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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 10/ 2/2007

Bai Ling's Literary Juggernaut

By Liz Kelly

Author Bai Ling in January 2006. (AP)

Jenna Bush isn't the only gossip column bold-facer to give in to the writing bug. While the first daughter opted to promote her book, "Ana's Story," the old school way -- with the expected in-store appearances and the obligatory Diane Sawyer interview -- Hollywood fashion mash-up queen Bai Ling hyped her upcoming book with a refreshing shin Band-aid campaign. See, on one shin she pasted a Band-Aid and used a Sharpie to write the words "MY BOOK." On the other leg -- pay attention -- she also pasted a Band-Aid, but this time scribbled the name of her book: "NIPPLES." Genius.

Doubtless, Ling's "Nipples" will soon take the literary world by storm because who can hold out in the face of this spacey multimedia tour-de-force? First, though, the book will need to actually exist. Perhaps Amazon's buyers haven't been keeping up with Ling's shins, but none of the major online booksellers seem to be aware of the book's impending greatness. (A Barnes & Noble search on "Bai Ling" returns several titles about bail bonds).

In fact, the few instances where Ling talks about her book have me wondering if even she knows what it is about. In February she said she was almost done penning a novel about her three years in the People's Liberation Army:

"I don't know but I think the title of the book is going to be controversial," said Ling. "It's going to be called, Sex in Tibet."

Then, in July, she gave this interview in which she said her book was about how she sees the world:

"Many dimensions. Reality world, dream world, fantasy world and film world -- all tangled together and beautiful."

(In the same interview, Ling also said she was from the moon. And I believe her.)

She also told TMZ.com that her book would be published by HarperCollins (coincidentally, Jenna Bush's publisher!) and was tentatively titled "My Life as a Crazy Movie Star."

That may be news to HarperCollins, though. One representative, who I spoke to by phone this morning, could find no record of an impending book or a deal with anyone named "Ling."

I hope this is sorted out in time for holiday shopping.

By Liz Kelly  | October 2, 2007; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Hollyweird, Miscellaneous  
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Comments

seriously...who is she? does she DO something? or does she just appear on the red carpet? i have never heard of her.

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Bai Ling, Byoolin. Both two syllables, first syllable beginning with 'b', second with 'l'. Both very similar phonetically. Both people in real life have prominent nipples, known for excessive public appearances and inflated egos, and neither not especially known for contributing to society in any meaningful way.

Bai Ling: my long lost sister!

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 10:55 AM | Report abuse

i guess byoolin's post answers all my questions.
thanks.

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Wait, Liz. Maybe the book is being written by Bai Ling's sister Ling-Ling the panda.
I hear pandas have a lot of sexual issues and the Chinese make them watch panda porn to get baby pandas. That could be it.

Posted by: POS | October 2, 2007 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Leave my nipples out of this, fake byoolin.

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Yes, I'd like to second (third, fifth) the confusion about who Bai Ling is. All I know about her is that TMZ also refers to her as a chicken dancer. Which, really, doesn't help me.

Posted by: h3 | October 2, 2007 11:29 AM | Report abuse

byoolin 10:55 and byoolin 11:15 are both fake. Gotta hand to the fake byoolin(s), playing both sides of the fence keeps it confusing. There's only one real byoolin, and it's obvious when I post.

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 11:33 AM | Report abuse

sorry, byoolin, it's not so obvious. your impersonator is rather good at confusing things. he even had me fooled.

P.S. your handle has three syllables, no?

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Bai Ling, a movie star? Funny, I thought her purpose in life was just to skank it up wherever she is.

Jenna Bush looks so much like her dad, poor thing. Why do I think this "engagement"/"marriage" is a PR stunt to help her dad, who can't get his approval ratings up with a crowbar? It all just looks so sterile and scripted, and those two young 'uns are stiffer than a starched WASP's shirt.

Posted by: Californian | October 2, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone watch Jenna's 20/20 interview and find themselves liking her despite all attempts not to? I think that was the point, to cast a most positive image on Bush, by proxy. Diane Sawyer certainly did her part, cow-towing to the first daughter. Sawyer was walking on egg-shells around this girl, but still Jenna seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. I hate to admit it, but I was impressed by her.

Posted by: Mina | October 2, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Careful with that handle, methinks. It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye. Lol

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 2, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Oh my word......what the...... Nipples that's her book? Nipples? And I ask you how controversial is sex in Tibet?

I feared Hollywood had run out of crazies to fill the ample shoes of LiLo(seemingly reformed) and Brit but I think Bai Ling has got a solid shot at carrying the torch.

