Overblown Rumor of the Summer: Brangelina Breakup?
Considering the big headlines of just a couple weeks ago (Pam and Kid Rock, Mel Gibson) and the massive "SoaP" hype hangover, celebrity news sites are somewhat becalmed by a relatively uneventful late August. Cunning marketing execs try to take advantage of the news vacuum to drum up interest in novelty releases, photogs flock to pools and beaches for a few last shots of skimpy Speedos and so-what somehow passes for breaking news.
Conditions are therefore perfect for The Overblown Rumor.
In this instance, a rumor so anemic Nicole Richie could best it in a cage match is multiplying across the the Web like so many Tribbles. Being a responsible, restrained purveyor of celebrity scuttlebutt, I have no choice but ignore it and return to the distribution of stories of import.
Who am I kidding?
IS ARE IS, LIKE, SO OVER!
To summarize: Brad is still in love with Jennifer Aniston, who put him first and stroked his ego appropriately. Angelina (refreshingly described in many of the above reports as "pillow-lipped") is fed up with the now near-constant fighting and wants to take the family back to Namibia where the kids can grow up as citizens of the world. Her first step on the road to the world is apparently L.A.'s swank Hotel Bel Air where she is currently holed up with the kids. Brad remains in Malibu waiting for Aniston to return his calls.
So far, the only grain of truth I'm able to find in any of this is that Brad's last name is, in fact, Pitt and Tribbles can "reabsorb their young in harsh conditions."
But, just in case, don't say you weren't warned because this will not happen again.
| August 23, 2006; 10:44 AM ET
Categories: Brangelina, Celebrities, Celebritology 101
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