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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 01/ 5/2007

Friday List: Dumbest Movie Moments

By Liz Kelly

I've been saving this Friday list topic for a rainy day and, at least in D.C., that day is today. I can think of nothing I'd rather do than curl up with my laptop and a hot cup of tea and spend the day getting listy with you.

To that end, please turn your attention to exhibit A: Amazing Planet's list of the 49 Dumbest Movie Moments. Though a dumb enough skydiving sequence from "Point Break" tops this list, some entries are a stretch. For instance, I don't think I'd have included Jodie Foster's space travel scene from "Contact" or "Cape Fear's" climax.

Where are the moments that completely ruin the mood and shatter movie magic? Where is Patrick Swayze saying "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" in "Dirty Dancing" or "Top Gun's" Tom Cruise singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" or pretty much any scene from "Waterworld?"

I think we can do better. Share your nominees for dumbest movie moments below. I'll be checking back in throughout the day.

By Liz Kelly  | January 5, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Comments

How was Saw not on that list?? I laughed out loud at least 5 times! It was not the least bit scary.

Posted by: not bluto | January 5, 2007 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Leo screaming out "I'm King of the World" in Titanic.

Harry Potter acting similarly atop a hippogriff in "Prisoner of Azkaban."

Posted by: Kelli | January 5, 2007 11:04 AM | Report abuse

By dumb do we mean pure unintentional comedy? Because if so, then "nobody puts Baby in the corner" is at/near the top of the list, agreed.

Top Gun has many better moments than "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling." Just a minute or two before the song, for example, Anthony Edwards actually says "the list is long and distinguished, but so is my johnson."

Posted by: Dave | January 5, 2007 11:09 AM | Report abuse

What? "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" is the best-known and best-loved line from "Dirty Dancing"! And the singing scene in "Top Gun" is classic (him singing it supposedly at his wedding to Katie Holmes though is weird considering she was 5 when that came out).

I think the dumbest movie moment EVER is the end of "War of the Worlds" when Tom Cruise, after the literal hell he has been through to get to Boston, arrives at his wife's parents to find them happy, safe, sound, and looking like they just finished a nice Sunday dinner. And his son is alive?! Never in my life have I wanted my money back from a theater more than at that moment. In my opinion, that was THE worst ending to a movie. Ever.

The second dumbest moment is anytime slow motion is used unnecessarily to reinfore the mood or the moment onscreen. Slow motion should only be used in action sequences, like a car going off a building or something. Otherwise it completely ruins the scene.

Posted by: Melinda | January 5, 2007 11:11 AM | Report abuse

I definitely agree with the Titanic, Signs and The Sweetest Thing scenes...

Can we add every scene in The Black Dahlia to the list...15 minutes into that movie and I looked at my friend and said "Was this supposed to be a comedy?" I laughed till I cried at some of the scenes because they were so bad.

Posted by: sunpop | January 5, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

How about Ben Afleck's shining moment as a civil servant talking to the humble townsfolk in Jersey Girl? Or - well, pretty much any other moment in that movie, actually.

Posted by: Amy | January 5, 2007 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I agree, how could they NOT have Waterworld's "Hey, if you turn the kid upside down, it all makes sense!"

I have to disagree with the inclusion of the aliens from Life of Brian and the Diva from Fifth Element. Both of those scenes were brilliant!

Also, how's about including Red Dawn. If Russians were going to attach the U.S. at the height of the cold war, they would start in a remote town in Colorado. Yeah, THAT makes sense!

Posted by: Organic Gal | January 5, 2007 11:32 AM | Report abuse

The War of the Worlds .... the premise. Thousands of 100 ton robots buried in the earth for millenia? PUULLLLEEEEASE! And what eventually killed them? Their warranty expired?

Posted by: dogdust | January 5, 2007 11:33 AM | Report abuse

The part in X-men when Storm says that corny line "do you know what happens when a frog is struck by lightening? The same as everything else"... Or something similarly corny. I declare my friends and I have replayed that scene a million times to revel in its pure corniness!!

Posted by: Venus | January 5, 2007 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Premise of "Paycheck" with Ben Affleck - they hired him to invent it and erased his mind so he wouldn't remember how to do it - but they patented it, which means they would have to tell the world how they did it! (or enough for someone to recreate it!)

Posted by: Betty | January 5, 2007 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Four Weddings and a Funeral when Andie MacDowell says "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed." Ugh. Worst line ever delivered.

Posted by: fishhead | January 5, 2007 11:51 AM | Report abuse

When Bridget Jones teaches the Thai female prisoners to sing and dance to Like a Virgin in the second movie

Posted by: mfd | January 5, 2007 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Star Wars Episode I. Two words: Jar Jar. That and the midichlorine-whatever explanation for the Force. I remember the whole theater doing a collective WTF when that spewed out.

Posted by: Xopher | January 5, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Yes! Andie McDowell (and the screenwriter) nearly killed the entire movie with "Is it raining?" --- aaaaagh, I want to throw up even thinking about it!

Posted by: 4W&aF | January 5, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

The Da Vinci Code. All of it.

Posted by: Stick | January 5, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

The whole Highlander II should've been tops. Not only do you have the immortals becoming space aliens (and somehow travelling through time, but you got the ridicuouls ozone shield which blocks off the sunlight. So if there's no sunlight, how are the crops growing? How has the earth not entered an ice age? Wouldn't pollution be at an alltime high from the need to keep lights on 24/7?

The fact that Highlander III starts off by saying Highlander II never happened shows just how bad, and ridiculous II was.

Posted by: BF | January 5, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

1. The orgasm in the restaurant scene in the first Matrix. I thought it was unnecessary, unerotic, and dorky.

2. The sweaty, slo-mo dance scene in the second Matrix. I almost walked out of that movie because there were so many stupid moments.

Posted by: Wash DC | January 5, 2007 12:03 PM | Report abuse

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner" is the BEST scene!!!! What are you talking about? It's awesome :/

Posted by: Alexandria | January 5, 2007 12:05 PM | Report abuse

But the cheese of Bridget Jones movies are the best part! I also tend to hate Hairspray and Cry Baby, but don't people like them for the cheese factor?

How about Billie Jean all tore-up-wet-suit for dumb in the Legend of Billie Jean?

Posted by: not bluto | January 5, 2007 12:07 PM | Report abuse

I agree with the daVinci Code.... especially the scene where the villain's chauffeur/valet says "I'll take your secret to my grave," and then drinks from the flask bad guy offers him.

Well, duh!

Of course the dumbest is "Sophie, you're the grail," or whatever he said...by then it hard to pay attention it was so bad.

Posted by: b | January 5, 2007 12:07 PM | Report abuse

I would like to add almost the whole movie "The family stone." Awful movie, awful family, the only happiness I felt was at the end!

Posted by: Irish girl | January 5, 2007 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Road House with Patrick Swayze is the dumbest movie ever made. It used comes on every rainy weekend on cable, and sometimes it came on twice in the same day!

Posted by: Lisa | January 5, 2007 12:09 PM | Report abuse

The "Bend and Snap" scene in Legally Blonde.

Posted by: amolsen | January 5, 2007 12:12 PM | Report abuse

I love the movie Clueless, but I always thought it was so dumb (and a bit creepy) that Alicia Silverstone's character ends up dating her stepbrother.

Also, I cringe everytime I see that scene in The American President when Annette Benning's character arrives late to the xmas party and says, "Sorry...I got stuck around Dupont Circle" and Martin Sheen's character says, "What were you doing on The Hill?" Heh--no wonder she was late; she was in the wrong part of the city! That one exchange just ruined the whole movie for me.

Posted by: MDR | January 5, 2007 12:14 PM | Report abuse

bend and snap scene from legally blond.

Posted by: duhh | January 5, 2007 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Top Gun is full of unintentional comedy, and, more hilariously, unacknowledged homoeroticism. I loved the move as a kid, but watched it again as an adult a couple of years ago and couldn't get over how incredibly gay the whole movie is, from beginning to end! Ripped, shirtless guys playing volleyball in tight jeans whilst slapping eachother on the butt? The locker-room confrontation between the Ice Man and Tom Cruise, where they seriously look like they're a moment away from kissing and starting a towel-snap-a-licious orgy? That coupled with the utter lameness of the jokes and plot devices (which I thought were "so cool" when I saw it as a kid) had me in stitches throughout the movie. I'm amazed that no one seemed to notice this stuff when the movie came out...of course, maybe they did, but I was nine, what did I know?

Posted by: JKR | January 5, 2007 12:20 PM | Report abuse

The whole "The Patriot" movie with Mel Gibson was terrible, but when yet another son dies at the middle end, to increase his rage and take on the Brits...come on, I literally said out loud, this is the worst movie, ever.

Posted by: DC | January 5, 2007 12:21 PM | Report abuse

every time ban affleck and jlo opened their mouths in gigli....nuff said

Posted by: McLean | January 5, 2007 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Dumbest moment: in "Sid and Nancy" when Nancy screams "Sid, what about the farewell drugs?"

That has got to be my favorite break up line ever. Sadly, I've only gotten to use it 2 or 3 times.

Posted by: jessker2 | January 5, 2007 12:24 PM | Report abuse

oh oh oh oh....one more...any scene from Tremors 2 3 and 4. I am not counting the first one, beacuse that one was campy and knew it was made to be stupid.

Posted by: McLean | January 5, 2007 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Anything in Caddyshack II or Grease II. maybe the worst sequels ever.

Posted by: sequel | January 5, 2007 12:34 PM | Report abuse

The scene in Armageddon (OK the whole movie, but anyway) where Steve Buscemi (what was he doing in that movie?!) goes nuts when they are out in space. It reminded me of the brilliant Ren and Stimpy cartoon episode with "Space Madness!!"

Posted by: College Park | January 5, 2007 12:36 PM | Report abuse

#45 "The Bourne Identity" scene doesn't belong on this list. There's a bunch of passports, money and a gun in a deposit box. And the scene is on the list because the character didn't immediately think "I'm a secret agent"? Why is that bad? Characters making impossible leaps to conclusions ruins many movies.

Who would think "agent" from the get go? If you found that stuff in your neighbor's fridge, would you think "Obviously, this person is a spy for the CIA" or would you suspect he was a criminal of some sort?

Posted by: gretel | January 5, 2007 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Re #16, only "sickos" could find 56 year old Uhura sexy? Wait til you get older, kids, you should be so lucky to look that good at 56!

Posted by: 58 | January 5, 2007 12:38 PM | Report abuse

AND another thing...

