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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 01/ 2/2008

2008: A Good Year for Britney -- So Far

By Liz Kelly

Jamie Lynn Spears: The face of 2008? (Getty Images)

Let's do the time warp again, shall we?

We're staring down the barrel of a fresh year, rife with possibility. It's a good year for Britney Spears so far. And that's something! This time last year, Brit had already made headlines by falling asleep in a Las Vegas nightclub and would soon plunge headfirst into a year of self-mutilation.

Some well-worn names are already up to their old tricks (La Lohan reasserting her tabloid dominance by making free with the lips in the Med) while others are using the time to pay for last year's transgressions (Kiefer Sutherland, Michelle Rodriguez). Still others have turned our heads by keeping some downright crazy company (Paris Hilton and K-Fed?).

What will 2008 hold? Hard to say. A year ago today Anna Nicole Smith was alive. Lindsay Lohan had the buzz of a promising movie career buoying her off-screen misbehavior. Larry King's guest chair was free of Paris Hilton cooties. Rosie O'Donnell seemed to be permanently perched on "The View's" couch. O.J. Simpson was free to golf his way into obscurity. Amy Winehouse was still an undiscovered trainwreck in waiting. And Jamie Lynn Spears was just Britney's little sister.

Surely, as-yet unforeseen pairings, scandals, arrests and unfortunate photo ops await us in the months ahead. Share your hopes and predictions for 2008 celebrity news (good and bad) below. Your best work will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog.

By Liz Kelly  | January 2, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Miscellaneous  
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Comments

Here's hoping celebrities continue to do stupid, idiotic things otherwise what would I do throughout my work day? Actually work? That's just silliness.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 2, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

"(La Lohan) was first caught snuggling on a sofa, kissing and holding the hand of waiter Allesandro di Nunzio..."

Some people will do anything for VIP table service!

Posted by: niceFLguy | January 2, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

I put $5 odds on one of the troubled pop tarts meeting her end through one means or another. It's the Year of the Backlash.

Posted by: 23112 | January 2, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Hey, K-Fed needs a new rich woman to support him. He's got three kids to support. Britney's money is not going to last forever if she doesn't get back to real work.

Based on the arrests over the holidays, I do not predict celebrities waking up and hiring a driver as so many of us have strongly advised right here. However, I do predict we'll have enough mug shots for another Celebrity Arrest Calendar. Also, Sherri Shephard gets kicked off the View for being even more annoying than Rosie (Barbara Walters expresses shock that turned out to be possible).

Posted by: ep | January 2, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

It's just a jump to the left,
and then a step the riiiiight,
put you hands on your hips
(You OWN hips)
And pull your knees in tiiight,
Well it's the pelvic thruuust
that really drives them insaaaaane,
Let's do the time warp again.

Hey, you started it.

I predict that the pop tart who meets her sadly early demise will be either britney or Amy, or both.

Lindsey Lohan will go back to rehab after hosting a vodka sponsered party in Vegas and getting yet another DUI after crashing her car and seriously injuring herself. This time it will work and she will emerge from rehab and the hospital clean and sober and go on to earn a record number of oscar nominations.

Brangelina will adopt yet another child from a foreign country (South America this time.) Shortly after that, Angie will announce that she never really liked kids all that much - too noisy and needy and that she is leaving the Pitt-Jolies to go back to Billy Bob. Her new tatoo, across her forehead will read, "Billy Bob 4 ever."

And, Bai Ling will appear in public - fully clothed.

Cheers!

Posted by: Sunnydaze | January 2, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Hopes for 2008: world peace. Or the mysterious disappearance of Paris Hilton. Either one is good for me.

Predictions:
*Amy Winehouse=this year's Anna Nicole Smith
*Jamie Lynn Spears' birth video will either be leaked to YouTube or sold to OK magazine. Maybe both.
*Britney will find Jesus and seek a seat in the House of Representatives as a Republican from Louisiana.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | January 2, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

ep, K-Fed has 4 kids, 2 with britney and 2 Shar, but the rest was good.

