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Posted at 8:17 AM ET, 08/ 7/2007

Morning Mix: Britney Hits Parked Car

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Britney Spears hits a parked car... Matt Damon tops list of Forbes.com Hollywood moneymakers... Chris Rock cleared in paternity case... Michelle Pfeiffer gets Hollywood Walk of Fame star... David and Victoria Beckham want you to smell like them... Airport officials take British singer Lily Allen's work visa... Erykah Badu, explain yourself... The Backstreet Boys are back.

Rumor Mill: Did jail sheets give Paris Hilton a rash?... Britney Spears hires Kelly Clarkson's old manager... Did Roseanne Barr really post this [so NOT safe for work] post on her myspace blog?... Tom Cruise to play Captain Pike in "Star Trek" remake?... Charlie Sheen says Denise Richards asked for DNA donation.

Say What?
"I don't know when I'm going to stop breast-feeding, I'll just keep going while I can - like, he's getting his teeth so it is a little bit scary. He's bitten me a few times! [Breast-feeding] is just obviously really convenient with my lifestyle." -- Gwen Stefani on son Kingston's feeding regimen

"Check out my Lindsay Blowhan bracelet... I'm taking it to Jacob the Jeweler to get it blinged out!" -- Tracey Morgan on his alcohol-monitoring bracelet

Bonus: Matt Damon spoofs himself in this Jimmy Kimmel re-imagining of the "Bourne Ultimatum" trailer. Possibly not safe for work, but ridiculously funny.

By Liz Kelly  | August 7, 2007; 8:17 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Morning Mix: Spears Parties Hearty With College Kid

Comments

TOM CRUISE!!!!! NO! NO! NO!!!!!! Scientology will stop at nothing to ruin sci-fi.

Posted by: michael | August 7, 2007 8:57 AM | Report abuse

Not safe for work: unless you work at a college/university or a think tank

Posted by: Henry Porter | August 7, 2007 9:44 AM | Report abuse

with the recent report on how mothers are switching to formula much to early, it's really nice to see Gwen Stefani as such a big supporter of breast feeding.

good for her, even if her story was slightly TMI.

Posted by: gwennabee | August 7, 2007 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Britney hits a parked car....again? Oh, this time it was with a car, not an umbrella. My bad.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Who, exactly, is telling Tom Cruise that he would be a great fit for every movie that's ever going to be made? He's probably still seething because Matt Damon got to be Jason Bourne and he didn't.

Posted by: tamerlane | August 7, 2007 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Did the Paris Hilton article make anyone else want to vomit?

She had to go without moisturizer? Her mother revamped a nursery with all the softest linens she could procure, including a baby blanket?

Oh my god, no wonder this girl has no accountability. Her mother is an enabling monster...

Posted by: Chasmosaur | August 7, 2007 10:10 AM | Report abuse

um... Chasmosaur, jail sheets are pretty rough. even if you weren't a person that used fancy, expensive moisturizer every day, they'd be pretty uncomfortable.

but at least she didn't have to sleep on the drunk tank metal shelves they have in some jails. that's even worse.

Posted by: HS | August 7, 2007 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Okay, what I want to know is.... Did Britney Spears leave a note for the owner of the Mercedes? If she did, could you imagine what it said? I bet it would be incoherant as all hell.

Posted by: DC Cubefarm | August 7, 2007 10:29 AM | Report abuse

DC Cubefarm: I think it said "saRRy yaw. shawn pee went drivin a gen"

Posted by: cee_jay | August 7, 2007 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Here we go again, making breast-feeding moms out to be some sort of weirdo perverts.
Give me a break, Liz.

Posted by: POS | August 7, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

So many comments, so little space:

Brit Brit: Who runs errands dressed like a $20 hooker?

Posh & Becks: Oh. My. God. Go away already

Backstreet Boys: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Paris Hilton: Jail is not supposed to be comfortable, get over it already.

