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Posted at 7:51 AM ET, 09/19/2007

Morning Mix: Judge Orders Drug Testing for Britney Spears

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Britney Spears ordered to undergo random drug testing, hire parenting coach... Spears single "Gimme More" cracks into top 20... O.J. Simpson charged with 10 felonies... Simpson book gets second printing... Kanye West outpacing 50 Cent in album sales showdown... Jury split on Phil Spector murder trial verdict... Joel Madden says marriage to Nicole Richie is in his future... Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban put Nashville home on the market... Alicia Silverstone stars in PETA pro-vegetarian TV ad... Annoying "Britney Guy" may get his own TV show... White Stripes cancel remainder of '07 shows... Zsa Zsa Gabor recovering from leg surgery... "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens sued for lawyer fees... "Leave It to Beaver's" Ken Osmond (aka Eddie Haskell) sues for unpaid royalties... Tracy Morgan ordered to wear alcohol-monitoring anklet for 80 more days.

Rumor Mill: Jennifer Lopez 12 weeks pregnant?... Kathy Griffin dating Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak?... Michael Jackson makes his kids wear wigs... Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams use Celebrity Movers. Really... Housekeeper says Spice Girl Melanie Brown left baby with her while she eloped.

Say What?
"Weight is a big issue in Hollywood because I'm twice the size - height and everything else - of most of the girls who are going in to see the director for a part." -- Plus-sized "Pirates of the Caribbean" star Keira Knightley

By Liz Kelly  | September 19, 2007; 7:51 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

Ah, yes. That ginormous Keira Knightley.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 8:40 AM | Report abuse

shut up, keira knightly. just shut up.

Posted by: m | September 19, 2007 8:43 AM | Report abuse

keira knightley's quote is the sign of a textbookt anorexic.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 8:44 AM | Report abuse

Any bets on how long it will take before Britney fails a drug test?

Posted by: michael | September 19, 2007 8:48 AM | Report abuse

I must have missed that. Who else interviewed for the female lead role in Pirates? If Kiera's twice their size, casting must have come from the Sudan or Ethiopia (ie. any famined nation, not the US)

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 8:48 AM | Report abuse

How dumb is OJ Simpson? Cmon. Quantify it. OJ Simpson is as dumb as....?

Posted by: h3 | September 19, 2007 9:00 AM | Report abuse

Joel Madden is buying baby gear at Target? Not to sound snobbish, but you'd think they'd go for something a little more ... expensive/trendy/stylish/high quality.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I just watched Pride & Prejudice (2005) again last night. KK was so gorgeous when she was 15 lbs underweight, as opposed to 30! Wait, did I say that out loud, or just think it?

Posted by: I heart KK | September 19, 2007 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Re: Joel Madden is buying baby gear at Target? Not to sound snobbish, but you'd think they'd go for something a little more ... expensive/trendy/stylish/high quality.


Ew. Shut up. Babies grow. They grow quickly. There is no reason to spend thousands of dollars on clothes and baby gear that they are just going to grow out of in 6 months.

Posted by: anon | September 19, 2007 9:06 AM | Report abuse

I figure the casting guys must be looking at midgets.

Posted by: RiverCityVA | September 19, 2007 9:06 AM | Report abuse

Fine. Name another celebrity that doesn't own a $500 stroller. I bet you can't do it.
Especially one with shopping habits on par with Nicole.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 9:08 AM | Report abuse

Babies grow out of thier clothes really fast. Good for Joel- a practical rock star.

Kiera- really? Twice the size? Who is she auditioning against? Skeletons?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 9:26 AM | Report abuse

Kiera is not just "twice the size of most of the girls who are going in to see the director for the part"... that's "height and everything."

Glad she clarified that. We now know that the next big trend in Hollywood will be the return of movies starring dwarves.