I would like to see LESS of Larry Birkhead pimping his daughter.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 2, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

*Britney will find Jesus and seek a seat in the House of Representatives as a Republican from Louisiana.

Why can't she be a Democrat??

Posted by: Humpfh | January 2, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Why can't she be a Democrat??

Posted by: Humpfh | January 2, 2008 12:01 PM

Are you a Democrat who wants her or a Republican that doesn't?

My prediction is guaranteed to make you lose your appetite so if you resolved to lose a few pounds in '08 keep reading.

Paris will announce her pregnancy.

She's looking for an angle to get back in grandaddy's will. Why else would she be snuggled up to the human sperm bank?

Posted by: jes | January 2, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

While I hope the celebs get smacked with some common sense and start acting right, I doubt that will happen. Here are my predictions.


Eva will find out that Tony was cheating all along and he's going to have a kid. She will then sell the story to Ok mag.

Brit will purchase her niece or nephew his/her first 40oz. When told the baby needs a bottle.

LiLo will continue to be seen in the tabloids and not on screen.

Amy and Pete will get together after her quickie divorce and will not make it past the honeymoon.

Paris will fall off a table while dancing to "I'm to sexy"

Posted by: petal | January 2, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Paris will fall off a table while dancing to "I'm to sexy"

Posted by: petal | January 2, 2008 12:10 PM

My favorite so far.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 2, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

My celebrity prediction:

Britney will campaign for Mike Huckabee because she read his memoirs about growing up on the Mississippi River.


Posted by: Lisa1 | January 2, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Since I've just received a promotion at work and I'm in a master's degree program, I've decided I need to be far more discriminating this year about the celebrity news to which I give my attention.

No more whiling away whole mornings at the office, reading the hilarious posts of byoolin, et al. I vow not to care if Lilo wrecks another car, or Britney shaves her (named body part here), or Sherri Shepherd gives birth to Dan Rather's love child.

No, I vow to save myself for only the most scintillating Celebritology news, like Anne Heche's scandalous relationship with a third and heretofore undiscovered gender of Hollywood star. Or Howard Stern's secret marriage to Mitt Romney. Or Hayden Panettiere's lost weekend in Vegas with (the elder) George Bush's dog, Millie.

Happy New Year to all!

Posted by: niceFLguy | January 2, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

niceFLguy, your post just made me spit Coke all over my computer screen.

My office mate must think I'm awesome.

Posted by: Magnolia | January 2, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Glad to be of service, Magnolia.

And be sure your office mate knows you are awesome!

Posted by: niceFLguy | January 2, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

Miley Cyrus becomes the first Disney star since Jodie Foster to graduate from high school without imploding.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 2, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

"...Or Howard Stern's secret marriage to Mitt Romney."

But which Howard Stern? The radio shock jock, or the Anna Nicole sycophant?

Posted by: CJB | January 2, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

William Shatner is arrested after crashing the set of the new Star Trek movie, and refusing to leave unless he is given a part.

Posted by: CJB | January 2, 2008 12:49 PM | Report abuse

Alas, I think I gave up the illusion of awesomeness long ago.

My hope of all hopes for 2008: Kim Kardashian fades into obscurity (her show sets new lows for ridiculousness).

Posted by: Magnolia | January 2, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

My 2008 celebrity new wish: Katie (not Kate) Holmes wises up and leaves Tom Cruise.

Posted by: glebe | January 2, 2008 1:11 PM | Report abuse

"Some people will do anything for VIP table service!" - niceFLguy, commenting on LiLo's activities in a Capri restaurant

I predict that by July 2008, LiLo will be servicing the drive-through guy at her local McDonald's in order to get an extra packet or two of ketchup.


Posted by: byoolin | January 2, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

"Miley Cyrus becomes the first Disney star since Jodie Foster to graduate from high school without imploding."

