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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 10/19/2007

Friday Follies: Waste a Day the Celebritology Way

By Liz Kelly

List-a-palooza

This Friday I present a trio of lists from other sources with which to while away the few short hours until the official start of the weekend. None particularly lends itself to much outside input, but all three are well worth your precious surfing time.

1. Top 10 Topical Halloween Costumes Everyone Will Be Wearing Even Though We Wish They Wouldn't. Best Week Ever presents their list of the season's top annoying and inevitably ubiquitous disguises. From JT's "SNL" song parody to an iPhone to a post-life Anna Nicole Smith, this list is not for the faint of heart (and possibly not safe for work).

2. Worst Movies Directed by Actors. For those of us who didn't realize that Nicolas Cage and William Shatner have both spent time behind the lens, this list is edifying. For those among us who are fans of "Braveheart" and "The Cable Guy," this list may well be maddening. (For a more upbeat take on the same concept, check out this list of the best movies directed by actors.)

3. The 11 Most Unintentionally Poignant Drunk Celebrity Videos. From Cracked.com, an AV smorgasbord of the greatest moments in tipsy celebrities captured on film. From the expected (David Hasselhoff, Paula Abdul) to the unexpected (Alex Trebek, Orson Welles). Again, may not be safe for work.


------
Creative Captioning: In Need of a Cure

Ah, Robert Smith. I've been looking so long at this picture of you that I almost believe you are Liz Taylor. How I worshipped you and your morbid, depressing pop ditties back in the '80s. The hair was edgy, the lipstick and eyeliner rebellious. But does that same look work for a now elder statesman of alternative rock?

Share your proposed captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Oct. 14-20.


(AP)

Winning Captions (Updated 10.22.07):
1. "Does this guitar make my butt look big?" -- ep
2. "It's Friday, I'm A Tub." -- byoolin
3. Amy Winehouse discovers the unpleasant side effects of marijuana-induced munchies. -- Tommy
4. New in record stores this week: "Liza Minnelli Goes Metäl." -- yellojkt
5. Robert Smith decides to continue touring, despite being only halfway through gender reassignment. -- CJB
6. Robert Smith graciously receives his "Phallus of Death" award. -- lydacole

By Liz Kelly  | October 19, 2007; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Creative Captioning, Friday Lists  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: Brit Runs Over Paparazzo's Foot
Next: Morning Mix: Spears Regains Visitation Rights

Comments

Robert Smith's favorite holiday is Halloween.

Posted by: nadabrain | October 19, 2007 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith auditions for the new-wave version of Hairspray.

Posted by: Rex | October 19, 2007 11:05 AM | Report abuse

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

Posted by: b | October 19, 2007 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like you're about to eat my brains.

Posted by: Stef | October 19, 2007 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith provides an answer to the question: Can you ever be too old? YES!

Posted by: b | October 19, 2007 11:11 AM | Report abuse

btw, i think if you adjust the coding on the photo, there won't be a big blank space at the top of the page...on my box anyway.

Posted by: b | October 19, 2007 11:12 AM | Report abuse

b,
You get my vote.

On the other topic, national geographic has a jigsaw puzzle generator that I have personal wasted away a few Friday's on. Yes it's not celeb related but ohh so fun.

Posted by: petal | October 19, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

i don't have the heart for this anymore. auf wiedersehen dahling.

Posted by: methinks | October 19, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith performs a re-make of the Cure hit now retitled "It's Friday, I'm a Fat Old Woman"

Posted by: TMiami | October 19, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith blends in at a Rocky Horror Picture Show tribute.

Posted by: bahston | October 19, 2007 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I chose my 19 month-old daughter's Hallowe'en costume more with non-princess in mind than anything else. I bought her a tiny orange space-flight suit (a tribute to my late dad who was an aeronautical engineer) and it later occurred to me that I am dressing her as a female astronaut with a diaper on.

Posted by: MaryB | October 19, 2007 11:17 AM | Report abuse

"Liz Kelly's costume was the HIT of the Washington Post's Hallowe'en Party."

Posted by: byoolin | October 19, 2007 11:19 AM | Report abuse

The Clinton thing is so over. The purses never happened. The whole London School of Economics trip was boring. Monica Lewinsky says she hopes her musical career will be judged on its merits, not prior noteriety.

Posted by: KR | October 19, 2007 11:19 AM | Report abuse

Rosie O'Donnell on a crack binge.

Posted by: not bluto | October 19, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

[If he weren't so very dead already]

Tiny Tim opens his national comeback tour, sponsored by Krups.