Posted by: Margo | September 19, 2007 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Wow. I used to think the hype around Keira Knightley was like the hype around Callista Flockhart. Young woman blessed with fabulously fast metabolism and tiny frame gets in the public eye, and everyone thinks she's anorexic. (I have a friend who bears a striking resemblance to Flockhart, and she has a very healthy relationship with food and is aware of how tiny she is.)

Now I have to wonder - if Ms. Knightley thinks she's twice the size of everyone else out there (she's 5'7" - not unusually tall) what her perception of her body actually is.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | September 19, 2007 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Re: Joel Madden is buying baby gear at Target? Not to sound snobbish, but you'd think they'd go for something a little more ... expensive/trendy/stylish/high quality.

Clearly you sound snobbish. Just because Target is primarily a discount retailer does not mean they do not sell items that are expensive/trendy/stylish/high quality. Obviously not as expensive/trendy/stylish as any Rodeo Drive boutique, but c'mon do you really think a $100 onsie is automatically better quality that a 3 pack for $10?

Posted by: HUH?? | September 19, 2007 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Twice the size??!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 9:41 AM | Report abuse

I doubt Keira Knightley weighs 100 pounds. Saying that she's twice as big as other actresses points to a seriously confused body image. I understand that some women in her family have histories of anorexia. I hope they've recovered enough to pull her aside and tell her that she's headed down a potentially fatal path.

Posted by: JanetK | September 19, 2007 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Ok, does anyone watch Kathy Griffin's Emmy winning show? This spring she was dating to get her picture in the tabloids.

On the other hand, if they really are engaged at least she won't have to worry about this one stealing from her!

Posted by: JES | September 19, 2007 9:44 AM | Report abuse

OMG, Nicole needs a celebrity baby-shower ASAP. Her so-called friends have abandoned her that she has to shop at Target for baby gear. How can she ever go back Mr. Chow's?

Posted by: Lisa1 | September 19, 2007 9:48 AM | Report abuse

michael,
I suspect Brit will fail the test on the first try. Let me tell you why. She won't realize that she should be trying to flush them out of her system so, she's going to try to get all the drugs she can before the testing starts.

Keira, sweetie what's going on? Who are you twice the size of? Unless that chick from the O.C. goes for a reading before you, this statement makes no sense.

Posted by: petal | September 19, 2007 9:48 AM | Report abuse

What is up w/the L.A. prosecutors and their complete inability to effectively try a high profile case?

Posted by: JES | September 19, 2007 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Brit will be lucky if she makes it past the first drug test unless she gets some help.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Keira is three or four times the size of up-an-comer, Suri Cruise.

Posted by: Mina | September 19, 2007 10:20 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone see The Soup with Seth Green doing the "Britney Guy" Hilarious.

What's wrong with Target? It's better than WalMart.

And if Keira Knightly is considered "plus sized" I guess I should be concern because that would make me grossly obese.

Posted by: st. louis | September 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Report abuse

My goodness, a young starlet prone to exaggeration. I don't think we've seen that one before. Geez, lay off Keira, she's just using the same expressions that anyone her age would.

Posted by: 23112 | September 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Report abuse

(Satirical) Headline: Spears Found Dead in Home of Drug Overdose

(Equally satirical) Note discovered near the body: "I thot the judge ment he wonted me 2 test lotz of drugz."

Posted by: MisterBear | September 19, 2007 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Very good Mina! There's a name we haven't seen in a few weeks/months!

I would also like to express sympathy for 9:00 (w/o name) and the Target comment. I think what s/he meant is that while WE shop at Target, it would seem like THEY would go for the $1000 designer-name gold-studded dry-clean-only onsie without even thinking about it. After all, it *might* seem that Nichole has made a number of incredibly dumb decisions before this. Whoda thunk she'd begin to be smart NOW?

But this might be a good sign. Dad at least seems to know what a budget is, and perhaps even how to live within it.

Posted by: Bogota | September 19, 2007 10:28 AM | Report abuse

I love that Joel went to Target to get baby things. Why not?

Will baby Richie/Madden grow up a better person for having spent babyhood playing in a $4,000 diamond-encrusted, monogrammed playpen on spinners? Nah.