I dunno, I heard something about photos of her rolling around on the floor with some other girl. The story was being reported as sort of a "good girl goes bad" kind of thing, although she said it's just what they do at slumber parties. *hmmm* giggedy

Posted by: 23112 | January 2, 2008 1:29 PM | Report abuse

Having been completely burned out on the Disney "We Need More Cash" tour, Milley Cyrus will drop out of the spotlight, complete high school in a very ordinary suburb of Seattle and emerge under a new stage name "Mary Cashman" fronting a death metal band in 2010.

Kevin Federline will set up a foundation for troubled back up dancers who bang their employers. It will be a colassal failure. He will be revealed as the real father of Jessical Alba's baby.

Jammie Lynn Spears will give birth twice, lose every penny she has in a sucessful lawsuit by Viacom due to her "flagrant deepsixing of our favorite cash cow" and subsequently move back ro the trailer she never should have left in the first place.

Britney Spears will complete her GED and do what she always wanted to do, become a junior admin assistant for Wal*Mart.

Posted by: EricS | January 2, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

Almost forgot...

Lindsey Lohan will engage in her true calling, working in the San Fernando Valley.

The father of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears will change his name to Greuber and move to Kansas City. When asked why, they will say "Would you admit to having spawned either of them?"

Posted by: EricS | January 2, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Brangelina to adopt Jamie Lynn's baby.

Posted by: CR | January 2, 2008 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Predictions for '08:

1. "Prince" Frederick von Anhalt, spouse of Zsa Zsa "Why am I famous again?" Gabor, calls a press conference to announce he is the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby. Inexplicably, hundreds of news outlets attend and run the story on a "Breaking News" crawl.

2. As the writer's strike drags on, Fox launches a new reality show in which Larry Birkhead, Howard K. Stern and Virgie Arthur square off in a series of grueling contests to see who will take custody of Leona Helmsley's dog. Judge Lawrence "Weepin' Larry" Seidlin will preside over the festivities.

3. The surprise ending to "Lost" is inadvertently revealed when it is disclosed that each of the castaways was actually sent to the island as part of a DUI sentence.

Posted by: Jeanne | January 2, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

Eric S., have you ever scene Bruce McDonald's film "Highway 61"? There's a scene in it that the last paragraph of your 1:35 post brings to mind.

The Devil ('Mr. Skin') is talking to Louise, a little girl who is part of a family musical act. She's very earnest, and he's a creep in a black suit and a skinny tie. Maybe this scene happened to Britney.

LOUISE: I'm going on tour this year until I get a record contract, then I'm going to make a video. Then they're going to make a video of us and we're going to be famous. Then Mommy's going to come back and live with us. And when I grow up I'm going to do solo projects and get married to someone famous but I'm not sure who exactly.

MR. SKIN: Who told you all this?

LOUISE: My Daddy.

MR. SKIN: You're Daddy's lying. None of this is going to happen. You know why? Because you're ugly. I'm sorry to say it, but you're an ugly little girl. Just ask anyone.

LOUISE: My Daddy says that I'm pretty and when I grow up I'm going to be a beautiful lady.

MR. SKIN: No. You're going to be an ugly lady. You'll probably be fat and work as a cashier and no one is going to want to marry you.

Posted by: byoolin | January 2, 2008 1:50 PM | Report abuse

er, "have you ever seen..."
Sorry about that.

Posted by: byoolin | January 2, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

"[LiLo] certainly ended her year with a bang" -- ahem. Interesting choice of words!

Posted by: Californian | January 2, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

Can't say that I have byoolin. Sorry.


Ethan Hawke will suddenly find it very hard to get a date when it is outted that he is, in fact, total slime.

Chris Daughtrey, Josh Groban and John Mayer will record an album of duets and triets with special guest apperences by the Jonnas Brothers and Milley Cyrus. It will sell 10,000,000 copies. The rest of the music industry declare bankruptcy, throw it's hands in the air and mumble in disgust. People of good music taste will finish making that hole in the wall with their heads.

