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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 06/ 1/2007

Friday List: The Dream Theme

By Liz Kelly

Concept drawing of Hogwarts. (Photo courtesy Universal Studios)

As reported in this morning's Mix, Universal Studios yesterday announced plans to open a Harry Potter theme park in 2009 -- finally creating a long-overdue Mecca for rabid Potter fans. Visitors will lose themselves in a "fully immersive Harry Potter themed environment" that will include recreations of Hogwarts, Hogsmeade Village, the Forbidden Forest and offer "experiential shops and restaurants that will enable guests to sample fare from the wizarding world's best known establishments."

Not being much of a Harry Potter fan, though, I'm left cold by the thought of seing a faithful facsimile of Dumbledore's office, let alone surrendering my ducats to J.K. Rowling's sprawling empire.

Surely, we can do better by crafting a wish list of movies that deserve the theme park treatment. To get us started, I took a quick survey of a few trusted Celebritology field agents. A condensed summary of their pitches (because, trust me, once you get going it's hard to stop the brainstorm train) follows:

"Okay, not 'Life is Beautiful'..." -- Gene Weingarten, who subsequently suggested "Dr. Strangelove." Attractions would include wheelchair and warhead rides

"'Pride & Prejudice.' Have tea with people, dance in big lines and be really snide, but politely. It's the sophisticates' theme park." -- Rachel Manteuffel

"'Quadrophenia.'" -- Jenny Markley, who envisions a park where guests decide on entry whether to be a mod or a rocker, then are issued either a scooter or cafe racer. The experience culminates in a mass suicide, necessitating the need for a cliff-side location

"'Friday the 13th.' Only blonde females would survive." -- Frank Thomason

"'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.'" -- David Muhlbaum, who wisely aims his theme park at the lucrative geek market

"Star Wars." -- Lisa Todorovich, who detailed the array of experiences offered by the six movies, from the desert of Tattoine to the swamps of the Dagoba System to the Ewok infested Forest Moon of Endor. And no visit would be complete without the throw-baseballs-at-animatronic-Jar Jar Binks booth

Finally, my dream theme park...

"Airplane" -- I've always wanted to talk jive with Barbara Billingsley, sniff glue with Lloyd Bridges and tangle with an inflatable autopilot.

Share your theme park plans below...

By Liz Kelly  | June 1, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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that's not kirk douglas in airplane - you're thinking of lloyd bridges.

Posted by: charlie | June 1, 2007 10:29 AM | Report abuse

I guess a Lord of the Rings or Chronicle of Narnia theme park is a little obvious, huh?

Posted by: methinks | June 1, 2007 10:31 AM | Report abuse

OK, so they're not movies, but how about The Flinstone, The Jetsons or The Simpsons theme parks? Or Dr. Seuss? That theme park would probably have some interesting rides and characters.

For movies, I'm going with Lord of the Rings, Shrek, or maybe even Austin Powers. Or how about a Monty Python park? It could use all their movies and sketches as inspiration, and Terry Jones (or is it the other Terry from MP) has already designed tons of crazy cartoons... although some of them kind of freak me out, or may not be suitable for kids. Pirates of the Carribean is already based on a theme park ride, so it's out of the running.

The Harry Potter Theme Park idea is interesting, but I'm wondering how long it can sustain itself on just that theme... I guess they're banking on the fact that Harry Potter will be popular for the next few decades.... Will JK Rowling have to write more Harry Potter books to keep the craze alive?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Real life Itchy and Scratchy Land?
How about a Naked Gun theme park instead of Airplane? Who wouldn't like to drive mini-patrol cars anywhere? Sing like Enrico Palazzo! Stop Reggie Jackson from killing the Queen!

Posted by: dgc | June 1, 2007 10:46 AM | Report abuse

South Park! Everyone would have a chance to kill Kenny!

Posted by: KiKi | June 1, 2007 10:53 AM | Report abuse

The Wizard of Oz would definitely be a cool theme park!

Posted by: aolsen | June 1, 2007 10:57 AM | Report abuse

Fast Times at Ridgemont High Theme Park...

Who wouldn't want to hang out like they did? Great music..."tasty waves and a cool buzz" all the time...Phoebe Cates!..the coolest shopping mall EVER! Touring a morgue!

Narly...totally narly!

