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Posted at 7:44 AM ET, 08/24/2007

Morning Mix: Celebritology Crime Blotter

By Liz Kelly

Judicial Watch: In case you missed yesterday afternoon's jaw-dropping double-header -- First, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to a whopping one day in jail on "misdemeanor" charges for her two summer DUI and drug-related arrests (Video). She later released a statement saying she wants to be "healthy" again. Then, Nicole Richie gave celeb-watchers whiplash when she turned herself in to serve her own jail sentence only to emerge 82 minutes later, her debt to society paid in full. And poor Paris had to serve 21 days. Where is the justice, I ask you?

Headlines: Amy Winehouse defends husband following bloody hotel brawl... David Hasselhoff wins libel damages from tabloid... Fergie launches handbag line... Judge says Naomi Campbell's history of violence can be raised in current case... Lawyer says Mel Gibson has been following rules of his probation... Rapper Saigon ("Entourage") arrested for carrying illegal knife... "My So-Called Life" (finally) arrives on DVD.

Rumor Mill: New Britney Spears single leaked online... Spears's former manager Larry Rudolph hiding from K-Fed's lawyers... Is Brit contemplating a move to London?... Tabloid claims Angelina Jolie suffering from hepatitis... Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell dating son of former KGB spy... Lifestyles offers Enrique Iglesias $1 million to model super-small condoms (third item)... Ali Lohan crashes car after sneaking out in mom's car.

Say What?
"I was very angry when I heard he died. He knew he had prostate cancer and did nothing about it. He deserved to die." -- Jerry Lewis on the death of friend Merv Griffin (fourth item)

Chat: Quiz actor Adam Goldberg("Zodiac", "Dazed and Confused") live at 1:30 p.m. ET.

Bonus: Brad Pitt's "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" released online:

By Liz Kelly  | August 24, 2007; 7:44 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: But Wait, There's More: Nicole Richie Serves 82 Minutes in Jail
Next: TGIF: Misbehaving Star Malaise

Comments

How does Britney think moving to London will keep her from losing the boys. My understanding is if you skip the country during a custody dispute, especially if you have to have permission from the other parent to leave the STATE, she will be in a lot of trouble.

Posted by: MGC | August 24, 2007 8:35 AM | Report abuse

If Nicole's stretch in the joint is anything to go by, LiLo won't be there long enough to get a chance to try out the toilet.

Liz opined in her earlier post that she didn't think Nicole would write a prison memoir anytime soon. I would suggest Liz read darling Nikki's earlier literary effort. "The Truth About Diamonds" proves she has the ability to turn a nothing story into a couple hundred pages of nothing.

I hereby modify the prediction I made on Wednesday about Amy Winehouse: she may not live long enough to enjoy the Christmas present I was going to give her. And we won't even be able to play the Blondie song, "Die Young, Stay Pretty," when it happens.

And the single most amazing thing I learned on those Rush & Molloy links (the Iglesias and Jerry Lewis quotations): that George Rush has a masters in journalism from Columbia. I can't decide whether that's more shameful for Rush or for Columbia.

Posted by: byoolin | August 24, 2007 8:45 AM | Report abuse

"The only reason I'm with you is you're a mother to the children!'"

Brad's the mother? Now I have heard it all. Brittany's song truly blows. I heard it on Perez yesterday.

Posted by: Irish girl | August 24, 2007 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Although these new special features look great, I've had the complete series in a DVD box set for five years now. It was released in 2002. Do you all think I need a second boxed set?

Posted by: I Love Jordan Catalano | August 24, 2007 8:51 AM | Report abuse

The movie looks interesting---I love the way its filmed, i'm just wondering if the movie is like that too--or if its just the trailer...

Posted by: PC | August 24, 2007 9:02 AM | Report abuse

i'm stunned by the incredible insensitivity of jerry lewis. i've always thought he was a loud mouthed, arrogant, boob but he really put it out there with that comment. as if he has any right to pass judgment on someone. what a schmuck. (and yes, i do mean schmuck.)

Posted by: methinks | August 24, 2007 9:20 AM | Report abuse

Maybe Jerry is just getting even with Merv for all the times he asked, "What has a million legs and can't walk?"

Posted by: byoolin | August 24, 2007 9:31 AM | Report abuse

ha!

Posted by: methinks | August 24, 2007 9:40 AM | Report abuse

We seem to be forgetting that Ms. Hilton was jailed for violating her probation. The sentences for Ms. Lohan and Ms. Richie are fairly standard for driving under the influence and the assorted crimes of which they are accused. Read the metro section of a local newspaper or watch the local TV news and you'll find those folks arrested for DUI/DWI have been charged multiple times, before they're actually incarcerated.

Posted by: Heartbreak Reputation | August 24, 2007 9:51 AM | Report abuse

congrats to sjcpeach on his/her 'winning' caption. i guess now your handle for next week will be 'sjcpeach/official celebritology captionologist' or 'sjcp/occ'. either way, wear it well, you earned it.

