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Posted at 8:00 AM ET, 01/25/2008

Morning Mix: Patients Want Angie's Lips, Katie's Eyes

By Liz Kelly

Heath Ledger: Masseuse made four calls to Mary-Kate Olsen... Were Ledger and Olsen dating or just party pals?... Funeral details set.

Headlines: Plastic surgery patients want Angelina Jolie's lips, Katie Holmes's vacant eyes... Stephen Colbert does a spot-on Tom Cruise impression... Troubled singer Amy Winehouse enters rehab... Scarlett Johansson to release debut album in May... Publisher sues Imus for $4 million... Enhanced version of "Lost" season 3 finale to air before new show.

Crime Watch: Danny Glover convicted of trespassing for taking part in 2006 hotel workers union rally.

Spears Watch: More odd behavior reported: Brit showed up at elementary school, said she was picking up attorney's kids... Pal Sam Lufti deposed by K-Fed's lawyers... Magazine says Spears has spawned her own mini-economy.

Rumor Mill: Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins?... Rep says Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are still going strong... Tori Spelling pregnant with second child; cable network renews Tori's reality show for third season... Rep says Diddy has not changed his name to Sean John (or Sir Puffs-a-Lot)... Dom Deluise battling two forms of cancer...

Say What?
"Father Al, I am not just a noise polluter, I am a noise-polluting, diesel-soaking, Gulfstream-flying rock star." -- Bono's confession to former VP and environmentalist Al Gore.

By Liz Kelly  | January 25, 2008; 8:00 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Catching Up With... Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady)

Comments

If so many women want Angelina's lips, Katie's eyes and Jessica's body, why do so many of them end up looking like an extra-cougary Janice Dickinson?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: byoolin | January 25, 2008 9:07 AM | Report abuse

Future News Headline:

Britney Spears Charged With Killing Sister, Stealing Fetus

Posted by: byoolin | January 25, 2008 9:11 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin, that was not the least bit funny. Most of your postings are entertaining, but you stepped over the line with this one.

Posted by: Sterling | January 25, 2008 9:24 AM | Report abuse

Angelina has the grossest lips I've ever seen.

Posted by: Wha? | January 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Hey, what's wrong with Janice Dickinson? Besides all of the obvious stuff.

And ye gods, they've anointed Al. He's turning into environmentalism's Tom Cruise, you know.

Posted by: 23112 | January 25, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

byoolin,
Hahahahahahhaahha, Regarding your 9:07 comment. Funny.

I really hope Amy stays in rehab this time.

Thanks to Stephen for stating another thing we shouldn't take advice from Tom Cruise on.


Posted by: petal | January 25, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

WOO HOO 2 NIGHTS OF LOST NEXT WEEK!!

Posted by: Bored @ home | January 25, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

-I don't think Angelina's full lips are gross,but it is funny that thousands of women are born with full lips and no one makes a fuss over them.

-Booylin, the 2nd post about Britney:not cool.

-Why can't Scarlett Johansson just be happy having a film career and dating Ryan Reynold. No, she just have to try and be a popstar. Damn her.

Posted by: Lisa1 | January 25, 2008 10:10 AM | Report abuse

If you watch at the E! channel shows on Angelina her lips were always full, even in her childhood pics.

Posted by: Witchy | January 25, 2008 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Why do so many actors think they're cut out for the world of music? Probably because they have those extra big, party-sized showers in their 800 square foot bathrooms, and the acoustics are AWESOME.

Posted by: WDC | January 25, 2008 10:16 AM | Report abuse

The trouble that Britney is that in order do come up with something so beyond the pale that it reaches into satire is tough to do.

Speaking Spearses (Spearsi?), new episodes of Zoey 101 begin on Sunday. Try this new party game: After every line uttered by Jamie Lynn, interject "because I'm pregnant" Rocky Horror style. It makes the meta-humor that much more hilarious.

