to think that music is universal, but man if my friends found out besides Hip-Hop, Go-Go, Reggae and R&B that my collection ranged from Todd Lundgren in 70's to Nine Inch Nails to Staind (and by the way I listen to Len's steal my sunshine at least 4 times a week) I might be KILLED.

Funny thing though, my best friend is white and at the club we go to there are two songs they ALWAYS play: Living on a prayer and Pour some sugar on me. I love 'em - she's the only white person in the club NOT dancing. So I set my ring tones for her numbers to them.

She HATES that :)

Posted by: I can't say for fear you'll find out | August 4, 2006 2:04 PM | Report abuse

"Things We Do for Love" 10cc

There, now I bet you're already singing "like walking in the rain and the snow..." aren't you?

And what about Bread? You could fill the top 7 of that list with David Gates-penned ditties, if he's not already there. (I haven't checked the 'Q' list - I'm too busy thinking of my own!) Look up the iMix "silly love songs" for more.

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 2:05 PM | Report abuse

I'm a native Washingtonian.. grew up in NE, live in SE. In my neighborhood, listening to "white" music was unheard of. The following is a list of songs that I will drop WHATEVER I'm doing to sing/dance along with..

1. Love Shack- B-52s

2. Boogie Fever- The Silvers.

3. No Rump to Bump- Brides of Funkenstein

4. Unskinny Bop- Poison

5. My Sharona- The Knack.

6. Aint No Stopping Us (from Breakin)- Ollie & Jerry.

7. Get Down to It- Humble Pie

8. Been Caught Stealing- Jane's Addiction

9. California Dreamin- The Mamas & the Papas

10. The Right Stuff- TNKOB

11. Dancing Queen- ABBA

I do have a couple of songs on my player that I wouldn't mention- theme songs to the following tv shows:

Wonder Woman

Greatest American Hero

Baretta

The Rockford Files

Posted by: Niki | August 4, 2006 2:06 PM | Report abuse

my lord, your picks are the dregs-

i dont know if these are so much bad as unknown-

everything by sly and the family stone

psychotic reaction- mark 4

double shot of my baby love- swingin' medallions

war (ugh, good gawd) what is it good for- artist forgotten(ust as well)

anything not recorded by eric carmen or air supply

Posted by: greg | August 4, 2006 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Shatner's rendition of ANYTHING is fabulous cheese. I love the Shat!

There's a great compilation CD called "Golden Throats" which is all bad celebrity song covers. You haven't lived until you've heard Leonard Nimoy sing "If I Had a Hammer."

I'm surprised Neil Diamond, the King of Cheese, isn't getting more votes. After all, he ain't heavy, he's my brother!

Posted by: Shannon | August 4, 2006 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Rhinestone Cowboy!

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 2:13 PM | Report abuse

bo -- the "pure energy" song was by Information Society and was titled "What's on Your Mind." Enjoy.

(Oh, and I must add that the cheesiest tune on my mp3 player is Chris DeBurg's "Don't pay the Ferryman"!)

Posted by: delancey | August 4, 2006 2:16 PM | Report abuse

James Brown, "Prisoner of Love" and "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World"
Iron Butterfly, "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida" (long version with drum solo)
Shocking Blue, "Venus"
Golden Earring, "Radar Love"
David Essex, "Rock On"
Nena, "99 Luftballons"
Van Halen, "Pretty Woman" and "Panama"
Vanilla Ice, "Ice Ice Baby" (sure he stole the bass line, but it's a great bass line)

Posted by: Bethel Alaska | August 4, 2006 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Typing this in small, humble letters. The very first song I downloaded for my iPod was Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up." Many songs later, I am still embarrassed by it, but I still have the song.

Posted by: Wash DC | August 4, 2006 2:17 PM | Report abuse

party all the time- eddie murphy

Posted by: alsharpton | August 4, 2006 2:18 PM | Report abuse

stay-lisa loeb
a house is not a hotel-love
my sharona-the knack
you oughta know -alanis morissette
lets go-the cars

actually, the entire Reality Bites album

Posted by: s. | August 4, 2006 2:19 PM | Report abuse

WashDC - Josh Groban was my first (paid) download, too - and I love it!

Posted by: cpwdc | August 4, 2006 2:22 PM | Report abuse

One last note - it was a thorny issue back in the late 80's with Dead Heads, but I must say "Touch of Grey" is an awesome song, maybe one of their best, and I like them all!

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 2:24 PM | Report abuse

I'm singing, I'm laughing. This is the perfect Friday afternoon activity.
Except for Afternoon Delight.

Thanks.

Posted by: Kathleen | August 4, 2006 2:26 PM | Report abuse

OK - most of these songs aren't really cheesy - just fun!

But - the ultimate in cheese, because of the name of the band, the utter banality of the song, and the looks that Beavis and Butthead have on their faces in they first see the video....

"The Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats

Posted by: John In Houston | August 4, 2006 2:27 PM | Report abuse

I can't believe there's another Shaun Cassidy fan out there. I thought I was the only one who was going to marry him someday.

I'm copping to all John Denver, particularly "Calypso"--even my husband has no idea.

Posted by: YouThinkI'llAdmitMyNameToo? | August 4, 2006 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Ooooh, Men Without Hats. With the weird Renaissance Faire video. What ever happened to those guys?

Another great song? "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by Georgia Satellites. Any time I play this song, I'm instantly in a good mood.

Posted by: Shannon | August 4, 2006 2:31 PM | Report abuse

These lists are mostly composed of the dark disturbed matter that David Lynch uses to make his films. And yet, not one of you listed "Seasons in the Sun" by The Poppy Family.


Posted by: Cold Ethyl | August 4, 2006 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Oh my, I found some more stuff I happily napstered back when it was free:

Sailing - Rod Stewart
Amarillo - Tony Christie
Nothing's Gonna Stop us Now - Starship

Posted by: cpwdc | August 4, 2006 2:37 PM | Report abuse

I was going to marry Shaun Cassidy too..... or Donny Osmond..... or Leif Garrett.

I've thought of a couple more:

Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline."

Donny & Marie "One Bad Apple"

Marie Osmond "Paper Roses"

Also, I dont think anyone has mentioned "Oh, Yeah" by Yello.

Posted by: ShoreMom | August 4, 2006 2:39 PM | Report abuse

These are supposed to be bad songs that you wouldn't admit to liking in polite company, right? I think everyone I know loves Come On Eileen! Mine are:

1. Michael Buble - Home. It makes me cry EVERY time
2. Anything NKOTB, especially Please Don't Go Girl.
3. Paula Abdul - Rush, Rush
4. Ace Frehly - New York Groove
5. All those Vengaboys songs from the late 90s (Up and Down, We Like to Party, etc.).

Posted by: wha? | August 4, 2006 2:40 PM | Report abuse

So many songs, I had to post a second list.

You Spin Me Round- Dead or Alive

99 Luft Ballons- Neneh

Venus- Banarama

Crush on You- The Jets

All Fall Down- Five Star

Dance Wit Me- Peter Brown

Ok, ok.. I gotta stop here, because my list can go on and on. Funny thing is, many of the songs already listed are my absolute favs. If I'm uncool because of it, I'll start my own club for the uncool crowd, called Officially Off_the_Wall!

Posted by: Niki | August 4, 2006 2:44 PM | Report abuse

I actually listened to this yesterday:

"Thunder Island" by Jay Ferguson

Posted by: Lisa | August 4, 2006 2:45 PM | Report abuse

You blog about pop culture and you'd never heard of Q? Well, it might surprise you but there's this island 'bout 4000 miles away called "England." Sometimes it's called "Great Britain" or "United Kingdom." Despite its distance the people there look a lot like us and speak a very similar language--you might even understand them without ever having learned a "foreign" language! The people there listen to a lot of the same music. They even have magazines devoted to music, just like us Americans! I'm partial to that country's "The Wire," which some Americans get confused with "Wired" despite The Wire having been around nearly ten years longer. If you're going to blog about anything regarding music then you should probably try to familiarize yourself with some magazines beyond Rolling Stone and People.

