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Posted at 8:06 AM ET, 10/ 9/2007

Morning Mix: Sting Tops List of Worst Lyricists

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan plans to settle in Utah... Sting tops list of worst lyricists... Pix: Inside Gwyneth Paltrow's Hamptons home... Osbournes auction contents of three homes... O.J. Simpson's fake Rolex returned by Goldman family... Victoria Beckham blogs from Paris fashion shows... Hef's girlfriend Holly Madison takes a non-naked job at Playboy... David Spade gives $25K to slain police officer's family.

Rumor Mill: Britney Spears applies for bartending job... Charlie Sheen promises to remove his 13 tattoos for new fiancee... Angelina Jolie meets with estranged dad Jon Voight... Is daughter Zahara giving paparazzi the finger?... Prince Harry snorts vodka, does fair impression of frat boy... Pam Anderson had fake cake at latest wedding; Paris Hilton sends new couple a video camera... Penelope Cruz dating actor Javier Bardem?

Say What?
"I don't know how to get to my Malibu house will you help me?" -- Britney Spears (who, like, so needs to try Google maps) to photographers on Saturday night

In Case You Missed It: Larry David cameos on "Hannah Montana"...

By Liz Kelly  | October 9, 2007; 8:06 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Comment Box: Leave Hannah Montana Alone
Next: Lindsay Lohan: A Changed Woman?


I wish I could get to that Blender list from here. I have a sneaking suspicion that "Wildfire" is somewhere in the top ten. :-)

Posted by: byoolin | October 9, 2007 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Those people at Blender are really cranky about their lyrics. No literary allusions! No near rhymes! We hate you all for your success!

Posted by: Em | October 9, 2007 8:58 AM | Report abuse

Brit...Just click your cowboy boots together three times and say, "There's no place like my Malibu home. There's no place like my Malibu home. There's no place like my..."

Posted by: Anonimis | October 9, 2007 9:04 AM | Report abuse

I think rehab might have worked for Lilo.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 9, 2007 9:05 AM | Report abuse

"Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
Its no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by nabakov"

A song about a child molesting teacher...

Stay classy, Sting.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 9, 2007 9:08 AM | Report abuse

Wow - go Lindsay. Staying in Utah sounds, on the surface of it, like a fantastic idea.

Posted by: h3 | October 9, 2007 9:10 AM | Report abuse

i think the story about the theft of several steamy brit sextapes is going to end up being the bigger story than 'brit applies for bartending gig'...

Between 'Federline... FRIES!' and 'Spears... SEX ON THE BEACH!' i wonder what those kids are going to turn out like.

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 9, 2007 9:16 AM | Report abuse

If she's for real, I am so excited for LiLo. As much fun as it is to gossip about celebrity train-wrecks, it will be awesome if we don't have to see more of the same from more stories about a coked up Lindsay running people off the road! Wohoo! And maybe Brit-Brit will take a cue and do the same thing.

Posted by: Omaha | October 9, 2007 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Blender magazine as a barometer of what is good and bad about anything? PUH-LEEZE!

Since these are the same folks that publish MAXIM and STUFF - let's take anything they say with a VERY LARGE grain of salt, eh, Dennis?

Posted by: Wilmington, DE | October 9, 2007 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Whoa. Crazy. I was JUST listening to Ten Summoner's Tales last night in my car thinking "ooh I haven't listened to Sting in ages" and then after skipping through all but 3 songs I popped the (yes I'm old school) CD out.

Posted by: not bluto | October 9, 2007 9:39 AM | Report abuse

The NY Post coverage of Holly was pretty snarky..."bimbonic"?!!! What the hell is that?! From what I've seen on "The Girls Next Door" (which is completely honest and not scripted in any way) I think she stands a decent chance of contributing something of substance to her new job, "even if" she is hot and blonde. I've heard that attractive blonde women are doing all sorts of crazy things now: earning degrees, running businesses, balancing their check books...just like real people!

Posted by: Omaha | October 9, 2007 9:42 AM | Report abuse

I hope that LiLo has really gotten her act together, only time will tell. If she does get it under control I may have to take back what I said about her dad and his influence.

Guess the intervention of Brit Brit didn't go so well.

That picture looks like Z is sucking her finger. They can't seriously be thinking the girl is giving the finger.

Posted by: petal | October 9, 2007 9:55 AM | Report abuse

yeah...that post article was mean. it gave Holly no credit at all for being capable of doing the job.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 9, 2007 9:56 AM | Report abuse

From the LiLo article:

As part of her recovery, Lohan ... says she plans on surrounding herself "with good people who have their hearts and their minds in the right places." She adds that during rehab, she has been in contact with only her family.

Um - nice that she's not placing blame, but isn't the concept of only surrounding herself with good people with their hearts in the right places and having her mother around kind of antithetical?

