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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 04/ 4/2007

Keith Richards, Father's Little Helper

By Liz Kelly

Richards in 2003. (Reuters)

Keith Richards is the world's longest living dead man walking, a member of one of the defining bands of rock and roll and has been a gracious punchline (see above "dead man walking" reference) for decades now. A guy who has survived heroin, disco and a nasty spill from a coconut tree deserves a certain amount of props for sheer staying power.

Turns out, though, that Richards is also a genius.

Richards, with one well-placed sentence, was single-handedly able to make Britney Spears look like a Girl Scout, Pete Doherty seem almost angelic, Tom Cruise appear somewhat normal and set a new high (or low, depending on your point of view) for celebrity scoop.

Just in case there's anyone left out there who hasn't yet heard, Richards reportedly told a British magazine that he snorted his dead father's cremated remains:

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Smashing. Though, to be fair, Richards's manager has since gone on record saying the comment was a joke and that no one should take it seriously.

True or not, though, it's the thought that counts. As we ponder the identity of Anna Nicole Smith's baby's daddy, yawn at Rosie O'Donnell's gazillionth feud and subsist on crumbs of Diddy/Sienna Miller sightings, Richards has given us just what we needed: a big, juicy bit of joy brilliant in its simplicity, shocking in its outrageousness and, in the weirdest way possible, kind of touching. After all, this is a guy who doesn't put just anything in his nose. (Oh, wait.)

Thank you Keith Richards, for rocking our world yet again.

By Liz Kelly  | April 4, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Interesting coindidence -- last night I was watching an old episode of Six Feet Under from Netflix and in one of the scenes at a funeral of a young actress who died of a cocaine overdose some of her friends snorted her with cocaine.

Posted by: dc | April 4, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

just when this world can't seem to get any more bizarre...along comes keith richards to show you, 'snap! oh yes it can!'
Just a joke. Snorted me dad. HA HA HA.

Posted by: methinks | April 4, 2007 11:26 AM | Report abuse

so does this make Keith a cannibal? Granted his father was well-done (very, very well-done) and Keith ingested him via the nose, he did nonetheless consume another human.

Posted by: BF | April 4, 2007 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I don't know whether Keef really was joking with this one, but I don't know which is worse: the possibility that he snorted his dad, or the fact that it seems just so believable.

Posted by: Steve | April 4, 2007 11:46 AM | Report abuse

that's all.
just ew.

Posted by: b | April 4, 2007 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Last nite on the news they said his dad died in 2002.

I though Keith gave up drugs loooong ago!! WHAT A SHOCK!!


If anyone else had made this statement they'd have a one way ticket on the crazy train to reahab or worse, but Keith Richards says it & all I can think of is " DUUUUDE!!!THAT'S SOOOOO HARCORE ROCK N ROLL!!! WOO HOO!!!"

Is it wrong that I think it's cool?

Posted by: Bored @ work | April 4, 2007 11:56 AM | Report abuse answer to your questions and strictly my opinion (which i'm giving since you asked on an open forum), yes.

Posted by: methinks | April 4, 2007 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Let me guess, the interview was done on April Fools Day and hit the AP wire on April 3rd... does this sound remotely true to anyone?

Posted by: DCer | April 4, 2007 12:07 PM | Report abuse

why does he have a button coming out of his head? is that how they keep millionaires alive these days? they keep them sewn together?

Posted by: not bluto | April 4, 2007 12:13 PM | Report abuse

I'm not sure whether this shows how gullible the public has become or how sad it is that, just because it came from the Cryptkeeper himself, that it's kinda believable.

I'm just waiting for Gwyneth to chime in with "this just shows how Americans don't understand the British sense of humor."

Posted by: WoW | April 4, 2007 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Keith Richards IS rock n roll.

There has never been, nor will there ever be, a greater rock n roll band -- or any band, for that matter -- than The Rolling Stones.

Joke or not, this is one f-ing cool rock n roll story.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 4, 2007 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I can't wait for VH1 to update all of its shows to include this story and talk it into the ground.

Will it top the Zeppellin shark myth?

Posted by: VH1 | April 4, 2007 12:33 PM | Report abuse

not bluto: Heard Richards say in an interview once that he lets his kids tie stuff in his hair. I think it must be a family tradition/competition to find the strangest available cr@p to add to the mess.

Posted by: KiKi | April 4, 2007 12:41 PM | Report abuse

I hate to admit I never heard this - What is the Zeppellin shark myth of which you speak?

