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Celebritology 2.0: June 3, 2007 - June 9, 2007

Paris is Sobbing

A stricken Paris Hilton. (AP) Paris Hilton is back in the slammer. After a day of ever-evolving courtroom plans and a media circus with at least three rings, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ultimately ordered that she serve her 45-day sentence in jail. In addition to weeping en route to the courthouse, Hilton apparently screamed out for her mother after the judge's decision was announced. So what do we think now? Is everyone still as outraged as they were yesterday? Or are we starting to feel a teensy bit sorry for the "Simple Life" star, who probably longs for the days when her biggest problem was feuding with Nicole Richie? And what's the assessment of all the media coverage? Personally, my two favorite moments this afternoon were: a. when an MSNBC reporter pointed out that Pauly Shore had just driven by the Hilton residence and b....

By Jen Chaney  | June 8, 2007; 3:26 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Paris Hilton  
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Friday List: Movie Title Mashups

Timeless. (Jonathan Mannion -- Govinda Gallery) As improbable as it may sound, I want to be an amalgamation of William Powell and Jay-Z when I grow up. (Yes, I realize I'm 34 and time is running out.) So I was sipping a PBR down at Solly's Tavern, sitting next to Mac the Movie Man (Mac watches movies on a portable DVD player; this night it was "The Magnificent Seven") and becoming increasingly stressed about how to describe my dream of channeling my heroes to Liz's gentle readers. (Seriously, Powell and Jay-Z could have a smooth-off. Dapper duds, rapier wit and magnums of Dom Perignon at two paces. Like that scene from "Zoolander" except better.) Suddenly, Mac exclaimed, "What if they crossed 'The Magnificent Seven' with 'Ocean's 11'?" And there it was: Crisis averted! Topic discovered! Friday List found: Movie Title Mashups. He went through all of that just to...

By Michael Corones  | June 8, 2007; 11:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (87)
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Isaiah Washington Cut From 'Grey's Anatomy'

Headlines: Isaiah Washington, axed from "Grey's Anatomy," says he's "mad as hell" that they're not going to take him anymore... Richie Sambora enters rehab... With Fred Thompson testing the presidential waters, Sam Waterston is now in line to take his spot as the fictitious New York District Attorney... To the elation of wonks everywhere, it has been announced that Angelina Jolie has joined the Council on Foreign Relations... "Young Frankenstein," the musical based on Mel Brooks's 1974 film comedy, will not feature a crestfallen Cloris Leachman... Sean Connery says he is having "too much damned fun" as a retiree and will not reprise his role as Indiana Jones's father... A man single-handedly trying to undo New York City's tough guy image is suing Borat for "emotional damage." (Note to dude: Try running out of gas in the intersection of 38th & 6th during rush hour and then we'll talk.)...

By Michael Corones  | June 8, 2007; 9:22 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (14)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Am I My Brother's Keeper?

Ray J: "You know you want me." Remember Brandy, the teen R&B singer from the early '90s, who bounced around in her video singing about her cute little brother, Ray J, and how he was her bestest friend in the whole wide world and she would always be there for him through thick and thin til' death did they part? Well, forget about her, (though she's been in some hot water lately) it's the brother I want to talk about today. Through the years Ray J has tried ever so hard to jumpstart his own entertainment career. He starred as Brandy's little brother in her now defunct sitcom, "Moesha". He's put out three albums to lukewarm reception, though one or two of his singles snapped off -- notably one with rapper (and plastic surgery addict) Lil' Kim, who he was also rumored to be dating. He starred in one...

By  | June 7, 2007; 11:00 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (23)
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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Report: Paris Checks Out of Jail

Paris Hilton was released from jail this morning after serving three days of her 23-day sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. (Her jail time was reduced from 45 days to an expected 23 days for "good behavior.") The Hilton heiress and "Simple Life" star will spend 40 days on house arrest. There definitely seems to be some fuzzy math involved, as 23 - 3 does not = 40 days last time I checked. Adding to the sense of confusion: Sheriffs spokesman Steve Whitmore says she was released because of an unspecified medical condition. She voluntarily reported to prison Sunday night, shortly after appearing at the MTV Movie Awards. Let the outraged reactions begin (and they already have) in the Celebritology comments section. Update: Fuzzy math clarification -- as explained in Bill Booth's Post story, the sheriff's department is using "generous math," giving Hilton credit for having...

By Nancy Kerr  | June 7, 2007; 9:27 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (266)
Categories:  Paris Hilton  
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Morning Mix: Paris On the Prison Couch?

Headlines: Two days in the joint and Paris needs counseling... Police looking for fan that hip-hop artist Akon threw offstage during a recent concert... British model Paul Sculfor was Jennifer Aniston's dinner date over Memorial Day weekend... not bad Jen, not bad at all... Silver Surfer questions answered for you comic book reading movie going geeks... Brooke Hogan proves she's her father's daughter... Will Smith advised Bruce Willis on how to cope after Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher hooked up... Fans queue up for Bob Barker's last appearance on "The Price Is Right"... Dave Chappelle quizzes the paparazzi about the demand for black celebrity photos... A recent video shoot has led Mike Tyson to the conclusion that he should become a Bollywood star... Rob Lowe kills a bird in Iowa. Rumor Mill: "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis chooses the cost-saving option of staying in jail rather than paying...

