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Posted at 11:58 AM ET, 11/14/2006

From the desk of Oprah Winfrey...

By Liz Kelly


Dear Barbara,

The enclosed photo is not one of my favorite things. Why? It's not because of the satanic robe/drapery with which you've obscured your rapidly shrinking frame. It's not even because I'm afraid your proximity will somehow taint me with "View" stank. It is because you are squeezing my cheeks in a highly annoying manner.

In short, don't ever touch me again. I don't care if you've interviewed Castro, no one touches O. Except maybe Gayle Stedman, but trust me, there is no photographic evidence.

- Oprah

p.s. Rosie is doing a fab job.

By Liz Kelly  | November 14, 2006; 11:58 AM ET
Categories:  Oprah Winfrey  
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