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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 10/29/2007

Comment Box: Royal Wedding? Katie's Net Worth?

By Liz Kelly

Prince William and Kate Middleton in February. (AP)

What do you think is going on with Prince William and Kate? I think they are secretly engaged. What do your secret, royal Weblinks tell you? And is there a really good Website [sic] for following such things? Thanks. -- Submitted via last week's Celebritology Live discussion

If I had to take a guess, I'd say Kate and Wills are two young people (they're both 25) trying their best -- despite an inordinate amount of scrutiny -- to explore the viability of a relationship. And this professional celeb watcher errs on the side of giving these two a wide berth to do so. After all, Wills lost his mother partly due to the overzealous attention of the paparazzi. He deserves a little space, as does rowdy younger brother Harry.

That said, here's what we know: Kate and William began dating sometime in 2003 when both attended Scotland's University of St. Andrews, where the two were roommates. By spring 2007, though, it seemed media scrutiny and constant gossip about Kate's prospects as a future princess took their toll and the two reportedly split. Just a couple of months later, though, royal watchers speculated that the relationship was reigniting when Kate was on hand for the Princes' Concert for Diana (though Kate was seated a couple of rows behind Wills). Then, earlier this month engagement rumors started circulating again when Kate joined the royal family for a bit of "deerstalking" at their Balmoral castle.

Also earlier this month, Kate and Wills were reportedly chased by the paparazzi after leaving a London nightclub. An incident that drew comparisons with the 1997 death of Princess Diana.

If incremental, breathless coverage is more your bag you may want to check out the refreshingly unsourced Hindu News, which claims a marriage will take place in July 2009, or this article, which speculates that a proposal will be proffered at Christmas. And, of course, the Daily Mail and Sun are reliably chock-full of royal speculation.

Do you know what Katie Holmes net worth was before she married Tom Cruise -- and do you know what Tom Cruise's net worth is? -- Submitted via last week's Celebritology Live discussion

Various sites reported Tom Cruise's fortune as somewhere between $250 to $300 million at the time of his marriage to Katie Holmes. Katie's, not surprisingly, is not included. Prior to marrying Cruise, Holmes was best known for her role in "Dawson's Creek" and had made a few promising forays onto the big screen in movies like "The Ice Storm," "Pieces of April" and "Thank You For Smoking." In May 2006, prior to their wedding, a prenup was signed by the couple that would reportedly leave Holmes with $40 million if she and Cruise should divorce.

According to IMDB.com, Holmes's paychecks for her film work have never topped $1 million while husband Tom Cruise has commanded upwards of $25 million for his leading roles and now also helms his own movie studio.

You do the math.

---

Creative Captioning: The Winner

Speaking of TomKat, last week's photo inspired a flood of entries -- with several hilarious "Lars and the Real Girl" riffs. Also, thanks to those who pointed out the Fug Girls's fulmination on a photo from the same event. The Official Celebritology Captionologist title, though, goes to reader CJB for this simple, yet effective summation:


TomKat announce they will be working together in a remake of "The Princess and the Pea," with Katie in the lead role and Tom starring as that irritant in the bed.

The complete list of top captions is here.

---

P.S. Thank you to the reader (and clinical psychologist) who wrote in to explain that the anti-narcoleptic medication Provigil -- lately found in Britney's purse -- is considered non-addictive.

By Liz Kelly  | October 29, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Comment Box  
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Comments

Do not expect an engagement announcement anytime in the near future. William's cousin Peter Phillips (Anne's son) just got engaged. An engagement announcement by the Heir Presumptive to the Throne would overshadow that wedding. William is reportedly close to his cousins and would not do that to him. So, don't expect anything untl after Peter's wedding.

Posted by: ep | October 29, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Wait... Katie is not Kate? You mean that poor, sweet muppet, Katie Holmes, is not throwing off that huge wanker, Cruise, for a Cinderella wedding to Wills at Kensington? Oh, bloody damn!

Posted by: Helena Handbasket | October 29, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

And I humbly accept this honor!

(I thought I was always going to be the bridesmaid, never the bride...)

Posted by: CJB | October 29, 2007 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget - William has also said he doesn't want to get married until his 30's (I remember reading that somewhere during the split). Can you blame him?

Not to mention, I'm willing to wager that he's had some discussions with his father on the merits of when and why the heir to the throne of England should be married. And I'm also willing to wager his father will protect him from getting married to someone thought to have the proper bloodline as mother for the future heir, as opposed to someone he loves.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | October 29, 2007 12:16 PM | Report abuse

I don't think that caption was the funniest. I didn't submit one, so I'm being objective here.

