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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 01/23/2007

Courtney's Love Connection

By Liz Kelly

Courtney Love. (Getty Images)

Strange portents come in many forms. For instance, surely some major shift to the fabric of the universe is responsible for Courtney Love's foray into online dating. The widow of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain says she was basically rejected by online dating powerhouse

Writes Love on her Web site:

"Gurss what? After an hour plus of this thing they tell me that two percent of thier 'Cliermnts ar elike me and there was noone for me."

Spelling issues aside, suspension of disbelief is needed to seamlessly merge the formerly fierce Hole front woman and the most vanilla of matchmaking services into a comprehensible thought. One recoils. The reaction is not dissimilar to, say, seeing John Travolta in drag. Does not compute.

Once the concept is digested, though, Love's online search for romance isn't all that shocking. She's a middle-aged single mom who has spent the last decade or so struggling with addiction -- not exactly optimal positioning for meeting Mr. Right.

Courtney deserves a second chance, so with that in mind, I've written up a few tips for Courtney's next foray into the singles ad scene:

1. Spell check.
2. Ads looking for "king of Grunge" not likely to score many returns.
3. Ix-nay on the Web site stream-of-consciousness stuff.
4. Downplay the arrest for breaking into the home of a previous boyfriend.
5. Two words: Alec Baldwin.

By Liz Kelly  | January 23, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Oh god. Courtney and I are soulmates. EHarmony told me the same thing.

[Off to off myself now...]

Posted by: Lvitsa | January 23, 2007 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Oooh she should do Date Lab!

Posted by: not bluto | January 23, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Dating tips for Courtney Love

- Place an ad on the community bulletin board at Whole Foods.
- Attend adult education classes at UCLA.
-Date someone you work with (Hillary Swank, Courtney Cox, Ben Affleck)
-Have your agent introduce you to someone (Brad and Jen)
-Work with a model (Halle Berry)
-Break up a marriage (Angelina Joli, Owen Wilson)

Posted by: Lisa | January 23, 2007 11:52 AM | Report abuse

eHarmony is a rip off. $50 to maybe match you up with someone (usually someone just doing the free trial, and nothing can happen unless that person also pays the $50.)

Use craigslist Courtney. It's free, and you're more likely to find your type there.

Posted by: BF | January 23, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I believe the proper Vader-esque response is "DO NOT WANT"

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | January 23, 2007 12:03 PM | Report abuse

I just feel bad for her.

Posted by: Pompous Magnus | January 23, 2007 12:05 PM | Report abuse

I bet the Wash Times loves eHarmony.

Posted by: not bluto | January 23, 2007 12:13 PM | Report abuse

Yes! Date lab, baby, date lab!

Posted by: mean guy down south | January 23, 2007 12:14 PM | Report abuse

I was told about the same thing - that I was smart, fun to be with, etc. but that this would be hard to match! Huh? The only matches I got in a one year subscription were men 200 miles away (and only two of these) who were over 50 and had no shirt on ! OK with over 50 but no shirt, come on UGH... Total rip-off

If anyone has good ideas of meeting people over 45, let me know !

Posted by: Patricia Kay | January 23, 2007 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Ever notice how much the couples in those eHarmony ads resemble one another? Thus unless David Lee Roth signs up, Courtney is doomed.

Posted by: KiKi | January 23, 2007 12:40 PM | Report abuse

1. Ease up on the plastic surgery, you hardly look like Courtney anymore (then again, this may be a good thing). 2. Throw out all those shredded-looking, fishtail-hemmed, fake cleavage-baring get ups you normally wear. Newsflash: Tina Knowles is no clothing designer, unless you're working some place off, off the Strip.

Posted by: vjl | January 23, 2007 12:49 PM | Report abuse

I have a soft spot for Courtney and wish her all the luck in the world and truly hope she finds happiness. Unfortunately, online dating can be very frustrating, particularly for those of us who are not "cookie cutter" people with perfect backgrounds, no baggage and sans the perfect families. Art shows and openings, concerts of all types and outdoor stuff is much better than online dating. You might not meet anyone but at least you will not be "buying hope"

Posted by: Patricia Kay | January 23, 2007 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Note to Courtney: go back to attending AA meetings. If you can get through a few steps and stick with it you might be worth dating. You are in the 10 Foot Pole category and likely to stay there until you straighten yourself out.

Posted by: Judge C. Crater | January 23, 2007 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Yes, and isn't it true that AA meetings are a great place to hook up?
Why isn't some one making a reality show out of this? Alec Baldwin, Courtney, Liza Minelli (oops, think that has already been done). Get those singles out there on blind dates.

Posted by: Barb | January 23, 2007 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Online dating has worked well for me but I'll admit that I went for the 45 & up, which in addition to being my bracket was, I figured, and underserved market niche.

Over 45 ideas: eschew nothing, just don't sit home. I'm a great guy but I just can't go around knocking on doors, hoping for the best, Bars, socials, meetings, happy hours, work things, apartment/condo/homeowner association things, be seen around your pool, etc. If you find yourself saying I don't date people who live/work/recreate near me, then you're shutting yourself off.

Posted by: Old_enough | January 23, 2007 2:08 PM | Report abuse

Has she tried dating younger men?

It seems to be working for Demi and Whitney's gotten on the bandwagon. There might be something to it.

Posted by: petal | January 23, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse

I read somewhere about a week ago that Courtney Love said Edward Norton was the best boyfriend she ever had.
It's a shame that it's taken her this long to figure that out. But smart of Edward to run baby run.

Posted by: Melissa | January 23, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

My friends and I have this running joke that if Halle Berry can't keep a man what chance do the rest of us have. Well she seems to be happy and still bunned up with the model, so..........

Posted by: carmen | January 23, 2007 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Carmen me and my friends say the same thing about Halle. We used to add Vanessa Williams to the saying as well but after she showed up at the Goldern Globes with that hairdo I am starting to understand Rick Fox a little better.

Posted by: Marie | January 23, 2007 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Ol' Court can look up my profile and see what she thinks. But she would have to travel, or move here. Although the thought of a close by Courtney Love jonesing for some loving when you are trying to work is kinda scary.

Posted by: STick | January 23, 2007 3:38 PM | Report abuse

There are very valid reasons -- many, many, many reasons -- this hideous queen b*tch of the world's talentless idiot hanger-on melodramatists, wealthy and famous infinitely beyond merit, deserves to be alone and rejected. It's about time, and her own fault.

It would appear, then, that there's some order in the universe, after all.

Let's just hope a new album of her "music" doesn't emerge from the experience (groan -- while true artists starve!).

BTW, I'm not a fan of hers...

Posted by: Beau Tochs | January 23, 2007 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone heard that "Trump: The World's Finest Super Premium Vodka" is produced with just a drop of Trump's urine in every batch?

Posted by: Orbitingminkey | January 23, 2007 6:47 PM | Report abuse

Ah, good to know that I'm not the only one having a hard time making that online connection. Although, you know, I'm a little more sober and haven't had as much cosmetic surgery...and I don't have a kid...and I didn't kill my husband.
I'm off to score now, thanks C.Love for bringing me down.

Posted by: miss belle | January 23, 2007 8:19 PM | Report abuse

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