Also high on my personal list of dumb movie moments are anytime a woman ever has a baby on screen, ever-- pick any one, whether a movie about having a baby or one where having a baby is incidental. The labor/birth process is always portrayed in ridiculously cartoonish terms, at hyper-speed: woman is going about her business; water breaks releasing what appears to be 5 or 6 gallons of water on her shoes at a hilariously inconvenient moment; then, woman screams "Honey, it's time!" and doesn't stop screaming and generally wigging out until, we are led to believe, anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes later out pops what appears to be a newborn that looks remarkably similar to a 15 pound smiling four month old that we are never-the-less to believe is a newborn because it has a little dollop of pink gel on his forehead. Message: birth is scary, horrific, involves lots of screaming, goes very, very fast and could not be survived without a handsome doctor/policeman/fire-fighter to save the day-- as viewers, we are invited either laugh at character's bungling attempts to cope with this horror, or be dramatically entranced by the immanent danger mother and baby are in at all times during labor.

My husband was shocked (shocked!) to learn in our childbirth class that: water breaking usually releases just a trickle of fluid (no amusing "kaboosh-splash!" effect), that labor begins several hours before any pushing occurs and that any woman (or man) who thinks its time for a hilariously fast scramble to the hospital when the first contraction hits is in for a long and boring wait; and, finally, that labor/birth is mostly a pretty quiet affair (we have yet to see a birth video of any kind, natural birth or otherwise, with a woman screaming like a banshee, which is de rigeur in movies). My hubby said after seeing his first birth video-- "That's nothing like I thought it would be-- it was so quiet. On t.v. everyone's always screaming!"

But I guess there's no comedy or drama in depicting normal labors on-screen... so we keep getting the Hollywood satire of it.

Posted by: JKR | January 5, 2007 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Ditto to the War of the Worlds(apparently the aliens didn't know that Boston existed) and Waterworld (what on earth were they doing for water, were they drinking waste or something).

From the opening to the closing scenes of "Stuck on You". Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear are conjoined twins and yawn, yawn, not funny. I would demand my money back but it was some of the best sleep I ever got at a movie.

"Enough" with Jennifer Lopez and others. I owed a friend and after that movie she owed me. I can't quite settle on the stupidest moment in that movie because the whole thing was dumb. It was about a serious subject but dear mother of invention it was dumb.

Posted by: petal | January 5, 2007 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Ben Affleck (and Kevin Smith for that matter) - what about that horrible, long-winded harangue in the rain by Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy? Ugh! Having to listen to her yucky nasally voice rant on-and-on for what seems like 5 minutes is enough to make your ears bleed. And, as in every Kevin Smith movie tirade, the recipient of such rant (in this case Affleck) just stands there gobsmacked...as if suddenly enlightened. Ridiculous.

And Clerks was such a great movie. Sigh.

Posted by: D | January 5, 2007 12:42 PM | Report abuse

When Mickey Rourke's character comes riding up ON A HORSE to the woman of his dreams at the end of Diner, I thought that I was going to pee in my pants. How lame was that?

Posted by: Diner | January 5, 2007 12:52 PM | Report abuse

ok lets see... i think the rule has to be it's NOT part of the premise... so if a movie is silly - a silly moment cant really count (aka the Cole Porter number from Tank Girl)... with that qualification:

"You're the man now, dog" - Sean Connery, Finding Forrester -- a stupidity that inspired a meme.

As for 'ruining the mood and shattering the movie magic' - how about the moment Keanu Reeves opens his mouth in Much Ado About Nothing.

Or Jack Nicholson's Joker at the Art Museum destroying paintings to the sound of Prince.

Or Demi Moore to Emilio Estevez (waiting in the getaway car) in Wisdom
"I went to get some Tofutti"...

I do think the 'plugging the apple powerbook into the mothership to give it a virus' in Independence Day is well deserved on the list though. God that one made me bout fall out of my seat laughing at the time.

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | January 5, 2007 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Electra with Jennifer Garner. Ummm... which scene do I pick. When the ninjas are going to kill the guy and his daughter but she gets there first and kills them and the green dust. The green dust did it for me.

Oh and the scene where we find out that the little girl has a power. The power to swing metal switches, yeah that was a huge pay off. Heck the whole movie was crapola.

Posted by: Petal | January 5, 2007 12:53 PM | Report abuse

how about any scene Keanu Reeves was in in "Twelfth Night/As You Like It"?
The man, who's signature line in every movie is "Whoa", in a Shakespeare? Please...that has to be the stupidest concept ever. Granted, it was a comedy--but not of errors!
And anything in any movie by Ed Wood. But then, Plan 9 From Outer Space is classic in it's awfulness.

Posted by: Movie buff | January 5, 2007 12:53 PM | Report abuse

OOoooops...editing my shakespear rant to get the right movie. It WAS much ado about nothing.

Posted by: Movie Buff | January 5, 2007 12:56 PM | Report abuse

"Ditto to the War of the Worlds(apparently the aliens didn't know that Boston existed) and Waterworld (what on earth were they doing for water, were they drinking waste or something)."

Did you watch either of those movies? In War of the Worlds, Boston is where the army knocks down the first tripod after they realize its shield doesn't work, and they pass another one that's crashed on its own. And in Waterworld, they establish at the very start that yes, the people drink filtered pee.

Posted by: 23112 | January 5, 2007 12:57 PM | Report abuse

That gay eunuch guy and the Revenge of the Nerds guy made flying so uncool in Top Gun that I gave up ever wanting to be a pilot. I feel the need, the need for speed? Even Iceman turned out to be a dweeb in a few years.

Posted by: bkp | January 5, 2007 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Tom Cruise, what about in Mission Impossible Three, when's he's getting over some high security wall and lays on his back on it, looks right at the camera and says "Humpty Dumpty Sat on the Wall". HORRIBLE!!

Posted by: Sharon | January 5, 2007 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Oh, in War of the Worlds, I actually didn't think it was all that terrible. But then, I've seen several versions and read the book by Wells.
As much as I dislike Cruise, it wasn't the worst one by far.
Whoever asked "what killed the aliens?" the answer is "our germs". Kind of like what the European settlers did when they came here with their pox.

Posted by: moviebuff | January 5, 2007 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Funny how Keanu Reeves seems to star in many of the reader's and the list's picks. My favorite Keanu's-"acting"-ruined-this movie is in Much Ado About Nothing, when he announces in his surfer dude accent (which he can't seem to shake, even in Shakespeare) "I am a man of few words." Yes, the director had the right idea - if you must cast him, make him not talk all that much. He makes good eye candy though.

Posted by: vjl | January 5, 2007 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Every facial expression Van Damme makes in slo mo in the final fight sequence of Bloodsport. Most parodied martial arts sequence ever.

Posted by: bkp | January 5, 2007 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Most critics consider 1978's "The Deer Hunter" to be a masterpiece. But when Robert De Niro and his buddies drive out of their Pennsylvania steel town for a weekend hunting trip in the nearby hills and arrive in what is actually the NORTH CASCADE MOUNTAINS in Washington State, it ruined it all for me. As one of my friends, a PA native said, "If Pennsylvania looked like that, I never would've left." To top it off, De Niro draws a bead on a deer, only it isn't a deer, it's an ELK! Lots of elk in Pennsylvania, yessir.

Michael Cimino, the director of this geographical comedy of errors, then bankrupted Paramount Studio with his next epic, "Heaven's Gate."

Posted by: JimG | January 5, 2007 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Not to pick on poor Keanu, but his "I want room service!" rant from Johnny Mnemonic caused my brain cells to try to escape through my ears. Which was dumb, because there's where the sounds were coming from.

I'm not proud to say that I saw the Cindy Crawford/William Baldwin epic "Fair Game", but since I did, I might as well share the experience. At one point, Billy Baldwin tells Cindy, in all seriousness, "You might want to change t-shirts now. This might be the last chance you get." The line come out of nowhere, and you almost get the impression they were looking for a way to get Cindy to take her shirt off. *cough cough*

I'm surprised that Waterworld's dirt-based economy/perpetual money machine hasn't received more votes...

Posted by: karmadrome | January 5, 2007 1:07 PM | Report abuse

How about the Jodie Foster movie "Nell," where at the end Nell--who can't speak English or any other recognizable language--suddenly gives a courtroom soliloquy that is translated in eloquent detail by her lawyer.

Speaking of courtroom scenes that wrecked otherwise good movies, how about in "North Country" where the people sitting in the back of the courtroom all of a sudden speak up in support of the heroine, and the judge accepts the uprising as valid testimony.

Posted by: Northerner | January 5, 2007 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and what was that Tom Hanks movie where he played a character that seemed to be a full-on rip off of KFC's Col. Sanders? That whole movie reeked.

Posted by: Liz | January 5, 2007 1:10 PM | Report abuse

What about Nell, the story of a woman (Jodie Foster no less) who is brought to civilization after spending her life in the wilds? That movie was ridiculous on many levels, including Nell's self-taught language that sounded like a merger of deep south and pig latin (chi-ka-day!), as well as the fact that Nell herself was remarkably attractive (and had excellent dental work) for someone who has spent her life in the wilds. Rent this one for a good laugh!

Posted by: Tom | January 5, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

Elijah Wood outrunning a tidal wave in Deep Impact. I literally laughed out loud in the theater during that whole scene.

Posted by: MDR | January 5, 2007 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Karmadrome hits the nail - hard. Waterworld was terriflyingly bad - and yeah, going from 'look - he has gills' to trading a small jar of dirt for a potted tomato plant (with a LOT more dirt in the pot) was classically idiotic... but the Waterworld moment for me was when the crewmen of the oiltanker dropped oars to row it. I STUDIED motive power imparted by oarage in 3rd century warships... the idea of rowing an oil tanker is well into a kevin smith 'giant mechanical wild wild west spider' moment.

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | January 5, 2007 1:15 PM | Report abuse

How about Sean Connery as the (apparently)Scottish captain of a Russian sub in "Hunt for Red October"? Sam Neill's expression throughout the movie looks like he's thinking, "I learned a Russian accent for THIS?"

Posted by: Paul | January 5, 2007 1:16 PM | Report abuse

I second Deep Impact. I particularly love the scene where they climb a mountain 15 miles from VA Beach (there's a road sign). I'd love to know where that is.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Paul -- Sean Connery's turn in "Highlander" as a Spanish swordsman was also overshadowed by his accent. Come to think of it, the Highlander himself -- Christopher Lambert -- was nae believable as a Scotsman with a thick French accent.

So why do I love that movie so?

Posted by: Liz | January 5, 2007 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Oi! I forgot two of my favourite sci-fi-gone-braindead moments. Did anyone else find the endings of Dune and Total Recall to be a little...unbelievable? Instantaneous terraforming! Rain on Dune! Breathable atmosphere in a matter of minutes on Mars! Sure, why not!

I guess they were more believable than "Path to 9/11", but not much.

