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Celebritology 2.0: September 30, 2007 - October 6, 2007

Friday List: Brit-ish Humor

Britney Spears -- Death Eater? (AP) The inspiration for this week's Friday List is the post below by guest blogger (and Discussions producer) Paul Williams, who is able to take a crucial step back from the episodic hype served here daily and make lemonade from Britney Spears's life, which -- of late -- has taken on the general dimensions of a freighter full of lemons. Before one person decries this focus on Brit -- yet again -- consider this. Train wreck or not, Spears is the proud mama (okay, perhaps a bad choice of words) of a hit song. Spears's new single "Gimme More" -- the same song Brit killed with a rusty knife at the last month's Video Music Awards -- is the top downloaded song on iTunes. An anomaly, you say? Hardly. Her song is also comfortably perched at no. 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart....

By Liz Kelly  | October 5, 2007; 11:26 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Britney Spears, Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Rosie Says She Was Fired from 'View'

Headlines: Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters "fired" her from "The View"... Owen Wilson attends L.A. premiere of "Darjeeling Limited"... Britney Spears's "Gimme More" video to debut Monday... Former bodyguard files child abuse claim against Spears, who used a Starbucks run as an opportunity to publicly unravel just a bit more... America Ferrera named Hispanic Woman of the Year... Warren Beatty to receive AFI Lifetime Achievement Award... Comedy Central cancels David Spade's "Showbiz Show"... Hollywood fashion designer Anand Jon faces new rape charges... David Gest punks out... Taylor Hicks (remember him?) helps hawk Alabama condos... Tracey Gold ("Growing Pains") expecting fourth son... Blood clot removed from lung of Isaac Hanson. Rumor Mill: No post-show romance for "Rock of Love's" Bret Michaels and Jes Rickieff... Jennifer Lopez to announce pregnancy at New York concert... Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom just friends... Lindsay Lohan romancing Sonny Bono's son in rehab?... Larry Birkhead working...

By Liz Kelly  | October 5, 2007; 7:41 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Creative Captioning: When Billy Met Jack

Thanks to the American Film Institute's 40th anniversary celebration for bringing together the unlikely pair below. From the balding pates to the black blazers, these two could almost be clones if it weren't for the fact that a true genetic match would have probably resulted in both of these ghosts of Hollywood past being ridiculously talented. In any case, this mismatch makes rich fodder for this week's Creative Captioning exercise in which you tell us what's happening below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Oct. 1 - 5. C'mon, give it some thought. Submit more than one. All work and no play makes [your name here] a dull boy/girl. (AP) Top Captions: 1. You can't handle the receding hairline. -- Irish_Ed 2....

By Liz Kelly  | October 4, 2007; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (88)
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Morning Mix: Kid Rock Says Anderson Lied About Miscarriage

Headlines: Kid Rock says Pam Anderson lied about miscarriage... After failing to show up at court, Britney Spears fails to regain custody of kids... Forbes names Jennifer Aniston top-selling celeb face... Eldest member of Hanson hospitalized with chest pains... Hulk Hogan to host "American Gladiators" revival... Photographer investigated for selling underage pics of Kim Kardashian... Former "Survivor" contestant accuses Danny Bonaduce of assualt over this: Rumor Mill: Brit headed to Antigua rehab this weekend?... Lindsay Lohan leaves Utah rehab with dad Michael... Tabloid tries to supress svelte snaps of Angelina Jolie... Paris Hilton dating Swedish model (that she discovered)?... Matt Damon's wife tells him to ease up on work. Say What? "When I first joined a band, I just wanted to make some good tunes.... But I got to go meet the president, and he slaps me a high-five while I'm having a Jim Beam and Coke with Rumsfeld." --...

By Liz Kelly  | October 4, 2007; 7:57 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (28)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Highbrow: The Beehive Buzzes Again

Amy Winehouse. (AP) The Beehive: Amy Honey, How Do You Stand It? Telegraph.co.uk. One intrepid reporter gives Amy's top-heavy tangle a go (on tape) and finds it's more work than pleasure. Crucial Nugget: Winehouse's hairdresser, Alex Foden, uses furballs made from part-synthetic, part-real hair stuffed inside hairnets to pad out the singer's barnet, but top stylist Hari -- who teases the most famous tresses in London -- assures me that the same effect can be achieved with backcombing. Not That Innocent Slate.com. Can Britney Spears get her kids back? Slate's Emily Bazelon handicaps Brit's odds of tipping the scales of justice back in her favor. Crucial Nugget: K-Fed is hardly looking like the ideal long-term alternative here -- his drug use has also concerned the court in the recent past. Maybe he only looks good now because Spears looks so infuriating. Dream Role New York Magazine. Brother Jake talks...

By Liz Kelly  | October 3, 2007; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (17)
Categories:  Highbrow  
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Morning Mix: Spears Disobeyed Judge

Headlines: Lawyer: Britney Spears lost custody because she disobeyed judge... Spears now a valid California driver... Howard K. Stern files $60 million libel suit against Rita Cosby over Anna Nicole Smith book... Eva Longoria makes "sex tape" for Will Ferrell's comedy site... Brad Pitt says he's his own man; doesn't see a political career... Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali embark on gastronomic roadtrip through Spain... Soleil Moon Frye expecting second child... "Daily Show's Demetri Martin gets spin-off series... Asteroid named after "Star Trek's" George Takei... Michael Vick completes PETA animal empathy class... O.J. Simpson ordered to turn over Rolex watch, other assets to family of Ron Goldman... Naked man charged with breaking in to Nicolas Cage's home. Rumor Mill: Pam Anderson pregnant?... Is there a Spears sex tape after all?... Tory Burch and Lance Armstrong call it quits (though I thought this happened a month ago)... Melissa Rivers working at...