And is wrong for me to say that even the dorky girls on that show are mighty hawt? I thought so. Just don't tell my parole officer I said so.

Posted by: yellojkt | January 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Yello, it's TV. Like the dorks are ever really dorks.

I'm going to guess Bono was kidding around a bit. He does have a wonderfully self-effacing sense of humor about most things.

Posted by: EricS | January 25, 2008 10:24 AM | Report abuse

I recently read an article about Scarlett Johansson visiting the troops as part of a USO tour and have to admit having a tiny girl crush on her now.

My mom is an elementary school teacher, and I think if someone behaving erratically showed up at her school wanting to pick up some random kids he or she didn't know, the police would be called immediately.

Posted by: Magnolia | January 25, 2008 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Speaking as someone with naturally full lips, I'm relieved that lip injections is something that I won't ever have to consider.

My step-mother worked as a nurse for a plastic surgeon, and she says that in one procedure, the doctor makes a small slit on either side of the upper lip, and then carves out a "channel", into which re-hydrated cadaver skin is inserted.

Ladies should learn to love their original lip size, rather than have skid-row inhabitant's leather inserted into their faces.

Posted by: jelo | January 25, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

If Angelina is the new Mia Farrow, does that mean that in 20 years, Brad will do a Woody Allen?

Angie, better stick to adopting boys, just to be on the safe side.

Posted by: e | January 25, 2008 10:29 AM | Report abuse

EricS (are all your pets called Eric?), Bono was definitely kidding - he also said, "[O]il has been very good for me - those convoys of articulated lorries, petrochemical products, hair gel."


Posted by: byoolin | January 25, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

"Why do so many actors think they're cut out for the world of music?"

If pop stars think they can become actors, why not actors thinking they can become pop stars?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 25, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

I heart Bono. He's totally got a sense of humor. And that Colbert imitation of Tom Cruise? Wow. That was impressively Tom-Cruise-like.

Posted by: h3 | January 25, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Uh-oh, there goes Stephen Colbert....Scientologists are going to be out after him now!

Someone needs to start a Scientology Wishes-You-Were-Dead Pool for all these hucksters gunning for the Zenu-phytes. Because though we may laugh now, they'll be laughing all the way to the mothership.

Posted by: rachelt | January 25, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

"Future News Headline:

Britney Spears Charged With Killing Sister, Stealing Fetus"

What's wrong with that? You guys are too sensitive.

Posted by: Byoolin | January 25, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

"Scarlett Johansson to release debut album in May..."

What is it that makes these self-absorbed twits think that since they are (modestly) successful in one artistic realm, that their success will naturally translate into any other creative field they choose? Don't they realize that the skill set for acting is nothing at all like the skill set necessary for singing (or photography, writing, etc.)?

Or is it all just a lark, a momentary diversion with which they fight boredom and continue to cultivate their reputation as a "sensitive artiste?"

Posted by: niceFLguy | January 25, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

byoolin - they don't like it because its too probable....

Posted by: bm | January 25, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

In Fairfax County, there are lists that you give the school of who has permission to pick your kids up if you can't and you have to show id to make sure you match the list. I'm thinking the attorney's kids' school now has a huge picture of Britney with a NO symbol on it.

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | January 25, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Scarlett Johansson releasing an album....
"Don't they realize that the skill set for acting is nothing at all like the skill set necessary for singing"

My god! Next thing we will have truck drivers trying to be computer programmers, waitresses training to be nurses. Stick with the job you started with and never change!!

My hopes are not high for the album but I'll listen to it. She's probably low on cash and needs a second job. It's the recession.

Posted by: mike | January 25, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

"Byoolin": the real byoolin never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER uses a capital 'B' in his name.

What are you, new?


Posted by: Volunteer Doppelganger Patrol | January 25, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Angelina looks just like her mom.

Good think she did not turn out like her Rudy-9ui11iani-supportin' father John Voight.

Posted by: JustAGirl | January 25, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Someone above wondered why, if singers can be actors, why actors can't be singers.