Posted by: karmadrome | January 5, 2007 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Karmadrome -- you should check out MSN's list of the 10 dumbest moments in Sci-Fi movies:

http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=163891

Posted by: Liz | January 5, 2007 1:30 PM | Report abuse

Liz-thanks! That was a fun list, but I'll still put instant air on Mars up against any of 'em...except maybe time-travel Superman...any time.

Posted by: Karmadrome | January 5, 2007 1:34 PM | Report abuse

When I saw this topic, the first thing that came to mind was what fishhead posted earlier:

"Four Weddings and a Funeral when Andie MacDowell says "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed." Ugh. Worst line ever delivered."

I could not agree more!

Posted by: peteswea | January 5, 2007 1:34 PM | Report abuse

BTW, my favorite Keanu-related moment was out here in Seattle. Not sure if it's been around the country yet, but a local theatre company did a "Point Break" play where the Keanu character was played by some random Joe they picked up off the street that day. The rest of the play was real actors and real sets performing their lines, while the ordinary dude just read cue cards and was manipulated by "puppeteers" behind him dressed in black.

Truly one of the most original homages to one of the best "worst movies of all time".

Posted by: P Diddy | January 5, 2007 1:36 PM | Report abuse

See Liz..
the assertion at said link - "Did anything in "The Fifth Element" make sense? No. Did it kick ass? Yes." just isnt fair.

Remember the end of Fifth Element? When Leeloo has decided she doesnt want to save the universe because she read about 'War' in the encyclopedia? But changes her mind when Bruce Willis kisses her? Then she destroys the evil black cloud thing with some sort of Screaming Orgasm to top all others?

Oh sure, i'm as big a fan of those as the next guy... but come on ;)

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | January 5, 2007 1:38 PM | Report abuse

I agree with the Andie McDowell votes, and not just in "Four Weddings..." but in pretty much anything she does outside a hair color commercial. I still have nightmares of her imitating the groundhog in "Groundhog Day."

Posted by: IndyAnna | January 5, 2007 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Ok.... the movie "The Village..." Dumb as hell to me...............

Posted by: Toneto2722 | January 5, 2007 1:50 PM | Report abuse

The ending to the Tom Cruise "War of the Worlds" was even more ridiculous to older folks like myself -- the parents who popped out at the end were played by Gene Barry and Ann Robinson, the stars of the ORIGINAL "War of the Worlds" film. I, and three other boomers in the theater, burst out laughing.

Posted by: Old Codger | January 5, 2007 1:54 PM | Report abuse

"who thinks its time for a hilariously fast scramble to the hospital when the first contraction hits is in for a long and boring wait;"

Not true for everyone. Maybe you should go back to the mommy blog.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Tin Cup, last hole, last round. He spins a 3-wood shot backwards off the green??? Sorry, not even Tiger backs up a 3-wood. Just plain dumb.

Posted by: Golfer | January 5, 2007 2:02 PM | Report abuse

I second the childbirth scenes. My husband was also shocked (given the high percentage of sitcoms/movies) that our child was in no danger of being born on the highway to the hospital and that while in labor I didn't scread a litany of insults/profanities at him for getting me pregnant, etc. I was really nicer than usual (bless the epidural!)

Posted by: mfd | January 5, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

the homoerotic scenes with the hobbits in Lord of the Rings, especially at the end of the third.

Posted by: mfd | January 5, 2007 2:08 PM | Report abuse

The biggest problem with this list is that it isn't actually categorizing dumb movie moments. A dumb movie moment implies that if it wasn't for that moment, the movie would otherwise be okay. They are listing dumb movies. Period. Highlander II? Superman III? Come on, there isn't a good moment in those movies - it is all one bad movie moment from beginning to end.

Posted by: Lyria | January 5, 2007 2:12 PM | Report abuse

In "The World Is Not Enough" Bond beds a character named Christmas Jones and at the end he goes "I thought Christmas only came once a year."

I laughed for about an hour at the dumbest joke.

Posted by: Ern | January 5, 2007 2:12 PM | Report abuse

The premise of Body Heat, that all the estate assets of the husband could be collected and transferred in cash in the brief time that William Hurt "survives" Kathleen Turner's supposed death. In other words, if the whole point of the plot is her getting her hands on her husband's assets, how did she get them into a form she could still access if she is supposed to be dead?

Also, 2 recent movies left us without suspension of disbelief: in Inside Man, the premise is that no one notices that a storage room has been made 6 feet smaller in depth?
And in Deja Vu, the whole premise of the time travel and where different people are at different points in the movie, just totally break down. (One of which, is why is the ambulance on top of the burned out river house before Denzel Washington has traveled back to have the confrontation that results in it?

Posted by: Lindy48 | January 5, 2007 2:23 PM | Report abuse

how about Jack Nicholson in the Shining, where he takes an ax to the door and shouts "here's Johnny".... oh, puh-leeze. The whole movie was crap. Oh, and how about Beyonce doing ANYTHING in Dreamgirls? She's NOT an actress.

Posted by: mi | January 5, 2007 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Thanks mi for pointing out the fact that Beyonce isn't an actress. I wish someone would tell her that. I want to add to the list Mos Def in the Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy. That whole movie was dumb!

Posted by: snoootty | January 5, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

-Devil Wears Prada: to show her liberation from the horrible work world, the heroine throws her ringing cell phone into a fountain. Duh, girl, it has an off button. Of course, she quickly gets heer dream job, at a newspaper with a social conscience where the editor looks at her college work and says that is just what they are looking for (anyone get a job like that?), largely due to her non-newspaper job working as an assistant to a fashion editor (mainly going gopher work).

-Titanic. Most of the dialogue. The poor-people-sing-and-dance-and-are-happier-than-rich-folks theme is condescending (the people who thought it up are very, very rich).

-Casino Royale. Instead of having an ending with some real edge, they had to go overboard to show that Bond´s love interest was really a great, loving, sacrificing woman and let herself die since she had hurt him.

Posted by: Steve | January 5, 2007 2:39 PM | Report abuse

I second the dumbness of Total Recall -- though the hilarious makeup effects for Ahhhnold and Rachel Ticotin (with the bulging eyes and all) made the implausible ending worth it.

There have been a couple of movies (first Mission Impossible and one of the recent Bond movies -- I think it was the one with Michelle Yeoh) that had totally ridiculous helicopter scenes -- that's a pet peeve of mine.

But the Aliens in "Life of Brian" -- that came completely out of nowhere and was the funniest part of the movie for me!

Posted by: J-Bo | January 5, 2007 2:49 PM | Report abuse

Ok. Some I have a problem with, some are fine.
1. Highlander II should have been #1.
2. What "orgasm in the restaurant scene" from The Matrix? Did I miss something?
3. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" should have been #2.
4. Huge movie pet peeve - Why does everyone have a problem with Connery's accent in Red October. Five minutes in to the movie, the camera pans in to his mouth as he's speaking Russian, then pans out as everyone is speaking English. Anyone with 1/2 a brain can see that this means the dialog is being translated for us so the audience doesn't have to sit through 2 hours of subtitles! He's not a Russian guy speaking with a Scottish accent! He's speaking Russian! Besides, even if he *was* speaking English, where would a Russian go to learn English? Brooklyn? Savannah? Nah. More likely somewhere closer. Gee, where are there English-speaking people somewhere near Russia. Europe, perhaps?
5. How about that stupid singing scene in My Best Friend's Wedding? Ugh!

Posted by: fft5305 | January 5, 2007 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist in that Bond movie.

Posted by: fft5305 | January 5, 2007 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Dustin Hoffman's "showdown" with Gene Hackman in Runaway Jury. Hackman trying to keep a straight face while Hoffman rants on playing a New Orleans lawyer as a combination of Tootsie and Rainman.

Posted by: jimflieg | January 5, 2007 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Nothing from Twister??? Come on, Twister had so many idiot moments there should be at least one, if not ten, on this list.

Posted by: indiana jones | January 5, 2007 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Anytime Scarlett Johansson opens her mouth in "Scoop." Has anyone noticed she's best when she doesn't talk? (Think Ghostworld, think Lost in Translation.)

Posted by: Helly | January 5, 2007 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Snakes. On. A. Plane.

Posted by: CMoney | January 5, 2007 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Ah yes - Scarlett Johansson in "Scoop." The moment that ruined that movie for me was when she snorted after saying she couldn't wear contacts because she didn't like touching her eyeball. The eyeball comment was kinda funny (at least in the context, and the way she said it), but the snort just took it too far.

Posted by: R | January 5, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

I'm down with all the "Waterworld" hate, but nobody has mentioned the dumbest part: the "sight-seeing" trip of underwater New York. Since a cataclysmic world-engulfing event would have to involve water covering the planet to a depth of at least 20,000ft (so that only a few, remote mountain-tops would remain to become "islands"), that would mean that Manhattan (altitude approx. 0 ft above sea level) would now lie about 20,000ft under the sea. Notwithstanding the crushing pressure at that depth, which would make "sight-seeing" in an impromptu diving bell impossible, it would also be completely pitch black. Painfully dumb.

Posted by: VoR | January 5, 2007 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Does anyone remember that great Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire" and that fantastic line delivered by Renee Zellweger: "You had me at 'hello'"? That was awful. Truly atrocious. Of course, to be fair, their whole romance was too contrived and Tom Cruise was stuck in one facial expression for much of the movie.

Posted by: Ryan | January 5, 2007 3:19 PM | Report abuse

The "Romeo & Juliet" with Leo DiCaprio & Clare Danes. I think I liked this movie back in the day (those teen years), but watching it recently...yikes. When she says, all sopping wet after getting out of the pool, "What satisfaction cans't though have tonight?" BARF

Posted by: melly | January 5, 2007 3:21 PM | Report abuse

The gay scene at the end of LOTR. I'm sorry, taht was just wrong. The movie had arleady ended like 3 times and then they show that!

Jar Jar Binks moments and the explanation of the Force. Definitely the bottom of the pit of bad moments... Darth Vader-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Karate Kid with the spinning drum things. Great movie... I always hated that part for some reason.

The GI Jane quote of suck my...

War of the Worlds moment when Tom Cruise doesn't die at the end.

I'm with someone else earlier who thought Top Gun was cool when they were a kid but now think it is well...bad.

The motorcycle fight scene in MI2? Where Tom Cruise character does not die.

Jerry McGuire- If I ever hear show me the money again I will gag

White Girls- BF- of course that whole movie was meant to poke at how stupid people are... I hope.

The Superman Returns stalker moment.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- The whole movie.

The Avengers- the parts with the bad dialogue with Sean Connery -he has certainly fallen- and the bears...ok, the whole movie sucked.

Mystery Men- The whole movie, invisible moment, spleen moments, the spoon throwing... ok yeah, the whole movie.

