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Posted at 8:00 AM ET, 10/23/2007

Morning Mix: Malibu Fires Threaten Celeb Homes

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Wildfires torch Sean Penn's land, threaten more celebrity homes... Halle Berry apologizes for Jewish remark... Howard K. Stern files claim for 6 percent of Anna Nicole Smith's estate... Paris Hilton booed at horror movie awards show... Group calls for life-saving Britney Spears boycott... Chuck Norris backs Republican Mike Huckabee in presidential race... Israeli police detain surfer Kelly Slater after scuffling with photographers trying to snap pix with model (and recent Leo DiCaprio ex?) Bar Refaeli... Roger Moore squires four former Bond girls to UNICEF gala... Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon welcomes twin boys... Pix: The most-airbrushed celebs of 2007 (so far)... SJP as Carrie Bradshaw: Annoyingly over and underdressed at the same time... Brangelina team up to produce HBO series... Steve Martin pens children's book... Soap actor Nathaniel Marston arrested for assault.

In Case You Missed It: Marie Osmond faints on "Dancing with the Stars"...

Rumor Mill: Jessica Simpson to join "View" for two days in November... Heather Mills wants Reese Witherspoon to portray her on the silver screen... Madonna's adoption to be finalized five months early... Limo company seeks $16,000 in back payments from Jennifer Lopez.

Brit's Lips: Before or After?

Say What?
"The floor in a woman's bathroom is colder than the floor in the men's. And, believe me, I've spent a lot of time on the floor of a men's bathroom so I should know!" -- TMI, Jake Gyllenhaal

"Well, it's not near my house." -- Britney Spears's reaction when asked about the wildfires that have destroyed dozens of building -- including houses -- near her Malibu home.

Good Read
Roberts considers Larry David to be the perfect proxy for a schizophrenic person. "On his way into his dentist's office, he holds the door open for a woman, and, as a result, she's seen first," he said. "He stews, he fumes, he explodes. He's breaking the social rules that folks with schizophrenia often break." -- We Are All Larry David, The New Yorker, Oct. 29

By Liz Kelly  | October 23, 2007; 8:00 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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KARNAK: "Reese Witherspoon to portray her on the silver screen; a bazillion-pound divorce settlement from Paul McCartney; to stand on her own two feet."

BYOOLIN: "Reese Witherspoon to portray her on the silver screen; a bazillion-pound divorce settlement from Paul McCartney; to stand on her own two feet."

KARNAK: "Name three things Heather Mills won't see anytime soon."

BYOOLIN: "Hey-o!"

Posted by: Karnak & byoolin | October 23, 2007 8:47 AM | Report abuse

"Heather Mills wants Reese Witherspoon to portray her on the silver screen..."

One would think Amy Poehler in the character of "Amber" might make for more appropriate casting.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 8:51 AM | Report abuse

"Heather sees this as the tragic and empowering story of her life - a young model who gets run over and loses her leg, overcomes her difficulties and marries her prince. But the most interesting part of the tale will be the dark goings on between the couple behind closed doors..."

How is it empowering to be marry a man, have his child and take his money? What financial independence did she bring to the marriage? Is she was truly empowered and experienced 'dark goings on...behind closed doors,' why would she want to take ANYTHING from this man? (This is a rhetorical question not requiring an answer b/c we all know what the answer is.)
Heather Mills is a shameless gold digger of the worst kind.
And if she gets to have Reese Witherspoon to play her, I'm getting Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick the competition into submission. HAhahahah.

Garcella looked like she was carrying about 4 kids. Congradulations to her.

After seeing the wedding dress SJP was wearing, I'm not surprised by this get-up.

If Jessica is a Republican as well it will be like Hasselbeck is still there. Sweet.

Why is there going to be a movie about Heather Mills?

Posted by: petal | October 23, 2007 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Re Chuck Norris's backing of Mike Huckabee:

There is no such thing as evolution, only a list of species Chuck Norris allows to live.

Man, that was too easy.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | October 23, 2007 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Halle, girl, you should never do comedy.

I am so glad that Brit Brit has her priorties in order.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Wow, I was hoping that Britney comment was taken out of context. It's not.

Posted by: Sigh | October 23, 2007 9:41 AM | Report abuse

-If Jake wants to come out the closet, just step on out. No one would be surprised.

-"Annoying over dress and undress at the same time" Liz, you just describe the fashion of Patricia Fields.

-Kelly Slater is a" layover" for when female celebrities are between boyfriends.

Posted by: Lisa1 | October 23, 2007 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Poor Marie Osmond. Passing out on national tv must be horribly embarassing. But, at least she'll get more sympathy votes than that gold digger Heather Mills got with her staged fall.

Posted by: ep | October 23, 2007 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Heather marrying to become rich and famous is just as empowered as a woman who picks a man in law school with the goal that he will become president, marries him, puts up with ridiculous crap, and then runs on his record, claiming she has experience because they talked about his policies while he was in office.

Oh wait....

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 9:53 AM | Report abuse

crap, i'm an idiot like larry david's character on curb. does that mean i'm schizo?

Posted by: not bluto | October 23, 2007 9:54 AM | Report abuse

I wish Jake would just come out. It is nothing to be ashamed of, isn't really even an issue in life, and it is made a much bigger deal by his hiding it and playing coy. Sad.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Also, thank goodness Jessica is a Republican. I certainly wouldn't want to have to change political affiliations to escape the creep of toxic blond bimbosity into the Democratic party.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | October 23, 2007 9:56 AM | Report abuse

How empowering is it to "hop" into bed with Macca? Then birth a child from your loin? Then be torn limb from limb in the press just because you don't want a divorce that leaves without a leg to stand on? How does she stand it? I'd be kicking myself but that's just me. I guess we'll just have to wait until she kicks the bucket to get within a foot of the truth.