Posted by: Anonimis | September 19, 2007 10:29 AM | Report abuse

"Did anyone see The Soup with Seth Green doing the "Britney Guy" Hilarious."

Absolutely. And afterwards, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to check for leakage.

Posted by: Anonimis | September 19, 2007 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else see that Britney earns $700,000 a month? Why? How? And maybe that's just the root of the problem.
BTW, I think Angie and Brad shop at Target.

Posted by: POS | September 19, 2007 10:34 AM | Report abuse

I'm not gonna lie, I miss byoolin and methinks

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:35 AM | Report abuse

What? Are they on strike?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse

I miss root canals and I already mourn the days we'll have a Bush-free Presidency

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:39 AM | Report abuse

man, is it me, or is this place is becoming the achenblog...?

will wozniak do kathy's hair?

Posted by: not bluto | September 19, 2007 10:41 AM | Report abuse

I think after yesterday and the many, many, many byoolins and methinks, they are probably lying low.

Posted by: st. louis | September 19, 2007 10:41 AM | Report abuse

Finally, an actress speaking some sense. Kiera Knightley has been getting hotter with each role. She's so fat and gross in her early films, but now she's hot. Yowza!

Posted by: HS | September 19, 2007 10:45 AM | Report abuse

I don't think this becomes Achenblog until we come up with really lame nicknames for everything, plus have a meet-up. But maybe this has already happened--I'm a loyal reader of C'gy, but not a regular in the "boodle" [shudder].

Posted by: not byoolin, metinks, bluto, or weingarten | September 19, 2007 10:48 AM | Report abuse

From that Keira Knightley article: "...I am, at my size, one of the largest actresses there..." She seems like a sweet kid (if a bit of a dim bulb)--but she needs to stay far, far away from reporters.

As an aside, has anyone else noticed that KK ALWAYS has her mouth open in her photographs?

Posted by: tamerlane | September 19, 2007 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Duh, haven't you heard of the sexy blow-up actress look?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!! I drove the scurvy scoundrels byoolin and methinks into the briny sea. They be restin' at Davy Jones' Locker! ARRRRRRR!!!!!

Posted by: Pompous Magnus | September 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

tamerlane: maybe she's a "mouth breather." With her weight, probable eating disorder and distorted self-image, maybe she has difficult breathing through her nose?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 10:57 AM | Report abuse

And a gold star to PM for recognizing "Talk Like a Pirate" Day.

Posted by: Liz | September 19, 2007 10:58 AM | Report abuse

1. The worst thing about random drug testing is that you never know which drug they're going to test you for.

2. Divorce from Nicole Richie is also in Joel Madden's future. Rumour is that Joel is already "Cha-ching!"-ing in his sleep.

3. Biggest drawbacks to using Celebrity Movers: Screech has a bad habit of breaking your lamps and Danny Bonaduce won't lift anything heavier than 5 lbs.

4. Nice job, Liz, putting the words "Vanessa Hudgens" and "Beaver" so close together.

5. If they ever make a movie of it, Keira Knightley would be perfect as Stick Insect, the girlfriend of Adrian Mole's father.

Posted by: byoolin | September 19, 2007 10:59 AM | Report abuse

i bet byoolin wears pleats.

Posted by: not bluto | September 19, 2007 11:08 AM | Report abuse

he's baaaaaaaack.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 11:08 AM | Report abuse

ARRRR!!! A thousand cheers for the lovely lass that's Liz!

As fer me mate, byoolin, the pleats show of his most precious booty!!! ARRRRR!!!

Posted by: Pompous Magnus | September 19, 2007 11:12 AM | Report abuse

what is with the pirate voice? or is that a tribute to keira i'm-a-big-girl-now knightly?

Posted by: methinks | September 19, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

I feel so ashamed that I forgot it was International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Yarrr, I be sad...

Posted by: michael | September 19, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Maybe next time KK opens her mouth, someone should stuff some food in her gullet before there's a chance for any words to come out...