(pssst! kathleen, "I Am So Into You" was by Atlanta Rhythm Section; don't fret, the confusion is easily explained: both bands start with A, have three words in their names and were popular in the 70s)

Posted by: beetsnotbeats | August 4, 2006 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Three full albums I love, and freely admit it:

Saturday Night Fever
The Osmonds
Christopher Cross

Posted by: Michael J. West | August 4, 2006 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Some of y'alls don't seem to know what constitutes "uncool." Here's a hint: anything by David Bowie is always cool. Celine Dion, John Denver, Journey -- not so much.

Posted by: what? | August 4, 2006 2:52 PM | Report abuse

The cheesiest full-length album in my collection?

Ultimate Dance Party 1996 featuring the techno version of "Total Eclipse of the Sun", "C'Mon Ride It (the Train)" as well as a song by Ace of Base. (Ace of Base: Like ABBA, Only Worse")

Posted by: Shannon | August 4, 2006 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Oops, my bad on AWB vs. ARS, thank you beetsnotbeats.

And while I'm here, has anybody mentioned Pat Benatar or Heart? Total chick sing it loud and proud songs. Don't want to be caught sitting at a red light singing one of those.

Posted by: kathleen | August 4, 2006 2:53 PM | Report abuse

YES SOMEONE SAID PARTY ALL THE TIME

BEST SONG EVER !!!!

Posted by: vero | August 4, 2006 2:54 PM | Report abuse

My dj almost snorted his Coke back out his nose when I insisted that although YMCA, the Macarena, the Chicken Dance, I Like Big Butts, and the Electric Slide were absolutely forbidden, he absolutely HAD to play Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Rainbow Connection [starring Kermit the Frog] and I Will Survive by Helen Reddy. I didn't request Kenny Loggins' Winnie the Pooh song, but it still gets me teary eyed when I hear it...

Posted by: a discriminating bride | August 4, 2006 2:56 PM | Report abuse

To singing 70's dude. I have a jukebox(really) with all those songs you picked on it. They are my old 45's. May I add:
Candyman - Sammy Davis Jr.
One Bad Apple Don't Spoil the Whole Bunch-Osmonds
Mandy- Barry Manilow
Midnight at the Oasis. Put your camel to bed, indeed.

Posted by: Maureen | August 4, 2006 2:57 PM | Report abuse

To singing 70's dude. I have a jukebox(really) with all those songs you picked on it. They are my old 45's. May I add:
Candyman - Sammy Davis Jr.
One Bad Apple Don't Spoil the Whole Bunch-Osmonds
Mandy- Barry Manilow
Midnight at the Oasis. Put your camel to bed, indeed.

Posted by: Maureen | August 4, 2006 2:58 PM | Report abuse

To singing 70's dude. I have a jukebox(really) with all those songs you picked on it. They are my old 45's. May I add:
Candyman - Sammy Davis Jr.
One Bad Apple Don't Spoil the Whole Bunch-Osmonds
Mandy- Barry Manilow
Midnight at the Oasis. Put your camel to bed, indeed.

Posted by: Maureen | August 4, 2006 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Oh yeah, and 'Do You Really want to hurt Me', but that was more of a nod to the Wedding Singer than a personal cheesy favorite.

Posted by: a discriminating bride | August 4, 2006 3:00 PM | Report abuse

You can't have "The Night Chicago Died" without also having "Billy, Don't Be a Hero" by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods (and how many of us know that Paper Lace recorded it first????).

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:02 PM | Report abuse

my husband and i wanted our first dance at our wedding (just last month) to be to "safety dance," but we couldn't find it on itunes.

i love everything by milli vanilli.

there. i said i.

Posted by: nachomama | August 4, 2006 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Cherish and Having My Baby - way uncool!!!!

Posted by: child of the ?'s | August 4, 2006 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Ok, since people are admitting to Shaun Cassidy, I'll tell you the deepest secret on my iPod and the easiest way to guess my age within maybe 3 years.

Julie, Do You Love Me? by Bobby Sherman

Oh, and I used to watch Here Come the Brides, too.

Being alone at night makes me sad, girl
Yeah, it brings me down alright.
Tossin' and turnin' and freezin' and burnin'And cryin' all through the night

Whoa oh Julie, Julie, Julie do ya love me?
Julie, Julie, Julie do ya care?
Julie, Julie are ya thinkin' of me?
Julie, Julie will ya still be there?

There. I'm the worst of all. Try and out-do that one. I'm singing that song as I type.

Posted by: Terry in Maryland | August 4, 2006 3:04 PM | Report abuse

The Final Countdown - Europe

Posted by: kidmo | August 4, 2006 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Come on, people! This is supposed to be cheesy songs that are embarrassing to like in a non-ironic way. There are a lot of non-cheesy songs here. (Said with a nod of appreciation to the fact that white music has its inherent uncool factor in black neighborhoods.)

Cheesy is...
Secret Lover by Atlantic Star
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers
Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi
Fly to the Angels by Slaughter
Time to Change from the Brady Bunch (the song where Peter's voice changes)
Proud to be an American (please go to therapy if you like that song)
The Theme Song to Walker Texas Ranger

I sadly & shamefully admit that I like the first 4 songs on my cheesy list. I also know the lyrics to the theme for Walker Texas Ranger. I will now go for re-programming.

Posted by: MayaB | August 4, 2006 3:05 PM | Report abuse

For pure schmaltz (sp) I can't believe that no one has mentioned the wind beneath my waves, by Bette Midler. She's pretty cool, but not this song!

Posted by: Harley | August 4, 2006 3:05 PM | Report abuse

You've got it all (over him) by the Jets
Hold on (for one more day) by Wilson Phillips
Out of the blue by Debbie Gibson
Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson
Mandy by Barry Manilow
Starry, Starry Night by Don McLean
Auld Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg
All that she wants by Ace of Base
Barbie Girl by Aqua
I hope you dance by Leeann Womack
To where you are by Josh Groban
That's the way it is by Celine Dion
I'm Your Lady by Celine Dion
Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse
Winds of Change by Scorpions

I disagree with people who are listing Abba, Freda Payne, Jim Croce, and Neil Diamond. They are timeless.

Posted by: Sucker for Love Ballads | August 4, 2006 3:07 PM | Report abuse

These lists are great. I'm sad to say I have a special love for power ballads. I like the hair metal in general, but I really love those power ballads. They share iPod space with Black Sabbath, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Manowar, Rob Zombie, Godsmack, Slayer, GWAR, KoRn.... I just try not to let anyone see those power ballads. They are just too cheesy.

My favorites of the power ballads:
18 and Life - Skid Row
Nobody's Fool - Cinderella
Ballad of Jayne - LA Guns
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
Fly to the Angels - Slaughter
Angel - Aerosmith
Angel - Judas Priest
Close My Eyes Forever - Lita Ford & Ozzy
When I'm With You - Sheriff
Headed for a Heartbreak - Winger (yes, Winger. Snort).

Posted by: Metal Chick | August 4, 2006 3:08 PM | Report abuse

My list isn't of bad songs.. but of songs that I was ashamed to say I liked as I was growing up. Music is suppose to be universal and can cross race/gender/culture lines.. but when you grow up in DC and you prefer pop music to go-go or disco/funk to reggae, it is made an issue among your peers.

There isn't a song on either one of my lists that didn't get a ".. da hell is dat? " comment when I listened to it.

Posted by: Niki | August 4, 2006 3:08 PM | Report abuse

I'm 34. I have an Ipod playlist called "Dork." Here's the top 10 of what's on it.

1. "Sing" by The Carpenters
2. "Even Now" by Barry Manilow
3. "Thank You for the Music" Abba
4. "Laughter in the Rain" Neil Sedaka
5. "You Don't Bring me Flowers" Babs & Neil
6. "If I Could Fly" By Benny Mardones?
7. "I'm Free" Kenny Loggins, soundtrack to Footloose. (remember, Kevin Bacon was swinging around the barn?)
8. "Lucille/The Gambler" Kenny Rogers
9. "I Would Do Anything for Love" Meatloaf
10. "Never Gonna Give You Up" Rick Astley (remember him?)


But I object to the Ramone or anything Motown on the list. C'mon - how is WAR an uncool song?