Posted by: Stick | October 23, 2007 10:16 AM | Report abuse

Is it just me, or is Britney looking more and more like Fat Elvis?

Posted by: JustMe | October 23, 2007 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Just me: OUCH!

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 10:40 AM | Report abuse

bite your tongues, Jake G is not gay. He is very hetero. Not only that he likes older women (admited I'm a little older than Reese) and in my mind, a little "coffee in bed". You Squeeze fans will get this.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Heather who?

Jessica who?

Britney who?

Has beens and never was'es.

Slow celeb news day.

Posted by: me | October 23, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

I thought Jake G's comment had to do with drinking too much, vomiting and passing out.
What is it? The Brokeback Mountain thing? He's a very good actor. Don't be so literal.

Posted by: POS | October 23, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

me who?

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

I think if Jake was gay, he'd come out and say so. I don't think he's in the closet. Gosh, people, learn to seperate fiction and reality.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Am I the only one who thinks that Marie Osmond's "fainting spell" on Dancing with the Stars was a pathetic ploy (for the sympathy vote) to avoid getting kicked off the show?
p.s. I need to get a life.

Posted by: still | October 23, 2007 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I'm loving all the kicking, legs and foot metaphors used while talking about Heather Mills. Y'all rock.

Posted by: ol | October 23, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

The Heather Mills story WILL be a movie, but only on Lifetime.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:24 AM | Report abuse

I always thought Jake G.was gay before Brokeback Mountain. My gaydar says he is on the down-low like Lance Bass used to be.

Posted by: NYC22 | October 23, 2007 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Marie's increasingly heavy breathing just before she dropped made *me* feel sick, kind of like the feeling of not getting enough oxygen in a crowded auditorium.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:37 AM | Report abuse

I think everyone suspects that fainting spell might have been faked, but no one will say it on tv.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Marie does have a flair for the dramatic. It could have been planned.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:46 AM | Report abuse

Still, it's not you. Monday Nights are tough to get though if you not into football.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Everytime I see a photo of Jake Gyllenhall I think k.d. lang. (He's an odd-looking man.) The women's bathroom comment just seals it for me now.

And if he IS talking about, e.g., drinking and passing out, then why is it relevant in the context of his time with Susan Sarandon? It's a strange thing to say regardless. Why is this newsworthy?

(I'm a Squeeze fan too, BTW. Saw the group in concert at The Senator Theatre in Baltimore years ago. Tremendous show.)

Posted by: td | October 23, 2007 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Monday nights have Heroes

Posted by: MGC | October 23, 2007 12:01 PM | Report abuse

I watched Lives of Others over the weekend and that US Weekly story on Brit kind of reminded me of the movie. Of her constantly being under survellience, but the end..."She was back home by 6 p.m. As of 9 p.m., she had still not left her house." That was just plain creepy.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Poor Bill Moseley & Anthony Head. I'm sure when they thought they were going on a horror awards show they never thought they were gonna have to deal with "that" kind of horror up on stage with them.

Posted by: Bored @ home | October 23, 2007 12:15 PM | Report abuse

JustMe, you are not the only one.

I know someone else brought it up yesterday, but.....

does Britney have a 'stache?

I didn't notice her lips as "changed a la Jolie", just the growing shadowing above her upper lip a la five o'clock shadow.

Posted by: unmute | October 23, 2007 1:24 PM | Report abuse

On Heroes--I tried to get into it, but it's really very confusing, and a huge time commitment to boot b/c there's no resolution at the end of each episode so you have to hang in for the season/next season/rest of your life.

Posted by: still | October 23, 2007 1:54 PM | Report abuse

I did really like My Boys--anyone else catch it? When is it coming back on?

Posted by: still | October 23, 2007 1:56 PM | Report abuse

RE: Jake G.: He has been seen repeatedly with Austin Nichols in more than just guy friendly interactions. Guys do not walk down the street sort of intentionally bumping each other or putting arms around each other's shoulders and touching heads. It is an open secret in Hollywood that the Reese thing was to promote the movie and give him a nice appropriate beard.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

this is totally random, but wanted to show a pic of Cate Blanchette that counteracted that one Liz posted a few weeks ago where she looked too thin. This is lovely:

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 2:36 PM | Report abuse

I loved My Boys, still. There is so little on TV that I watch, but that was one of the few shows I did actually sit down to watch. I know this is sacriligious, but I have never watched Lost or Heroes nor any reality show, I've also gotten pretty bored with the formulaic cop shows, i.e CSI, Law & Order. So that leave very little TV to watch, so I am forced to do work around the house or

Posted by: Anonymous | October 23, 2007 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Worst air-brushing - Martha Stewart on the new Macy's ads! The woman has no nose at all, and speaks from a peach-colored fuzzy area under her hair....

Posted by: Maritza | October 23, 2007 7:24 PM | Report abuse

Airbrushing: There are a few bus posters of "The George Lopez Show" around right now where he has no lines in his face at all. Doesn't even look like him. Pores? Gone. If that were really him, his eyes wouldn't be able to close at all.

Posted by: td | October 24, 2007 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Can't the judge issue a gag order for Britney? I'm tired of her opening her mouth.

Posted by: Sharon | October 24, 2007 1:07 PM | Report abuse

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