Posted by: Spicoli wannabe | June 1, 2007 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, these all exist. It's called Los Angeles!

Posted by: liz fan | June 1, 2007 11:06 AM | Report abuse

I think the Harry Potter Theme Park is cool...and I bet you anything this is not the last Harry Potter book...I hope many unanswered questions. Also, the movies are slightly different then the book, you get more out of the books.

Posted by: Sharon | June 1, 2007 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Hate to say it but Twister was the first movie that popped to mind. Run around chasing different kinds of storms....

And I would LOVE Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Theme.....

Posted by: JL | June 1, 2007 11:09 AM | Report abuse

A Monty Python Park would be excellent. Lunch at the Cheese Shop might be a bit disappointing, though, and the Complaints Department wouldn't be of any help.

A Reservoir Dogs theme park would be fun. As would any based on the films of Tracy Lords, Amber Lynn or Jenna Jameson.

Posted by: byoolin | June 1, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Sorry about the Kirk Douglas mistake in my "Airplane" concept. They're somewhat interchangeable, tho.

Posted by: Liz | June 1, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

My bad: Traci Lords.

Posted by: byoolin | June 1, 2007 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I like the Reservoir Dogs idea, though everyone would be required to complain when if they have to play Mr. Pink.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

I like the Reservoir Dogs idea, though everyone would be required to complain if they have to play Mr. Pink.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

I think the question lends itself to fantasy. A different questin would be, what movie would you like to live in. To me Airplane makes more sense there, because I wouldn't wait in line an hour to sniff glue with ANY old matinee idol.

That said- Labyrinth would be too cool. Translates well to a theme park, and a score of creepy androgenous actors would finally get work.

Posted by: l8yf8 | June 1, 2007 11:23 AM | Report abuse

The Mist of Avolon! Although it was a made for TV movie, a movie never the less. I would love to be apart of King Author court! Or take the boat ride through the mist into Avolon and learn it's secrets.

The Men in Black, now that would be a fun park I could go to over and over again! They would Nurolight(sp) everyone when they left and tell them to come back and I would because even if I had a horrible time, I wouldn't know it!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Basically, I have grown up alongside the Harry Potter phenomenon (I was 12 when the first book came out.) I do not love the books but I find them highly amusing. If anything can inspire kids to pick up a book and read, be it a theme park or a movie, I am all for it. Though I would freakin' love an Indiana Jones theme park!

Posted by: Mandy | June 1, 2007 11:26 AM | Report abuse

I can't believe no one else has said this: a "Lost" theme park!!

Posted by: tamerlane | June 1, 2007 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Hitchcock's Birds theme park...

Birds, no cages, people, panic, hmmm... quite a cost-saver!

Posted by: Jane E. | June 1, 2007 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Quentin Tarrantino's Grindhouse: If there one person who should have an amusement park, it's him: The Dusk Till Dawn Vampire Tavern, Kill Bill 1000 Ninja Sushi Bar, Pulp Fiction 50's Dance-off. The Death-Proof Bumper Cars,

Posted by: Lisa1 | June 1, 2007 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Re: Lost Theme Park...

Though, with the way things currently stand on the show, we'd all want to kill ourselves once we left the Lost Theme Park and would constantly be trying to get back to the Park! Not that those who run the park and put down the money would have any problem with that, but the general population would be stuck in a major timeloop issue of constantly returning to the Park.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, for sure. But only if you could drink soda and then fly!

I second the Indiana Jones idea.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:36 AM | Report abuse

The kid in me who grew up in the 80s wants a Dark Crystal theme park, and the retro hipster wants to go to the Village (from The Prisoner).

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:41 AM | Report abuse

How about the Seventh Seal Arcade. If you lose even one game, you die.

Posted by: ersatzverite | June 1, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

We need a "Spinal Tap" theme park, complete with a "backstage in Cleveland" maze, a puppet show (with top billing over the band), exploding drummers, and, of course, a miniature Stonehenge.

And all the sound systems would be turned up to 11.

Posted by: Doc | June 1, 2007 11:48 AM | Report abuse

The Village already exists--The Prisoner was shot at the Welsh resort Hotel Portmeirion in Gwynedd, on the coast of Snowdonia in North Wales.