Posted by: I'm Sorry I'm Sorry | August 4, 2006 3:08 PM | Report abuse

@ Suckerforloveballads.. Hold On by Wilson Phillips is CLASSIC. I'd forgotten all about it.. and I've been singing it to myself since I read ur post. Thanks. LOL

Posted by: Niki | August 4, 2006 3:09 PM | Report abuse

"I don't even understand what Afternoon Delight is referring to. Is it some sort of cocktail?"

In case you're not joking....it IS a tasty little cocktail....called "sex."

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:12 PM | Report abuse

Now we're getting some serious cheese!

Lemme go get some crackers.

Posted by: MayaB | August 4, 2006 3:15 PM | Report abuse

Seasons in the Sun was by Terry Jacks.

By the way -- HASSELHOFFIAN CONSPIRACY ALERT -- Hoff's video for "Hooked on a Feeling" is a big fave on The Soup every Friday night. Must be seen to be believed...ooga chaga, indeed.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:15 PM | Report abuse

hey!...get some wine while your getting those crackers!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:16 PM | Report abuse

ooops.... that's "while YOU'RE getting those crackers!"

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Boy, some of these songs are making me wince...ouch...glad I don't have to listen to them as I read...OK, for me my secret songs are by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass....They were huge in the 60's....

Posted by: George | August 4, 2006 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Tiffany's "I think we're alone now"

Posted by: boredatwork | August 4, 2006 3:21 PM | Report abuse


For Sean:

"I'm not in love" by 10cc

Another favorite...

Posted by: Sucker for Love Ballads | August 4, 2006 3:22 PM | Report abuse

a discriminating bride--"The Rainbow Connection" was my wedding song. And here I thought I was the only one!

I can't believe no one has brought up "Milkshake" by Kelis. That is pure cheese.

Posted by: Beth | August 4, 2006 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Yes, lists are definitely veering off into singalong favorites. I defend my earlier Freda Payne and Supremes (Motown) choices for the cheesy drama: Band of Gold, Love Child? DRAH-MAH.

Posted by: kathleen | August 4, 2006 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Make It Real - The Jets

Posted by: hrm | August 4, 2006 3:32 PM | Report abuse

hiding in my ipod or cd player:

love shack by the b 52s
my sharona by the knack
mambo number 5 by lou bega
wreck of the edmund fitzgerald and if you could read my mind by gordon lightfoot
living the vida loca by ricky martin

btw, there was an election where i am yesterday and while waiting (and waiting) for results last night i found myself watching america's got talent and, like driving by a car wreck, was mesmerized by david hasselhoff singing.

is it possible he is unaware of just how bad he is?

Posted by: b | August 4, 2006 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Thanks so much to so many of you for reminding me to download Bread, Captain & Tennille, Englebert and Starland Vocal Band to my already incredibly cheesy IPod playlist entitled "70's Mellow". Obviously, I will have to have a 2nd playlist.

I have to add to the string here that my favorite cheesy download is Andy Gibb's "I want to be your everything"--despite the fact that I am a gay woman, I love him! Any my favorite histrionic cheese to hear on the radio is Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to me Now".

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 3:40 PM | Report abuse

No Backstreet Boys? I am all about "I want it that way." When it comes on, look out.

Celine Dion's duet with Barbra and the song she sings about her son where she goes "Hush, now, I see the light in the sky..."

Anything by Britney

Whoever wrote Secret Lovers made me laugh. I remember when that song came on during my elementary school carpool - my friend and I were so embarrassed when they said "making love" that we would cough over that line. Thanks for the memory.

Posted by: Cheddar | August 4, 2006 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler

The Meatball Oeuvre about "praying 'til the end of time"

Summer of '69- Bryan Adams

Jack & Diane- John Cougar Mellencamp

Electric Blue- Icehouse

and, randomly:
Underneath your Clothes- Shakira

Posted by: Noisette | August 4, 2006 3:50 PM | Report abuse

I think the fact that so many of us have the same 80's and 70's songs on our ipods means that we shouldn't be ashamed of it. How can something be "not cool" when the songs are still (apparently) so popular? For the record, I just went through a bunch of high school and college mix tapes to track down any 80's songs I had missed on itunes.

Posted by: DC in DC | August 4, 2006 3:52 PM | Report abuse

"susudio" and "take me home", phil collins

Posted by: someone | August 4, 2006 3:54 PM | Report abuse

"Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light"- Thanks, discriminating bride. Couldn't think of the title for the life of me.

Posted by: Noisette | August 4, 2006 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Not listed but extremely high on the cheese list: "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks. "We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach" Really bad poetry!

Posted by: kcrorie | August 4, 2006 3:59 PM | Report abuse

To the person asking about Afternoon Delight, it was written after lunch at Clydes. Taffy Danoff is still local and called into Elliot In The Morning not too long ago. They also wrote John Denver's Country Roads.

As for my list of hidden on the Ipod...

Boogie Wonderland- Earth Wind and Fire
Town Called Malice-The Jam
One Way Or Another-Blondie
Melt With You-Modern English
Relax-Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Posted by: rHairing | August 4, 2006 4:02 PM | Report abuse

1. More Than A Feeling, Boston
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-A-Lot
3. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
4. Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Elton John
5. Careless Whisper, Wham!

These are songs that I will only sing along when I'm completely alone, otherwish I pretend to not know the words...

Posted by: miss belle | August 4, 2006 4:03 PM | Report abuse

Just this morning, as I sung along to my satellite radio, I was thinking how uncool it is to enjoy Careless Whisper by George Michael.

Posted by: OSB3 | August 4, 2006 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Okay...um...I have an Andy Gibb album and two Sean Cassidy albums. And I had posters of them and Parker Stevenson on my bedroom wall (a long time ago). I'm so embarrassed. But, I feel better knowing that my husband has an extensive collection of sappy love songs, including Air Supply, April Wine, and Menudo. He's WAY cheesier than I am and I love him for it!

Posted by: Abby | August 4, 2006 4:09 PM | Report abuse

All the songs listed below were #1 hits in the 1970s and are genuine pure Stinson Cheese:

Blue Suede - "Hooked On A Feeling"
Paper Lace - "The Night Chicago Died"
Bay City Rollers - "Saturday Night"
Carl Douglas - "Kung Fu Fighting"
Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods - "Billy, Don't Be A Hero"
The Raiders - "Indian Reservation"
Cher - "Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves"
Helen Reddy - "Delta Dawn"
Maureen McGovern - "The Morning After"
Starland Vocal Band - "Afternoon Delight"
Paul Anka - "You're Having My Baby"
Mary MacGregor - "Torn Between Two Lovers"
Debby Boone - "You Light Up My Life"
Vicki Lawrence - "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia"
BJ Thomas - "Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song"
Captain & Tenille - "Love Will Keep Us Together"
Three Dog Night - "Joy To The World"
Dawn - "Knock Three Times"
A Taste of Honey - "Boogie Oogie Oogie"
Chic - "La Freak"
Rupert Holmes - "Escape (The Pina Colada Song) "
CW McCall - "Convoy"

For more about them, see my blogpost about Fine 70s Cheese

http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2005/10/fine-70s-cheese.html
or
http://tinyurl.com/qxwap

Posted by: yellojkt | August 4, 2006 4:13 PM | Report abuse

So I submitted the first 5 that came to mind, then read the comments above mine, and that triggered the following:
From A Distance, Bette Midler
Step by Step, NKOTB
We Built This City, Starship
America, Neil Diamond

Also, I was so in love with Shaun Cassidy and his overbite! I'm kinda bummed that he's a respectable person now.

Posted by: miss belle | August 4, 2006 4:21 PM | Report abuse

i'm a closet backstreet boys fan - esp. nick carter - "i need you tonite"

and how could anyone not mention the cheesiest of cheesy - i can't believe i actually had this cassette -

All I need - Jack Wagner

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: would never admit this in real life! | August 4, 2006 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Afternoon delight: does not actually refer to sex, though it seems unlikely that it could be anything else when you listen to the lyrics. Apparently the band used to hang out at the Clydes in Georgetown, and would regularly partake of some kind of snack menu in the afternoon (my details here might be a bit fuzzy, but this is the basic gist of it). So they wrote the song as a tribute to Clydes. The song's gold record is actually hanging in the restaurant. I just recently learned this piece of trivia and never actually figured it'd come in handy. Wow.

For pure cheese, let's not forget Tom Jones' "Sex Bomb."