Posted by: byoolin | October 19, 2007 11:21 AM | Report abuse

"The 80's are back man and its totally rad." Robert Smith slurred before keeling over into a drug enduced coma.

Posted by: sjcpeach | October 19, 2007 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Mecha-Steisand wants a rematch with Robert Smith.

As for Shatner's Star Trek, it is worth noting that the movie was plagued by budget problems, studio intervention, and the fact that the best FX teams at ILM were busy with Indianna Jones and Ghostbusters II. I am not trying to defend the crappy movie, all I'm saying is that it wasn't necessarily all Shatner's fault that the movie was bad.

Posted by: michael | October 19, 2007 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith graciously receives his "Phallus of Death" award.

Posted by: lydacole | October 19, 2007 11:27 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith realizes that he forgot to put on his adult diapers before the show.

Posted by: VAtoLA | October 19, 2007 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I can't stop looking at the Robert Smith picture. And every time I do, my brain says, "Holy s***!"

It looks almost like what happens when you accidentally Google "hugely+overweight+people+porn", you know?

Posted by: byoolin | October 19, 2007 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Liza Minnelli photographed just getting out of bed.

Posted by: bm | October 19, 2007 11:29 AM | Report abuse

"It's Friday, I'm A Tub."

Posted by: byoolin | October 19, 2007 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith: "This is why you really, really shouldn't do drugs, kids."

Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2007 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Robert Smith decides to continue touring, despite being only halfway through gender reassignment.

Posted by: CJB | October 19, 2007 11:37 AM | Report abuse

I dunno why I thought of this tune by America: "..I been through the desert and saw a man with a mane"

Posted by: Doug Wann | October 19, 2007 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Rikki Lake stars in the remake of The Crying Game.

Posted by: M Street | October 19, 2007 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Meet Milton Smith, Robert and Anna Nicole Smith's secret love child. Milton, the cosmetic genius behind Cure It All spa treatments, is modeling his new line of beauty products including Feel Free Again hair pommade and Sunday I'm in Love lip tint.

Posted by: Stuck@Work | October 19, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never see this picture of you...

Posted by: Tdot | October 19, 2007 11:46 AM | Report abuse

Tomorrow on Craig Ferguson we have Robert Smith as Craig Ferguson as Robert Smith

(and that 'worst movies directed by actors' list FAILS... i give you one word... "Wisdom")

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 19, 2007 11:46 AM | Report abuse

New in record stores this week: "Liza Minnelli Goes Metäl"

Posted by: yellojkt | October 19, 2007 11:47 AM | Report abuse

bm,
I composed my entry before reading the comments. Great minds think alike.

Posted by: yellojkt | October 19, 2007 11:48 AM | Report abuse

I like turtles.

Posted by: hman1217 | October 19, 2007 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Liz Taylor reinvents herself again.

Posted by: Kelli | October 19, 2007 11:52 AM | Report abuse

and the prize goes to:

stuck@work!

Posted by: b | October 19, 2007 11:55 AM | Report abuse

OMG, who ate Robert Smith?!?

Posted by: surlychick | October 19, 2007 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Amy Winehouse discovers the unpleasant side effects of marijuana-induced munchies.

Posted by: Tommy | October 19, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

You're right QV, I can't believe not one (if not all) of Emilio Estevez movies were on the list. Something is amiss.

Posted by: jake e. poo | October 19, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

A sheepish Britney Sprears, at her lastest VMA performance, realizes that the tabloids might be right.

Posted by: Mad Scientist | October 19, 2007 12:00 PM | Report abuse

"We all labour against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases." -- Sir Thomas Browne

Posted by: Mr. Natrual | October 19, 2007 12:03 PM | Report abuse

"Here, hold this microphone. I need to freshen up my eyeliner."

Posted by: Katyola | October 19, 2007 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Eddie Izzard's new comedy show features a bit about The Cure frontman Robert Smith.

Posted by: yumdonuts | October 19, 2007 12:05 PM | Report abuse

It looks like boys DO cry

Posted by: jcm | October 19, 2007 12:06 PM | Report abuse

The world doesn't make enough detangler. Or donuts.

Posted by: md | October 19, 2007 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Anna Nicole Smith has risen from the grave, and she is hungry for musical instruments!!!!

Posted by: pete | October 19, 2007 12:14 PM | Report abuse

I like Maybelline because it doesn't smear...

Posted by: BDWESQTM | October 19, 2007 12:16 PM | Report abuse

During a Q&A session at a recent show, Robert Smith introduced the audience to the black, baby cashew that he cradeled in his arms -- proving he has finally gone nuts.

Posted by: not bluto | October 19, 2007 12:24 PM | Report abuse

I'm laughing so hard I could barely type that my vote is a 3-way tie between bm, Tommy, and Mad Scientist!!