Posted by: no one | September 19, 2007 11:21 AM | Report abuse

I be thankin' ye, Pompous, fer the fine job ye've done o' remindin' us dirrrty hordes tha' it's a mighty piratin' day.

Arrgghhh. Shiver me timbers & make me walk the plank fer fergettin'

Posted by: m.a.t. | September 19, 2007 11:27 AM | Report abuse

I believe what Pomp. Mag. meant was "AAIIIEEEE!!!!!" as opposed to "ARRRRR!!!"

Shiver me timberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs. Hoist the mains'l! Fold the pleats! Is that a cannon in yer scurvy pocket, orrrr arrrrrre ye happy to see me?

Posted by: byoolin | September 19, 2007 11:29 AM | Report abuse

These Nicole options:
Marry Joel, shop at Target, live on a budget (because Good Charlotte only had one decent album), and occasionally babysitter
or

Be a hot single mom with a closet full of fabulous designer clothes paid by Grandpa Lionel, full-time nanny(paid by Grandpa Lionel) so she can maintain active social life, a new boyfriend who is a major upgrade from Joel and his tats.

Posted by: Lisa1 | September 19, 2007 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Keira AND Jessica Simpson always have thier mouths open. It's so disturbing.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Maybe they're breatharians caught in the act of feeding.

Posted by: byoolin | September 19, 2007 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Well as long as it's Talk Like A Pirate day...

So this pirate goes into a bar and he's got a steering wheel down the front of his pants. And the bartender says "Did you know you have a steering wheel stuck down your pants?" And the pirate says "Ayyyyyyy, arrrrrr, matey, and it's drivin' me nuts!"

Posted by: Margo | September 19, 2007 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Of course Joel shops @ Target, he's from Waldorf!

Not dissing Waldorf, just sayin' it ain't exactly Beverly Hills.

Eddie Haskell is on the warpath & has lawyers!!! Actually I always pictured Eddie growing up to be a lawyer, one of those TV ad ambulance chasers. Either that or a slimy used, car salesman that dressed like Herb Tarlek.

Posted by: Bored @ work | September 19, 2007 12:32 PM | Report abuse

"Maybe next time KK opens her mouth, someone should stuff some food in her gullet before there's a chance for any words to come out..."

LMAO!!!!

Keira the Delusional, twice the size of a piece of paper ...

Posted by: Californian | September 19, 2007 12:34 PM | Report abuse

Does anyone else think Fred Goldman is money hungry?

Posted by: Lulu | September 19, 2007 1:29 PM | Report abuse

I saw Kathy Griffin at the Kennedy Center last night and she talked about her date with Steve for a little while. It sounded like just a one time thing, but she said he was great, in a computer nerd kind of way and she used him to fend off all the conservative reporters on the red carpet. She had him answer all the questions about Jesus that she got and he would go into super statistical and logical mode and tear down the reporters. Was pretty funny.

Posted by: Rob | September 19, 2007 1:33 PM | Report abuse

ARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! Margo stole me joke!

Posted by: Pompous Magnus | September 19, 2007 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Britney went out drinking and clubbing LAST NIGHT, no doubt to celebrate the court's smack down of her. What an idiot.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 1:42 PM | Report abuse

Margo,

Hahahhhhhhhhhhhh lmao. I've got to use that. Arrrrrrrrgg or Aiiiiiiiiiieee which ever applies.

Regarding Britney, miss belle(who I don't think has posted in a while) proposed that Brit Brit might not want to be a young hot mom anymore and so she is trying to get the tots taken from her. If she did party last night it makes sense.

Posted by: petal | September 19, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

If that's the case, she should turn those kids over to a third party, K-Fed doesn't want them either, he just wants the child support that comes with it. Neither one has shown that they are good parents.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

im mad at you for saying Chris Crocker is annoying. the man is hilarious. Queen of Ghetto?? Keep it cute, or put it on mute? Come on!!!

Posted by: dolly72 | September 19, 2007 6:02 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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