Van Helsing- gatling crossbow and other out of place gadgetry that supplants the need for a storyline- also Wild Wild West for the same reasons.

Ronin- the whole dumb movie of chasing the stupid case.

Any movie where a guy gets kicked in the nuts as part of a comedy routine. It is old and dumb.

Posted by: Chris | January 5, 2007 3:22 PM | Report abuse

In no particular order:

1. Similar to JKR's critique of montage labor and birth: I can't stand it when someone is suffocated with a pillow or forcibly drowned, and they die in like 20 seconds. Granted I have no experience either as killer or victim, but doesn't it take several minutes without oxygen to pass out and die??

2. In Superman IV, when Superman addresses the UN General Assembly to announce his plans for nuclear disarmament.

3. The entire 45-minute sequence in the middle of Titanic where Leo is handcuffed to a pipe on a lower deck of the ship, and it's starting to sink, and he and Kate go through this ridiculous action sequence to escape.... Except we've all seen the previews, we KNOW they end up on top of the boat when it's sinking, so there is NO SUSPENSE, just BOREDOM. 45 unnecessary minutes in the middle of a 210 minute movie! Stupid.

4. The scene in Forrest Gump where young Forrest makes grunting sex noises at the school official who just took advantage of his mother in exchange for allowing Forrest to enroll in the regular school. It's a disgusting scene, and it is played for laughs.

5. The rest of Forrest Gump.

Posted by: halleck23 | January 5, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

No one's yet mentioned the scene in "Magnolia" where all the different characters sing along to that Aimee Mann song -- that was pretty dang corny.

Posted by: J-Bo | January 5, 2007 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Just a geeky rebuttal to the Jaws 2 bit... sharks (including great whites) can sense bioelectric fields, which is great in the middle of the ocean where there may not be a lot of light and the only electric fields would be put out by something edible... but boats (and helicoptors) put out pretty big electric fields. This is coupled with the fact that right before an attack, a great white rolls it's eyes back into its head to protect them. The net result is at the last second of attack the shark is effectively blind and the instinct of the great white is to attack the strongest electrical field in its path... which can sometimes turn out to be something other than its prey if there's a motor going on nearby. This has contributed to the image of great whites as being vicious because it looks like they don't just attack people but they attack boats as well... problem is they don't realize it's a boat... instinct has yet to compensate for the encroachment of humans into their environment. Going after a helicoptor may be an exaggeration, but not as much of one as the list would make it out to be.

Posted by: bendejo | January 5, 2007 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Probably not a lot of people have seen it but in Street Fighter, Sagat says to Guile (Jean Claude Van Damme) "I own this town" and then Guile answers with "Well, I'm the repo man, and you're out of business!"

What business is Sagat running exactly? Gets me every time!

Posted by: Col. Guile | January 5, 2007 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Another good one in Batman (the first one) is when Joker shoots down the Batwing with a giant handgun. Seems unlikely that would take out the mighty Batman.

The rest of the movie is pretty good though.

Posted by: edt | January 5, 2007 3:42 PM | Report abuse

"Jaws: The Revenge" has to take the cake for dumbest movie ever. Mrs. Sheriff Brody fresh from losing her son to a Great White Shark attack, decides to go on vacation (!!!) to the Bahamas to visit her other, non-shark-eaten son. Suffice it to say, the revenge-driven shark has anticipated her plan, and is waiting for her, thereby proving that not only are Great White Sharks prescient, but they also can travel faster than airplanes. She then proceeds to do battle with the shark in a variety of contrived scenes. Geez -- you would think that if a shark was chasing you, bent on revenge, all you would have to do would be to stay on dry land. Seems to me that that would be a pretty effective deterrent.


Posted by: K | January 5, 2007 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Along the lines of the labor & delivery comment -- Movies always grind to a halt for me as soon as we enter a restaurant. I refuse to believe nobody in the movie business has ever worked in a restaurant, and yet, whenever there's a snotty waiter or a catering cart crash or a flaming sauce pan, I snicker.
If somebody actually chased someone through any restaurant I've ever worked in, they'd bump into 5 waiters smoking in the dish room and then slip and fall in the huge grease slick by the fryer -- if they didn't fall into the pile of empty veg boxes by the back door.

Posted by: Some other Liz chick | January 5, 2007 3:45 PM | Report abuse

What about the Fugitive, When Harrison Ford jumps off the dam. Not only does he live, but he doesn't get hurt.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 3:50 PM | Report abuse

And what about Independence Day? The whole scene with Vivica Fox and the kid trapped in the tunnel, and using a samll room to hide from the fireball -- because fire only travels in a straight line, it never, ever expands to fill the entire volume of an enclosed space. She should have been stripper toast.

Posted by: K2 | January 5, 2007 3:53 PM | Report abuse

Patrick Swayze, from "Roadhouse": "Pain don't hurt."
This is close runner-up (by a different character from the same movie) and could be the best/worst last line ever: "A polar bear fell on me."

Posted by: jenny | January 5, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Where's Die Hard 2? The whole thing was so ludicrous. Here's a sampling:

1. Dulles looks suspiciously like someplace smaller, like Idaho Falls or something.

2. All of those vital communications cables somehow run under ground OUTSIDE the airport's limits? And under a church? How'd the get them under there?

And far more importantly...

3. Flights to Dulles for some reason can't be rerouted to other airports. At one point, somebody tells incoming planes to "hold at the outer marker," which "just bought ourselves maybe two hours. After that, those planes with low fuel ain't gonne be circling, they're gonna be dropping on the White House lawn." Hmmm. How many long runways are there within two hours of Dulles?

Posted by: rd | January 5, 2007 3:58 PM | Report abuse

I agree that a moment should not include the entire film and should be so out of place as to cause a "WTF" to flash through the viewer's mind, but I was under a torrent of WTFs while watching the ludicrous half-baked Lucas fare served up as prequels. Unexplained science I can deal with but obviously ridiculous science makes me want to scream. Examples: Anakin Skywalker's racer stalls at the race start and yet he manages to catch the pack and contend for the lead. Heck, if he can catch 'em, he should be able to pass 'em! General Grievous - a robot with a heart, lungs, and eyeballs, exposed no less. The huge shipmounted artillery piece that was actually EJECTING spent cartridges as if it was a giant .22. The whole idea of the Gungan/'droid battle in which the Gungan's only effective weapons were slingshots and for some reason the 'droids were too stupid to revert to the Brit Victorian army model of standing still and blasting away with volley fire. The only good thing to come out of the trio was Obi-wan's sublime "Wait a minute. How did this happen? We're smarter than this." At least we'd like to think so.

Posted by: grognard | January 5, 2007 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Just as an aside - it is no coincidence that the majority of movies on that 49er list are either sci-fi, horror, or super-hero movies. Being totally unbelievable and dumb is part of the genre, so in a way declaring their scenes dumb is simply stating the obvious.

Posted by: cpwdc | January 5, 2007 4:04 PM | Report abuse

Where's Die Hard 2? The whole thing was so ludicrous. Just a few off the top of my head:

1. Dulles looks suspiciously like LAX.

2. All of those vital communications cables somehow run underground OUTSIDE the airport's limits? And under a church? How'd they get them under there?

3. Bruce Willis kills a bad guy with an icicle.

And far more importantly...

4. Flights to Dulles for some reason can't be rerouted to other airports. At one point, I think Fred Thompson tells incoming planes to "hold at the outer marker," which "just bought ourselves maybe two hours. After that, those planes with low fuel ain't gonne be circling, they're gonna be dropping on the White House lawn." Hmmm. How many long runways are there within two hours of Dulles?

Posted by: rd | January 5, 2007 4:05 PM | Report abuse

I've got two off hand: King Kong remake. How many insects can they possibly make lifesize with a thrist for humans? And the scene where the giant grasshoppers (?) are attacking and the young guy who has never handled a rifle shoots them all off without hitting his human buddy?!?! I believed the big ape more than that!

And Red Eye. When the main character runs her car into (literally) her fathers house while running over the bad guy. The father comes around the corner and never once seems like he should question what is going on.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:06 PM | Report abuse

Along the lines of the labor & delivery comment

Some people do have short labors.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:08 PM | Report abuse

If you don't like die hard you are anti-american. Please are you a sissy?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:10 PM | Report abuse

I read The Shining before I saw the Kubrick movie, so the whole "all work and no play make jack a dull boy" revelation was not that frightening to me.

Also - I always enjoyed the LOTR books and was impressed by the movies, but I'm not a crazy, uber-fan. That disclaimer being said, Viggo Mortensen's/Aragorn's speech in front of the Black Gate near the end of the third movie never rang true for me. Bernard Hill's/Theoden's rallying cry during the siege of Gondor was so much more a part of the movie.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | January 5, 2007 4:10 PM | Report abuse

The last Star Wars movie where Obi Wan Kenobi (sp?)tells Skywalker he has to lose because OWK has the "high ground". After all those flips and using the force and all that hooey, being a foot or two higher on the ground makes a difference? Puhleez!

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:10 PM | Report abuse

If you don't like die hard you are anti-american. Please are you a sissy?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:11 PM | Report abuse

What about Tom Cruise in "Cocktail", dancing around while serving drinks as a bartender at a TGI Friday's with a bunch of women at the bar gawking at him. He's a bartender at TGI Friday's in Manhattan and hot women are gonna pack it in to watch him twist a cap off a bottled beer while spinning???

Posted by: Michael N. | January 5, 2007 4:17 PM | Report abuse

To me, many of the stupid monents I've seen listed aren't necessarily "stupid."

A lot of them would only seem stupid primarily from the viewpoint of reality (true reality, not Reality Show reality).

Since movies are NOT usually meant necessarly to reflect reality, but rather to tell a story and entertain, I'm fine with lots of these stupid moments (yes, even the propsterous skydiving scene from Point Break. So what if it's virtually impossible and would be a monumnetally stupid thig to try in real life? Still a pretty durn cool thing to do, at least in the movies.)

That being said, and conceding that this discussion is almost entirely subjective in nature from the get-go, allow me to subject you to a couple of moments that I personally find stupid:

1. The ending sequence of "Pay It Forward."

I enjoyed the movie for the most part, but then in the last five minutes, after the movie is essentially over...(SPOILER WARNING) the kid gets killed, out of the blue? By a character we saw only briefly at the beginning and had naught to do with the plot otherwise?

This totally superfluous ending has the strong flavor of being tacked for two reasons: One, as an attempt at a contrived tear-jerking moment; and two, to avoid accusations that the movie (had it been without the frivolous death) succumbed to a "Hollywood (happy) Ending."

However, a "Hollywood ending" is not just a happy ending; it's really a happy ending awkwardly forced on a story that logically would not have one.