Posted by: WA2CHI | June 1, 2007 11:53 AM | Report abuse

How about an Arrested Development Park? Or at least a model homes neighborhood Theme Park... with Staircars for the maintenance staff, the lake cabin constantly moving around on a flat bed and multiple Lucille's. And lots of jean short cut-offs. And Banana Stands!!! And Segways! The list goes on!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

But if I go to the Hotel Portmeirion I don't think giant white bubbles will chase me when I try to escape.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

If we're talking Airplane everyone would have to be called Shirley, and let's not forget the Turkish prison

Posted by: dee | June 1, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

the word is "gnarly", as in gnarled up

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I don't know if anyone has seen "On the Beach", but that would unquestionably be the single greatest theme park ever. Just imagine it: sitting on a beach...after a nuclear war...waiting for the radiation cloud that will inevitably reach you and the handful of remaining living humans on the planet. Mmmmm....

Posted by: karmadrome | June 1, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

"The Abyss" theme park - even after the owners force you to forget 28 minutes of your stay, it's still too long and makes no sense. Fighting Michael Biehn would be fun though.

Posted by: mmy | June 1, 2007 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Yes, the Arrested Development theme park would be a safehaven for Nevernudes, Cousin-on-Cousin action and men with confused relationships with their mothers.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 12:01 PM | Report abuse

I would say a "28 Weeks Later" Theme Park, but don't want to think of the consequences...

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

It's a wonderful life. You could sled down the hill, get busted for prostitution, fall in a gymnasium swimming pool, try to get your money out of a failing bank and when you try to kill yourself out of boredom, an angel in training appears to usher you out of the park.

Posted by: ep | June 1, 2007 12:02 PM | Report abuse

The themepark is for the book mostly, isn't it? They're such a huge sensation that I can't think of another movie that carries the weight. I'm 26, love the books, and would freakin love to go to this park! It's nerdy, but hey. That said, I wouldn't say no to a "300" themepark, just to be around all the superhot warrior guys.

Posted by: well.. | June 1, 2007 12:06 PM | Report abuse

"They would [neuralyze (I think)] everyone when they left and tell them to come back and I would because even if I had a horrible time, I wouldn't know it!"

If that's the business model, how about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

Come to think of it, a Charlie Kaufman-themed park might be entertaining, in a trippy sort of way. Beats one centered around Woody Allen, at least.

(Seriously, I like the Lost idea.)

Posted by: fs | June 1, 2007 12:09 PM | Report abuse

The Obvious answer is Westworld... since it would be recursive.

I was thinking 'maybe Beastmaster 2'... but then being strapped into a chair watching that repeatedly was delineated as 'coercive interrogation' under the latest Justice Dept interpretations - so a themepark devoted to it would probably be painful.

There's Robocop
A police state where mass media is used to generate manufactured consent, crime and govt corruption are rampant and interconnected at the highest levels and... oh wait... nevermind

So my real answer? It has to be a movie where the place has depth... in a parageographical sense - it has to have something about it where the 'place' has some meaning - and it has to be big or it cant be commercially sucessful (ie Mirrormask wont work) and a positive experience (ie lets not even think about schindler's list or the Last Temptation)

I'm going to go with Alien. It would be a themepark that's a giant ship... and you'd play lazertag.... really really really big lazertag... with lots of interactivity and 'events' that happen that require the people to do various things... See - that would be fun.

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | June 1, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Universal actually has a fairly cool "Men-in-Black" ride. I think you need to pay extra to be neuralyzed, though.

Posted by: RD Padouk | June 1, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

"Open Water/Jaws" waterpark: wave pools with sharks and summer swimmers. and an observation deck for bet-making.

Posted by: bored@home | June 1, 2007 12:16 PM | Report abuse

A "Calvin and Hobbes" park, or one designed around Gary Larson. Miss Wormwood and talking cows, people!

Posted by: erine | June 1, 2007 12:18 PM | Report abuse

This is kind of obscure, but I would love to see a "Dhalgren" theme park set in the fictional city of Bellona. Dhalgren is sci-fi novel published in the 1970s about a city that is partially destroyed by fire and sinks into anarchy. It's an amazing novel, and the imagery of the city is quite vivid.

This would definitely be an adult themed park though, with gangs of youths running around wearing holographic costumes, a large park inhabited by hippies, a gay friendly bar called Teddy's, and Calkin's decadent mansion with elaborate gardens.

