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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 02/14/2007

My Funny Valentine

By Liz Kelly

Full disclosure: I asked celebrated wit and official Celebritology mentor Gene Weingarten to craft me a few stanzas having to do with celebrities and Valentine's Day, but -- shucks -- I never expected this masterpiece, proving -- once again -- that the funny bone is the quickest route to a girl's heart (at least this one's heart):

Paris in the springtime
Is like Paris in the fall.
A minute watching Paris,
And Paris starts to pall.

Britney is a spaniel
Nice but really dumb.
Don't care if she wears panties --
Who wants to see her bum?

Lindsay's got no flesh left
And J.Lo's got too much --
Anna's dead; besides, I dread
Her creepy Midas touch.

My choice of famous valentine
Takes no apologist --
It's without shame I say the name
Of the Celebritologist.

By Liz Kelly  | February 14, 2007; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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