I think what it comes down to is, ultimately, it's up to someone else whether, say, Justin Timberlake is cast in a movie. The singer may say he's interested in acting in a movie, but somebody else, be it the director, writer, producer, casting agent, etc., has to make the decision to cast him.

Now let's say an actor wants to record an album. She can do it if she wants, as long as she has a few songs and the money to pay for musicians, producers and studio time. Yes, someone else would have to decide whether to release the album on a label, but the actor could decide to self-release it.

Basically, all that's standing in the way of the actor and that album is whether she's arrogant enough to think that we are all waiting breathlessly for her musical stylings. I think that's why people don't take it so well when, say, Scarlett Johansson or Lindsey Lohan release albums of their warblings.

Posted by: KLeewrite | January 25, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

In the movie where she does the karaoke bit she really sounds like a karaoke singer. On stage with The Jesus and Mary Chain she actually doesn't sound bad at all. Very soft and sweet. Not sure how her sound will translate to Tom Waits. Something is bound to be lost in translation. hehe...

Posted by: omni | January 25, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Regarding the actors and singing careers, two words: Don Johnson.

Posted by: michael | January 25, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

2 more: William Shatner

Posted by: jes | January 25, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

I think all plastic surgeons except those who do genuine, necessary reconstructive surgery (e.g., burn victims, disfigurement, etc.) should be immediately closed down and replaced with therapists to help people accept themselves. This "perfection" culture is sick -- I can think of no better example than Demi Moore's recent photo spread. Yeah, she looks perfect, but it's all fake. I much preferred Jamie Lee Curtis' photo a few years ago, which showed her real, genuine, yeah-I've-had-kids-and-I-age body.

Posted by: Californian | January 25, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

michael -- more words:
Eddie Murphy
Brittany Murphy
Bruce Willis
Jessica and Ashless Simpons -- o wait, they can't act. o wait, they can't sing. Damn you Joe Simpson!

Posted by: cee_jay | January 25, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

my apologies for additional posts, but i need to make 2 ammendments to my above list:
1. please read the Joe Simpson line with a comma b/w "you" and "Joe"
2. the Eddie Murphy entry was inspired by such ground-breaking classics as "My girl likes to party all the time. Party all the time. Party all the time." However, his faux SNL-hawked album of Buckwheat Sings does not apply. "Wookin punub in all da wong pwaces" is golden.

Posted by: cee_jay | January 25, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Michael, I'll see your Don Johnson and raise you a Philip Michael Thomas (yes, he made an album and it died. Enough said.)

And of course, who can forget David Hasselhoff?

I think we've got the makings of a Friday list. Fantastic!

Posted by: KLeewrite | January 25, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

I'll see your William Shatner and raise Leonard Nimoy (singing "MacArthur Park", even.)

And let's not forget Lorne Greene singing about a bad cowboy on the single "Ringo."

And let's not forget Ringo, either, walking of Regis & Kelly because they wouldn't let him do the 45-minute-long version of "Back Off Boogaloo."

Posted by: Once, tice, fee tines a mady. | January 25, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Californian, I was with you right up until you described Jamie Lee Curtis as having an "I've had kids...body." JLC has a body appropriate to her age, but she never had kids and, I don't know, it seems a little catty to suggest that her body looks as though she has. (I'm hearing a grown-up Heather saying, "Well, with those stretch marks and that sagginess, of course I assumed she'd been pregnant many, many times.)

Posted by: Jamie Lee Fan | January 25, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

"Californian, I was with you right up until you described Jamie Lee Curtis as having an "I've had kids...body." JLC has a body appropriate to her age, but she never had kids and, I don't know, it seems a little catty to suggest that her body looks as though she has."

I thought Jamie Lee squeezed a few out with Christopher Guest. Didn't she?

Posted by: jelo | January 25, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

I see your Philip Michael Thomas raise you one Eddie Murphy and one Brian Austin Green.