Posted by: LF | August 4, 2006 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Wow. If we're judging some of these songs to be cheesy or fluffy, my iPod is full of Charmin.

Lessee here:

Tarzan Boy - Baltimora
I Wanna Be a Cowboy - Boys Don't Cry
Never Surrender - Corey Hart
Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone - Glass Tiger
And We Danced - Hooters
Walkin' on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Jungle Love - Morris Day and the Time
One Night in Bangkok - Murray Head
Pass the Dutchie - Musical Youth
Cool It Now - New Edition - "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike. If I love a girl who cares who you like!"
Not My Slave - Oingo Boingo
Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell
Sugar Walls - Sheena Easton
Heaven - Bryan Adams

Posted by: Guilty in Silver Spring | August 4, 2006 4:45 PM | Report abuse

yellojkt, that list is like a tune cootie clusterbomb.

Posted by: SonofCarl | August 4, 2006 4:48 PM | Report abuse

WOOLY BULLY!!!

Posted by: Erin | August 4, 2006 4:51 PM | Report abuse

here are mine:

"have you never been mellow?" olivia newton-john

"rhinestone cowboy" glen campbell

"close to you" carpernters

"seasons in the sun" terry jacks

"rose garden" lynn anderson

"baby don't get hooked on me" mac davis

"bounty hunter" molly hatchett

"up up and away" (my beautiful balloon) 5th dimension

"shout" tears for fears

"we're through being cool" devo

it's okay if you want to avoid me now...

Posted by: graham | August 4, 2006 4:51 PM | Report abuse

darlings please - add the following to your list -

I wear my sunglasses at night
Future's so Bright (Gotta Wear Shades)
99 Luft Balloons
And
We got the Beat

Posted by: ex cap girl | August 4, 2006 4:52 PM | Report abuse

oh, and sad eyes by robert john!

Posted by: never in real life | August 4, 2006 4:53 PM | Report abuse

I'm so glad someone else put Ace of Base. I thought I was alone in my shame...

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 4:58 PM | Report abuse

About 70% of these songs are cheesy and horrible. About 10% are decent and in some cases somewhat likable. The other 20% I have never heard before. But I implore everyone to do a bit of research when it comes to making your musical choices. If 10 songs are played any place you go with a radio, eventually most people can't help but to give in. Imagine all the BETTER songs and bands that aren't being played. When the formula Money=Airplay is in effect, nobody but the mediocre artists and the record companies win. Im sure some folks will brush this off as "what a sour puss" I say this to you...Have more respect for one of your senses.

Posted by: Zamora | August 4, 2006 5:04 PM | Report abuse

How about "Playground in My Mind" by Clint Holmes?

"My name is Michael, I got a nickel
I got a nickel, shiny and new
I'm gonna buy me all kinds of candy
That's what I'm gonna do"

Maybe better described as saccharine instead of cheese....

Posted by: dj | August 4, 2006 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Over a hundred posts and no mention of

Popcorn by Hot Butter

?

Posted by: the denise | August 4, 2006 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Okay, so now I don't feel so bad about my cheese. Am I allowed to say OMG Debby Boone with this list?!

Air Supply (all of 'em)
Bread (all of theirs too)
Barry Manilow
I've never been to me (can't remember the artist)

Posted by: Velveeta Queen | August 4, 2006 5:12 PM | Report abuse

"When you see me walking by and the tears are in my eyes...look away, baby look away. And if we meet on the street someday and we don't know what to say..."

Lyrics like that DEFINE a guilty pleasure. As do Celine, Josh Groban, the Carpenters, Bette

BECAUSE even though they might have sold millions under the adult contemporary category, they were never considered "cool."

Um, Springsteen's Ramrod? That's just a great song.

Posted by: Chicago Jen | August 4, 2006 5:19 PM | Report abuse

So many many songs, but I'm simply aghast that no one yet has mentioned 'Jungle Boogie' by Kool and the Gang.

I'm getting the vapors.

Posted by: Sue K | August 4, 2006 5:29 PM | Report abuse

Didn't have time to read through all the posts, but in the ones I did read I didn't see any mention of Newman's favorite NYE entertainment, Christopher Cross. So I submit "Ride Like the Wind" as a guilty pleasure. OK, the entire "Easy Rock" compilation! Which is now playing in my CD player thanks to all these posts...

Oh, and Billy Joel should NEVER be considered uncool cheese! He's STRONG ISLAND, baby! We don't do uncool music there--ok, maybe Eddie Murphy's 1985 ditty "Party All the Time" could be considered slightly less than stellar...

Posted by: The Power of Cheese | August 4, 2006 5:30 PM | Report abuse

Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden came on VH1's awesomely bad love songs a while ago. That song is my guilty pleasure...I would never admit to liking it, except semi-anonymously on the Internet...

Posted by: akm | August 4, 2006 5:53 PM | Report abuse

Wow, someone else said NKOTB! What about Perfect Gentleman...

Lady in Red
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Heaven - Warrant
Don't Know What You Got - Cinderella
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
Informer - Snow
Everything by Bon Jovi and Poison
Out of the Blue - Debbie Gibson


God.. my list goes on!

I am going to go back under my rock now!

Posted by: I love the 80's! | August 4, 2006 6:01 PM | Report abuse

everybody wang chung by wang chung
whip it by devo
from the land down under by men at work
mr. loverman by shabba ranks
99 luftballons by nena
black water by doobie brothers
bohemian rhapsody by queen
actually, anything and everything by queen

Posted by: tom from dc | August 4, 2006 6:21 PM | Report abuse

Sugar Sugar - The Archies
Buttercup - ?? (Why do you build me up buttercup baby just to let me down...)
You can leave your hat on - Tom Jones (From the movie The Full Monty)

Posted by: K.C. | August 4, 2006 6:30 PM | Report abuse

Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups
Patches - Dickey Lee
I Will Follow Him - Little Peggy March
Harper Valley PTA - Jeannie C. Riley
Patches (the other one) - Clarence Carter
The Rain, the Park, & Other Things - The Cowsills
The Air That I Breathe - The Hollies
Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - Edison Lighthouse
Close to You - The Carpenters
Any song by Bread
Muskrat Love - America
Father and Son - Cat Stevens
Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
Go All The Way - The Raspberries
Wishing You Were Here - Chicago
Shannon - Henry Gross
Just Remember I Love You - Firefall
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
MacArthur Park - Richard Harris

Posted by: dcdame | August 4, 2006 6:30 PM | Report abuse

Ok, a few of you touched on it here, but I can't stand it any longer: these songs are not uncool. Anyone who thinks songs like "Waiting for a Star to Fall," "Truly, Madly, Deeply" or "We built this city" are uncool... well I'm afraid that should tell you a little something about yourself. And that little something is that you, my friend, are the uncool one.

EVERYONE loves hearing and singing and dancing to these songs (maybe not all the songs to the same degree, but still) -- just because it's cheesy and fluffy doesn't make it bad or uncool. It drives me nuts when people feel like they have to judge other people's character or be embarrassed to love great music. There's nothing wrong with you if you like Meat Loaf, so just make sure you take a stand and quit judging people if they like Celine Dion. They're both money, baby! No one's music tastes are uncool -- there only cool and uncool PEOPLE.

If it gets people moving on a dance floor, then it's sonic gold.

Some music to add to this list simply because the people submitting stuff might appreciate it:

Take me home tonight (or the lesser known: "Walk on Water" or "Think I'm in love" or "Shakin'") by Eddie Money.
-"It's Alright" (or "Power of Love") by Huey Lewis
-"Rhythm of the Night" by Debarge
-"Come on Over" Christina Aguilera
-"Bye Bye Bye" NSync

Why does it have to be a guilty pleasure? I played songs like this at the parties I threw in college and hot shots were pumping fists and thrusting hips and fly honeys were dropping panties left and right. People love this stuff. Or, at least COOL people love this stuff.

Posted by: Will | August 4, 2006 6:32 PM | Report abuse

Shaun Cassidy:That's Rock N Roll, Morning Girl.

Stray Cats-Rock this Town(Anyone remember them?)

