Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
Posted at 11:21 AM ET, 05/21/2007

Who Has the Most CRASS?

By

Yep, Britney has plenty of CRASS. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

Liz is out today because she either is secretly Canadian and wants to celebrate Victoria Day or she has a case of the Mondays. Either way, she'll be back tomorrow.

Once upon a time, March 2006 to be exact, a woman named Liz had a dream that one day she could be washingtonpost.com's source for snark and cattiness (David Broder notwithstanding). Through her grit and determination, not to mention her alacrity and pizzazz, she made it happen. And now, 625 Celebrity postings later, it's time to look back and see what we've covered.

We examined every one of the 625 posts to determine which celebrities have been mentioned the most. Since all posts aren't equal, we created something we call the Celebritology Reference Accumulated Scoring System, or C.R.A.S.S. Celebrities earn 1 CRASS point for appearing in a Morning Mix and 3 CRASS points for appearing in the longer postings.

The CRASSiest Celebrity: Britney Spears! No surprise there. She dominated with 222 CRASS points (31 more than second-place Tom Cruise) and has the highest CRASS score for a single month in November 2006. What was going on in November? Only her divorce from K-Fed, the rumored sex tape, and "hanging out" with her new buddy Paris. No one else could top that trifecta of crassness.

The CRASSiest Couple: Brangelina! They crushed second-place TomKat by 15 points. Britney and K-Fed were a distant third but they were clearly hurt by not having a nickname like TomKat.

The CRASSiest Kid: Suri Cruise! She handily defeated Sean Preston by 31 points. No other kids were anywhere close.

The CRASSiest Jock: David Beckham. Not a total shocker given his flashy ways and upcoming move to LA., but is he more of a celebrity than a jock? The runner-up: CRASS wannabe O.J. Simpson. (He's appealing the vote count.)

The CRASSiest Musicians: Madonna! Second place was Michael Jackson, but is he really much of a musician anymore? He was followed by Justin Timberlake, J.Lo, Prince, and Courtney Love. The rest of the list is an interesting cross-section of the music industry: Paul McCartney, Keith Richards, Pete Doherty, Snoop Dogg, Diddy, Jay-Z, and Elton John. Where are the CRASS rock chicks?!?!

Top 10 CRASS Celebrities
1. Britney Spears, 222 points
2. Tom Cruise, 191
3. Paris Hilton, 164
4. Angelina Jolie, 155
5. Lindsay Lohan, 152
6. Brad Pitt, 129
7. Katie Holmes, 105
8. Madonna, 100
9. Kevin Federline, 96
10. Anna Nicole Smith, 82

CRASS Dependents
K-Fed's respectable ranking of 9th had us wondering how much that had to do with Britney (well, apart from everything). How many times was K-Fed mentioned in a posting without his better half Britney? A lowly 22% of the time. By comparison, 48% of Katie Holmes's appearances came without any mention of Tom. Brad Pitt had 46% of his appearances without Angelina. Lindsay and Paris were both mentioned in the same post a whopping 53% of the time.

BTW, Lindsay Lohan currently has the most CRASS points this month followed closely by Paris Hilton. Keep it up ladies!

What other Celebritology rankings would you be interested in seeing? Biggest CRASS decline? CRASSiest age or gender?


Guest Celebritologist Frank spends his time developing applications and dealing with his catty coworkers.

By  | May 21, 2007; 11:21 AM ET
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: TomKat Bikes in D.C.
Next: Morning Mix: Paula Abdul Blames Dog for Broken Nose

Comments

Who is Crassiest by police bust?

Posted by: Lisa1 | May 21, 2007 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Madonna has NEVER been a musician. An entertainer, yes, but musician no.

CRASS ratings on Rehab stints?

Posted by: Bored @ work | May 21, 2007 12:11 PM | Report abuse

How about Classiest CRASS: recognition for using one's celebrity for worthwhile causes?

Posted by: PonderingAtWork | May 21, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU for not putting Britney Spears in the C.R.A.S.S. Musicians category.

What, no Courtney Love? Oops, sorry. Forgot that was a Musicians category.

Posted by: SoMD | May 21, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

It would be interesting to find out whether Anna Nicole was CRASSier pre- or post-demise.

Posted by: KiKi | May 21, 2007 12:33 PM | Report abuse

this is like the elias sports bureau of celeb watching! very cool.

Posted by: methinks | May 21, 2007 12:35 PM | Report abuse

How about CRASS point for Celebs that have neighbor issues/lawsuits (Decaprio, Locklear/Richards).

Posted by: Playtime | May 21, 2007 12:55 PM | Report abuse

If we do true musicians, would Paul McCartney be up there?

Posted by: Columbia, MD | May 21, 2007 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for a good Monday laugh! And for using that wretched Britney photo. Every time I see it, I get nostalgic for the old Muppet Movies....

Posted by: cmc | May 21, 2007 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Well, this is an excellent posting by so-called "guest blogger" Frank Thomason, who may or may not be related to "Designing Women" mastermind Linda Bloodworth Thomason.

I think he should take another run through the past year's postings, tho, for rock chicks. He should find plenty of references to Amy Winehouse, The Detroit Cobras and even a stray Lita Ford here and there.

Oh, and for good measure, here's one more: Holly Golightly.

Posted by: Jax Airport | May 21, 2007 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Great post!! I too would like to see who gets the most for rehab.

Posted by: bored | May 21, 2007 2:05 PM | Report abuse

The celeb who has suffered the sharpest drop in CRASS points in a given period should be deemed the biggest CRASS-[thing-you-dig].

The celeb who has most clearly slept his/her way into 15 minutes of dubious fame should be named the biggest CRASS-titute.

The celeb with the best headgear is clearly the number-one CRASS-hat.

The celeb with the best public flameout (think Britney shaving her head and going nuts on that car) should be nominated for the CRASS & Burn Award.

Posted by: byoolin | May 21, 2007 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Nice set of CRASS-tistics

Posted by: b | May 21, 2007 4:09 PM | Report abuse

hahahaha

Posted by: bored... | May 21, 2007 4:52 PM | Report abuse

How about the CRASSest mother/daughter or father/daughter (or mother/son, father/son) team. Hiltons, Simpsons, Lohans to just name a few. You get extra points for jail time or pole dancing lessons.

Posted by: POS | May 21, 2007 5:20 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2011 The Washington Post Company