But in the case of Pay It Forward, it is reasonable and logially meet to believe the story would actually have a pleasant ending.

So, in that regard, the death ending is in fact a "Hollywood Ending" itself, just in relief. It's a totally unnecessary, contrived and awkward sad or poignant ending forced on a story that logically wouldn't have one. (This same idea applies to the ending of the Costner flick, Message In A Bottle.)
Pretty stupid.

2. Dirty Dancing.

I do not mind the fact that "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." That's not stupid, it's cheese, or cornball, or cheesy cornball if you like, but to me that's a different thing than stupid.

Stupid is when the father berates Johnny (who came to thank the father for saving the partner), making it obvious that he believes Johnny to be the father of the parter's child--and Johnny, instead of setting the record stright right then and there, says "yeah, you would believe that," and walks off.

Stupid! This is a version of what Roger Ebert calls "The Idiot Plot" because it reuires that some character not utter the two or three simple words that would set everything straight, in which case the movie would be over.

"It wasn't me, it was Robbie the snooty waiter" comes to mind, as something Johnny might have said to the father, instead of stalking off and allowing the misconception to continue for the sake of the movie he apparently knows he's in.

So, there are two of my stupid movie moments. This is a fascinating subject, actually, and I think I'm going to write more about it at lazypedia.com.


Posted by: Will Seabrook | January 5, 2007 4:20 PM | Report abuse

For the geeks, remember Jurassic Park: "It's a Unix system!"

Posted by: Tomcat | January 5, 2007 4:22 PM | Report abuse

The chick flick standard scene that includes white people drunk and dancing badly to classic R&B, Gospel or Soul music.

By contrast, the dance scenes in Steel Magnolyahs, Coluh Purple, Joy Luck Club, Beaches, Fried Green Tomatahs and Like Water for Chocolate all work.

Posted by: Cooky | January 5, 2007 4:27 PM | Report abuse

another climax ender was in Spiderman when Spidey is trying to rescue the kids from the train cart. I know I am going to mess this line up but basically the New Yorkers on the bridge start throwing junk at the bad guy and one makes the comment, you mess with one of us you mess with all of us. Cheesey

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:31 PM | Report abuse

Two no ones mentioned. First, just about every stunt in Charlie's Angels Unthrottled defined every physical law. Especially after Demi Moore flies off the exploding roof into the car and the Angels follow swinging on strings of Xmas lights. Second, the end of one of the Rambo movies where Stallone gives the tearful, impassioned speech. Totally out of character and awful.

Posted by: tft | January 5, 2007 4:33 PM | Report abuse

"But she is 56 years old! And you can see that. Sickos!"

Still looks hot to me.

And not much understanding of the Matrix films.

Posted by: Gary Masters | January 5, 2007 4:33 PM | Report abuse

No one has mentioned U.S. Marshals? Convict Wesley Snipes escapes WHEN A PLANE CRASHES, and he simply runs away from the crash. But later, when he plans to escape from Tommy Lee Jones by ocean freighter, he naturally stops at a drugstore to buy seasickness medication...and naturally LEAVES the empty medication package behind in his car, and TLJ naturally finds the empty package and takes it to a grocery store, where he rips open every medication in sight before finally matching up the discarded capsule-holder to a seasickness med. Then, naturally, TLJ knows that Snipes is escaping on an ocean freighter. Naturally.

Posted by: hate wesley snipes | January 5, 2007 4:33 PM | Report abuse

That list is terrible and goes to show that most blogs are useless drivel. People have too much time on their hands.

I'd like to point out the moment in "Executive Decision" when he (I believe its Seagal) goes "No, but you will".

Posted by: Yossarian | January 5, 2007 4:34 PM | Report abuse

"Forces of Nature" when they pull up to the airport terminal in NEW YORK and it's the front of DULLES Airport. They should have picked the generic inside of any terminal, since Dulles is one of the most recognized airports in the world. I can usually overlook or buy into geographical errors, but that one ruined it for me.

Posted by: sdk | January 5, 2007 4:34 PM | Report abuse

The linked list is great because of the writing...example:

"There are so many things in this movie that will make wonder. Kyle MacLachlan as Hugh Hefner wannabe or Elizabeth Berkley in her too bimbo performance. Paul Verhoeven's fooling around in Vegas, gets special touch when screenplay writer, Joe Eszterhas, realizes that movie has too much sex and no chimpanzees. And then... On a command - monkeys, comes a horde of chimpanzees. Who wanted to see this? Obviously Paul Verhoeven. Everyone, let's pray for him."

Posted by: snowwrestler | January 5, 2007 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Not enough old movies here. You'd think from examining these comments that movies were uniformly intelligent before, say, the 1970s. But there are plenty of genuinely stupid moments in older films, and not just in the obvious Poverty Row clinkers either.

I'll start by nominating "Gone with the Wind," with Prissy's infamous line about birthin' babies.

Posted by: Timothy Hulsey | January 5, 2007 4:37 PM | Report abuse

KR is bad in Much Ado About Nothing, but I get past that, just. What gets me about that movie is what appears to be poor editing towards the end - one scene appears to have been put in the wrong place.

The count (Dr Wilson) and the Prince find out they wrongly accused Hero of being a tart and killed her by doing so, next scene they do their pennance trip up to the grave. Next Bertrice and Bennadict are talking about how much they love each other and that the count has yet to answer Bennadict's challenge because he's been a bad count and doesn't know the error of his ways. Next scene wedding (Mark II) and Benadict is forgiving Dr Wilson without anything else changing. Should the Bertrice and Bennadict scene be before the count and the prince finding out they were misled about Hero's tartiness...?

The sadest thing about the whole movie is KR, who was probably the most famous person in it when it was made, being blown off the screen by actors most people have never heard of.

Another good example of this is Dragnet. Where Dan Akroyd (who co-wrote it) get's blown away by some guy call Hanks who at that point nobody really knew - maybe you liked him in Splash...

now there's a dumb movie

Posted by: snowyCO | January 5, 2007 4:41 PM | Report abuse

How about Arnold pulling the basketball-sized tracking device out of his nose in Total Recall?

Posted by: KM | January 5, 2007 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Oooh, fun. My votes are for "Is it raining, I hadn't noticed," "You had me at hello," and all of Independence Day.

Posted by: Hoosier | January 5, 2007 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Someone already brought up the movie, but how about at the end of Planet of the Apes remake, where Marky Mark is looking up at Ape-raham Lincoln? Hilarious! You could hear everyone in the theater give a collective, "Buh?"

Posted by: edt | January 5, 2007 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone see "Summer of Sam?" Pretty mediocre movie in general, but I laughed out loud when they were trying to show Sam Berkowtiz's hallucination of the dog giving him the order to kill -- this doberman is in Sam's bedroom, and they do a close-up of its face. The dog's lips actually move and a voice-over says, "I want you to kill! Kill! Kill!"

Totally worth the rental fee!

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:45 PM | Report abuse

see - it's about the hubris... we get a film that takes itself seriously (or an author that does so) and the next thing you know you have 'Amee Say Movie Bad Like Global Warming Scientist'

But for this - its the 'ZOMG' moment - not the whole film - regardless of the impressive Hubris involved (see Gamera for a good example)

I think the 'bend and snap' silliness is a great example of a terrible point in an otherwise better film.

The beat poetry dance scene in Funny Face... eeeeg.

But yeah, it's usually the over the top films that try so hard to take themselves seriously where I get my best spluttering moments...

The 'We are DEAD - We are ROBOT JOX' from Robot Jox...

or the classic Steve Martin quote in Godzilla 1984... "Nature has a way sometimes of reminding Man of just how small he is. She occasionally throws up terrible offspring's of our pride and carelessness to remind us of how puny we really are in the face of a tornado, an earthquake, or a Godzilla. The reckless ambitions of Man are often dwarfed by their dangerous consequences. For now, Godzilla - that strangely innocent and tragic monster - has gone to earth. Whether he returns or not, or is never again seen by human eyes, the things he has taught us remain..."

oh sure - there are plenty of garbage moments in the rest of cinema - but these gems just shine...

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 4:51 PM | Report abuse

Any movie where we're supposed to believe Tom Cruise is a manly heterosexual.

Posted by: NYC | January 5, 2007 4:57 PM | Report abuse

As much as I like disaster flicks and great volcano effects, I'd have to add the scene in DANTE'S PEAK, where they drive the truck through the lava on the road AND save the dog as even stupider than pooling the lava on Wiltshire Boulevard to dam it by dropping water by helicopter in VOLCANO. Though, it's great advertisement for Firestone and suspension of physics for the helicopters (can any say thermal updrafts?)

Posted by: FrauRabbit | January 5, 2007 4:58 PM | Report abuse

First, the role that Tom Cruise played in Top Gun was based primarily on former Member of Congress Randy "Duke" Cunningham. Second, the scene in which Cruise sings "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" is said to have been based on an actual event. Supposedly one of the people who acknowledges it happened is Mrs. Cunningham, and she's reportedly tired of hearing people in the know mentioning it.

Posted by: Dungarees | January 5, 2007 4:59 PM | Report abuse

K: You forgot the land shark. The only place the mother in Jaws is safe is in the air.

Posted by: caroldc | January 5, 2007 5:07 PM | Report abuse

The WORST moment was in Groundhog Day, at the very end, when Bill Murray turns to the afor-mentionned terrible Andy McDowell and says, "It's so beautiful! Let's live here!" TERRIBLE ending to such a good movie.

Posted by: ytsej | January 5, 2007 5:09 PM | Report abuse

I think a string of dumb moments in film can be found in Blairwitch. Why didn't they drop the camera? At one point the lead turns the camera on herself and cries, drop the darn thing and run.

No, wait that's how we find out what happens. Regardless it's dumb.

Posted by: petal | January 5, 2007 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Fortunately, I haven't seen most of the movies on the list, but the ones I have seen pale in comparison to my personal list of the three worst movies of all time:

Hollow Man
She Hate Me
Bloodrayne

The latter two were rentals, but I had the misfortune of paying full theater prices to see "Hollowman". I actually went and hung out in the lobby for a while in the middle of it. That whole movie was just stupid. The other two weren't much better.

Posted by: Courtney | January 5, 2007 5:15 PM | Report abuse

I forgot about the one with Nicholas Cage and the Declaration of Independence..."National Treasure". That movie is chock full of stupid moments.

Posted by: Courtney | January 5, 2007 5:17 PM | Report abuse

The end of the original release of Blade Runner has a cop out ending that made me groan out loud. That's not polite in a public theater, but I could not help myself. The huddled masses of Los Angeles were being exhorted to leave the pollution-racked city for "off-world" colonies. All the while, northern California was pristine and bucolic. Who knew? Not the audience. A deux ex machina, by means of spare footage from The Shining, granted the good guys (or good replicants), a new lease on life, albeit month-to-month.