Posted by: methinks | August 24, 2007 9:52 AM | Report abuse

I already have a DVD box set of MSCL. It was released years ago.

Posted by: Mrs. J. Catalano | August 24, 2007 9:53 AM | Report abuse

yes, it was released years ago, but almost impossible to find now.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 9:58 AM | Report abuse

"The latex company is offering Iglesias $1 million if he'll "model" their full-line of prophylatics - from the "Mega" to the "Snuggle Fit." A rep says: "It takes a real man to admit his shortcomings and if this Latin crooner can flaunt a fault and still keep [girlfriend] Anna Kournikova on his arm, other men are sure to ... take pride in what they're not packin'." A speechless Iglesias' rep had no comment."


ROFL can't....catch...my...breath...

Posted by: hahahahahaha | August 24, 2007 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Could "The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" be the longest movie title ever?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 10:11 AM | Report abuse

The Ali Lohan headline is wrong. Her boyfriend was driving his mother's car. Ali was not driving.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Ali Lohan is only 13? She looks 25 (though a very short 25). That girl looks like she has years of tabloid scandals coming her way.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Well, there's the obvious "Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D (1991)" http://imdb.com/title/tt0230575/ which is the actual longest title, but obviously done on purpose. I always like "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" http://imdb.com/title/tt0057012/ as the longest "real" movie title

Posted by: not quite | August 24, 2007 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Too much time on my hands:

"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" - 10 words, 49 letters

"Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" - 13 words, 55 letters

So, no, not the longest.

Posted by: byoolin | August 24, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse

Getting your hair washed dried and highlighted takes longer than 82 minutes. I think LA County Sheriff should get investigated. Wyatt Earp and Sheriff Quick Draw McGraw are rolling in their graves.

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 24, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse

...although "Night of the day of the dawn of the son..." is kinda catchy...

Posted by: byoolin | August 24, 2007 10:38 AM | Report abuse

Also in the category of movies with excessively long titles: "To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar." I hope this movie sucks less.

Posted by: h3 | August 24, 2007 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Paris has got to be steaming. She was dragged back to the clink while her BFFs or former BFFs got sentences that equal an unpleasant field trip. I would be pissed.

Posted by: petal | August 24, 2007 10:40 AM | Report abuse

If Paris Hilton hadn't violated her probation, she would not have spent any time in jail. I believe LiLo could spend up to 4 years in jail if she violates her probation, not sure about the other one.

Posted by: st.louis | August 24, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

not quite and byoolin

I have clearly been set straight. It is the 3rd longest movie title ever... 2nd? Well anyway, it's too damn long.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 11:18 AM | Report abuse

of course, there is a site on longest movie titles (there is a site for everything):

http://www.listology.com/content_show.cfm/content_id.11785

Though these are oddly heavy on the late 19th c. ones, so they must be pretty primative movies. "Noght of the..." is on there, however.

Posted by: LE | August 24, 2007 11:24 AM | Report abuse

"Night of the..." I meant, of course.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

no, you meant "noght of the"...don't lie.

Posted by: methinks | August 24, 2007 11:34 AM | Report abuse

oh, darn, you caught me!

Posted by: LE | August 24, 2007 11:38 AM | Report abuse

Re: long movie titles

Don't forget Borat! The actual movie title is: "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Or the great Ray Dennis Steckler creation:

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

Horrible, horrible, movie, great title.

Posted by: Bored @ home | August 24, 2007 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Scrolling down ALL the way on the Amy Winehouse story (which is just hideous) I discovered how lovely Amy USED to be. Sad.

Posted by: Alison in TN | August 24, 2007 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Hey, you guys heard Liz, didn't you?? No GD lists today! Sorry, Liz. These guys are just... *shakes her head with disappointment*

Posted by: Anonymous | August 24, 2007 1:22 PM | Report abuse

Holy cow, I don't even know where to start.

Long movie titles: what about that Hugh Grant one, "The Man Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain"? (or something...)

Bye-bye Brit, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Angelina Jolie having hepatitis wouldn't surprise me at all, with her history.

The psychotic Mr. and Mrs. Amy Winehouse deserve each other. Classic abusive relationship scenario playing out there. It is truly hard to believe the last photo in the series (taken of Amy in 2003) is the same person -- she looks fine, the hair and makeup are normal, she has meat on her bones. Unbelievable it is the same beat-up, gross, dirty, strung-out junkie we see photos of now. What a waste.

Posted by: Californian | August 24, 2007 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, I don't think anything after a colon should count in length for the long-title competition. So that knocks out Dr. Strangelove and Borat. But Night/Noght of the whatsitwhatsitwhatsit is pretty solid! The one I keep thinking of is "To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar." It's not, strictly speaking, all that long, but it was such a god-awful movie that somehow the awful title keeps coming back to me. I hated that movie. Man.

Posted by: h3 | August 24, 2007 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Is it weird (or ironic?) that every time I see Amy Winehouse's name, I automatically see it as Amy WinehoRSE? Every time...

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