Tom Cruise: I don't know what brain dead person actually told you you could act, but they were sooooooooooooooo wrong.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 11:13 AM | Report abuse

P.S. re: Brit, the space was huge, the car small...how in the hell can you not pull into that spot?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Call me crazy, but I didn't get that the Steffi Gwenfani quote was supposed to make her look like a freak. I read the little story & thought, "oh, she sounds so lovely and normal for a lady whose hair looks like Dairy Queen."

Posted by: O.L. | August 7, 2007 11:17 AM | Report abuse

hahahahahhahahahahahahaha...

im dying over here at the O.L comment above!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 11:44 AM | Report abuse

well, putting gwen stefani's quote under "say what??" denotes to me that she has said something nutty. that's what is usually under that heading. and there is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding for as long as you can/want. it's the best thing in the world for your kid (unless you are going off to college with him for feedings, in which case all bets are off). Go, gwen!!!

Posted by: wats | August 7, 2007 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Britney Spears hits a parked car

"Well, of course it was parked, silly. Have you evah tried hitting one that was moving? They're really fast and y'know, like, all over the place? Why, there was this one time, it took my momma three tries to hit one. But she zigged and zagged and she got him a good one! It was all, like, too funny."

Posted by: Helena Handbasket | August 7, 2007 12:06 PM | Report abuse

The "Bourne Ultimatum" trailer was so f*%*$g funny that I couldn't stop laughing to put my name in! Thanks Liz for posting it!

Posted by: hahahahahahahahaha | August 7, 2007 12:13 PM | Report abuse

The MSNBC article about Paris Hilton's rash and her mother's big welcome home made me LOLler. No wonder Paris is not in this world.

Boo for putting the Gwen Stefani quote under "Say what?" She hasn't said anything nutty. Maybe if a person has never had a child and just doesn't "get it", or if they are still in the 1950s and think BFing is not natural or work for a formula distributor. But I admire Gwen for being so open about nursing Kingston and talking about her life and role as a mom. She seems WAY more engaged in Kingston than Britney with either boy of TomKat with Suri.

Posted by: rockville | August 7, 2007 12:41 PM | Report abuse

In Maryland, a police officer told my neighbor that bumping a car in a parking lot and NOT leaving a note with contact info counts as hit & run (basically, hit & run is "you hit anything and don't acknowledge it"). I wonder if CA has the same law. Would love to see this end up in small claims court, esp. since the paparazzi has given visual evidence.

Posted by: rockville (again) | August 7, 2007 12:53 PM | Report abuse

i'm with you hahah... the kimmel piece was great. Damon gets points for that one.

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | August 7, 2007 12:57 PM | Report abuse

"I don't know when I'm going to stop breast-feeding, I'll just keep going while I can..."

I think this is in "Say What?" because it sort of sounds like she's going to keep breast feeding that kid until he's 18. Since it's "just obviously really convenient with my lifestyle". There's nothing wrong with breast feeding, but when the kid starts getting his adult teeth, it's time to grow up!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 12:57 PM | Report abuse

I have no doubt Gwen Stefani is a great mom, but breastfeeding past a certain age (like when they get teeth or as she said, "school gets in the way"!) is rather Oedipal to say the least of it. Being a great mom also means having healthy boundaries and letting your kids grow up. What a mama's boy that kid is going to be ... and he'll have a breast fetish something fierce.

Posted by: We get it, all right | August 7, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

I was really interested in the Star Trek update flick but not if Cruise is involved.

I think the only way I'd go see a Cruise movie now is if it involved Jon Bon Jovi & Jason Lee making out while they killed him in a messy, painful way.

And even THEN I'd still hafta think about forking over the dough.

Posted by: Bored @ home | August 7, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

I still feel so sorry for that poor little dog trainwreck Spears is carrying around like a purse ... is it just me or do those puppy-dog eyes scream "Help me! Please! Somebody!"

Posted by: Californian | August 7, 2007 1:14 PM | Report abuse

The kid is 18 months. Cut her some slack.