We discovered later that the absurd ending was only part of the violence done to the movie by moguls who didn't understand what it was about. They added voice-overs by Harrison Ford to make his character more sympathetic. He was not exactly intended to be a Good Guy.

Most movies do not get a second chance. The director's cut of Blade Runner set things straight.

Posted by: Jive Dadson | January 5, 2007 5:22 PM | Report abuse

How about Airport 79.....when the Concorde is being chased by a jet fighter....flying at supersonic speed when pilot George Kennedy opens up a small side window in the cockpit, sticks his head and arm out the window and shoots a flare gun (to divert the heat seeking missile closing in). It was supposed to be high drama but I found it hilarious....sticking your head out the window of a plane flying at supersonic speed (of course there was no decompression problem in the cockpit when he did this.)

Posted by: JMC | January 5, 2007 5:27 PM | Report abuse

I just watched the original MASH movie on TVLand. It's one of those loved as a kid/realize it's awful as an adult. Exposing Hot Lips in the shower made me want to cry, not laugh. And that ENDLESS football game at the end was painful. However, I do prefer "Suicide is Painless" with the lyrics.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Agreed on the labor/birth observations. Even though labor can be quick (my husband was born in an elevator), the representation of even fast labors on TV is ridiculous. High speed, frantic car rides to the hospital are just ridiculous. The screaming, the panic, the insulting to all men everywhere idiot husband. I walked to our local ice cream shop and got a milk shake in my early stages of labor. Labor/birth as comedy is right up there with men kneed in the nuts as comedy, or characters being drunk as comedy.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 5:32 PM | Report abuse

For me it's the scene in Braveheart where the Scots have their first major battle against the British forces. It is called the Battle of Sterling Bridge. Well . . . Where's the Bridge?!!

Yikes!

Posted by: Thom | January 5, 2007 5:32 PM | Report abuse

I am surprised no one has mentioned the moment in Stone's "The Doors" when Ray Manzarak (Kyle what's his name) makes up the whole intro to "Light My Fire" in about 5 minutes, saying something like "can you guys go take a walk for a few minutes while I try something out here?" We all cracked up when we saw that, years ago. Then again, a lot of things about that film were dreadful, esp, if you'd actually been to a concert in the 60's, where no one danced naked as if it was a Dionysian ritual. Lots of drugs, no naked dancing that I remember

Posted by: maria D | January 5, 2007 5:33 PM | Report abuse

I laughed heartily at Keanu Reeves outrunning a nuclear blast on a 250cc Honda in Chain Reaction.

Posted by: ce | January 5, 2007 5:38 PM | Report abuse

1) The end of MI:3 when his wife asks what IMF stands for. "Impossible Mission Force."

2) Any movie where someone is standing beside or surrounded by lava and their clothes don't ignite. Video game physics.

3) Signs. Pretty much any scene/line was amazingly bad.

Posted by: booyah | January 5, 2007 5:38 PM | Report abuse

You guys who didn't get Waterworld are missing the big picture. It's a subtle spoof, and to properly appreciate it you need a good background in westerns and post-apocalyptic science fiction, not to mention the whole Exxon Valdez thing.

The mariner was a stock mutant/drifter, a tough guy, but he moseyed into town in ski boots and was in possession of a thighmaster. The bad guy was also stock, but with a little Boss Hogg in him. These guys all have baggage you have to understand quickly or you can't follow the story properly. Then you miss great technical details like the obvious solar water distiller and end up wondering what they drank.

In other characters/plot devices, we had the standard helpless/annoying types the drifter looks after, a treasure map, and a mad scientist. With all that, plus the rowing the Exxon Valdez and a visit to the lost-city source of the thighmaster, how could this movie have not been a spoof?

So laugh at the bus jumping scene in Speed all you like ('cause that's funny), but fussing about Waterworld is a symptom of education-related humor impairment.

Posted by: Miss Molly | January 5, 2007 5:40 PM | Report abuse

Airport '79 -- The pilot shoots a flare gun out the window (the cockpit windows open in a Concorde?) while it's in flight...

Posted by: LarryW1010 | January 5, 2007 5:46 PM | Report abuse

All of these examples are unquestionably better than the original terrible list of 49. Well done, readers.

Posted by: Dave | January 5, 2007 5:55 PM | Report abuse

first of all, i also disagree with the "baby" part from dirty dancing. it's classic. secondly, movies are meant to be entertainment. granted, some movies are outright stupid - or maybe most, but you have to SUSPEND DISBELIEF for most, if not all of them. I think the only dumb moment i truly agree with on that list is the Beach. I had to pinch myself when i saw that part - so weird.
As for the comment about the length of time portrayed in giving birth in movies: sorry, but I'm pretty sure no one wants to watch birth in real time in a movie, so of course, it seems sped up. Your husband really thought that everyone who said it took 4-36 hrs to give birth was lying?!? Now that's what I call dumb.

Dumbest movie moment: I agree with the geek comment about Jurassic Park. And I love OFfice Space, but the same can be said about that: Mac screen - not a Mac computer.

Posted by: Raquel | January 5, 2007 5:56 PM | Report abuse

oh oh! And definitely ever hugely exaggerated staring contest between Naomi Watts and King Kong in... King Kong. Ok, we get it, she "understands" and "loves" him. You didn't have to make the movie 3 hrs for that!

Posted by: Raquel | January 5, 2007 5:58 PM | Report abuse

Three big moments in Mission to Mars, a drama that provoked gales of uproarious laughter from the audience when I saw it:

1) Tim Robbins is floating away from the spaceship and about to burn up in Mars' atmosphere. His wife, Connie Nielsen, tries to fly out on her jet pack to save him. She then notices the pack is running out of fuel. It indicates this with a screen readout that says "point of no return." One wonders if the screen would have said that if she were simply floating outside the spaceship. Everyone laughs when Tim's face mask cracks & he goes poof.

2) Don Cheadle's character is discovered as the last survivor of the colony Connie, Tim, and Gary Sinise are sent to save. He has crazy hair and is disheveled. When recounting the events that lead to this, he says, in his best James T. Kirk impression "They all died, but I lived. Why? Why? Why?" Everyone laughs again.

3) When the crew eventually discovers what is in the Mysterious Big Metal Thing on Mars, they find a tall, willowy alien. The alien then shows them Al Gore's slideshow to explain that Mars was all nice and blue & full of water love. Alas, the willowy alien race did not appreciate what they had and global warming turns Mars into the red dustbowl it is today. As the alien finishes the slideshow, s/he turns and we see one, single tear sliding down his cheek. Just like the Indian in that 70's commercial about pollution.

I can't believe they missed this one. A cast of good actors impaled themselves on this stinker.

Posted by: klange | January 5, 2007 5:59 PM | Report abuse

and Joe Vs. the Volcano - can't even remember it, but the title speaks volumes.

AND Code Name: the cleaner. Of course, I haven't seen it and never plan to, but the name and the stupid line "I'm black Rambo. Ok... Blambo." That's pretty dumb. Some writer thought he was really clever for coming up with that line. Sad. I always wonder what happens to these movies. I have to believe that they all tank at the box office. Who goes to see this crap?!?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 6:05 PM | Report abuse

characters being drunk IS comedy. check your sense of humor.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 6:07 PM | Report abuse

I know "The World Is Not Enough" was on their list already, but is this the one with the invisible car? If so, this is the dumbest thing ever. Forget the stupid technology, but Bond drives the dang thing through the snow. Does it have invisable tire marks as well? Is ot lighter than air so it makes no imprssion? Also he parks it right in front of the gate to the enemy camp. Someone is going to walk right into that stupid car.

Posted by: E Fate | January 5, 2007 6:08 PM | Report abuse

What about the entire premise of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure? The government of the future sends back Rufus to make sure that something that has already happened goes smoothly. After that, Rufus should travel back to the American Revolution and make sure that Washington wins!

And what about Flight Plan? The entire plan hinges on the improbable fact that no one on the plane would have seen Jodie Foster's daughter get on. Right.... Then, she has to "escape" and open up her dead husband's casket and leave it open for the brilliant mastermind to get to the smuggled bomb. Uh-huh.

And another thing about Die Hard 2: in one scene, McClane shoots at Dulles security guard Dennis Franz with a machine gun, just to prove that there are blanks in the gun. The other cops and armed guards stare at McClane while he shoots at Franz, and don't draw their weapons and take him out. Plus, why would you plan a Christmastime armed assault on Dulles Airport months in advance and make snowmobiles a key part of your escape plan? When was the last time it snowed at Dulles on Christmas?

Posted by: dmorgan | January 5, 2007 6:13 PM | Report abuse

Nicholson in "Cuckoo's Nest" - he's pretty crazy! Meryl Streep? God, she sucks.

Posted by: Jack | January 5, 2007 6:18 PM | Report abuse

If we're mining Star Wars, it would have to be Darth Vader's "NOOOOOOOOOO" from the last one, er, the third one.

The 1976 King Kong remake, when we learn it's not a typo, her name is really Dwan.

That weird strobe light mind-melding device in Exorcist II, man that would help with a lot of people's therapy.

When the interepid freedom fighters of Battlefield Earth head to the Library of Congress

And the best line ever spoken by a 50-year-old ninja, "He have ... great ... skill," from American Ninja.

Posted by: pol | January 5, 2007 6:19 PM | Report abuse

The worst moment I have seen is the end of Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. The scene where they give Darth Vader the suit looks exactly like the monster coming to life scene in Young Frankenstein. I laughed out loud in the theater and nearly had my head ripped off by the rest of the audience. What a cheesy, terrible rip off.

Posted by: that guy | January 5, 2007 6:36 PM | Report abuse

The original list-makers got it completely backwards with at least two of the moments they name -- all of Billy Zane's shots missing Leo in "Titanic" and the Three (Four?) Musketeers surviving a fusilade. In fact, these moments are far more true to life than what most movies show.

In real life, pistols are not terribly accurate beyond a very short range, and would be even less so in the hands of a non-expert who is running while shooting at a moving target. The fact that every shot Billy Zane fires at Leo misses is what would actually happen -- it's all those hundreds of other movies that have it wrong.

Same goes for the musketeers -- the firearms of those days were horrifically inaccurate and random. That's why armies fought with their soldiers lined up shoulder-to-shoulder for hundreds of years (right up to the 20th Century). Massing all those guns close together was the only way they could be sure of hitting at least someone on the other side, even at close range.

Posted by: Doc | January 5, 2007 7:06 PM | Report abuse

I think some of the commenters are confusing "stupid movies" with "dumb movie moments"...