At least she's starting to get her head on straight. Staying out in Utah will keep her off the club scene.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | October 9, 2007 10:10 AM | Report abuse

I have friends in Utah who say it is easier to get and stay drunker there than almost anywhere else in the US. There are private clubs with memberships, and the partiers/drinkers clan together.

I am not saying this WILL happen, only that it can. For my own part, I have never in my life drunk so much as when I lived in a strict, Muslim country...

Posted by: Bogota | October 9, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse

I had a good laugh over the Harry and friend nipple pics.

And whoever Blender is, they should just go back and listen to their rap music. Obviously if a song doesn't have the n word or "ho" or mysoginist rants in it, it ain't music.
And this is my rant: I hate the term "frontman", as of a band. Can they use some other word, like "Grand Poobah"?

Posted by: POS | October 9, 2007 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Aw poor Prince Harry, he's like the Ted Kennedy of the Royal Family.

He figures he'll never be the King so he's out getting all hopped up on goofballs. Then one day, everyone else before him in line for the throne will be killed in some horrible fiery accident & then he'll be all "WOT?!?! No way dude!! I'm the spare!!!"

Posted by: Bored @ home | October 9, 2007 10:56 AM | Report abuse

-I think Blender Magazine should had been more candid with its readers and named the list "Songs You can't get high to."

-It's great Lindsay finally got something out of rehab.

-People talk about Brit's decision making skills. What about Pam Anderson questionable taste in men?

Posted by: Lisa1 | October 9, 2007 11:07 AM | Report abuse

A few thoughts and observations:

I can't imagine Lilo lasting very long in a place where they roll up the sidewalks at 9 pm and where many of her neighbors would be very conservative, religious people.

That Britney can't find her own house comes as no great shock. I'm surprised she can find her way out of her car.

Is Holly Madison the great, great, great granddaughter of Dolly Madison? And how about those cupcakes!

Whaddaya bet O.J. ran out and bought a fake Rolex when the court ordered him to turn to turn over his gold watch to the Goldman family?

Posted by: niceFLguy | October 9, 2007 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Sting is a bad lyricist? Since when? He's really a very good song writer. Weird, considering that Blender is usually a resonably good music rag. And Neil Pert is an incredible song writer. He actually makes you think about what he's writing, and not just in that "What the heck did he just say?" way. Pff.

Posted by: EricS | October 9, 2007 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Feh...Sting is one of my favorite lyricists. Some of his songs on Brand New Day (especially "Ghost Story") really, really move me. You'll find very few songwriters who are as literate as Sting.

Posted by: 23112 | October 9, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Crap...make that "literary."

Posted by: 23112 | October 9, 2007 12:01 PM | Report abuse

What I hope LiLo was taught in rehab is how to stay clean and sober in "real life"; e.g., eventually being able to stay clean and sober while being around people who aren't, living a regular life, etc. It's a lot easier to walk the walk when everyone around is supportive; not so easy when they're not.

Gwyneth's house looks very sterile. I like the outdoor pic, though.

Posted by: Californian | October 9, 2007 12:35 PM | Report abuse

That's the word. Sterile. I couldn't figure out why it made me feel uneasy. It looks less like a home and more like a concept.

Posted by: Anonimis | October 9, 2007 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Californian & Anonimis: Sterile is the perfect term. It doesn't look like anyone lives there, especially a family with two small children.

Posted by: BooBooKitty | October 9, 2007 2:03 PM | Report abuse

"Aw poor Prince Harry, he's like the Ted Kennedy of the Royal Family."

Really, Bored? Who'd Harry kill?

Posted by: Chappie Quiddich | October 9, 2007 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Please all Harry has done is get drunk. His Uncle Andy spraypainted paparrazi and dated a soft porn star back in the day. What is the younger generation coming to, they just can't cause scandals like their elders.

Posted by: ep | October 9, 2007 4:33 PM | Report abuse

I heard on the radio about Brit picking up the job application for hotel bartender, and I can't think of a better celeb to mix my cocktails -- I know, give LiLo a chance. Those are two gals that I would turn to for anything "fun" and/or illegal.
But... if someone driving in their car pulled up to you and asked for help finding the house attached to the garage that the car came from...wouldn't you possibly think she might be wasted? And wouldn't you possibly want to suggest they get out of that car and into a cab?

Posted by: miss belle | October 9, 2007 9:07 PM | Report abuse

Never seen Hannah Montana on concert, I was not going to see it, Hannah Montana tickets got sky rocked thanks to stupid brokers. But even if I had seen it, I wouldn't buy it. I'd rather wait and see it on DVD. Well suprise I changed my mind and I got 2 tix for the Hannah Montana show I was looking for tickets thanks god there sites like Ticketwood which work as comparators here is the site Hannah Montana Tickets . So any body going to the Hannah Montana concert ??

Posted by: Britney Asbourne | October 15, 2007 7:09 AM | Report abuse

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