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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 07/ 5/2007

From the Desk of Britney Spears

By Liz Kelly

The over-communicative Britney Spears. (AP)

What better way to spend a slow post-pyrotechnic workday than pondering the latest message from the disjointed mind of Britney Spears? We've had much fun at the expense of her brain droppings in the past -- translating her free-form poetry and even enlisting an expert to draw conclusions about her aberrant personality from her words and actions.

Today though, as we nurse hot dog hangovers and begin the long countdown to Labor Day, we are allowed the lazy indulgence of simple catty disbelief. As in, what the heck is this woman talking about now? As reported in this morning's Mix, Brit sent a hand-written note to paparazzi agency X17 on Tuesday, reading:

Dear X17,

I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn't get the part. I'm sorry I got a lil carried away with my role!


Spears refers to the February incident in which the then newly-bald pop princess wailed on an SUV with a golf umbrella outside Kevin Federline's house. Apparently, Brit didn't think that hitting the clubs again and shopping for another pet have done enough to keep her name in the tabloids and so resorted to sending another I'm-a-dingbat-with-no-filter missive.

Mission accomplished.

By Liz Kelly  | July 5, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Britney Spears, Celebrities  
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Next: Morning Mix: Prince William and Kate Middleton, On Again?


maybe she's working the steps?

or not.

Posted by: b | July 5, 2007 10:59 AM | Report abuse

if she's working the steps, she needs to try to do it more discreetly.

i'm beginning to really feel sorry for her and i don't like that.

Posted by: methinks | July 5, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

When I read the phrase, "From the Desk of Britney Spears," I can't help but imagine her sitting at a Fisher Price plastic desk in day-glo colors, with a gigantic yellow pencil in her hand and a butt dangling from her lips, focusing every one of those 11 brain cells on the note she's writing.

Posted by: MisterBear | July 5, 2007 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Britney is surrounded by family and friends who can't seem to say "No, Britney" or "That's not a good idea Britney". How much is she paying them to be quiet.

Posted by: Lisa1 | July 5, 2007 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Wasn't there a "The Soup" (E!) skit on "From the Desk of Britney Spears" where Britney is sitting at the desk, shoves a feeding Jayden James doll off her ("ya jus ate b'out n hour ago!"), complains how warm it is as she writes, and falls asleep as the house burns down around her.

I guess wherever she types doesn't have a spellchecker, or she gets really annoyed at all the red squiggles under words like "Incedent."

Posted by: Disposable Pet | July 5, 2007 11:26 AM | Report abuse


Posted by: Vidiot | July 5, 2007 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Britney is on the list of celebs who probaby have BO issues

Posted by: the nose | July 5, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, Liz -

Agree with Vidiot - should be "whaled", to beat or hit, N. American variation of the original English "wale", stripe or lash.

I also liked the image of Brit-Brit at the plastic kid's desk, tip of pencil in her little lips, trying to come up with something useful...

Posted by: Bogota | July 5, 2007 12:00 PM | Report abuse

brit's world is more than a little wild - i sure as hell know i wouldnt want to have to deal with all of that mess all the time.

Brit - get a handler. If you have one - get a new one... one that doesnt listen to you and forces you to do things you dont want to do, like avoid the spotlight and maybe spend a little time with your kids. Jeez. It's really not that difficult.

At this rate - she'll be on the 700 Club inside the decade.

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | July 5, 2007 12:03 PM | Report abuse

I give up! She has clearly not read the list that was compiled at this blog about what not to do and next steps to ensure that she is no longer a joke.

For the love of all that is right Brit. STEP AWAY FROM THE PIPE!

Posted by: petal | July 5, 2007 12:13 PM | Report abuse

"I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places."

WTF... swap places how, why, huh? My head hurts, Britney Spears makes my head hurt.

Posted by: come again | July 5, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Twasn't there whilest Brit "wailed on an SUV with a golf umbrella".

Perhaps she was wailing on the SUV whilest whaling on the SUV?

Posted by: SoMD | July 5, 2007 12:38 PM | Report abuse

I guess nobody will teach her how to bend down or squat like a lady (in a dress) either! (see picture #4 with the dog). UGH

Posted by: Good Lord! | July 5, 2007 1:14 PM | Report abuse

re: accompanying photo. What's with her skin? She looks terrible.

Posted by: arlington | July 5, 2007 2:23 PM | Report abuse

whoa, is that an attempt at sarcastic humor? someone, please get this gal a handler who will halt all attempts for her to share her musings/missives with the rest of the world.

Posted by: plamar1031 | July 5, 2007 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: Rx Prices | August 28, 2007 10:45 PM | Report abuse

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