Although it happened pretty much throughout the movie, I thought the dumbest moment in War of the Worlds was when the people trapped inside the huge alien robot thing all seem to be more than willing to sacrifice themselves so Tom Cruise can live. Everyone would be concerned about themselves and not ready to become Tom Cruise's (a total stranger) martyr.

As much as I love the movie, the battle scene at the club in Breakin' where they bust out Lucinda Dickey ("Special K") and win the breakdance battle is dumb because Lucinda Dickey is way too jazzy. Her moves would not be considered breakdancing nor winning moves in a battle.

We've been watching V: The Complete Series on DVD recently and it just reminds me of general dumb moments in sci-fi movies:
- When aliens (in the case of V - lizard people) are aboard their mothership why do they usually wear their human "disguises" around each other?
- Why do aliens all speak English to each other? (Or why do foreign people speak English to each other?) I know it's so you don't have to subtitle the whole thing, but it just bothers me.
- Movies that take place in the future but use the hairstyles and clothing trends of the year it was made so when you watch it ten or twenty years later it's ridiculous. cc: Logan's Run, Blade Runner, etc.

Quintilius Varus - Leeloo saves the universe at the end because Bruce Willis' kiss proves to her that love exists.

Posted by: Electric Boogaloo | January 5, 2007 7:11 PM | Report abuse

I have to disagree with the 13th Warrior comment. While I thought the movie was incredibly boring (although better than the book, which isn't saying much), I thought that the movie actually managed to show the process of language acquisition. Too bad the Amazing Planet wasn't amazing enough to recognize that it wasn't supposed to be happening in a single conversation.

Actually, the whole list seems like a sequence of easy targets--the choices aren't creative, and the analysis certainly isn't well-written.

I have to say, too, that Die Hard 2 looks like a work of continuity genius compared to Die Hard 3.

Posted by: Kate | January 5, 2007 7:11 PM | Report abuse

Creepiest has to be any Naked Gun movie with OJ sneaking around wearing a knit cap spying through windows on people.

The space aliens in Life of Brian was brilliant, and it's a comedy.

For stupid how about all the movies when the leading man removes the leading lady's glasses and it turns out she's pretty?

For all time dumb how about Hamlet. In Act 4 he goes off to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and how does Shakespeare get him back to Denmark in time for Act 5? That's right. Pirates. What can we expect from Jerry Bruckheimer when Shakespeare resorted to pirates? Alas.

Posted by: otis | January 5, 2007 7:11 PM | Report abuse

Oh yeah, I love 16 Candles too, but how dumb is it that Jake Ryan gives Farmer Ted his girlfriend and the keys to a ridiculously expensive car like it's nothing because he wants to meet up with a girl he's never talked to instead?

Posted by: Electric Boogaloo | January 5, 2007 7:14 PM | Report abuse

The red carpet at the Oscar's scene in Shrek 2 gave me a stomach ache. I hate when an entire scene comes out of nowhere in a movie just to try to make the film funnier. A clear note from some lame executive.

Posted by: frisky | January 5, 2007 7:27 PM | Report abuse

I nominate the final fight sequence on the front lawn in the original Lethal Weapon. It's over. You got the bad guy. Just cuff him and be done with it. No need to hold back the police so Riggs can finish his little testosterone-driven sparring match.

Posted by: Rog | January 5, 2007 7:28 PM | Report abuse

Frankly, I found it rather insulting to all the real people who died on the Titanic that these two caricatures could escape, what, two, three times?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 7:31 PM | Report abuse

As I posted on the article's website, the writer doesn't pay attention to a movie and then criticizes what he doesn't understand. In "Contact," it was explained the beach and father imagery were used because she wouldn't be able to comprehend their form of existence.

Posted by: Kevin | January 5, 2007 7:40 PM | Report abuse

"Contact" had tremendous buildup, but the actual contact was a letdown..

Ditto "Abyss", where the plastic underwater world just was a huge anticlimax.

Posted by: KD | January 5, 2007 7:43 PM | Report abuse

Every scene with Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman in Star Wars: Episode II and III. Bad scripts, bad characterization, really bad acting.

Posted by: SB | January 5, 2007 9:59 PM | Report abuse

I would vote for Independece Day and when the President gets in a plane to attack the space ship ... any veneer of verisimilitude was lost there, baby.

Posted by: chap | January 5, 2007 10:15 PM | Report abuse

Road House, hands down. The dumbest moment is pretty much the part beginning where the movie starts and ending a little later when the movie ends. You know the part -- the whole thing.

From premise to execution, it is amazingly dumb. Wow, how can you not sit, watch and marvel at its "dumbicity" whenever it comes on. A classic.

Posted by: Greg | January 5, 2007 10:26 PM | Report abuse

Lady in the Water: the second the word "narf" was uttered, I snorted so hard I blew my frontal cortex out through my nostrils. That movie was so horrible, a Charles Laughton/Lawrence Oliver hybrid couldn't have saved it. Didn't M. Night Shysterman realize that by revealing to the audience the purpose of the narf and the destiny of the writer (vainly played by himself), that her being saved by that idiotic eagle was completely irrelevant to the audience. And don't even get me started with those freakin' monkeys.

Posted by: Movie Guy | January 5, 2007 10:36 PM | Report abuse

"The Forgotten" with Julianne Moore - most of the movie was stupid, but it turned just completely ridiculous when the airport CEO cum alien character suddenly zips up into the sky. Same when the female cop is zipped up into the sky and then there is the "eye" looking down. Totally ridiculous.

Posted by: Sharon | January 5, 2007 10:51 PM | Report abuse

On the topic of Star Wars, there was a moment in Episode II that was outrageous in it's stupidity. In a scene near the end of the flick when Yoda is fighting Count Dooku. Anakin and Obi Wan (I believe) are lying on the ground unable to move after being bested in combat by Count Dooku. Yoda shows up to save the day and the Jedi Master and the Count proceed to engage in an epic dual while the Jedis lay helplessly in the floor nearby. At one point, Dooku uses the force to displace a marble column in order to crush the fallen Jedi, and thereby distracting the Jedi Master. Yoda, seeing that he must use his own powers of the force to save the Jedi and decides to levitate the falling column in mid-air above them which saps his strength and allows Dooku the time to escape in his nearby space craft. It seems that Yoda, despite his powers of the force, made a few poor decisions here:

First off, instead of attempting to lift an incredibly heavy column, why didn't he just use the force to sweep the relatively light bodies of the two Jedis out from under the falling column, which would have then allowed him to continue fighting Count Dooku?

Secondly, once he made the decision to use the force to lift the column, instead of simply moving it away from the Jedis and safely setting it down nearby, why didn't he instead use it as a battering ram and smash it into the ship of Count Dooku which was literally yards away and would have prevented the evil Count's getaway?

I think that if Yoda's decision-making skills had been a bit more attuned during that critical moment, the Universe would be a very different place today.

Posted by: Movie Guy | January 5, 2007 11:04 PM | Report abuse

Daryl Hannah's cheezy "performance art" piece in "Legal Eagles."

Posted by: Tim | January 5, 2007 11:05 PM | Report abuse

Independence Day. There were two scenes I had to wrestle through. First - Pilot Will Smith is supposedly so distraught over his best friend getting shot down in an alien 2-on-2 dogfight, that he boxes the alien fighter and knocks him out with a single punch on a southwestern dessert. Oh pleeeaasseeee . . .

Secondly - Will Smith observes the flying prowess of the alien fighters and from that observation alone is able to teach him self just hours before the aliens destroy humans, how to fly a superior alien fighter out to space and into the alien mother ship without detection. Yeah, right. So much for quick studies.

Posted by: Go Ravens | January 5, 2007 11:07 PM | Report abuse

In the original War of the Worlds, which I saw in middle school I think, the main character determines the alien is dead by checking it's pulse. What makes him think aliens have pulses? And how did he know where to check for it? I laughed out loud at that.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 5, 2007 11:23 PM | Report abuse

I loved you've lost that loving feeling. I saw a YouTube video of Borgen singing it at a Borgen Project fundraiser and it was identical to cruise.

Posted by: lolo | January 5, 2007 11:45 PM | Report abuse

When the shark followed Mrs. Brody from Amity Island to Jamaica in "Jaws: The Revenge" and then roared in pain when a broken piece of a boat's bow was rammed into it in the end (Gee, I hope that I didn't give anything away).

Posted by: Todd | January 5, 2007 11:52 PM | Report abuse

The fake-orgasm-in-the-deli scene in "When Harry Met Sally" has always bugged me as beyond dumb. Sally's character was painfully uptight and ultra-WASP prissy--there's no way she would have put on such a public display. The whole movie she's tightly wound, but one afternoon in the deli she does "Girls Gone Wild"?

Obvs, Ephron or Reiner wrote that scene years before and was dying to put it in something--no matter that it was totally out of character. The stunt casting of Reiner's mother as the "I'll have what she's having" lady only confirms that.

Posted by: I'll have the pastrami | January 5, 2007 11:55 PM | Report abuse

Something that always breaks my 'suspension of disbelief' in the movies is when an attractive woman is able to overlook the male lead's chauvinism, insincerity, insensitivity, cheating, and rudeness and gets together with him just because he is good looking. Too many instances to list here.

Now, it appears there are several instances on the list and comments where movies are just going 'over the top' and doing it with a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek. Several of the films mentioned don't suppose to take themselves too seriously e.g., The Fifth Element and Charlie's Angels II.

There are also instances where the interpretation is just plain off e.g., Contact, Life of Brian, Adaptation. I actually enjoy movies where every aspect isn't spoon fed in a 'Hollywood ready' pre-digested gel.

To those who pick apart Star Wars - yes, you could probably do an entire list of inconsistencies and corny aspects. However, when you take into consideration the massive scope of the films and the fact that it takes place in a 'galaxy far, far away' perhaps we can look past the trivial details and appreciate the incredible work the Lucas has brought us. As Obi-Wan said, "you'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Now, we can get on to trashing Matrix II and III. (It seems like any movie with Keanu or Tom Cruise has a high likelihood of getting on this list!) I study spirituality and metaphysics fairly rigorously and it appears to me that the writers took a few bong hits and flipped through their favorite books, pulling an idea here and there then putting them in the cosmic blender and hitting 'frappe'. It made about as much sense as the flux capacitor from Back to the Future, but that was fun.

Posted by: Freddy | January 5, 2007 11:56 PM | Report abuse

Pearl Harbor - The whole love triangle thing between Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale and Josh Hartnett was weak, typical and it just didn't fit at any level. For me it nearly destroyed the movie.

Posted by: Go Ravens | January 6, 2007 12:11 AM | Report abuse

How about the gnocchi-making/incest scene in The Godfather III?