Posted by: Mr. Ecks | June 1, 2007 12:26 PM | Report abuse

A gangster-mashup theme park might be interesting. Put together the Sopranos, the Untouchables, Miller's Crossing, the Godfather (part 1), Goodfellas, etc. A little something for everyone!

Posted by: tamerlane | June 1, 2007 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Am I stating the uber-obvious...Jurassic Park?!

Posted by: AddE | June 1, 2007 12:35 PM | Report abuse

ooohhh i would pay good money to go to the willy wonka theme park. just to see the oompa loompas and watch their little dance. and the dr. seus theme park would most definatly be cool. and yes, i am already in line for harry potter theme park tickets. i can not wait!

Posted by: melissa | June 1, 2007 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Planet of the Apes
You could choose to be an ape character yourself, but the park would be populated with them if you wanted to remain human and try to avoid captivity.

Blade Runner
just experiencing the futuristic city and vibe would be cool. Especially with the flying cars.

Gladiator (and other Roman epics)
Dressing in roman garb, chariots, armed battles, orgies with both sexes, gluttony, what a hoot!

Posted by: CJB | June 1, 2007 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Willow! I loved that move with Val Kilmore. You can slide down a mountain on a shield, have plenty of sword fights and carriage chases! Just be careful where you step!

Posted by: MLF | June 1, 2007 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Not just a Spinal Tap theme park -- an entire Christopher Guest theme park: Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best In Show, A Mighty Wind and For Your Consideration. I would love to sit in the audience for the show in Waiting for Guffman. I would watch it again and again!

Posted by: L L L | June 1, 2007 12:45 PM | Report abuse

An Open Water theme park would be very cheap and would only require one-way transportation.

Posted by: L L L | June 1, 2007 12:48 PM | Report abuse

A Napolean Dynamite theme park!!

I am a genius.

Posted by: tamerlane | June 1, 2007 12:50 PM | Report abuse

To karmadrome:

Sick, sick, sick...I love it ;)

As for my 2¢ - I'm gonna say I want a Christopher Moore world.

All the fantasy/fictional concepts and characters with fabulous, snarky, literary-reference-laced dialogue.

Really - who wouldn't want Roberto the Talking Fruit Bat sunglasses?....

Posted by: Chasmosaur | June 1, 2007 12:55 PM | Report abuse

A Band of Brothers Theme Park. In fact, let's build a theme park for EVERY war! That will get those Civil War re-enactors together in one place and get them out of Manassas. On second thought, let's just build the Civil War one it in Manassas. We could create a Da Nang, Indiana; an Auschwitz, Alaska; Seoul, South Carolina; we conveniently already have a Valley Forge, PA. And, approximately 50 years after Bush is out of office, we could build an Abu-Ghraib, Alabama and a Tehran, Tennessee.

Posted by: L L L | June 1, 2007 12:57 PM | Report abuse

believe it or not, my 19 year old daughter is reliving her childhood right this minute by watching WILLOW! we loved that movie when our kids were little.
as for a Waiting for Guffman show...what's not to love...Midnight at the Oasis? Stools? and a dance interpretation by Corky St. James!

Posted by: methinks | June 1, 2007 12:59 PM | Report abuse

my bad...corky st. clair

Posted by: methinks | June 1, 2007 1:00 PM | Report abuse

who wouldn't want to go to a Beetlejuice park!

Posted by: Mindypoo | June 1, 2007 1:32 PM | Report abuse

I know two great potential theme parks:

The Big Lebowski Theme Park which includes bowling alley, nihilists, and maybe even Jackie Treehorn.

Office Space Theme Park. You too can enjoy the fine cubicle life in this great theme park. You can sit and write TPS Reports, play Tetris, and meet with 8 bosses!

Posted by: Matt | June 1, 2007 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Actually, a theme park entirely designed by Tim Burton incorporating all his movies and his whimsically dark style would be fantastic!

Posted by: T | June 1, 2007 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Titanic. I want to be one of those people who slides down the deck as the ship is standing on end. In fact, this theme park probably really exists. Only problem is it is about people dying in massive pain and fear.