LMAO ...

Posted by: Californian | October 19, 2007 12:30 PM | Report abuse

I want to stab him in the chest with the adrenaline stick.

Posted by: Doug Wann | October 19, 2007 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Robert Smith has the Cure for midnight binges. Friday, he's in love with Jenny Craig as the new spokesperson. Eat your hearts out Kirstie and Val.

Posted by: columbia, sc not dc | October 19, 2007 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Horton Hatches the Egg - the rock opera.

Posted by: Lacie | October 19, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

The Cure for my appetite.

Posted by: TJMikeK | October 19, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Robert Smith channels his inner Alice Cooper via Amy Winehouse.

Posted by: Lisa1 | October 19, 2007 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Photoshop Smith so that he's holding a sign:

"Will sing old emo songs for eyeliner. (NO TINY TIM, STOP ASKING!)"

Or just "I CAN HAZ HARSPREY PLZ?"

Posted by: Max H. | October 19, 2007 12:49 PM | Report abuse

Do the Cure need Robert Smith or does Robert Smith need a cure ?

Posted by: Jeff | October 19, 2007 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Bozo was busy so you get me.

Posted by: Gari Jo | October 19, 2007 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Could someone please tell Mortisha Addams she needs a haircut, a chest waxing, and Weight Watchers?

My vote goes to TJMikeK-hilarious.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | October 19, 2007 1:02 PM | Report abuse

in between diets?

Posted by: osull1va | October 19, 2007 1:14 PM | Report abuse

No point hiding behing the guitar, Elvira, the gig is up.

Posted by: SMACK | October 19, 2007 1:20 PM | Report abuse

If a camera adds 10 pounds, approximately how many cameras are on Robert Smith?

Posted by: SMACK | October 19, 2007 1:22 PM | Report abuse

"Dog Day Afternoon II" (2007) premieres this month, and Leon (Chris Sarandon, above) is STILL waiting for that operation.

Posted by: td | October 19, 2007 1:37 PM | Report abuse

I just want to be loved. Is that so wrong?

Posted by: td | October 19, 2007 1:45 PM | Report abuse

It's not ethical to force gorillas to perform on stage.
-PETA

Posted by: POS | October 19, 2007 2:00 PM | Report abuse

This week on PBS-Kids, guest Robert Smith teaches the Teletubbies about New Wave Music.

Posted by: iB | October 19, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

OR

The ghost of Tortured Teenage Pop's Recent Past tries in vain to warn Marilyn Manson.

Posted by: iB | October 19, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Do you want to stroke my pet whale?

Posted by: POS | October 19, 2007 2:44 PM | Report abuse

"All your base are belong to us"

Posted by: b | October 19, 2007 2:50 PM | Report abuse

no one has yet to venture, "meet my little friend" yet? c'mon peeps!

Posted by: osull1va | October 19, 2007 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Criss Angel reacts to the news of David Copperfield's legal troubles.

Posted by: PR Girl | October 19, 2007 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Chubby Chubby (Dang! Dang!): Baroness Bomburst & the Child Catcher's creepy bastard succumbs to a high-fat diet and Statue of Liberty delusions.

Posted by: Thor | October 19, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Who knew that Britney played guitar?!

Posted by: tess | October 19, 2007 3:12 PM | Report abuse

No caption comment.
But my Halloween costume is very retro-celebrity. I'm going as the Swedish Chef - floppy hat, white jacket, rubber chicken, and all. Liz, you'll be happy to know that the houndstooth checked pants are not pleated.

Posted by: Bluto | October 19, 2007 3:17 PM | Report abuse

For some reason I imagined Bluto as the Swedish Chef!

Posted by: not bluto | October 19, 2007 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Robert looked out into the audience and realized that his fans were as old, fat, pale and badly dressed as he was. It was at that moment that he realized: maybe Jimi Hendrix got it right after all.

Posted by: NW DC | October 19, 2007 3:34 PM | Report abuse

Was this what Brad Pitt meant when he talked about not aging well???

Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2007 3:46 PM | Report abuse

My votes

MaxH
yellojkt

Posted by: Turq | October 19, 2007 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Robert Smith proves that eating brains makes you fat while not making you smarter. He later comments that Milla Jovanovich needs to go easy on the bone marrow, since that is not exactly low fat either.

Posted by: ep | October 19, 2007 4:06 PM | Report abuse

hman1217 -- Good one! Ha! I agree with Gene that the video of that kid wasn't remotely funny. But your comment was great!