By Liz Kelly  | October 3, 2007; 8:27 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (29)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Bai Ling's Literary Juggernaut

Author Bai Ling in January 2006. (AP) Jenna Bush isn't the only gossip column bold-facer to give in to the writing bug. While the first daughter opted to promote her book, "Ana's Story," the old school way -- with the expected in-store appearances and the obligatory Diane Sawyer interview -- Hollywood fashion mash-up queen Bai Ling hyped her upcoming book with a refreshing shin Band-aid campaign. See, on one shin she pasted a Band-Aid and used a Sharpie to write the words "MY BOOK." On the other leg -- pay attention -- she also pasted a Band-Aid, but this time scribbled the name of her book: "NIPPLES." Genius. Doubtless, Ling's "Nipples" will soon take the literary world by storm because who can hold out in the face of this spacey multimedia tour-de-force? First, though, the book will need to actually exist. Perhaps Amazon's buyers haven't been keeping up with...

By Liz Kelly  | October 2, 2007; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (60)
Categories:  Celebrities, Hollyweird, Miscellaneous  
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Morning Mix: After Surrendering Kids, Spears Tans

Headlines: Britney Spears heads to tanning salon after handing kids over to K-Fed's bodyguard; applies for California driver's license... Sylvester Stallone witnessed Myanmar uprising aftermath... Lindsay Lohan gets another visit from dad... Angelina Jolie has taco fever... Tori Spelling as a "Love Boat" inspired Pussycat Doll... Ben Affleck says dating J.Lo was bad for his career... Hayden Panettiere dresses for dog walking... Keith Urban blames photographer for motorcycle accident. Rumor Mill: Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom?... Cameron Diaz spends cozy weekend in New York with Bradley Cooper... Will Smith to direct "Karate Kid" remake... Rolling Stone Ron Wood once took out insurance loan to fund drug habit....

By Liz Kelly  | October 2, 2007; 7:59 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (47)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Breaking News: Britney Loses Custody -- Your Take?

Spears at the Sept. 1 opening of Las Vegas nightclub LAX. (AP) The Associated Press is reporting that Britney Spears has to turn over custody of her children to Kevin Federline by Wednesday: Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled that Federline will take custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, beginning Wednesday "until further order of the court." Details are scant, but People.com reports that Gordon issued the written decision after lawyers met with him in a private session requested by Federline's lawyer. TMZ.com is reporting that Spears was again ordered to take parenting classes and submit to drug testing. No reason was included in the judge's written decision and we're obviously still waiting for more details to trickle out. Spears was spotted at Malibu eatery Taverna Tony's on Sunday with her sons. E! News Online adds that "sources familiar with the case" say Spears lost...

By Liz Kelly  | October 1, 2007; 4:33 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (41)
Categories:  Britney Spears, Celebrities  
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Britney: Just a Gum Blonde

A portrait of Spears made of chewed bubble gum titled 'Gum Blonde XLVIII' by artist Jason Kronenwald is shown at left. (Reuters) We've called Britney Spears many things here in the blog -- "bat guano," "nutty," "loopy"... even "bald" -- but "art world phenom" is an unexpected addition to her unintentional resume. One that adds a certain thoughtful irony to the sideshow of a life that Spears has managed to eke out over the last year or so. That sideshow (each chapter more gruesome and twisted than the last!) is chronicled in the new gallery show "Just Britney," an understated title that speaks volumes about our obsession with this girlie-woman gone wild. From demure teen mag cover shots to earnest paintings of what Celebritologists term "the bald phase" to a self-portrait of the latest Brit spin-off sensation Chris Crocker, it is all here in Technicolor horribleness. The show, now...

By Liz Kelly  | October 1, 2007; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (15)
Categories:  Britney Spears, Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Pam Anderson Ready to Marry Again

Headlines: Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon apply for marriage license... Jackie Chan doesn't like the "Rush Hour" movies, either... Beyonce cancels Kuala Lumpur concert after Muslim protests... George Michael says he's trying to cut back on marijuana... Watch out George Foreman, Evander Holyfield to unveil "Real Deal Grill"... Actress Lois Maxwell, Miss Moneypenny in 14 James Bond movies, dies at 80... Man in Tom Cruise extortion plot found dead... Kiefer Sutherland charged with DUI... Michelle Rodriguez accused of probation violation. Rumor Mill: Actor Ian McShane says HBO scraps plans for "Deadwood" movies... Paris Hilton vows to never appear on David Letterman show again (see video below)... Nicole Richie and Joel Madden set October wedding date?... Brady alumna Maureen McCormick (Marsha, Marsha, Marsha) says she had lesbian fling with co-star Eve Plumb (Jan)... Jessica Biel turns down "Wonder Woman" lead. Thank You: A big thanks to Kanye West who, with a...

By Liz Kelly  | October 1, 2007; 8:17 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (31)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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