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Celebritology 2.0: January 6, 2008 - January 12, 2008

Friday List: The First Crush is the Deepest

No one rocks a painter's cap like Shaun Cassidy. I must have been about six years old when I taped that Shaun Cassidy poster to the wall. Thirty years later, I can't quite remember how the poster or Cassidy's perky little album -- the unoriginal "Da Doo Ron Ron" -- came into my possession. I only remember moving my Bionic Woman poster to the inside of my closet door, so it would be the eyes of Cassidy staring down at me from the wall alongside my bed as I drifted to sleep each night. Before long, Cassidy inspired my first act of rebellion -- I defaced the wall surrounding the poster with cartoon bubbles reading "I love you, Liz" and "I love you, too, Shawn." Barbie and Ken were recast as Shaun and me and soon both sported mini satin jackets and went roller skating with Parker Stevenson, Leif...

By Liz Kelly  | January 11, 2008; 10:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Hanks Urges End to Writers' Strike

Gravity-loving actress Jennifer Love Hewitt visits the 7th Annual awards season Diamond Fashion Show Preview in Beverly Hills. The fashion industry could take a big financial hit if more shows go the way of the canceled Golden Globes. (Reuters) Headlines: Potential Academy Award nominee Tom Hanks anxious to end writers' strike... Pam Anderson denies pregnancy reports... Rosie O'Donnell sends former "View" nemesis Elisabeth Hasselbeck baby gifts... Donda West died of heart disease following surgery... Stella McCartney welcomes third child, Beckett Robert Lee Willis... RCA dumps former "Idol" runner-up Katharine McPhee... Winemakers say Paris Hilton is too "sensational" for their image... James Gandolfini engaged to model girlfriend. Crime Watch: Former "Lost"-ie Michelle Rodriguez freed from jail after serving 18 days of a 180-day sentence... Government says Wesley Snipes didn't pay taxes on $38 million... Would-be Tom Cruise extortionist sentenced to two years probation... Nicolas Cage's naked intruder sentenced to rehab....

By Liz Kelly  | January 11, 2008; 7:49 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Creative Captioning: Inside Joke?

Why are these women laughing? Giddiness? Nerves? Recreational pharmaceuticals? One can only guess what could possibly inspire this level of human emotion from robo-Bride Katie Holmes and Diane I-Never-Met-a-Prom-Tux (or-a-Cheesy-Movie-Script) I-Didn't-Like Keaton. One thing of which we can be sure? Much merriment can be made at their expense. That's where you come in. Go ahead, tickle our funny bone. Point and laugh. Skewer with your best, umm, skewer. Share your creative caption below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Jan. 6 - 12. Honorable mention will be made of the most rabid rant(s) about the inanity of caption contests. (Getty Images)...

By Liz Kelly  | January 10, 2008; 11:32 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Morning Mix: Hurricane Brit Hits East Coast

Tom Hanks arrives at the London premiere of 'Charlie Wilson's War.' (Getty Images) Britney Watch: Brit flees L.A., flies east with photog boytoy (or, is she actually in Mexico?)... Police issue restraining order against Spears... Spears family (pot) says that (calls) Dr. Phil (kettle) went too far (black). Headlines: Katie Holmes calls Nicole Kidman pregnancy "wonderful"... Gisele Bundchen says she's happy to be paid in a variety of currencies, including the underperforming dollar... Woman says she was traumatized by Lindsay Lohan during July car chase... Brangelina make the scene at Chuck E. Cheese over holidays... Do blondes have more fun? Let's ask Amy Winehouse... Hospital cited for endangering Dennis Quaid's newborns. Crime Watch: Uma Thurman may testify in stalker trial... Dionne Warwick's jewels stolen from Rome hotel. Rumor Mill: TMZ: Pregnant Pam Anderson pushing forward with divorce... Nicole Kidman's mom hints that baby is expected in July... Reese Witherspoon...

By Liz Kelly  | January 10, 2008; 8:05 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (41)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Risky Business: Chronicling Cruise

(St. Martin's Press) Ah, the celebrity biography -- usually a quick, dirty read (unless the author is Tina Brown, in which case forget the "quick" bit) designed to reinforce our preconceived notions about the mythology of celebrity without actually bolstering that myth with fact. Which is, coincidentally, the perfect formula for maximum book sales, a spot on the bestseller list and a sit down with Larry King. It would appear that the latest entrant into the genre promises more of the same. Despite a scathing early review from Entertainment Weekly ("a 323-page air sandwich"), Andrew Morton's unauthorized biography of that enigmatic couch-jumping box office battleaxe Tom Cruise hit the radar this week with all the force of a pre-release PR blitz. And, on queue, Cruise is reportedly considering a $100 million lawsuit against Morton and his publisher. Cha-ching! Set to hit shelves next week, Morton's book (if the name...

