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Posted at 7:59 AM ET, 04/ 6/2007

Morning Mix: Disney Miffed with Keith Richards' Snorting Story

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal (Witherhaal? Gyllenspoon?) get serious... Al Gore to open Tribeca Film Festival... Scarlett Johansson likes to be mysterious... Drew Barrymore signs on to film adaptation of "He's Just Not That Into You"... Britney Spears cuts price on Malibu mansion... Joe Francis refuses to surrender to "judge gone wild"... Anna Nicole Smith doctor under investigation; Smith's diaries up for auction again... Kevin Costner sues music promoter for breach of contract... Gary Glitter to ask Vietnam for amnesty again.

Rumor Mill: Disney miffed with "Pirates" co-star Keith Richards over snorting story... Hey, Courtney Love, Whoopi Goldberg just lost 43 pounds, too... Ice Cube fires boozing tour bus driver... Sean Connery still not on board for "Indiana Jones" sequel.

"It wouldn't work. I have a butt, I have boobs and I have a woman's curves; there is no way I'd see them go to zero. I hate to look in a magazine and see a picture of a girl who looks so thin she looks unhappy and as if she just needs someone to give her a good meal." -- Jennifer Lopez on why she'll never be a size zero

By Liz Kelly  | April 6, 2007; 7:59 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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"I have a butt, I have boobs and I have a woman's curves; there is no way I'd see them go to zero."

I believe the concept Miss Lopez is attempting to convey in her sophisticated, stylized manner is the mathematical construct known as the asymptote.

Posted by: Thor | April 6, 2007 8:36 AM | Report abuse

Hey, I like Jenny's butt and boobs and all the connecting parts.

Posted by: 23112 | April 6, 2007 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Lopez can understand the pressure: She says that in Hollywood, "I've always been seen as a big girl."

It's so true. I can barely tell her and Camryn Manheim apart.

Posted by: BF | April 6, 2007 9:36 AM | Report abuse

If actors & actresses were restaurants, Jennifer Lopez would be the McDonalds of Hollywood ("alot on the menu, just not sure it's food").

I'm torn if Paris Hilton would be a Kentucky Fried Chicken or a Checkers... probably Checkers ("get in, get out, and it's greasy.")

Posted by: Anonymous | April 6, 2007 9:43 AM | Report abuse

JLo has boobs? really?

Marc Anthony is a size zero.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 6, 2007 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton would be a burger joint that frequently gets cited for health code violations.

Posted by: petal | April 6, 2007 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Did you ever think you'd ever see the word "asymptote" on the same page w/Paris Hilton & Jlo?

I had to Google asymptote & I still don't know what it means but I know it shouldn't be on the same page as Paris or JLo.

Posted by: Bored @ work | April 6, 2007 11:42 AM | Report abuse

I don't why you'd object, the use of "asymptote" was perfectly cromulent.


Posted by: Ken | April 6, 2007 11:50 AM | Report abuse

So, I'm reading the column half asleep today and I was TOTALLY convinced that the JLo quote was Sean Connery explaining why he won't be in the next Indiana Jones movie. Was thinking James Bond had gotten fluffy and vain...I better go have my coffee.

Posted by: Alison in TN | April 6, 2007 11:56 AM | Report abuse

allison, i thought the same thing too: bond w/b**bies? the quote made much more sense when i read it came from jlo. and i say cut her some slack. yes, she's a diva, but it's not like she went halle berry vain and just released that as a statement. she answered an interviewer's question

Posted by: cee_jay | April 6, 2007 12:09 PM | Report abuse

It's a shame Harrison Ford is onboard with the sequel. It's possible that Sean Connery knows a stink-bomb when he sees one.

Shia LaBeouf as Indiana Jone's son proves that Indiana Jones 4 is bereft of any worthwhile story or characters, so they're pandering to the teenage audience. Harrison's too long in the tooth to be playing Indiana now. What's next, Leonard Nimoy reprises a geriatric Spock?

Posted by: Anonymous | April 6, 2007 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Big ups to Ken for adding to my vocabulary. I just need to find the right conversations to drop these gems.

Posted by: petal | April 6, 2007 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Now I've always liked Reese Witherspoon, but what is a 7-year-old girl doing getting manicures? Ick.

Posted by: Catherine | April 6, 2007 12:25 PM | Report abuse

B@Work. I too had to google "asymptote" because I had vaguely remembered it from school...but after reading the definition, i thought WTF?!?!

I think ken's comment was posted on the wrong board

Posted by: bored... | April 6, 2007 3:06 PM | Report abuse

I hope Vietnam makes an example of out Gary Glitter. The Rueters story didn't mention that he had already been convicted in Britain of possessing child pornography. That in itself makes his activities in Southeast Asia HIGHLY suspect.

Posted by: MK | April 6, 2007 3:39 PM | Report abuse

[Lopez can understand the pressure: She says that in Hollywood, "I've always been seen as a big girl."]
BF said [It's so true. I can barely tell her and Camryn Manheim apart.]
The way I read it, she was saying that Hollywood...the land of size 0 females who look emaciated..she's considered a big girl and by a size 0 standard she is.
By most normal people's standards she's, well, normal size.

Posted by: not that I'm a fan but | April 6, 2007 6:33 PM | Report abuse

Lemme get this straight. Disney (A.K.A. Satan's Savings & Loan) is honked off at Keith for a ribald little nugget about snorting his dad's cremated remains (because it might impact their POTC III profits)? Yeah, right. Like Michael Eisner wasn't sodomizing a Mickey Mouse plush toy in his office, every chance he got. Probably invited his golf buddies to watch.

Posted by: Thanx for the chuckle, BF | April 7, 2007 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal:

Go with either "Re-Jake" or "Jeese"!!!

Posted by: SoMD | April 9, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

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