Posted by: jlr | April 4, 2007 12:42 PM | Report abuse

The Zepplin shark myth goes like this. In Seattle there is a hotel that juts out into the ocean and famously you can fish quite well from it's rooms. Zepplin had a red-headed groupie with them and from everything I understand to be true, one of the members of the band joked that he caught a RED SNAPPER and put it in her red snapper. What does snapper mean in 1970s UK slang? It's a bad joke. Like the Walt Disney joke (he'd not dead, just in suspended animation) someone didn't get the joke and thought it really happened in real life. Then the red snapper became a shark. If you research this one it's pretty obviously a not-all-that-funny joke that some teenager totally misunderstood and passed off as fact.

Posted by: DCer | April 4, 2007 12:52 PM | Report abuse

DCer, actually, it is sort of true. Fish was dead, never actually um... inserted, performed by Cole, the road manager, not the band (tho Bonham apparently was in the room when it happened.)

Posted by: BF | April 4, 2007 1:09 PM | Report abuse

After reading that Snopes entry, I take it back ... I had forgotten about Zep. The Stones and Zeppelin are the GOAT. Seriously, you think Nickelback is doing anything remotely close to this sort of stuff on the road? Not only did the Stones and Zeppelin make great music, they lived the life.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 4, 2007 2:35 PM | Report abuse

GOAT! Greatest Of All Time?!?
I love it!

Posted by: HAHAHA!! | April 4, 2007 2:56 PM | Report abuse

"They lived the life." Well, in Richards case the verb "live" has to be taken very broadly.

Posted by: ep | April 4, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

The shark incident was an integral part of Frank Zappa Live at the Filmore East album.

I think Keef was jaust having the interviewer on. I mean, he's probably been asked that question about a million times so he just came up with something ridiculous to see where it went. My $.02

Posted by: STick | April 4, 2007 3:33 PM | Report abuse

I hope (and probably so does his dad) ol Keith snoted his father's sphincter with the blow. What an ass. Even if this wasn't true it's still sick. Just die already, Keith.

Posted by: bryan2369 | April 4, 2007 3:54 PM | Report abuse

you forgot one...Stones, Zepplin and The Dead. The all time greats!

Posted by: Anonymous | April 4, 2007 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Considering the lead guy for Nickelback just got arrested in a strip bar last night for hasseling some cops doing an inspection, he is at least living some of the life. No doubt that the Stones probably still do more in one night that Mr. Kroger will do in a year, but the new guys aren't totally falling down on the job.

And "The Life" did kill alot of rockers well before their time. It aint all fun and games, sad to say.:^(

And bravo to Keef for not really taking life to seriously.

Posted by: EricS | April 4, 2007 4:17 PM | Report abuse

KEITH! Now THAT'S original! C'mon, admit it, who else could have thought that one up. All of today's pretenders can't hold a candle. This is the greatest rocker of all time topping himself in his 60's. No apologies. Rock On, with your Bad Self!

Would it be wrong to dig up my father's remains, have him cremated and snort some? (Keith he is my idol, after all; I'm trying to figure out how emulate without being totally lame.)

On a side note, Stevie Nicks must be feeling better about her "habits" in the 70s. No worries, Gold Dust Woman.

Posted by: mf'ns | April 4, 2007 4:30 PM | Report abuse

And he was always such a sweet, young boy. Sigh.

Posted by: Keith's First Grade Teacher | April 4, 2007 4:42 PM | Report abuse

That devil worship snorted my ashes, too!

Posted by: Brian Jones | April 4, 2007 4:43 PM | Report abuse

It's true, Brian, we all did. Even Charlie!

Posted by: Mick | April 4, 2007 5:16 PM | Report abuse

just getting arrested at a strippie now passes for "rock n roll"? sad, indeed. it was probably even one of those fake-strippies like we have here in Virginia, with undies and pasties.

I want PCP-induced brawls with the cops, not drunken disorderly. I want dead hookers and ten pounds of coke and busted hotel rooms, not heckling cops. I don't care if the life kills you before your time. I'm not living that life for that reason, but it doesn't mean I don't want my rockers to be careful.

Hell, it's gotten to the point where Scott Weiland's wife is more rock n roll than Nickelback.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 4, 2007 5:19 PM | Report abuse

This is awesome, vintage Keith Richards. Who cares whether he did it or not? Other "rockers" today don't even have the balls to joke about something like this. With Keith, I'm halfway inclined to believe he really did it.

This is great.

Posted by: Cate | April 4, 2007 5:19 PM | Report abuse

I think he should be commended for not shooting his father in his veins.

Baby steps.

Posted by: The Family Goat | April 4, 2007 5:33 PM | Report abuse

You know it's indeed true. And not really that off. It's seems like a stoner-type tribute to the max. In a very good way...

Posted by: Drew | April 4, 2007 11:02 PM | Report abuse

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