Also, when did she become a movie star? I can only recall seeing her on Lost and wearing many wrong things on the red carpet. props to SnC.

Posted by: petal | October 2, 2007 12:22 PM | Report abuse

"Also, when did she become a movie star? I can only recall seeing her on Lost and wearing many wrong things on the red carpet. props to SnC."

Wasn't that her in Babel?

Oh, and sex is not controversial in Tibet. It is there that we find the origins of karma sutra (bow-chicka-bow-wow).

Posted by: Anonymous | October 2, 2007 12:25 PM | Report abuse

I seem to recall that she (Bai Ling, not Jenna) was on some reality show that involved singing. Badly, in her case. I will admit that her breasts look pretty darn perfect in that 2006 photo.

As for the Bushette, every time I see her all I can see is her father's face. Which just makes me angry.

Posted by: arlington | October 2, 2007 12:27 PM | Report abuse

In the few on-camera moments I've seen with the Bush twins, Barbara comes off as the cool, classy and sophisticated one; Jenna seems much more like the dim-witted sorority princess. So in that respect I guess Jenna seems much more like dear ol' dad.

Posted by: Libidinous Johnson | October 2, 2007 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Actually Bai Ling has quite the resume according to IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000499/

Posted by: jake e. poo | October 2, 2007 12:40 PM | Report abuse

hi niceFLguy,
real, original methinks here. i didn't write that comment about byoolin at 12:08.
annoying isn't it?

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

very, methinks.

This is starting to feel like an echo chamber. How many commenters are real? How many comments are from one person under many names?

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 2, 2007 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Wouldn't it be funny, though, if methinks is actually Liz and byoolin is Gene, playing with our heads? Makes you wonder...

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 2, 2007 12:51 PM | Report abuse

i'm considering changing my name to spartacus. then when someone took over, they could say, "I am Spartacus," then someone else could say, "No, I am Spartacus," etc. which sounds way cooler than, I am methinks."

by the way, don't you just love this line from liz's original post.
"That may be news to HarperCollins, though. One representative, who I spoke to by phone this morning, could find no record of an impending book or a deal with anyone named "Ling."
i just love the image of some harpercollins rep sorting through the names of authors and not coming up w/a single 'ling.'

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 1:03 PM | Report abuse

11.15 byoolin was real.
11.33 was not.
Three syllables.

Posted by: byoolin (the real one) | October 2, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

What in holy hell is a bai ling? And, why should we care? She sounds like just another run of the mill skanky moonbat.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000499/

Oh yeah - I recognize ALL those movies. Smash box office hits, I'm sure.

HUH?

Posted by: mespeaks | October 2, 2007 1:14 PM | Report abuse

What if Spartacus had a Piper Cub?

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 1:15 PM | Report abuse

methinks... sad to say, but 12:48 pm and 12:51 pm were not my efforts. You've been corresponding with the imposter.

Imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, but mimicry and impersonation are just unimaginative and boring.

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 2, 2007 1:17 PM | Report abuse

well, to this point, Jenna's only claim to fame are her arrests for underage drinking and her top coming off while dancing with her father... wait a minute... maybe she should have titled her book 'nipples'...

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 2, 2007 1:23 PM | Report abuse

i'm sure this will be an unpopular viewpoint on an oft-times cynical blog but so what if jenna's only claims to fame are her dui arrests and the top of her dress slipping? isn't it refreshing to see a young woman do something for others with the bully pulpit she has access to? she's not taking royalties from the book, a portion of the proceeds are going to a fund for ana's education. she lived and worked in central america. she teaches school. i don't know what people want from her. fortunately she doesn't seem to care what other people think as she realizes she'll never please everyone.
i put her in the same category as someone like angelina jolie who for all the good works she does, will never get the respect she deserves. maybe with good reason. i'm not going to be the judge.
but if we're going to harp about people like britney and bai 'whothehellissshe' ling and wonder what they've done, what they've accomplished, etc. ad infinatum, ad nauseum, then can we give a young woman credit for changing her life and doing some good?
*methinks steps carefully off the soapbox and tiptoes out of the room*

Posted by: methinks | October 2, 2007 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Love how everyone is taking their feelings about the father out on the kid. How grown up of you. Jenna worked as a teacher, then went and worked in El Salvador where she met the woman who became the basis for the main character of her book. Then she wrote the book in order to educate people about the realities of AIDS in Latin America. Yeah, she is a really terrible person who should be hated just because of who is her papa.

Posted by: ep | October 2, 2007 1:35 PM | Report abuse

"Love how everyone is taking their feelings about the father out on the kid."

Good point, ep. People shouldn't treat kids badly, simply because they have no respect for the kids' parents.