Posted by: petal | January 25, 2008 1:05 PM | Report abuse

According to Wikipedia:
"Curtis married actor Christopher Guest on December 18, 1984, becoming Lady Haden-Guest when her husband inherited the Barony of Haden-Guest in 1996, upon the death of his father. The couple have two adopted children, Anne Haden Guest (born 1986) and Thomas Haden Guest (born 1996)."

Posted by: MLF | January 25, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Mea culpa. I didn't mean Jamie Lee Curtis' body was saggy or unattractive AT ALL. I just meant she looked real and normal and healthy, and that photo was a much-needed reality check on an unhealthy ideal of so-called "perfection".

Posted by: Californian | January 25, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Patrick Sawyze had a hit with "She's Like the Wind." A few years ago, VH1 did a show on actors who did albums. There were so many incredibly craptastic ones we have forgotten.

Posted by: yaya | January 25, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

Hey, you just can't leave Bono alone, can you. Starting to sense envy, is it?
It' sounds to me he's being sarcastic, considering all the humanitarian work he does.
You have no sense humor, Liz, learn form byoolin. let others (e.g., byoolin) run this column, you've lost it.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 25, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Let's not forget Richard Harris, who also sang "MacArthur Park."

Got that from "The Worst Rock-and-Roll Albums" (or something like that. You'll know it if you see it. Highly recommended reading.)

Posted by: kleewrite | January 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

I wrote the post at 10:43, I probably should have added...neither is a good thing, Cher's Academy Award included.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 25, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

No, my cat's name is Cougar. I didn't name him. If I had, his name would be "furball" or "fuzzbutt"

I know he was kiddng.

Posted by: EricS | January 25, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

2.25, thanks for the recommendation, but I'm already barely doing the job I have.

Never mind that the folks who thought my Britney-Kills-Sister-Steals-Fetus was over the line would have had *fits* over my reaction to the news that Dom DeLuise has penile cancer.

Posted by: byoolin | January 25, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, thank you for bringing up that topic-which-shall-not-be-named. i'm not a big dom deluise fan (i mean, who was? really? who?) but would you wish that combination of cancers on anyone?? hope he has good insurance.

Posted by: methinks | January 25, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Lets not forget Joey Lawrence of Blossom fame once had an album, the horror....

Posted by: michael | January 25, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, I put a capital b on your name because it was the first word in the sentence. Where did you get your writing skills? Sorry I haven't answered before 5:07pm, but I have a life outside of the gossip column.

Posted by: Sterling | January 25, 2008 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Oh great- I just tuned in to the site and clicked on the Colbert link only to come across this notice: "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Viacom International Inc."

Those litigious Scientology bastards...so glad Gawker was not intimidated by their threats.

Posted by: plamar1031 | January 25, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

Don't date Jessica Simpson. Don't even LOOK at Jessica Simpson. If you do, she will assume you are her soul mate for life and her lawyers will beat you down if you try to break up with her. Hyperbole? Well. . .she's the first bimbo I've read about who sicced her lawyers on what everyone knows is a gossip magazine that merely suggested via a "source" that Tony Romo wanted to dump her sorry rear end. I honestly would NOT put it past her to sue for damages or breach of contract if he did break up with her. Nick Lachey and John Mayer are probably thanking their lucky stars they got away from her before she went postal like this. It will not surprise me if on down the road she has a Britney or Amy-Winehouse-style meltdown. I'm popping popcorn right now to watch the trainwreck!

Posted by: Fab50 | January 25, 2008 6:15 PM | Report abuse

methinks, there is no insurance in the Galaxy good enough for anyone whose best possible outcome is "lost penis to cancer."

Posted by: byoolin | January 25, 2008 6:45 PM | Report abuse

You're welcome, byoolin. I think your commnets have more wit and are more humble than those of Liz, who apparently now thinks too much of herself.

Posted by: Anonymous | January 26, 2008 12:36 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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