Belinda Carlisle-Heaven is a place on Earth

Neil Diamond-America(hiding in shame)

Bananarama-Cruel Summer

The Bangles-any song

Yaz-Only You

Posted by: HEATHER | August 4, 2006 6:39 PM | Report abuse

The Streak by Ray Stevens

Posted by: michaelm | August 4, 2006 6:43 PM | Report abuse

This post is making my day! Ok, here goes:

Stray Cat Strut by the Stray Cats
"Upstairs at Eric's" album by Yaz
Thank God I'm a Country Boy by John Denver
You're So Vain by Carly Simon
Private Eyes by Hall and Oates
Funky Cold Medina by TonLoc
He's So Shy... don't know who
And We Danced by the Hooters... okay, the whole Nervous Night album, if truth be told
Black Coffee in Bed by Squeeze

This thread is bringing back all kinds of memories. Anyone remember listening to Casey Kasem's Top 40? In middle school, we LIVED to hear the dedications. Now *that's* cheese!

Posted by: ParisFrance | August 4, 2006 6:45 PM | Report abuse

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there! Ahem. OK, class, repeat after me: Squeeze are/were NOT uncool. They are/were WAY cool. Elvis Costello thought they were so cool he produced some of their records. Sheesh.

Thank you.

Posted by: 80s Guy | August 4, 2006 6:49 PM | Report abuse

Ok, ok... Squeeze is not uncool. But I had to put it on the list since it's one of the songs that makes me sing out loud... which IS uncool. Really.

Posted by: ParisFrance | August 4, 2006 6:53 PM | Report abuse

Anything by Luther Vandross. Altho I think my favorite is his remake of Little Anthony and the Imperials "Goin out of my Head". What a talent. Any song he remade he did better

Posted by: anon | August 4, 2006 7:03 PM | Report abuse

Little Millie: 'My Boy Lollipop'
Small Faces" 'Itchycoo Park'
Heart: 'Barracuda'
Journey: 'Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin'
Leslie Gore: It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want to'
Cher: 'Gypsies, Tramps, And Thieves' (lord help me)
Bow Wow Wow: 'I Want Candy'
Culture Club: 'Do You Realy Want To Hurt Me' (sigh, but Boy George DID have a great voice)
Tommy James And The Shondells: 'Crimson And Clover'
And by anyone who covers it, Sonny Bono's old chestnut: 'Needles And Pins(a)'


Posted by: Terry | August 4, 2006 7:08 PM | Report abuse

irresistibly cheesy:

"take my breath away"--berlin

"hopelessly devoted to you"--olivia newton-john

"never say goodbye"--bon jovi

"the flame"--cheap trick

"eternal flame"--the bangles

"mad about you"--belinda carlisle

"heaven"--belinda carlisle

everything by jimmy buffett.

and i'm so glad someone else put "the pina colada" song. i love that one.

Posted by: still thinking | August 4, 2006 7:10 PM | Report abuse

Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Posted by: Can't Say How Much I Hate This Song | August 4, 2006 7:21 PM | Report abuse

I have been able to sing the first line of almost every song listed here. Not sure what that says about my taste in music, but it sure is fun.

I'll have to clear my head before I can add anything to the lists!

Posted by: love this! | August 4, 2006 7:24 PM | Report abuse

Everything by Baby Face, anybody who's going to pay my rent, buy my clothes, cook my dinner, be faithful, never lie, gets my vote.

A lot by Mariah Carey, Mimi's annoying but that girl can "sang."

And to take back a bit, who cares if Keith Sweat was begging. He was the man at the time. Whine, Keith, whine.

Posted by: Guilty Pleasures | August 4, 2006 7:27 PM | Report abuse

Cheesy but great:

Candle in the Wind--Elton John

Tears in Heaven--Eric Clapton

Take it on the Run--REO Speedwagon

We are the World--Various

I Will Always Love You--Whitney Houston/Dolly Parton

Posted by: guilty pleasures | August 4, 2006 7:28 PM | Report abuse

my wife has been making up these knock-knock jokes all day using the word "urine" - here's a good one that's relevant to the conversation.

Knock knock? Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?

"You're in my heart, you're in my soul!"

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 7:30 PM | Report abuse

"toxic" by Britney Spears is about the only song on my iPod that, if seen on my playlsit by another human, the blood would drain from my face in shame. I've noticed a few people have listed Scorpions songs, and -- true story -- I just went to a concert of theirs about a month ago and much to my surprise it was the BEST concert I've seen in years. Something like 5 encores.

Posted by: Perkywits | August 4, 2006 7:39 PM | Report abuse

Can't recall who posted it, but the Avenue Q soundtrack is brilliant. No need to feel embarassed.

Mariah Carey, "Shake It off"
Digital Underground, "The Humpty Dance"
David Lee Murphy, "Dust on the Bottle"
My Fair Lady soundtrack, "Without You"
Kelly Clarkson, "Breakaway"
Oasis, all of What's the Story Morning Glory
UB40 covering Elvis, "Can't Help Falling in Love"
Paul Westerberg, "Dyslexic Heart"
Mariah Carey, "Shake It off"
Paris Hilton, "Stars Are Blind"

Posted by: Becky | August 4, 2006 7:58 PM | Report abuse

One man's meat is another man's cheese.

I like mine imported.

TARKAN! Pure unadulterated feta. More so as his latest album is *in English* yikes

Posted by: D. the D. | August 4, 2006 7:59 PM | Report abuse

I am still upset that Big 100 phased out most of the 60s and 70s music from their playlist. Judging from what I read here, they were so wrong about not having an audience for it.

Posted by: D. the D. | August 4, 2006 8:03 PM | Report abuse

Two people listed Maria Muldaur's "Midnight at the Oasis." When that record first came out, she, and it were the heighth of cool. Nothing cheesy about it, then or now. And "Hang On Sloopy"? Off the scale cool, at the time, and cool today, especially when yu factor in the rumors about what the song's really about.
Here, I'll give you two to prove I'm really Cro-Magnon man: "Alley Oop," by The Hollywood
Argyles, and "The Ballad of New Orleans," by Johnny Horton. "When we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind"---now that's a great line.

Posted by: mycatwhinesconstantly | August 4, 2006 8:49 PM | Report abuse

I'm laughing at some of these entries... lots of really crap-o songs (some I disagree are uncool). Here's one nobody mentioned. Arguably the coolest band ever--the Rolling Stones--really hit a rock 'n roll nadir with "Emotional Rescue." But I still crank it up to 11 on those rare occasions when anyone is (un)cool enough to play it.

Posted by: Matt | August 4, 2006 8:54 PM | Report abuse

Ok, so this is not about songs I have on my ipod (many of those have already been listed), but I am 25 now, and have always had a soft spot for oldies (think '50s, '60s &'70s)--something which is very embarassing and uncool to admit when you are a teenager and all your friends are listening to "cool" music.

And is it sad that I was heartbroken when 104.5 changed from playing oldies to playing more popular music (this happened a LOOOOOONG time ago), and that I eventually came around and listen to Oldies 100.3 (even though it was the reason 104.5 changed--not enough market for 2 oldies stations), and have again had my heart broken since that has changed??

I hope none of my friends know it is me posting this...:)

Posted by: This is so sad | August 4, 2006 9:28 PM | Report abuse

And yet, as tragically uncool as we all profess to be, I don't see too many show tunes.

Or much in the way of folk.

C'mon people, dig deep. Don't be afraid to go THERE.

Posted by: Terry | August 4, 2006 9:42 PM | Report abuse

I'm as old as all of you put together and I can't believe no one's yet posted
The Police - I'll Be Watching you.

T'aint nothing as uncool as
the Traveling Willburys - Handle with Care and End of the Line

...unless it's The Sultans of Swing

Posted by: capecodger | August 4, 2006 9:42 PM | Report abuse

What, no love for Joey Lawrence?? Nothin' my Love Can't Fix is still my favorite song and I don't care who mocks me.

Posted by: anotherLiz | August 4, 2006 9:48 PM | Report abuse

"When I'm With You", Sheriff
"More Than Words Can Say", Alias
"Seasons Change", Expose
"Cover Girl", NKOTB
"Eternal Flame", the Bangles
"Hands to Heaven", Breathe
"Baby Baby", Amy Grant
"Second Chance", 38 Special
"The Flame", Cheap Trick
"The Living Years", Mike & The Mechanics

Good God, this list is awful -- I writhe in shame even as I type (though nowhere near as stylishly as Tawny Kitane)...the late 80s/early 90s were either the very best or very worst of times to be a lovelorn teenager in terms of your soundtrack. Let's just hope that bad taste isn't genetic...