So with that in mind, let's everyone badmouth ep's father for the way we feel about ep. LOL

Posted by: MisterBear | October 2, 2007 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Well, ep, she is well-intention and surprisingly well-balanced. Like I said before, I was impressed with her during that interview with Diane Sawyer.

But I can see why some people find her annoying. She really is clueless about how to relate to the people she is helping. The point is, she was really trying to empathize, even if she couldn't relate, her privileged life having left her handicapped in that capacity. That is why I was impressed by Jenna.

Still, she's probably wholey unware of how the policies made and supported by her own father and his party have a lot to do with the problems of third-world countries or that the abstinence-education (to the exclusion of safe sex education) encouraged here and abroad by conservatives, certainly contribute to the spread of AIDS and other STDs nationally and internationally. She's blissfully unaware and that is why she can feel good about what she's doing in Jamaica and Latin America. It's annoying if you look at it that way, but it's okay; she seems like a well-intentioned kid, doing her small part to help out. OR she is just trying to help her daddy's poll numbers. But I'll go with option A, so as not to appear cynical.

Posted by: Mina | October 2, 2007 1:55 PM | Report abuse

I think Bai Ling messed up her bandaid message. Did she mean "Book" & "My Nipples"?

Posted by: typo? | October 2, 2007 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Do you think we'll still be catching glimpses of Bai Ling's nipples when she gets to be Joan River's age? ...God, I hope so.

Posted by: byoolin (the real one) | October 2, 2007 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Ha!

That's better. Still not perfect, but better.

If anyone cares which byoolin posts are really real and which aren't, check out byoolin's blog.

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 2:16 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, I shouldn't care, but I think I might actually check it out.

Posted by: Anonimis | October 2, 2007 2:18 PM | Report abuse

I, for one, don't care. Thanks for plugging your blog, byoolin. Maybe the fake byoolin is onto something?

Posted by: Anonymous | October 2, 2007 2:22 PM | Report abuse

2:18 was not me.

Posted by: Anonimis (the real one) | October 2, 2007 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Mom, is that you?

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 2, 2007 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Finally, the time has come for me to unburden myself. I must confess that I was the first to usurp byoolin's title, but since my first stint of tomfoolery a mere 3 or 4 weeks ago, I have ceased my antics. It seems, unfortunately, others have picked up where I left off. My apologies, sir, for starting all of the confusion. I ask that the rest of you stop now. It is getting becoming cumbersome and, actually, rather trite.

Posted by: (a contrite) Quintilus Varus | October 2, 2007 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Umm...I pride myself in being a celebritologist, but I must confess I've never heard of this woman and I'm very unclear as to what it is she does. She looks even less interesting than Paris Hilton (and that's saying something).

Posted by: Oaktown357 | October 2, 2007 2:41 PM | Report abuse

lol... i love it... now i have my own impersonator!!!!

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 2, 2007 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Wow, she just continues on her tradition of being, well, horrible.

I still cant' figure out how the Lost people thought it was a good idea to put her in one of the shows - in my opinion, that was by far the worst episode so far.

Hey, speaking of Lost, anyone else catch that awesome reference to it in Monday's "Chuck"? I knew I loved that show.

Posted by: YO | October 2, 2007 3:01 PM | Report abuse

now - as to Methinks and the issue of 'Jenna's trying to do good'... you're right. I actually had a conversation about this very topic when i found out Jenna was coming to Book People to sign books here in austin, and thought 'well, you really cant hold her to account for the actions of her father and grandfather...' - but when you go back through the father and grandfather and great grandfather... you do tend to end up wondering what sort of cloud runs through that family. Now all that said - she STILL is known primarily for her underage drinking and clothing malfunction... and the only thing that puts her into the venn diagram covered by this blog is her relation to those elderly gentlemen past - so bringing them to bear on the conversation does seem to be somewhat appropriate. The book is great - in and of itself -- so good for her. When I see her doing it after W is out of office and there's no political hay to be made, then i'll drop the cynicism...

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 2, 2007 3:02 PM | Report abuse

I remember a time when men were men, women were women, methinks was methinks and byoolin was byoolin. I do not like this new world we live in.

Posted by: not me | October 2, 2007 3:22 PM | Report abuse

We live in confusing times, with commenters usurping each others' names and quality brands you can trust being dirtied by imposters. For the reason, I ask you all to visit the one and ONLY website that REALLY matters:
http://byoolin.livejournal.com
...with your host, me, the ONE, ONLY, and REAL byoolin!

read my journal, be amused at my fine wit and vast intelligence. or go to hell. dammit!

