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Celebritology 2.0: August 26, 2007 - September 1, 2007

Britney Spears: Comeback Kid?

Will 'Gimme More' take Britney back to where she left off, above, in 2003? (AP) Yesterday, with a few unceremonious Web links (though, oddly, not on her own official site) Britney Spears returned to the music scene with the words "It's Britney bitch," as if to say this is my crazy pantsless world and y'all just live in it. If you haven't yet heard the track, take a moment and give it a listen. Celeb blogger/music lover Perez Hilton called it "very good." "Ain't half bad," says Idolator's Maura Johnston and even MTV News "has to admit is rather good." Eh. I'm not feeling it. Maybe I'm hopelessly out of touch with over-produced bubble gum pop, but I tend to agree with post.com music guru David Malitz who gave me this on-the-spot review this morning: "Sounds kind of uninspired. It's nowhere near good enough to make people think of...

By Liz Kelly  | August 31, 2007; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (30)
 
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Morning Mix: New Britney Spears Single Released

Headlines: Britney Spears's new single, "Gimme More," drops... Spears's fried-chicken smeared Versace gown at auction for charity... Mourners mark 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death... Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg to perform "SNL" skit at Emmys... Barnes & Noble now says it will carry O.J. Simpson book... Katie Holmes tops magazine's "hot hair" list... Victoria Beckham to guest star on "Ugly Betty"... Accident-prone David Beckham out of commission for another six weeks... Larry Birkhead vs. OK! Magazine... Fair organizers ask Ted Nugent to lay off political commentary... Man pleads guilty to attempted Tom Cruise extortion... Scarlett Johansson, what are you wearing?! Rumor Mill: Former Spears manager Larry Rudolph served with subpoena in custody case... K-Fed's lawyer claims Spears makes $700K a month... Rihanna denies she's dating Shia LeBeouf... Usher and Tameka Foster to renew wedding vows (28 days after first wedding)... Heather Mills racking up Hamptons parking tickets... VH1 working...

By Liz Kelly  | August 31, 2007; 7:16 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (38)
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Creative Captioning: Chris Kattan's Racket

Another week, another mildly embarrassing B-lister photo op. This week's offering features Chris Kattan -- one-time "SNL" funnyman (Mango) and game-show host hopeful -- at a U.S. Open Kids' Day event. Surely we can do better than the AP, though, in coming up with a caption to describe this perfect storm (the miniskirt, the stripe of zinc oxide on the schnozz, the oversized tennis racket, the strained smile) of freakishness. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in Celebritology-land and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 27 - 31. (Check out last week's winning caption.) (AP) Top Five Entries: 1. "Does this skirt make my career look bigger?" -- DJ 2. "Hey, can someone take a picture of my descent into obscurity?" -- madfoot 3. Kattan whips out his own camera when...

By Liz Kelly  | August 30, 2007; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (68)
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Morning Mix: Britney Gets Cheeky in L.A.

Headlines: Britney Spears (NSFW) steps out leaving nothing to the imagination and wearing only one contact lens... Keith Richards demands apology for poor concert reviews... Amy Winehouse cancels MTV Video Music Awards performance... Owen Wilson drops out of movie... MSNBC's Tucker Carlson hits back against "gay bashing" accusations... Brad Pitt sports new tattoo -- en Francais... David Letterman to appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" next month... Ricki Lake releases childbirth documentary... El Debarge arrested on domestic violence charge, held for outstanding warrants... Bobby Brown says he lived in his car following split from Whitney Houston... Witness says Hulk Hogan's son was racing before crash... CBGB founder Hilly Kristal dies at 75... The Rock set for "Witch Mountain" remake... Celebrities pick their favorite movies for TCM. Rumor Mill: Britney's new single expected next week... Criss Angel says his relationship with Spears is all business... Lindsay Lohan busted for taking drugs...

By Liz Kelly  | August 30, 2007; 7:41 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (48)
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'Lost' Book Club: 'Watchmen'

(DC Comics) Entertainment Weekly "Lost" guru Jeff "Doc" Jensen totally called it back in February when he opined that Desmond was possessed of a set of qualities he'd seen somewhere before. And it's no surprise considering "Lost" co-creator Damon Lindelof called this graphic novel the "greatest piece of popular fiction ever produced." We're talking about Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons's "Watchmen," our next selection for the "Lost" Book Club. "Watchmen" follows the lives of a handful of all-too-human decommissioned superheroes as they navigate the murky waters of post-glory day life. Each is motivated by a deeply personal struggle and faces different challenges in a world badly in need of saving. Hidden agendas, a bumbling shadowy government and sketches of a seedy, not-too-distant future make for an oppressive, yet addictive, read. Why We Chose It: Because of the obvious "Lost" parallels: Like "Lost's" Desmond, Dr. Manhattan experiences the past, present...