Posted by: EricS | January 2, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

John Travolta will finally come out of the closet

Posted by: Magnolia | January 2, 2008 2:24 PM | Report abuse

"...LiLo will be servicing the drive-through guy at her local McDonald's in order to get an extra packet or two of ketchup." -- byoolin, on Lohan's waning popularity

I predict Lilo will capitalize on this change in career direction by releasing a new music single, 'So Down I'm Doin' the Dood at the Drive-through.'

Posted by: Libidinous Johnson | January 2, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

...and to close the loop, LiLo will record her single with Chris Daughtrey, Josh Groban, John Mayer, the Jonnas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Celine Dion. It will sell 20,000,000 copies.

And then the Recording Industry Association of America, having enjoyed some success suing college students who downloaded music, will sue a man heard whistling "So Down I'm Doin' the Dood at the Drive-through" in a men's room at Grand Central Station. The man and the RIAA will settle out of court when he pays them $35 and agrees to stop flinging feces at the windows of the RIAA's head office.

Posted by: byoolin | January 2, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

byoolin is on a roll!

lisa1, the huckster didn't grow up on the mississippi...hope is a fur piece from the river.

i predict:

After 2 months of not being in the news, Britney turns up, claiming to have been abducted by aliens who impregnated her.

Posted by: b | January 2, 2008 2:58 PM | Report abuse

Hit send too soon --

A court-ordered hospitalization follows...

Posted by: b | January 2, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Nicole Ritchie will sell 100,000+ copies of her book on slimming down post-pregnancy.

A new "reality movie" genre will flourish, given that no movies with actual, professionally crafted scripts will be developed in 2008. Suicide notes from film critics will be awash with overblown apologies for the negative reviews they gave for movies (such as Battlefield Earth and Howard the Duck) which now seem pretty good by comparison.

With the writers' strike in full swing, reality TV "stars" will gain ever more attention for their personality flaws, marginal talent, and numbing mental mediocrity, which will lead CNN and network news agencies to report on them the same way that they have about Britney, LiLo, et al. If you think there's a dearth of real news in our news now, just wait until the end of 2008!

Brandon Davis and Lindsay Lohan will become engaged, although ultimately he and Hillary Duff will wind up married. LiLo, her revenge on both complete, will put her past troubles behind her and actually develop into a competent, successful actress AND human being.

Posted by: oregonchick | January 2, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

someone (not known for being up on celeb gossip) just told me that reggie bush was engaged to kim kardashian. Is this for real? did i miss this in the past 2 weeks of avoiding the internet? please tell me this is just a joke.

Posted by: say it ain't so | January 2, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Tom Cruise will come out of the closet with John Travolta.

Posted by: mehitabel | January 2, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Let's face it, if the celebrities all cleaned up their acts we'd have no reason to visit Celebritology. There are some things I'd like to see.

If you are famous for being in a reality show or just for showing up at every club in town then please go away. Now!

If the man you are dating was famous when you were 12 and you had his Tiger Beat picture on your wall, don't marry him. Ever!

If you are the parent of a basket case who has been raised by a Hollywood studio since age 10 please don't offer to write a 'parenting' book. As a matter of fact I suggest you read one!

In a related note, if you are famous, 16 and pregnant do not allow your loving 'parent' to pimp you out to OK magazine.

If you don't want your picture taken by a pack of jackals then don't call said pack with your itinerary.

If you find the entertainment reporters hanging on your every inane word, stop talking!

Posted by: jes | January 2, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

"The surprise ending to "Lost" is inadvertently revealed when it is disclosed that each of the castaways was actually sent to the island as part of a DUI sentence."

Very funny.

Posted by: methinks | January 2, 2008 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs fame pairs up with Michael Bloomberg to run on an independent Presidential ticket. Their slogan: "It takes a couple of dirty guys to do a dirty job." The Bloomberg-Rowe ticket ticket are elected in a write-in landslide. Vice-President Rowe makes tabloid headlines by bringing a pig as his date to the Inaugural Ball. Rowe begs off the bestiality innuendo, saying that he thought he was going out with Britney Spears.