Posted by: POS | June 1, 2007 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Okay folks, here are some theme parks for yew-uns:

Playboy Mansion: Park-goers don virtual reality suits that look like silk pajamas and spend the day `socializing` with celebrities and young, firm bodies.

Beltway Death Race 2000: Park-goers drive urban assault vehicles around a virtual Betlway. The urban assault vehicles are equipped with armor and major weaponry (think 125 mm smoothbore tank cannon). The object is to get to a particular beltway exit faster than your competitors. Termination with extreme prejudice is acceptable. Contestants accrue extra points for destroying cerain types of vehicles on the way. For example: Detroying a Slow Left Lane Bandit merits 50 points. Offing a lane-chicane BMW merits 100 points. Offing the guy who is six inches off your rear gets you 125 points. Destroying an extra-large crew-cab pickup that is gunning for you merits 200 points.

Washington Post Writers Guild Pinata Park:
Park-goers are blindfolded, given a Louisville Slugger, and set on a path through the park, where various Washington Post Guild writers such as George Will, Charles Krauthammer, and Robert Novak, hang upside down, within whacking range. Successfully whacking a writer causes a shower of tootsie rolls -- symbolic of the writer's output -- to fall on the park-goer.

Weingarten's World: Park-goers don an ungly man costume, inhale helium to raise the tone of their voice, and sit a virtual lavatory where various characters come in to discuss the aesthetics of poop shame, VPL, tampons, and poetry, not necessarily in that order.

Posted by: Mister Methane | June 1, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Maybe somehow make "Lost" into a theme park?

Or one based on "Dark Crystal," maybe?

Also like the Labyrinth idea and the Tim Burton movies idea....

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Back to the future theme park. Everyone would have the chance to go through time and change something.

I, of course, would go back to a certian island and perhaps change history.

Posted by: Irish girl | June 1, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse


The problem with an Office Space Theme Park is that it is exactly like being in one's own cubicle at one's real job.

The Big Lebowksi Park is a great idea, though, Dude. That carpet really brought the Park together.

Posted by: byoolin | June 1, 2007 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Pirates of the Caribbean...oh, wait.

Posted by: got one! | June 1, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

I don't know if this could be a whole theme park, but I have always that "The Goonies" could be made into a very cool ride.

That being said I am pretty excited for the Harry Potter theme park.

Posted by: DC | June 1, 2007 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Come on folks, the ultimate movie just waiting to be made into a theme park is the Princess Bride. You could have competetive rock climbing a la american gladiators along with sword fighting and wrestling for expending the kids' energy. The fireswamp/bog place and the screaming eel boat are naturals for rides. Lunch would bring a battle of wits to see who ends up with the super sour drink. If the parents needed to drop off the kids for a while, a storming the castle free play area would surely occupy them, especially if they found the secret passeges. The list is endless.
I don't know how many people would pay to ride the torture machine, but I would sure pay to watch special celebrity torturees. Perhaps those in need of some cash flow. (Dustin Diamond anyone?)
Honestly, I am surprised this hasn't already been done.

Posted by: Free Parking | June 1, 2007 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Being John Malkovich..the Experience.

Posted by: erm | June 1, 2007 3:43 PM | Report abuse

And now for something completely different...

Monty Python Theme park... of course!

The Quest for the Holy Grail - everyone gets their own set of coconuts to bang together to simulate the sound of their horse. There's the Black Knight scene, "I'm not dead yet..", the Knights Who Say Ni!, Three Questions at the Bridge of Death, Siege of the French Castle (Cow-Flinging; Run Away!), the Rabbit and the Holy Hand Grenade...

Posted by: TonyO | June 1, 2007 3:47 PM | Report abuse

How about a theme park based on The Shining? There could be a life or death labyrinth in the snow, the blood-filled-levator-shaft ride, the being-chased-by-a possessed-jerk ride, the riding-the-bike around-the-house-and-running-into-creepy people ride, the about-to-make-out-with-a-hot-lady-NOT ride or the how-many-times-can-YOU-yell-"Danny!" ride.

Posted by: horrorgal | June 1, 2007 4:42 PM | Report abuse

I'd visit The Graduate park:

Rides would include the sensory-deprivation pool; exciting Alfa-Romeo race, the Close Shave with the Landlord show, the Spinning Tassels, and my favorite, the Mrs. Robinson.