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2006 9:50 PM | Report abuse

And still nobody mentions the heighth of cheese, the depth of cheese, the sheer aroma of cheese that is...

"One Tin Soldier" by I don't remember

From the movie "Billy Jack." Remember?

And, lest we forget,

"They're Coming to Take Me Away" by one of those weird one-hit wonders

"Don't Sleep in the Subway" by Petula Clark

"See You in September" by the Association

"Cheer Up Sleepy Jean" by the Monkees

and

ANYTHING by Bobby Sherman

Posted by: Flea | August 4, 2006 9:50 PM | Report abuse

Man, this list is worse than getting one of these earworms stuck in your head. Gotta share a few more. First,
"Making you're way in the world today,
Takes everything you've got
Taking a break from all your worries,
Sure would help a lot..."

You know the one, Normie, or should I say "Nahh-mie!"

"Whenever I Call You Friend" Kenny Loggins/Stevie Nicks

And one great guilty pleasure of mine is jammin' the Rush. Not just Tom Sawyer, but YYZ, 2112, in fact the more cryptic letter- and number codes the better. Got in the car earlier and a little public station here on the Eastern Shore was playing By-Tor and the Snow Dog. I rocked accordingly.

Posted by: sean | August 4, 2006 10:07 PM | Report abuse

recent cheesy would be gogol bordello's "start wearing purple"

if someone's going to throw in "jungle boogie," then we have to include "brick house"

for best cheesy singalong country song, david alan coe's "call me by my name," especially the last verse.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2006 10:26 PM | Report abuse

All 4 Love - Color Me Badd
You Are the Woman - Firefall
Heaven on the 7th Floor - Paul Nicholas
I think I Love You - Patridge Family
Romeo's Tune - Steve Forbert
Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go - Wham
Anything by the Carpenters

Posted by: Karin8 | August 4, 2006 10:29 PM | Report abuse

You people have no idea. I would like to correct some misperceptions above. "Seasons in the Sun" - as sung by Terry Jacks - is indeed an uncool song, but only Terry Jacks' watered-down version.

However, the song it was tragically ripped off from is called "The Dying Man". It's by Jacques Brel, and is a terribly tragic and disturbing story about a man whose wife cheats with his best friend. Rod McKuen translated it, and Jacks "lightened the lyrics up". What sad things can be done with great poetry.

Posted by: So hip I'm square | August 4, 2006 10:56 PM | Report abuse

I don't like this type of music-- but secretly I sing along to these songs.

Kiss Me- Six Pence None the Richer

Get Low- Lil John and the East Side Boys

Dangerously in Love- Beyonce

My Humps- Black Eyed Peas

Posted by: Over 30 | August 5, 2006 12:24 AM | Report abuse

Take on Me - Ah-ha
Tempted - Squeeze
Black Coffee in Bed - Squeeze
Tainted Love - Soft Cell
Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
Waterloo - Abba
Dancing Queen - Abba
Tiny Dancer - Elton John
Ordinary World - Duran Duran
Don't You Want Me - Human League
True - Spandau Ballet
Mony Mony - Billy Idol

I could go on forever...

Posted by: Stuck in the 80s | August 5, 2006 12:26 AM | Report abuse

I have to admit a soft spot for Rod Stewart's disco-ized cover of "Forever Young" for reasons I don't fully understand. But "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" not cool. No way.

Posted by: gordo | August 5, 2006 12:28 AM | Report abuse

Moonlight - by Starbuck..."the moon looks ready for a wet kiss"

Posted by: whimsey1 | August 5, 2006 1:50 AM | Report abuse

I guess 'uncool' and 'cheesy' is in the eye of the beholder. Play an 80's hair band song or power ballad and both my 13 yr old daughter and I will be singing as loud as we can....She knows more of the words than I do. She just looks at me funny when I sing along to Cher, Pat Benatar, Blondie, Kansas, the Monkees, old Starship and you can't forget the Osmonds - not all of them cheesy but to many young people my daughter's age - they are the height of uncool. But as she tells her peers when they say she listens to weird music - to each their own...and she's not the only 13 year old at the rock concerts we go to...

Posted by: ladyjane | August 5, 2006 2:12 AM | Report abuse

Ladyjane...how right you are!! When my daughter belted out "Layla" (Derek and the Dominoes - 1971) I knew the next generation would be OK despite everything.

Posted by: Whimsey1 | August 5, 2006 2:16 AM | Report abuse

So far I've seen about 30 songs I really like listed, and I don't even agree that all of them are uncool so... I thought I'd focus on the songs I love which haven't been mentioned yet (and if I'm the only one who'll admit to these then so be it):

1. I'll be your everything - Tommy Page
2. Who I am - Jessica Andrews
3. The Gummi Bears theme song from Disney
4. Oh very young - Cat Stevens
5. Looking through the eyes of love - Melissa Manchester
6. Cold summer nights - Francis Magalona
7. Tapestry - Carole King
8. Butterfly kisses - Bob Carlisle
9. No time at all - 'Pippin' soundtrack
10. Everyday I love you - Boyzone

Posted by: esoterica | August 5, 2006 2:55 AM | Report abuse

Okay... ABBA fan, you're a god/goddess! What an amazing selection! That being said, in no particular order:

1. "Independence Day" - Melanie C
2. "Never Had a Dream Come True" - S Club 7
3. "I Want It That Way" - BSB
4. "Invisible Touch" & "Easy Lover" - Genesis
5. "Bette Davis Eyes" - Kim Carnes
6. "Glory of Love" - Peter Cetera
7. "How Can We Be Lovers" - Michael Bolton
8. "My Baby Takes the Morning Train" - Sheena Easton
9. "Heat of the Moment" - Asia
10. "Stay" - Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
11. "Africa" - Toto
12. "Suburbia" - Pet Shop Boys

Posted by: Total Wannabe | August 5, 2006 4:19 AM | Report abuse

*they're coming to take me away* by Napoleon something or other. The B side where it played backwards.

Posted by: PJS | August 5, 2006 6:30 AM | Report abuse

Esoterica-Carol King's tapestry album is never uncool. Great songwriter.

More to add to the list:

Summer Nights-Grease soundtracking

Joyride-Roxette

Moon River-Andy Williams. I know I really shouldn't like it but...

I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world- don't know the group.

The Greatest Love of All- Whitney Houston

Posted by: tardisgirl | August 5, 2006 7:16 AM | Report abuse

Someone mentioned "Cheer Up Sleepy Jean" by the Monkees. That song is called "Daydream Believer" and was written by Neil Diamond. A double shot of cheese, so to speak.

Posted by: hjshorter | August 5, 2006 7:35 AM | Report abuse

Omigod. I can't believe I missed this chat! I have some to add - SO embarassing!

Wasted Time - Skid Row
Against the Odds - Phil Collins
Love is on the Way - Saigon Kick
Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
Must've Been Love - Roxette

I'm the epitomie of uncool. I'm going to iTunes to get some of the songs listed in all yall's comments.

Posted by: uggh | August 5, 2006 9:18 AM | Report abuse

"Year of the Cat" by Al Stewart

Posted by: cochlear implant | August 5, 2006 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Seasons in the Sun *was* Terry Jacks. Cold Ethyl apologizes but offers this excuse: Terry Jacks and his then-wife, Susan, were two members of The Poppy Family. When the rest of the band wouldn't release the song, Terry did it as a solo performer. (Ah, the arcana of Canadian music of the 70s!)

Posted by: byoolin | August 5, 2006 10:47 AM | Report abuse

I had no idea half of these songs were uncool until I read this list. I don't think I've ever been to a single dance (this includes both Homecoming and Prom) that hasn't played 'Baby Got Back' or 'Pour Some Sugar on Me'. And almost everyone I know loves 'Afternoon Delight'. Maybe I've always missed the irony. Or maybe these songs are just so unhip that they've actually obtained a level of cool.