Posted by: L L L | October 19, 2007 4:14 PM | Report abuse

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

Posted by: L L L | October 19, 2007 4:16 PM | Report abuse

Alice Cooper needs to stay away from the Halloween candy.

Posted by: yellojkt | October 19, 2007 4:24 PM | Report abuse

"I can't believe I ate the whole Siouxsie."

Posted by: lizturtle | October 19, 2007 4:24 PM | Report abuse

How do I know so much about Oops I Crapped My Pants? Because I'm wearing them right now---and I just did.

Posted by: AlexOT | October 19, 2007 4:39 PM | Report abuse

Cure frontman Robert Smith calls upon an audience member to "Put the lotion in the basket."

Posted by: FridayInLove | October 19, 2007 4:44 PM | Report abuse

re- worst movies directed by actors - my list

Stayin Alive: Sylvester Stallone
The Pledge: Sean Penn
The Postman: Kevin Costener
Willow: Ron Howard
Garden State: Zach Braff
Little Man: Keenan Ivory Wayans
Dick Tracy: Warren beatthy
Forget Paris: Billy Crystal
Cop & a Half: Henry Winkler

Posted by: Mike/Michigan | October 19, 2007 4:51 PM | Report abuse

I beg to differ on Garden State.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2007 5:19 PM | Report abuse

Al Gore unveils his latest "look" for the Nobel Award Ceremonies.

Posted by: Norm | October 19, 2007 5:24 PM | Report abuse

I liked both Garden State and Forget Paris...my husband still refers to veal parmesan whenever he orders it as having "a Billy Crystal."

Posted by: CJB | October 19, 2007 5:55 PM | Report abuse

As the orderlies surrounded him, Robert Smith could be heard muttering "cautious, my precious . . . we musstn't rissk our neck, musst we, precious? No, precious."

Posted by: Kate | October 19, 2007 5:57 PM | Report abuse

After catching a glimpse of his image in an onstage monitor, Robert Smith of The Cure decides to open his set with "Why Can't I Be You?"

Posted by: CJB | October 19, 2007 6:03 PM | Report abuse

Looking like the spawn of an unholy union between Rosie and The Donald, Robert Smith of The Cure reminds us that sometimes, a celebrity feud is a good thing.

Posted by: oregonchick | October 19, 2007 6:23 PM | Report abuse

During rehearsal for the new Disney stage musical "The Little Mermaid," Ursula the Sea Witch picks up the guitar.

Posted by: jens | October 19, 2007 6:30 PM | Report abuse

OR

Determined to shed his 'Office' persona, Steve Carell debuts his one-man stage show, "Transvestite Ghouls of the Apocalypse: The Musical."

Posted by: oregonchick | October 19, 2007 6:42 PM | Report abuse

Cradling a mutant eggplant, Cure frontman Robert Smith accepts the award for Best Goth Ron Jeremy Lookalike.

Posted by: Thor | October 19, 2007 6:47 PM | Report abuse

Tentative cover for the debut album of "The Secret Passion of Severus Snape"

Posted by: Angela | October 19, 2007 8:40 PM | Report abuse

Robert Smith: Does this guitar make my butt look big?

Posted by: ep | October 19, 2007 8:44 PM | Report abuse

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." - Jerry Seinfeld

I can't take credit for this quote, and am a Cure fan, but our caption subject would do well to listen!

Posted by: Sigh | October 20, 2007 2:18 AM | Report abuse

Boys don't cry...but those looking at the aging alt-rockers of their youth sure will weep

Posted by: SCGirl | October 20, 2007 3:08 AM | Report abuse

Channeling Divine, Robert Smith waits for John Waters and a bichon-frise

Posted by: Up Really Late | October 20, 2007 3:10 AM | Report abuse

Having failed to land the lead in "Rock of Love," Robert Smith sets his sights on "Celebrity Fit Club."

Posted by: GB | October 20, 2007 1:18 PM | Report abuse

montacaelcad

Posted by: relpasmonal | October 20, 2007 8:19 PM | Report abuse

Consummating the union of art and commerce, musician Robert Smith squeezes in a plug.

Posted by: Mr. Zog | October 21, 2007 6:15 AM | Report abuse

Britney learns the guitar during her newly found free time not parenting.

Posted by: dt | October 21, 2007 10:19 AM | Report abuse

Ooooo, just like heaven.

Posted by: Economisting | October 22, 2007 8:38 AM | Report abuse

"Promoting his new album, 'Feed me, Feed me, Feed Me'."

Posted by: Spencer | October 22, 2007 10:28 AM | Report abuse

"It's 10:15 on a Saturday Night....at Krispy Kreme"

Posted by: Spencer | October 22, 2007 10:28 AM | Report abuse

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