Posted by: o.l. | August 7, 2007 1:18 PM | Report abuse

There is nothing wrong with breast-feeding for one, two, and maybe even three years. My mom did it and I have hardly ever been sick. It is the best thing for children. GO Gwen!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Exactly o.l. The kid is 18 months. That means he should be subsisting mostly on regular food, and his milk intake should only be around 12-18 ounces a day. At that age, my child can specifically ask for what she wants, and it's weird when the kid points to the breast and asks for it.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Kingston was born in May 06, so he isn't even 18 months old yet.

And breastfeeding past "when they get teeth" is strange? Did you know the first tooth typically appears at 6 months? AAP says a mom should nurse for a year, if not longer. WHO says 2 years. When a child is breastfeeding, they are sucking, which is a different mouth action than biting. (Think of sucking your thumb.) However, playing (which is what Kingston might be doing) could definitely involve a few nips/bites and hurt.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 1:43 PM | Report abuse

For all you idiots who think that breasts are just accessories that you stuff inside of pushup bras: They were made for babies. That is why they fill up with milk naturally. 18mo olds should still be breast-feeding. And that doesn't mean it's the only thing they eat, but it should be a part of their diet. These are children, for goodness sake. It's not gross, or icky. Act like you have some common sense.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Look at Brit's kids. They were probably fetching her smokes and eating take-out KFC when they were 6 months old (like K-Fed would let anyone else near "his" breasts), while their mom hitched up her skirts and went out for a Brazilian wax and snort.

Posted by: POS | August 7, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

I think it would cool if Tom Cruise played Captain Pike in the next STAR TREK. He could just sit immobile and silent in a 23rd century wheelchair in his scab makeup, flashing "No... no... no..." over and over. It could be his best-loved role.

Posted by: Margo | August 7, 2007 2:24 PM | Report abuse

gwen should also get props for making breastfeeding part of her "lifestyle." it would probably be a lot easier to hire a nanny to feed the kid a bottle of milk by now, but she is committed to good health for her son. i hope i'm the same kind of mom (in 7 weeks!)....not that i have the 24-7 nanny option!

Posted by: wats | August 7, 2007 2:25 PM | Report abuse

ROTFLMAO @ Margo's comment! HA! Does anyone else remember that episode of STAR TREK?

That would be a good Friday list: what other STAR TREK characters would Tom Cruise be good at? I nominate Trelane.

Posted by: Brian | August 7, 2007 2:51 PM | Report abuse

I dont get it.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 3:47 PM | Report abuse

So much high feeling about breastfeeding! As long as he's getting enough calories breastfeeding isn't going to hurt either one of them. It's a way to keep her baby close, while working in a business that doesn't always seem to value that. If she keeps it up much past his second birthday, though, she may be glad for those little implants she got to play Jean Harlow in The Aviator.

Posted by: JanetK | August 7, 2007 3:51 PM | Report abuse

"he'll have a breast fetish something fierce"
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Posted by: Stick | August 7, 2007 3:54 PM | Report abuse

I nursed my kids about a year each. Did wonders for my ta-tas, and the size of my rear. And my kids are pretty darn normal, considering they're teens.
You go, Tastee Freeze Lady!

Posted by: o.l. | August 7, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

The Stefani quote is old. Kingston was 10 months old at the time of the interview. In a more recent article she said she breast fed until he was 13 months.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Regarding Gwen -- of course she's still breast feeding!! She was barely an A before she got pregnant! She (and her husband) probably love what she has now!

And to the person who was breastfed and never gets sick, neither do I and my mom never breast fed me. It works both ways. :0)

Posted by: Well, duh! | August 7, 2007 3:58 PM | Report abuse

"That would be a good Friday list: what other STAR TREK characters would Tom Cruise be good at? I nominate Trelane."

No! Don't waste a Friday list on something only a handful of people would get!!