Some of my undeniably unhip favorites?
Dragostea Din Tei --- ozone
the 'oh brother were art thou' soundtrack (yes, thats BLUEGRASS music)

And last but extremely not least (This only gets up here because I cry everytime I hear it):
Good Riddance --- Green Day

Posted by: closet.dork | August 5, 2006 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Oooof.. I've got a lot of these. After all, I'm the guy who thinks the Monkees's "Headquarters" is head and shoulders above "Sgt. Pepper." And if you want to go cheesy, you've got to get really cheesy--"More Than A Feeling" is brie compared to the Velveeta in my closet.
Awright, here goes:
Hooked on a Feeling--Blue Swede
I Play And Sing--Tony Orlando and Dawn
Love Can Be Found--Black Oak Arkansas
Nice To Be With You--Gallery
Chewy, Chewy--Ohio Express
Indian Lake--The Cowsills
Want Ads--The Honey Cone
Can't Get It Out Of My Head--ELO
Gutter Cats vs. The Jets--Alice Cooper
Anything by the Monkees.

Posted by: olddude55 | August 5, 2006 11:57 AM | Report abuse

I have to turn down the volume in my car in slow traffic just so nobody gets a whiff of my cheesiness and then crank it back up when I'm moving again. Which reminds me...

"Drive" by The Cars
"Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman

Posted by: mikeO | August 5, 2006 12:12 PM | Report abuse

My Ipod has more cheese than the Mars Cheese Castle. I don't consider these uncool, just cheesy...and I love them!!!

El Debarge, "Who's Johnny"
Whitney Houston, "How Will I Know"
Bobby Brown, "On Our Own" (Ghostbusters II)
Diesel, "Sauselito Summernight"
Face to Face, "10-9-8"
REO Speedwagon, "Keep on Lovin' You"
Leo Sayer, "More Than I Can Say"
Journey, "The Party's Over (Hopelessly In Love)" (live)
Night Ranger, "Sister Christian" (acoustic!)
Lionel Richie, "Hello"; "Stuck on You"
Hooters, "Where Do the Children Go"
The Jets, "Crush on You", "Curiosity"
Miami Sound Machine, "Bad Boy"
Billy Ocean, "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car"
Celine Dion, "I Drove All Night"
Christopher Cross, "Think of Laura"
Corey Hart, "Never Surrender"
DeBarge, "Who's Holding Donna Now"
Five Star, "If I Say Yes"
Glen Campbell, "Rhinestone Cowboy"
Jay Furguson, "Thunder Island"
Jermaine Jackson, "I Think It's Love"
Kimberley Locke, "8th World Wonder"
Lou Bega, "Mambo #5"
Meatloaf, "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
Neil Diamond, "Sweet Caroline"
New Edition, "Candy Girl"
Musical Youth, "Pass the Dutchie"
Pablo Cruise, "Cool Love"
Paul Davis, "65 Love Affair"
Pat Benatar, "Invincible", "Sex As a Weapon"
Ray Parker, Jr., "You Can't Change That"
Robbie Dupree, "Steal Away"
Cliff Richard, "Dreamin'"
Stevie Wonder, "Part-Time Lover"
Michael Jackson & Mick Jagger, "State of Shock"
Theme Song, "The Facts of Life"
Sweet, "Fox on the Run"
Wham, "Freedom"
Terrence Trent D'Arby, "Dance Little Sister"

Posted by: Jill | August 5, 2006 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Many of my favorites were mentioned already. But, I didn't see Slade's "Run Runaway" (and the wonderful Celtic version by Great Big Sea) or Tom Jones' "She's a Lady." Most embarrassing though is "Tusk" by Fleetwood Mac. The only othe Fleetwood Mac song I like is "The Chain." If any or all of these were already mentioned, sorry. I didn't read all the postings. **Cheers

Posted by: Sheila | August 5, 2006 1:30 PM | Report abuse

"Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins (from the movie Top Gun)

"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" - by the Procalimers...you know, that song that goes "But I would walk 500 miles/And I would walk 500 more/Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles/To fall down at your door"

I love blaring both those songs while I'm driving down the highway, but like someone else mentioned, I turn my volume WAY down if I have to stop or am driving slow enough that other cars might hear what I'm listening to.

I also have this tape that my dad and I once got on a road trip, and it has become standard road trip listening, even though it is god-awful. It includes the above mentioned "Danger Zone"; the song "I Touch Myself" (from Austin Powers); the main song from Beverly Hills Cop; "You Sexy Thing" (from The Full Monty); the Ghostbusters theme song; and a number of other terribly uncool songs. And yet no matter where I go or who I go with the tape always comes out and it inevitably ends up being the best part of the trip!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 5, 2006 10:58 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I don't think you can add the soundtrack to "Oh Brother." It's a completely different genre than pop, and the entire album is amazing. Some of the most respected artists in the style (Alison Krause, Gillian Welch) are on it, and it delves into some really traditional birth-of-the-blues music (Oh Death, Hard Time Killing Floor Blues). I spend a great deal of time working in Appalachia, especially the mountains of TN and NC where bluegrass developed. It's an amazing style of music, and definitely not ever cheesy.

With that said, I have to admit to belting out Rod Stewart's "Maggie May" at the top of my lungs on my way to work this morning...

Posted by: OrganicGal | August 7, 2006 9:43 AM | Report abuse

I LOVE Ace of Base. The whole "The Sign" album. They were before their time.

Posted by: bonusmice | August 7, 2006 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Don't forget "Never Say Goodbye" and "Livin' On a Prayer" by Bon Jovi!

Posted by: Jill | August 7, 2006 11:43 AM | Report abuse

"Maggie May" can never be uncool. I don't care if it is Rod Stewart.

Posted by: Becky | August 7, 2006 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Anything by the Carpenters. My husband even owns their Christmas album. Ohmigod.

Posted by: old enough to know better | August 7, 2006 1:03 PM | Report abuse

My apologies if this one has been mention, but this is the BEST ever:

C.W. McColl "Convoy"

Although I do love Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time," I can't find it on iTunes. But I will downloading some of these posted here.

Posted by: Philly Rick | August 7, 2006 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Hey, here's a list of my favorite songs because I haven't bothered to even read what the point of this post is! (rolls eyes)

Posted by: Oja | August 7, 2006 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Sad to say -- I have the first two Partridge Family albums, and my sister and I still (it's been 35 years!) know all the words. The best part? At the end of "I Think I Love You", where David Cassidy sings "Waa think I love you, waa think I love you," etc. Also, "Point Me In The Direction Of Albuquerque" if only because any song that manages to work in the word Albuquerque deserves points.

Posted by: Donna | August 7, 2006 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Richard Harris' McArthur Park:

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to make it
And I'll never have that recipe again

Posted by: tea | August 7, 2006 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Well, there is the Angry Teenager playlist (with raunchy rap and pop songs that make my 19-year old Stepdaughter say "OMG! YOU have these on your iPod????"). But I am a cheeseball at heart. I have

Englebert Humperdinck's "After the Lovin'"
Charlie Rich "Behind Closed Doors" and "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World"
Steeler's Wheel "Stuck in the Middle with You" (that's actually quite cool)
Herb Alpert "This Guy's In Love with You"

I just can't help myself . . .

Posted by: WMX | August 7, 2006 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time" is indeed the greatest song of all time. The video makes it though, honestly. Thanks to Rick James.

Posted by: anon | August 7, 2006 2:45 PM | Report abuse

I don't feel guilty about anything I listen to, but I have songs by the Archies, the Partridge Family, and the Banana Splits along with NWA, Queens of the Stone Age, and the White Stripes.

Posted by: Larry Davenport | August 7, 2006 4:00 PM | Report abuse

"Magic" by Pilot

Posted by: Ally | August 7, 2006 4:10 PM | Report abuse

I am 41 and have a 4 year old son who heard "I wanna be a cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry on the radio and he loved it (mostly 'cause he says he want to be a cowboy). I can't find it on itunes. Can anyone help? Regarding all of the "uncool" songs, it is amazing how many I have...

Posted by: wjs | August 7, 2006 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Kung Fu Fighting -- Supposedly this was recorded in 10 minutes but it captures the ridiculous and sublime in ways that are timeless.

Relax -- Part of my guilt at loving this is that my wife finds it repulsive, especially the "wet explosion" sound effect after Frankie shouts the word "Come!" Trevor Horn (the producer) remains an unsung genius.