Posted by: Sasquatch | January 2, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

And the BIGGEST NEWS of the 2008 Celebritology year:

Liz Kelly and Russell Crowe ditch their spouses, sail a windjammer to Australia, and raise ponies to be exported to the USA under the "Methinks" brand.

Byoolin becomes LiLo's psychotherapist.

NiceFLguy befriends model inmate Kiefer Sutherland, and wins a cameo on 24. Unfortunately, NiceFLguy's role is that of This Episode's Witless Hostage Who Does What The Bad Guy Wants And Gets Shot Anyway.

Magnolia and mehitabel will become fabulously rich after starting a Closet Liners to the Stars lifestyle storage service.

In trying to juggle graduate school with Celebritology blogging, ep will end up Lost in more ways than one.

Posted by: Sasquatch | January 2, 2008 4:23 PM | Report abuse

predictions from a gossip junkie in nebraska...

jennifer love hewitt's fiance will leave her for "getting too fat" after a dinner of pasta and bruschetta pushes her over 109 on the bathroom scale.

that loud chick on "the view" will get throat cancer, lose vocal chords in invasive surgery

katie holmes stars as long suffering orphan boy smike in a fine line features adaptation of the dickens novel "nicholas nickelby." tom cruise says he's never been more attracted to her, they get pregnant again.

britney spears eats haute cuisine, uses silverware in proper order, then attends worthwhile charity benefit; accompanying paparazzo dies of shock.

kathleen turner finally becomes a man. oh wait.

Posted by: sarita | January 2, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Prediction:
Jamie Lynne Spears will tell odd story of being visited by UFO with large turkey baster in a dream. Turns out Tom Cruise is father of baby (Baby Daddy)
Hope:
That one or all of the celebs who insist on having sex in airplane toilets will either have private parts stuck in evil metal rubbish bin lid or vacuum toilet. Come on, guys! The rest of us have to use that toilet, too! Loo is for poo, not for screw!!

Posted by: POS | January 2, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

predictions for 2008

The actor who played Bobby from the Brady Bunch will appear 46 times on TMZ and 53 times on Inside Edition.

The reintroduction of American Gladiators will become spectacular - when they air the 'celebrity edition' up against the republican national convention. Given a choice between watching W speak to the faithful and Apollo beat Jennie Garth with a foam-wrapped pvc pipe, America finally makes the right decision...

oh... and coutney love will be photographed drunk in LA saying something obnoxious about her dead husband - and whereas it wont make news anywhere else, we'll hear about it here...

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | January 2, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

donnie osmond will become a regular on Entertainment Tonight...oh wait...

Posted by: b | January 2, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Not a prediction, but a news flash:

Spielberg just asked Sasha Baron Cohen to play Abbie Hoffman in "Seven."

Let's hope the script is already written.

Predictions:

Congress will settle the writers' strike.

There will be a drug scandal on one of those many ubiquitous weight loss contest shows.

60 Minutes will do an investigation on just how effective those celebrity rehab centers really are.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | January 2, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Thank you Sasquatch :-)

Posted by: Magnolia | January 2, 2008 5:44 PM | Report abuse

"Byoolin becomes LiLo's psychotherapist."

Now *there's* an inappropriate doctor-patient relationship waiting to happen.

Still, I've never had a prediction or an order from Sasquatch steer me wrong before. (Sas, did your premonition say anything about whether she was wearing those white leather CFM boots I like so much?)

Posted by: byoolin | January 3, 2008 8:01 AM | Report abuse

i have nothing but sympathy for Brittany... my heart goes out to her....

i have been in the same place .. fortunately i didn't have all the publicity that makes matters worse...

i do predict a continuing hard year for her... as she does have the spotlight... and for that i am truly disappointed......

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