PS -- How long would the line be at Fast Times park for the Phoebe Cates Experience?

Posted by: proxl | June 1, 2007 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Well, it's not a movie, but a Gilmore Girls Theme Park would be fun: Akin to Disney World, Stars Hollow is subdivided into Lukeland, Roryland, etc. There is a ride called Emily and Richard's Flaunted Mansion, and one of the speedy rollercoasters is aptly named Caffinated Express. Visitors will go to Luke's to see if he will serve them. They earn extra points for not being thrown out and/or getting him to crack a smile. The truly daring try to keep pace with Lorelai's rapid-fire dialogue and wit no matter where she pops up in the park, and the affluent try to outspend or invest more money than Richard and Emily on any given day. Folks are treated to culinary delights from Sookie's kitchen and Jackson's vegetable garden. Kirk provides a daily annoyance to visitors and works a new job each day in the park. Hep Alien is usually playing at one of the pavilions, Miss Patty and Babette have a variety show on the Main Stage. Paris sets up shop to study the cumalative IQ of the day's total visiting population, then gets stressed because the mean average is so low. And, no surprise, Taylor Doose overcharges for admission to the park and the occasional town festival. I'm in...I'm all in...

Posted by: Emma | June 1, 2007 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Red Dawn. Many of the actors could probably use the work.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 4:47 PM | Report abuse

Suess and Jurassic Park....while not an entire theme park, there's sections of Universal Studios in Florida dedicated to both of those. The Jurassic Park ride and the Cat in the Hat ride are both very fun.

I like the 'The Birds' idea...But even better...what about an entire themepark for Alfred Hitchcock in general? Being chased by birds in one ride, a tour through Norman Bates' house a'la Disney's The Haunted Mansion ride, rides based on North by Northwest and Vertigo.... Ahhhh, sounds like great fun to me!

Posted by: hitchcockfan | June 1, 2007 5:08 PM | Report abuse

I vote for Animal House. Beer-chugging contests with Bluto. Crazy car ride to neighboring liberal arts college. Run from the cops at the Homecoming parade. It's a no-brainer.

Posted by: musicgeek | June 1, 2007 5:09 PM | Report abuse

To Free Parking,

That's the one I want to see, The Princess Bride! It has everything including a handsome pirate who always says 'As you wish' to his significant other!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 5:17 PM | Report abuse

Mr. Methane has it about right.

Posted by: pinky | June 1, 2007 5:30 PM | Report abuse

I've been to that Animal Park Theme Park. It's called the University of Maryland. A rather expensive theme park for what you get, if you ask me.

Posted by: L L L | June 1, 2007 7:06 PM | Report abuse

Welcome to Duloc,
Such a perfect town.
Here we have some rules,.
Let us lay them down.
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine.
Duloc is a perfect place.

Please keep off of the grass.
Shine your shoes, wipe your...face.
Duloc is,
Duloc is,
Duloc is a per-fect place!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 1, 2007 8:37 PM | Report abuse

mmy commented about "The Abyss" theme park - even after the owners force you to forget 28 minutes of your stay, it's still too long and makes no sense. Fighting Michael Biehn would be fun though.

The old nuclear reactor in South Carolina where the underwater scenes were filmed is still there. You have to sneak onto Duke Energy land, but you can see what's left of the set there.

here's a link:

Posted by: Re: Abyss Theme Park | June 4, 2007 12:49 PM | Report abuse

"Open Water/Jaws" waterpark: wave pools with sharks and summer swimmers. and an observation deck for bet-making.

Posted by: bored@home | June 1, 2007 12:16 PM

Isn't that called Florida?

How about a Mel Brooks theme park... you could have an area for each of his movies, although the one for Spaceballs would kinda suck.

Posted by: b | June 4, 2007 4:11 PM | Report abuse

The Mel Brooks theme park is genius. Dine at Cesar's Palace and take in a floor show featuring Comicus the Stand-up Philosopher, Lili von Shtupp and the nuns of the Spanish Inquisition. Rides include a chariot chase with a band of Roman centurions and an interactive chess game with King Louis XVI and his court. Those seeking a more leisurely pace can stroll through the cardboard town of Rock Ridge. Admission to be paid in dimes.

Posted by: musicgeek | June 5, 2007 10:21 AM | Report abuse

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