Silly Love Songs -- I am one of those lame dudes who talks about the great bass line on this, but I find the whole song inexplicably mesmerizing. However, I can't go all the way with Paul; "Ebony and Ivory" makes me feel guilty only in that I loath a song with such noble sentiments.

Cattle Song -- Again, blame my wife, she bought the first LeAnn Rimes albums that features this yodeling contest between the 13-year-old wunderbumpkin and Eddy Arnold. Add to that the lyric "He's browned as a fairy/From ridin' the prairie/And he sings with an western drawl.." and you find me in that peculiar realm of bliss that is a guilty pleasure at its best.

Posted by: Tim | August 7, 2006 5:22 PM | Report abuse

....The summer's advance-buzz sensation ....The hottest cult movie of the summer not even out yet the wackily titled Snakes on a Plane ... and already the whole industry is standing still and either expecting car-crash fantasy or chest-thumping box-office bonanza...What's the link-up to the previous topic? Well, simple...how long before it becomes the uncoolest film ever? Blair Witch Project anyone? Or may Sam Jackson saves the movie from uncoolness....

Think about it, Is there a lesson to be learnt in term of Film Marketing, Film production....and if yes, at which moment do you start letting the fans in, 'building' the film like some Wikipidia venture...?

This Wikipedia-like attitude where the fans actually dictate their tastes straight to the filmmakers...
Power to the geeks!
There is already a FULL REVIEW of the film, which hasn't been released as you know on:

http://www.whitemercury.com/articles/movies/SnakesonaPlaneReview.html


Posted by: SuperMatrix | August 7, 2006 7:33 PM | Report abuse

very little in my collection embarrasses me these days. i'll even admit to my mad fling with the music of hanson one summer. but i cannot, *cannot*, believe that hall & oates is or ever was cool. yet don't we all know the lyrics to "maneater"?

Posted by: olordthecarnage | August 7, 2006 10:43 PM | Report abuse

For those who have tapes and want to put them on the iPod (or disc), I use the Plus2 deck. It is VERY cool: http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/drives/7a8d/

I didn't see "One Night in Bangkok" (Chess) on this list, and I love that one! Sounds like lots of people like 'uncool' songs, and what's wrong with that?!!

Posted by: virtualadvisor | August 8, 2006 10:59 AM | Report abuse

This is incredibly late and shows me that I should never take a weekend off again. Guilty pleasures on my iPod?

1) Gunther- The Ding Dong Song
2) Britney Spears- Hit Me Baby One More Time
3) Seal- Kiss From a Rose
4) Bryan Adams- Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman
5).38 Special- Hold On Loosely (Which, in my defense, I am only ashamed of because of a sorority sisters who disdainfully said, "Um, 80's much?" when she heard it in my car.)

On a note, if you google Gunther, he is NSFW.

Posted by: Mason Patriot | August 8, 2006 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Kiss from a Rose - Seal
Hit Me One More Time - Britney

And then in the whole entire cd's section:

Pop - U2

Posted by: dcdeskjob | August 8, 2006 12:39 PM | Report abuse

In no particular order:

"Without You" - Nilsson
"Magic" - Pilot
"Want Ads" - Honey Cone
"You Don't Have to Be A Star to Be in My Show" - Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis (The bass track was by Motown legend James Jamerson.)
"You Are Everything" - Stylistics
"You're My First, My Last, My Everything" - Barry White
"I'm Not in Love" - 10CC
"Love is On the Way" - Saigon Kick

Would the pre-disco and post-disco Bee Gees qualify? I like "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" and "Run to Me."

Posted by: Tonio | August 8, 2006 12:51 PM | Report abuse

"Here we come
Walking down the street.
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet.

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees!"

*sigh* I had such a thing for Peter Tork.

The best thing about itunes is downloading all the cheesy songs without buying a whole CD. A lot of the songs listed here are already on my poor ipod, but I'm making notes to look for more.

Posted by: wma | August 8, 2006 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Just came across this gem on my iPod:
Fleetwood Mac- Tell Me Lies

Posted by: Mason Patriot | August 8, 2006 2:45 PM | Report abuse

The Rain, the Park, & Other Things - The Cowsills

This is a very cool song, how could it be labeled otherwise?

and i was HEARTBROKEN when I heard Falco had died from an accident. I loved his songs.

Posted by: Candy | August 8, 2006 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Tuesday Afternoon - Moody Blues
I think we're alone now - Tommy James and the Shondells
Hello its me - Todd Rundgren

Posted by: TanTan | August 8, 2006 3:29 PM | Report abuse

6. "Wildfire" -- Michael Martin Murray

That would be Michael Martin MURPHEY. (Yes, with an "e")

Posted by: J-Man | August 8, 2006 11:28 PM | Report abuse

I actually downloaded from iTunes, and thus paid $1 for: "Precious and Few" by Climax.

I like it. I admit it.

Posted by: Steve | August 9, 2006 8:51 AM | Report abuse

Well, I would have said "Spanish Eyes" as sung by Al Martino, but since Bob Dylan just played it on this week's Theme Time Radio, I now feel totally cooooool.

Posted by: MHarding | August 9, 2006 10:23 AM | Report abuse

I can't believe I missed this discussion!

My uncool songs that I loooove, in addition to some already mentioned and some current releases (Stars Are Blind*AHEM*):

1) "Touch Me" and "Naughty Girls Need Love Too" --Samantha Fox
2) "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" --Robert Palmer
3) "2 Legit to Quit" --MC Hammer
4) "If You Wanna Be My Lover" --Spice Girls
5) "Poison" --Alice Cooper

Posted by: JoJo | August 9, 2006 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Rick Astley!!! Total Cheese, but I love it.

And I wholeheartedly object to Neil Diamond & Jane's Addiction as cheese - "cracklin' rose" is an amazing song, and Jane's Addiction is one of the most influential rock bands of the 90's.

Posted by: Grace | August 9, 2006 3:44 PM | Report abuse

"What do the simple folks do?" from teh Camelot Soundtrack

"Me so Horny" 2 Live Crew

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" Gordon Lightfoot

"Rumpshaker" (shake baby shake baby 123)

"Theme from Ice Castles"

"Desert Moon" - guy from Styx

"Hello" Lionel Richie

"I made it through the rain" Barry Manilow

I agree with many of you, there's no way Squeeze, the Jam (Come on- town called Malice???), or David Bowie could ever be uncool.

Posted by: Sarah | August 9, 2006 4:12 PM | Report abuse

and how about the Archie's classic "Sugar Sugar" ?

Posted by: frankiefrisch | August 9, 2006 6:12 PM | Report abuse

Thanks you Al!

I thought I was alone in liking Weird Al music!

My favorite uncool song is"Albuquerque" by Weird Al.

It's probably one of the most stupid songs you'll ever hear, but no matter how many times I listen to it, I crack up laughing!

Posted by: bassplayer121 | August 9, 2006 7:58 PM | Report abuse

"It's going down" by Yung Joc

First song about diarrhea ever written.

Posted by: no hip-no hop | August 9, 2006 8:01 PM | Report abuse

The uncoolest of the uncool:

Hootie and the Blowfish

Posted by: how could we forget... | August 9, 2006 8:08 PM | Report abuse

Hopelessly Devoted To You- Olivia Newton-John
All Out of Love- Air Supply
Wait- Cheap Trick
Eye of the Tiger- Survivor
Sledgehammer- Peter Gabriel

Posted by: Not Ashamed | August 11, 2006 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Folks, you want real cheese, there's only ONE true contender. And yes, it lives in my record collection.

The man who brought you both Meat Loaf and Bonnie Tyler's biggest hits (he even sings the "turn around, bright eyes" line in "Total Eclipse") actually released his own solo album in 1982.

It came complete with a separate EP with both instrumental prologue and vocal epilogue.

Sample lyric -- "Surf's up ... and so am I."

Yes, we're talking Jim Steinman here. The album's called "Bad for Good" -- quite possibly the world's first self-reviewing record!

As for that epilogue, Meat Loaf rereleased it as a single 25 or so years later -- "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through."

Posted by: Happy for anonymity | August 15, 2006 8:48 AM | Report abuse

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