Posted by: Eek!! | August 7, 2007 4:01 PM | Report abuse

isn't there some specific blog on the wpost where all you people can go bicker about the specifics of breastfeeding? I don't care one way or the other what your opinion is, and certainly don't want to accidentally stumble across it on celebritology.

geez, it's almost like CHE got pregnant and gave birth, and is now all high and mighty about babies...

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 4:30 PM | Report abuse

isn't there some specific blog on the wpost where all you people can go bicker about the specifics of breastfeeding? I don't care one way or the other what your opinion is, and certainly don't want to accidentally stumble across it on celebritology.

geez, it's almost like CHE got pregnant and gave birth, and is now all high and mighty about babies...

Posted by: | August 7


ummm, shut up and don't read the posts then.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 4:47 PM | Report abuse

umm ... except the point is that I WANT to read the celeb posts. I don't want to read the nazi mommy posts. there's no way to filter out one and not the other unless all of you go take your breastfeeding dogma over the mommy blog.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2007 4:49 PM | Report abuse

I'll try to 'splain why the idea of Tom Cruise playing Christopher Pike in a STAR TREK movie is so funny to us TREK geeks.

Captain Pike was the commander of the ENTERPRISE before Captain Kirk. He was played by Jeffrey Hunter in the pilot episode of STAR TREK, a show called "The Cage." That pilot was rejected by NBC. After some tweaking, they came up with the STAR TREK we all know: Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty, Uhura etc.

But they had that Jeff Hunter pilot episode sitting there... and they didn't want to waste footage... so they constructed a special two-part episode around it called "The Menagerie." One of the premises of that two-parter was that Captain Pike was injured in a space accident, and was now confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak. They did this because the producers of the show couldn't get Jeff Hunter to appear in the two-parter as Captain Pike... so... they just stuck an actor who KIND OF looked like him in a space-aged wheelchair and put this ugly makeup on him that made him look like he had a combination of palsy and black radiation burns on one side of his face. The actor had NO LINES: he just sat, immobile, in this wheelchair. The wheelchair had a little red light on the front of it. If you asked Captain Pike a question and the answer was YES, the red light would blink once. If you asked him a question and the answer was NO, the red light would blink TWICE.

Does this 'splanation make my previous comment a little more comprehensible, and also 'splain why the idea of Tom Cruise in a cameo as Captain Pike is, uh, snort giggle, somewhat ironic, o you poor non TREK geeks among us??

It'd be like Rosie playing Helen Keller.

Posted by: Margo | August 7, 2007 5:04 PM | Report abuse

hey...lighten up francis.

Posted by: methinks | August 7, 2007 5:06 PM | Report abuse

first cruise ruins war of the worlds, now they want him to add his special sauce to star trek. what's next, the godfather? cant they give him things to ruin i dont care about? let him star in a Knight Rider remake or something - or give him a comic book movie... something that fits his acting style... i dont know, ROM Space Knight? gah.

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | August 7, 2007 5:20 PM | Report abuse

This thread could only get more lively if I announced that Tom Cruise was breastfeeding a Tribble.

Posted by: Liz | August 8, 2007 8:19 AM | Report abuse

I'm still curious why a mom, celeb or otherwise, is a nazi for nursing?

Posted by: ??? | August 8, 2007 9:34 AM | Report abuse

no ... moms are nazis for whichever side they choose: whether nursing or not. apparently, it's impossible for people to make personal decisions about what's best for them and their babies without you people ripping them to shreds for their choice, only because it doesn't exactly match the choice you made for yourself and your baby. it's ridiculous. whether a mother decides to choose to breastfeed or not is not fodder for online commentary ... because it's a complicated personal decision based on medical factors to which you might not be privy, among other things.

so shut up about whether or not breastfeeding is a good idea and go back to making fun of tom cruise for having the haircut of a 12 year old boy.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 8, 2007 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Wow... Godwin's Law really is true?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_Law

...I always through it was an urban legend for the internet. The comment above proved me wrong.

Posted by: Ken | August 8, 2007 11:05 AM | Report abuse

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