By Liz Kelly  | January 9, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (29)
Categories:  Celebrities, TomKat  
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Morning Mix: Shocker -- Britney Not Worst-Dressed Celeb

Major Damage: Victoria Beckham, seen here in July, tops Mr. Blackwell's 48th annual worst-dressed list, while Britney Spears is spared. (Getty Images) Headlines: Johnny Depp and Reese Witherspoon top People's Choice Awards... Eminem recovering from pneumonia... Two hot chicks no one has ever heard of named new Bond girls... Katherine Heigl says she's ready to get knocked up... Kate Winslet takes over Nicole Kidman role in "The Reader." Crime Watch: Former "Idol" contestant Jessica Sierra sentenced to rehab... Judge denies Wesley Snipes's request to move trial. Britney Watch: Spears spoke with British accent while in hospital... Cousin Alli Sims denies falling out with pop tart. Rumor Mill: What came between Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn? Perhaps two Russian women?... George Clooney's gal pal cast in upcoming Stephen Soderbergh movie... Will Smith now recruiting for Scientology church?... Royal girlfriend Kate Middleton bumped up to bodyguard status. Say What? "This...

By Liz Kelly  | January 9, 2008; 7:24 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comment Box: Celebs Love (Not So Candid) Cameras

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt went all the way to Namibia to escape the glare of the paparazzi waiting for the birth of baby Shiloh-Nouvel. To further defuse exclusive-seeking paps, they released this official family portrait to People in June 2006. (Getty Images/People Magazine) Washington, D.C.: Why do celebrities complain about a lack of privacy then sell photos of their babies and weddings to OK!, People, Essence, etc.? -- Submitted to last week's Celebritology Live discussion Because they are fickle. Because they like being in control of the message and the medium. Because they are all suffering from multiple personality disorders. Okay, maybe not. Let me try again: The real answer is probably as complex and nuanced as the people we're discussing. Hmmm.... Third time's the charm? Celebrities are people, too, goshdarnit and when something's good for us, we tend to go with it. When it hurts us, we...

By Liz Kelly  | January 8, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (55)
Categories:  Comment Box  
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Morning Mix: It's Official -- Nicole Kidman Expecting

Expectant parents Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in November. (Reuters) Headlines: Publicist confirms Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban expecting... George Clooney says Kidman will be "perfect mother." (Psst... George, she already is a mother.)... Elisabeth Hasselbeck brings newborn son to work... Golden Globes ceremony scrapped... "No Country for Old Men" tops Critics Choice Awards... Katie Holmes wears bath sheet to ceremony... David Letterman loses the beard... Cell-phone throwing supermodel Journalist (who knew?) Naomi Campbell interviews Hugo Chavez for magazine... Jessica Simpson brings boyfriend Tony Romo along for Cabo family retreat... Cookbook author sues Jerry Seinfeld for defamation. Britney Watch: Spears returns home after desert retreat with photog friend (who is reportedly shopping exclusive pix of Brit to tabloids)... Car impounded after she abandoned it on L.A. street... Sis Jamie Lynn preps for GED test. Rumor Mill: Jennifer Aniston moving to New York to be closer to Jason Lewis?... Norah...

By Liz Kelly  | January 8, 2008; 7:49 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (48)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Dr. Phil Gets Real. Real Low, That Is

Dr. Phil McGraw: A friend in need is a friend in greed. (AP) I always suspected Dr. Phil McGraw of being a major league fathead and now I'm sure. His unsolicited Friday visit to Britney Spears at Cedars-Sinai hospital has finally given me the opportunity to properly vent my spleen about the drawling, mustachioed huckster. Okay, so most of us were somewhat riveted by news that Brit had been locked down for a psych evaluation following a Thursday night custody standoff, but it takes a special kind of ego to look upon someone else's misfortune and spin it into an opportunity for self -promotion. Not since the days of Howard K. Stern and his unapologetic use of Anna Nicole Smith to declare himself a celebrity have we seen such chutzpah, such a naked play for press. To be fair, Phil says Britney's mom Lynn Spears asked him to intervene...

By Liz Kelly  | January 7, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Britney Spears, Celebrities, TV  
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Morning Mix: Biographer Claims Cruise Runs Scientology Church

Britney Watch: Spears leaves hospital following unwelcome visit from Dr. Phil... Source says Brit tested free of drugs and alcohol... "Friends" say Spears is bipolar... Singer spotted out and about with photog friend... Kevin Federline wins sole custody of kids. Madonna arrives in the Indian city of Jodhpur on Sunday at the start of a family vacation. (Reuters) Headlines: Biographer says Tom Cruise basically runs Church of Scientology, compares Suri to "Rosemary's Baby"... Screen Actors Guild says members will skip Golden Globes... Reese Witherspoon tops list of most-liked celebrities... Jack Black and wife expecting second child... Goldie Hawn bemoans paparazzi-ridden Aspen... Bill Gates jams with Slash at geek convention. Crime Watch: Police seek extradition of woman who slashed Leonardo DiCaprio with a beer bottle in 2005... Actor Austin Nichols ("John from Cincinnati") pleads guilty to impaired driving. Rumor Mill: Nicole Kidman drops out of film to concentrate on supposed pregnancy......

By Liz Kelly  | January 7, 2008; 7:14 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (48)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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