I'd have to go with the one that said Tom couldn't grow the Hitler moustache, so he opted for the beard, or something to that effect. Now, that's funny and it didn't even make the top 5! Bah

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 12:26 PM | Report abuse

I don't understand the fascination with the royals. Here everyone complains about the coverage Brit and Paris get, saying they're nothing but vacuous personalities, but at least they've accomplished something in their short lives. Whereas the royals have generally accomplished nothing and are celebrated for the happenstance of being born inbred and whose personalities are equally vapid. The roaayl bloodline trace back to progenitors who were brutal and bloodthirtier than their competition.

Posted by: Stick | October 29, 2007 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Huh? Kate and William were roommates at school? How progressive!

Posted by: surlychick | October 29, 2007 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Oh who cares. Harry's the hot one.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Actually Stick, both William and Harry have served in the British Military and they have taken up their mother's charity causes. I don't think Brit's or Paris' "accomplishments", the term being used loosely of course, can compare.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Given his history, I believe Charles, above anyone else, would want his children to marry someone they love.

Posted by: MGC | October 29, 2007 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Haven't "Meet my little friend" and "Does ____make my _____look fat?" been used like, a hundred times?

And per the royals. Well, they've been around for a long time and I believe they are very important to the people of Great Britain, otherwise they would have gotten rid of them. And being curious about them doesn't mean I wish the paps would run them down and kill them. Geez.

Posted by: POS | October 29, 2007 1:41 PM | Report abuse

"Haven't "Meet my little friend" and "Does ____make my _____look fat?" been used like, a hundred times?"


Exactly, and while I'll admit that these two are funny variations, they aren't very original.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 1:48 PM | Report abuse

For royal watchers, try the William and Harry site at http://whu.teamhighgrove.com and the British Royal Wedding site at http://www.britishroyalwedding.com has a lot of recent news and links to various web sites about the royals.

Posted by: Jane | October 29, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

What's with the snotty little "[sic]"? Lots of people capitalize "Web," and there's no universal standard for spelling website yet.

Posted by: Counter wristslap | October 29, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, but captions #3,4, and 5 were all lame and not funny at all. I'm starting to doubt the judges' qualifications.

Posted by: blah | October 29, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

blah, I totally agree. I don't submit, but I do read all the entries and the winners when they're announced. I feel like I've seen some variation on #3,4, and 5 every single week. It's definitely not funny or creative anymore, especially since TomKat brought out so many other hilarious captions.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 3:27 PM | Report abuse

"meet my little friend" won during the week with Vincent Pastore and the kitten, and "does this __ make my __ look __?" won when Chris Kattan posed with the ridiculously huge tennis racket, and both have been used repeatedly every week since. Definitely time to put those to rest.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 29, 2007 3:31 PM | Report abuse

"roommate" is slightly inaccurate. "Flatmate" would be better as the residence they were in is configured in apartment-like suites with multiple bedrooms and shared bath, kitchen, and commonroom facilities. These flats are co-ed, but some bedrooms are shared and are assigned single sex.

Posted by: MB | October 29, 2007 5:08 PM | Report abuse

In fact, I posted the "Say hello to my little friend" as an "I can't believe no one's posted this yet" entry.

It's an honor just to be nominated....

Posted by: Lsht | October 29, 2007 5:13 PM | Report abuse

who cares? I'm waiting for putin.

Haha.

Posted by: not bluto | October 29, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Well maybe this week we'll have a picture of Brit showing her privates and we can all use these captions:
"Do my shaved privates make my butt look big?"
"Oh look, the quarterback wants to play hide the salami. Meet my little friend."
"Gee, so good to get a new puppy. I can't wait to jab him with the adrenaline spike (sic)."

Posted by: POS | October 29, 2007 5:31 PM | Report abuse

Q: Do these criticisms of reader-suggested captions, raised by whiny individuals lacking sufficient creativity to land their own submissions in the Top Five, make the sputtering critics' heads look fat?

A: Why, yes, I should think so.

Posted by: Libidinous Johnson | October 29, 2007 5:44 PM | Report abuse

High-five, LJ.

Posted by: byoolin | October 29, 2007 11:27 PM | Report abuse

At least we all know the winning formula now. I'm starting my captions before the photo is even posted. Next week, I shall emerge victorious.

What was the prize again?

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