By Liz Kelly  | August 29, 2007; 12:55 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (10)
Categories:  Lost  
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Morning Mix: Angelina Jolie Visits Iraq

Headlines: Angelina Jolie visits Iraqi refugee camp... Police say Owen Wilson call was an "attempted suicide"... Amy Winehouse and husband vacation in Caribbean as in-laws plead with public to shun Winehouse's work... Bridget Moynahan names son John Edward Thomas Moynahan... Reggae singer douses Lily Allen with Guinness after she grabs mike from his hand... Jennifer Lopez developing teen TV series... Backstreet Boys get hipster makeover... James Brolin (Mr. Streisand) envisions organic fast food chain... Bo Diddley in stable condition following heart attack... Anti-fur activist Chrissie Hynde threatens to sue company for using her name to promote line of leather bags... Vincent "Don Vito" Margera faces 12 felony counts of violating bail conditions... Hasselhoff ex Pamela Bach tries to halt fender-bender trial. Rumor Mill: Cruise kids spend summer at Scientology camp... Michael Lohan to visit Lindsay in rehab... Madonna to adopt second child from Malawi?... Jessica Simpson 11 hours late to...

By Liz Kelly  | August 29, 2007; 8:33 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
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Prognosticating 'Dancing With the Stars'

Update, 8.29.07: Looks like our pick for winner -- Nia Peeples -- won't get the chance to show her stuff on the dance floor. At least not this season. This morning, ABC officially announced this year's contestants: Melanie Brown, Sabrina Bryan, Helio Castroneves, Mark Cuban, Jennie Garth, Josie Maran, Cameron Mathison, Floyd Mayweather, Wayne Newton, Marie Osmond, Albert Reed and Jane Seymour. Hey, six-and-a-half (we had Sabrina Ryan) ain't bad. -------------- '90210' alumna Tori Spelling: She can dance if she wants to. (Reuters) Fake tans, big hair, glitzy outfits, hammy performances and cheesy reworked tunes -- somehow this combination of abhorrent qualities combines to form the near perfection that is "Dancing With the Stars." Against my will, I've been entertained by the last few seasons of this plucky little ABC show that pits fading stars against each other in a dance-off worthy of "West Side Story" or "Dirty Dancing." ("Nobody...

By Liz Kelly  | August 28, 2007; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (23)
Categories:  TV  
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Morning Mix: Britney Spears Parenting Skills Scrutinized

Headlines: Owen Wilson asks for privacy following hospitalization... Bill Clinton to be interviewed by Oprah... Oliver Hudson and wife welcome a baby boy... Newly shorn Paris Hilton parties with Kid Rock... Charlie Sheen says Denise Richards ruined his "quality time" with kids... Hulk Hogan's son released from hospital... Phil Spector's lead attorney leaving defense team... John Singleton cleared in fatal car accident... Former manager sues Matt LeBlanc for "Friends" pay off... "Spider-Man" fan arrested for breaking into Kirsten Dunst's hotel room... Renee Zellweger, too thin? Rumor Mill: Britney Spears cleared in dog abuse investigation, but here comes the Department of Children and Family Services... Kate Hudson dating actor/comedian Dax Shepard... Amy Winehouse leaves the U.K... Former employees say Siegfried and Roy secretly buried elephant under housing development (second item). Say What? "I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't expecting [the question]. I lost my train of thought." -- Lauren Caitlin...

By Liz Kelly  | August 28, 2007; 7:40 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (31)
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Comment Box: Tim Gunn, Preg Celebs and 'High School Musical'

Is there another season of Project Runway? I love that show, but it seems that Tim Gunn now has his own show on Bravo. -- Submitted during last week's Celebritology Live chat Yes, shooting wrapped last month and season four is set to debut on Bravo Wednesday, Oct. 24. Despite some contract wrangling, Bravo managed to secure Gunn for this season, though his participation in future seasons may not be so sure. Gunn is also now chief creative officer at Liz Claiborne and will launch his own fashion makeover show "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style" (premiering 10 p.m. on Sept. 6.). The busy D.C. native, whose father worked for J. Edgar Hoover and mother for the CIA, will also be making an appearance Sept. 30th at the Baltimore Book Festival to promote his new book "Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style." I heard that Halle Berry and...

By Liz Kelly  | August 27, 2007; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (39)
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Morning Mix: Owen Wilson Hospitalized

Headlines: George Clooney and Cameron Diaz top list of L.A.'s hottest singles... Prince Charles's wife Camilla won't attend Diana memorial service... Brangelina brood hits New York for hot dogs, art... Luciano Pavarotti released from hospital... Hulk Hogan's son in serious car crash... Director John Singleton ("Boyz N the Hood") involved in fatal car incident... Actor Austin Nichols (HBO's "John from Cincinnati") arrested for suspected DUI... Police find narcotics stash while seizing pit bulls from DMX's Arizona home... Thieves lift $13,000 handbag from Kirsten Dunst's hotel room... Judge extends ban on Anna Nicole Smith breast augmentation video... Photos: Inside Paris Hilton's new home. Rumor Mill: Owen Wilson hospitalized following rumored suicide attempt?... Britney Spears (who apparently lost the au natural look) spends the night in Criss Angel's hotel suite... Cameron Diaz and Jude Law vacationing in Hawaii?... Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger?... Amy Winehouse says she won't rehab without hubby... Newswoman...

By Liz Kelly  | August 27, 2007; 7:41 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (17)
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