A Hot Fall for Celeb Watchers

Summer is now over. Gone are the long, hot days of subsisting on Lindsay Lohan bikini pix and Jen and Vince's yes/no/maybe we're dating game.

If Celebritology were a sport, I'd say our season has officially kicked off. The last few days alone have provided us with enough water cooler talk to cause a noticeable slippage in national productivity: Tom Cruise apologized to Brooke Shields, Rosie and Katie made their debuts, and we finally saw little Suri.

Paris takes a call after her arrest for suspected drunk driving. (AP)

I didn't dare hope for more. But then Paris Hilton (video) went and got herself arrested for suspected drunk driving.

Could it be that the Celebritology gods are smiling on us? Yes, I think so. Because post-arrest Hilton gave a radio interview and said she was driving fast because: "I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out Burger."

Pure gold.

We're glad Paris and all other drivers in the vicinity survived her reckless hunger and hope this incident serves as a lesson to heiresses everywhere: no driving the Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren if you've had a margarita on an empty stomach. Also, don't get pulled over without Brandon Davis around to make things interesting.

Still, it's a good omen for Celebritologers. The planets must be aligned correctly for some wicked fall star-gazing. What will the coming days bring?

When will Britney deliver baby no. 2? What will Nicole Richie say about Paris on "Tyra" this Tuesday? When will I write a post comparing Richie to these? How long will it take for K-Fed's single to be re-absorbed by the ghost of Vanilla Ice?

Let's find out together.