One scene in a great movie that has always made me cringe is in the Manchurian Candidate when Sinatra is trying to break the spell on Raymond and all of a sudden Sinatra starts talking like a rat pack drunk and spoils the mood of the scene.

Another pet peeve is the volleyball scene in Stalag 17? I know that the movie was a monumental prison-break film, William Holden is masterful, and the comedy is very slap-stick but it's still difficult to stomach watching the Nazi guard hand his rifle over to the American volley-ball player to join in the game and start clapping his hands like a retarded seal. I get it, he's a dumb Nazi, but still...

Posted by: Movie Guy | January 6, 2007 12:21 AM | Report abuse

Dumbest Movie Moment? How about Harrison Ford clinging to the outside of German U-boat for a transoceanic journey in Raiders of the Lost Ark, particularly because the movie was made by filmmakers (Steven Spielberg and George Lucas) who should know better. I know that action/adventure films intermittently require a suspension of disbelief, but this scene requires the audience to have given up thought altogether.

Posted by: Hal (Taos, NM) | January 6, 2007 12:30 AM | Report abuse

It's incredible to me that nobody else has mentioned BATTLEFIELD EARTH, the John Travolta sci-fi film. Almost any scene could qualify for the "dumbest" list, but what about the one in which the rebel humans (who have been living as barbaric cavemen for many generations) locate a former U.S. Air Force base filled with jet fighters that have been parked there for a couple thousand years, then quickly get in them and fly them off to lead an attack on the alien occupiers? Of course the planes are ready for immediate takeoff, with full fuel tanks.

I liked the writing in the 49 Dumbest list. The blogger was obviously foreign, probably European, and doing his best with English. Very expressive and funny, even if the English isn't always just right.

Posted by: Anthony | January 6, 2007 12:59 AM | Report abuse

This 49 worst movies list is waaaay to focused on the last 15 years. In reference to the 2001 remake of Planet of the Apes, the writer says "Charlton Heston wouldn't put up with this nonsense." As if the original Planet of the Apes, The Ten Commandment and Ben Hur weren't absolutely chock full of nonsense and hokum. Not to mention Soylent Green! How about this: A Touch of Evil - I'm Charlton Heston, the waspiest white man in history; put some dark face paint on me and, all of a sudden, I'm a Mexican even though I still talk and act exactly like a waspy white man.

Btw, I liked that space scene at the end of Contact. Also, I think the writer totally missed the point of the Antonio Bandaras translation scene in the 13th Warrior which, in my opinion, was a very underrated movie. The writer is also way off on their interpretation of The 5th Element, Life of Brian, and Adaptation and that's all I have to say about that.

Posted by: Movie Guy | January 6, 2007 1:01 AM | Report abuse

Spiderman 2 - Granted, I've never read the comic books, but that's IT? Spidey can climb buildings and swing through town on silk threads, but he's stumped by Alfred Molina's extra sets of hands?

The Matrix - Trinity randomly declares her love for Neo, making her the queen of the nonsequitur. I always suspected that this plot point was thrown in to appease the teenage girls who came to see Keanu in a romantic role no matter what the premise of the movie.

I LOVE Charade, but I never understood why Audrey Hepburn didn't blow out the matches that Tex tried to throw on her.

Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason - WTF moments abound in this movie, with the "Like a Virgin" scene taking the cake, but I was also amazed that, despite having been thrown in a Thai prison for drug smuggling, Bridget only began to cry when she suspected that Mark Darcy did not love her anymore.

Posted by: goober | January 6, 2007 2:32 AM | Report abuse

My pick: Independence Day, the President's wife is severely injured and in the trauma ward of Area 51. Everything is loaded with HiTech. So the woman is dying slowly. All her family is around, and she get's to speak a few famous last words. But where the hell is Dr. Carter with his reanimation cart?? Where's any doctor? Come on, no reanimation for the First Lady? Give me a freaking break!

Almost as good are the endings of romantic comedies, where the guy has to spill his beans in public. "I was so stupid, but I love you. Please marry me!" All that in a crowd at an airport, in a church full of relatives, in a subway station, in front of the entire senior management of the company he works for. And the woman does not slap him silly for the embarrassment, she melts into his arms.

Posted by: hågar | January 6, 2007 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Unquestionably -- the end of "Sphere." The greatest gap between talent/achievement of the actors/writer/director and result in the history of movies.

Other bonehead endings: "The Forgotten," "Gothica," "Flightplan," "Desperate Measures." THE VERY DUMBEST EVER.

Posted by: Nell | January 6, 2007 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Anything poor Natalie Portman had to say in the latest Star Wars. That poor girl went to Harvard...give her some decent lines, please!! Or did they just edit her out of the movie?
What was that idiot movie with John Travolta as the dancer? "Stayin' Alive"? And also "Flashdance"!!

Posted by: Barb | January 6, 2007 2:38 PM | Report abuse

"Yentl"
Of course he "knew" she was a girl! Of course she used the candle on Amy Irving!

Posted by: Barb | January 6, 2007 2:40 PM | Report abuse

More old-movie stupidity:

"The Conqueror." John Wayne as Genghis Khan is funny enough on his own, but when The Duke spouts lines like "Dance for me, Tartar woman!", it's manna from Dumb Heaven.

"Suddenly Last Summer." Elizabeth Taylor shouts "We Procured For Him!" in the thickest, most ridiculous fake-Southern accent you'll ever hear.

"Meet John Doe": The finale of this cracked Frank Capra film is so stupid and strange it might have come straight from Bizarro World.

Posted by: Timothy Hulsey | January 7, 2007 10:54 PM | Report abuse

The scene in "Chasing Amy" where they break up in the street and they both are screaming at the top of their lungs. Waaaay over-acted, like they'd just rehearsed it 50 frillion times.

Posted by: charlotte | January 8, 2007 12:44 AM | Report abuse

The last shot in Ian McKellen-s Richard III - the only time I-ve ever shouted NOOOOOO! at a movie.

Posted by: More Top O The World | January 8, 2007 9:21 AM | Report abuse

The last shot in Ian McKellen-s Richard III , as he is falling to his death, SMILING!! to the tune of //I-m Sittin On Top Of The World// -- the only time I-ve ever shouted NOOOOOO! at a movie.

Posted by: More Top O The World | January 8, 2007 9:22 AM | Report abuse

My all-time most-hated movie moment is the disturbingly violent sex scene at the end of Munich, interspersed with scenes (apparently flashbacks) of all the bombings this guy's done. So he's hammering away at his wife, then a bomb, then he flings his head back and sweat goes flying everywhere, then a bomb, then back to him, and his hair is completely dry. Dumb and disturbing on about every possible level.

Posted by: Stefanie | January 8, 2007 10:32 AM | Report abuse

People missed some all-time dumb moments here, probably because these movies are so bad, it's hard to own up to having seen them.

The Core - all information flow regarding an enormous multi-billion dollar government project to save the planet is controlled by a single 20-something man fueled by Hot Pockets. And that whole "government puts together enormous multi-billion dollar drilling machine in record time" bit. That too.

The Day After Tomorrow - seriously, just watch it. The characters "outrun the cold". Just think about that.

Lethal Weapon 4 - the movie that teaches that Jet Li is invulnerable to punches, kicks, and machine gun fire, and can only be defeated by being thrown underwater and then impaled on a piece of rebar. Dumbest final villain fight I can think of right now.

Ladyhawke - it's not that dumb, I guess, if we're going with the "suspension of belief to allow for movie premise". It just gets some sort of honorable mention for the quality of Matthew Broderick's accent. He's British? Now he's not? Wait, now he is again? Thanks for the laughs, Matthew.

Posted by: loonatic | January 8, 2007 11:11 AM | Report abuse

I'm going against conventional wisdom with this one, but . . . I thought the ending of Hitchcock's VERTIGO was incredibly stupic and one of the biggest cheats ever. Saw it at a revival showing in a theater with four friends, and when the ending happened, we all just shrieked in disbelief, then sat staring at each other when the lights came up, saying, "That was IT?" A truly stupid moment that concluded, and ruined, an up-till-then great movie.

And you have to have seen the original STAR TREK movie on the big screen to have caught this one: whoever did the matte painting of Starfleet Command in an early scene actually painted *human figures* into the background. Nonmoving human figures, of course. I was utterly flabbergasted. Talk about ruining a viewer's suspension of disbelief! If you ever have a chance to closely examine the background of this scene, check out the left side of the screen.

Posted by: DMS | January 8, 2007 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Agreed on Andie McDowell completely ruining the ending of Four Weddings and a Funeral. I don't understand why the line didn't end up on the cutting room floor. The movie would be fine without it.

I don't think that many people saw it, but I found Down with Love to be a charming and hilarious flick until you get to the "twist," which is stupid stupid stupid. Granted, *something* was needed to explain the situation, but the long speech was terrible.

Posted by: WDC | January 8, 2007 3:13 PM | Report abuse

I agree with all those who say the stupid moment should be taken from an otherwise serious film, in which case my ultimate moment is:

The very end of "Legends of the Fall", when a mountain man-ified Brad Pitt is attacked by a bear in slow motion. We're left with a freeze frame of the two of them grappling.

I lauged hysterically when I first saw the movie (1994? 1995?), and I still laugh when I think about it today. Presumably NOT the emotion the filmakers were going for in this painfully serious film....

Posted by: T.P. | January 8, 2007 9:11 PM | Report abuse

GWTW--I know that Margaret Mitchell wrote it this way, but every time Prissy goes into her "Lawdsy, Miss Scarlett, I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies! Maw wouldn't let me 'round folks that was having 'em! I don't know WHY I tell sech a lie!" schtick, I cringe.

Posted by: jrobinson | January 9, 2007 5:42 PM | Report abuse

"Brokeback Mountain" is dumber than "Showgirls."

Posted by: David Ehrenstein | January 9, 2007 8:23 PM | Report abuse

Day After Tomorrow-- when they burned the books instead of the furniture.

Posted by: green mts | January 11, 2007 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Anybody see "The Jackal"? I think Bruce Willis and Richard Gere were the stars of this movie.

The foot-chase scene at the end through the "metro tunnels" in D.C. was completely fake. Anybody who ever visited the mall in D.C. would know the metro scenes were not shot on location. The subway cars looked like buses with pneumatic tires. This scene was probably shot at some airport.

Posted by: Hershey Bears | January 19, 2007 4:14 PM | Report abuse

I guess this list is way old, but I just discovered it and a movie moment immediately popped into my mind: The end of the movie/musical Rent. I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't seen it, but I hate that last song and I hate the whole "I flew over the moon" bit. Loved the musical and the movie was a nice adaptation, but I wish they had a different ending.

Posted by: liz | January 26, 2007 10:47 PM | Report abuse

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