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Whoa! if you're byoolin, and I'm byoolin, and Quint is also byoolin, then together we must be TEAM BYOOLIN?!

We should really have a Byoolin Day Parade over in Reston. we can have a giant inflatable byoolin (1/16th scale) float down Reston Parkway, and hand out Bon Mots to the kids?

Posted by: Team Byoolin | October 2, 2007 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Now wait a second: I make no claim that my website is "the only one that matters" or even that it matters at all. If it weren't for the law of the conservation of mass, I'd probably shut down my blog as a waste of electrons.

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Team Byoolin, great idea, but those of us that know the real byoolin, knows he lives in Canada...eh.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 2, 2007 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Quintilius Varus, its nice to see another Austinite here.

On the subject of Jenna, going to school with the girl made me wonder how she could ever get by in the world without her daddy. I am glad she is trying to do something to help others. If she could pass along some lesson to her father it would be even better.

I seem to recall that Bai Ling was in an episode of Angel. I think her role was mostly to stand around in skimpy outfits.

Posted by: michael | October 2, 2007 3:47 PM | Report abuse

A "1/16th scale" byoolin that is also "giant"? That could cause problems if you're holding the parade so close to Dulles.

Just how *did* you describe me to the identi-kit artist?


Posted by: byoolin kong | October 2, 2007 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Exactly how many Austinites are on here? With at least 3 of us, we need more Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey coverage. And SxSW better get heavily covered.

Posted by: ep | October 2, 2007 4:06 PM | Report abuse

This is a shame. I come here to enjoy Celebritology, the Lost discussions, and the Celebutard-of-the-Week with Liz Kelly. *usually* the comments are pretty good too. Do I have to read through a half-dozen comments by byoolin and his friends protesting who's who? Honestly, I don't care. Very honestly, some of the fake byoolins are most amusing than the original. Can we just get on with discussing Bai Ling and not Byoo Lin?

Posted by: bogota | October 2, 2007 4:23 PM | Report abuse

guess what?! Che is posting over the The Fix blog comment area--we have not lost our beloved che, everyone! Nuttiness abounds.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 2, 2007 4:35 PM | Report abuse

YO - I caught that, too! Totally made me chuckle. First I thought it was going to be some sort of cross-program clue, but then I realized Chuck is on NBC... like they're just trying to play with our heads :) ... or maybe I just get too into it.

Posted by: Alyeska | October 2, 2007 5:00 PM | Report abuse

Off topic here, come back people, FOCUS! There have been two comments that weren't about me, mentioning me, or posted by me. This is simply unacceptable!

For those joining the discussion late, read my blog:
http://byoolin.livejournal.com

For those unfamiliar with byoolinâ„¢ or the "byoolin experience"â„¢, please take a moment to read my blog, let it all sink in, and then read my comments on Celebritology with Methinks and Byoolin.

Posted by: byoolin | October 2, 2007 5:11 PM | Report abuse

"going to school with the girl made me wonder how she could ever get by in the world without her daddy"

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh? Certainly Jenna's daddy would never have gotten where he is without HIS daddy ... that family's gene pool sure needs some chlorine.

Posted by: Californian | October 2, 2007 5:20 PM | Report abuse

Kind of make one wonders that if her name was Jenna Smith would she be able to get a book published. I haven't read any reviews yet, so it MIGHT be good, but somehow I don't think so.

Posted by: jake e. poo | October 2, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

sorry my evil twin but i think i'll pass on jenna... sure, she's cute in that healthy texas girl sorta way, but she's awful young for me. Not a bad troll though... next time post an incensed response on my part and have a good argument with yourself... that's the best way to play this sort of game.

as for the blog software - liz - this thing needs work anyway. i mean, i havent seen a lot of doubleposts like we used to get, but it's still rather archaic considering the other options out there.

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 2, 2007 6:10 PM | Report abuse

I hear you Quint. We're working on getting this thing upgraded.

Posted by: Liz | October 2, 2007 6:20 PM | Report abuse

FYI - iTunes has a free excerpt of Jenna's book in the "Free on iTunes" section. If anyone is actually interested in reading it.

Posted by: jake e. poo | October 2, 2007 7:59 PM | Report abuse

I don't understand why the Post can't set up a system where folks have to register, there by eliminating all these fake-a$$ busters. These imposter clowns are a total distraction from the celeb work at hand.

Posted by: Oaktown357 | October 2, 2007 11:13 PM | Report abuse

Frankly, the impostors aren't as distracting as the people protesting the impostors. Byoolin, you're funny and all, but I don't really give a crap if an individual comment with your name on it is from you or from someone else.

Posted by: hh | October 3, 2007 9:18 AM | Report abuse

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