By  | June 7, 2007; 8:07 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Hitting That Softsational Rock Spot

Orleans may have produced the quintessential soft rock album cover, but they're still no LRB. (Photo Courtesy of Orleans) Here's a question: Has your life hit rock bottom when you find yourself at home on a Friday night, watching VH1's "40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs"? Or does the nadir not come until you almost yell at the TV because the countdown fails to include even a single song by the Little River Band? Tough call, really. But at least the experience gave me fodder for a blog post. VH1, a network whose programming focuses on pop culture list-making almost as much as it does on anything Flava Flav-related, charted newly wimpy territory with this show, which celebrates Velveeta pop of the Starland Vocal Band variety. (Read the complete list here). Part of me has to wonder why the listmakers didn't just steal every track from this Time-Life collection...

By Jen Chaney  | June 6, 2007; 11:18 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (74)
Categories:  Pop Culture  
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Morning Mix: Another Day, Another Simpson/Mayer Split

Headlines: Jessica Simpson and John Mayer split again ... maybe; it's still unclear whether Simpson's body remains, or is no longer, a wonderland... "Curb Your Enthusiasm's" Larry David and wife Laurie split, too... Tom Sizemore surrenders in probation violation, will be held without bail... Does NBC want, really, really want, to turn Victoria Beckham's reality series into a one-hour primetime special?... In more hopeful TV news, CBS may resurrect "Jericho"... Our prayers have been answered: "Thundercats" is headed to the big screen... Clooney, Pitt and Damon add their marks to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Rumor Mill: Cops called again in Hasselhoff marriage saga... Paris Hilton's brother Barron allegedly mugged at knifepoint in New York... Speaking of Paris, is she really scared in jail or is she just concerned about all the staph infections?... Amy Winehouse fights with new husband in public after MTV Movie Awards... And could Britney...

By Jen Chaney  | June 6, 2007; 6:10 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (28)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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TV End Times

David: What do you think will happen on the last episode of "The Sopranos"? Nate: Dude, how am I supposed to know? I'm dead. (AP/HBO) I recently had a dream about the final episode of "The Sopranos." I know that a. James Gandolfini was in it; b. gunshots may or may not have been fired; and c. the conclusion delivered a satisfying sense of moral ambiguity. But that's all I can remember. Probably not enough to qualify for a post in our "Scripting 'The Sopranos'" blog. Whether Tony lives, dies or decides to open an underground shop that sells drug paraphernalia (name: The Bada Bong), I'm not sure whether I'll be satisfied with what unfolds on HBO this Sunday. That's because, with a couple of notable exceptions, the conclusions of most TV shows disappoint. Having said that, here is a look at some of the more memorable series farewells...

By Jen Chaney  | June 5, 2007; 10:57 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (67)
Categories:  TV  
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Morning Mix: Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson Split?

Headlines: Paris Hilton "doing well" after first night in the slammer; officials describe her as a "polite and gracious" prisoner ... "Borat" star Sacha Baron Cohen and girlfriend Isla Fisher are expecting... "Criminal Minds" and "Young and Restless" hottie Shemar Moore arrested on suspicion of DUI... Lynne Spears (Brit's mom) cancels her planned appearance on "The View"... From the "just plain weird" file: Creepy knife photos of Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo from June 2006 surface.... Pam Anderson debuts as Vegas showgirl. Rumor Mill: Splitsville for Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson?...Katie is ready for baby number two...Jude Law dumped by magazine editor girlfriend.... Are Beyonce and Jay-Z engaged? We'll Always Have Paris: For more on Paris in prison, check out Bill Booth's story "Paris Hilton's Early Check-In"...

By Nancy Kerr  | June 5, 2007; 8:22 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (20)
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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Analyzing Britney

Britney says her life is "crazy and surreal." (AP Photo/Alex Brandon) Last night Paris Hilton checked into jail to begin serving her punishment for flouting the law. But I say the biggest punishment for Paris would not be jail, but to take the spotlight off her and put it on someone else. So today, let’s focus on her former friend Britney Spears and her recent letter to her fans that was posted on her Web site last week. In case you missed it, Britney basically says she’s sorry y’all but it’s not her fault. Brit blames her missteps on the tabloids, the people in her life, and ADD. What do you expect from her when her life is crazy and surreal? And, consequently, she hasn’t figured out the meaning of life yet but I’m hoping she’ll tell us when she does. Hopefully via a song and/or dance. On the...

By  | June 4, 2007; 10:13 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (25)
Categories:  Britney Spears  
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Morning Mix: Paris Checks Into Jail

Headlines: Paris Hilton attends MTV Movie Awards and then checks into jail... Beloved car sells for $500,000, Chitty Chitty Cha-Ching!... Rosie O'Donnell says her new book won't be "vindictive" or "mean-spirited", uh, suuuure.... Prince Willliam was sad about breakup (can Royals be sad?)... Elton John performs at Gorbachev dinner (do you think he sang "Mikhail in the Wind"?)... Ben Affleck speaks at graduation in Falls Church, Va... Now you can dress like an Olsen twin. Rumor Mill: The Rock rolls away from his wife... Demi Moore says no to on-screen kisses... Britney Spears to be judge on American Idol?... Posh Spice can't handle her own truth... Justin Timberlake has a Coke and a growl....

By  | June 4, 2007; 8:16 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (19)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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