Heidi's Hills, Alive with the Sound of Music
Starlets today, so multi-talented. So savvy. So... musical.
Heidi Montag now has become the latest in a growing lineup of reality show dodos to jump the shark into a "singing" career. Or, to be more precise, the busty blond star of MTV's "The Hills" has released a video showcasing her talents -- which so far as I can tell are surgically enhanced and contained in two triangles of fabric about 10 inches south of her chin. Have a look:
We expected no
less more of her after getting this sneak peek last year.
Ah. The production qualities rival that of 14-year-old boy's surreptitious YouTube video of his sister at the beach. The song is reminiscent of early Paris Hilton, her high-pitched tweet similar to that of the almost interchangeable Brooke Hogan. But, ever the fan of a good trainwreck, it is Montag's utter inability to look natural while singing this song that keeps me watching. Behold as she forces her hands to emulate the wings of which she sings, halfheartedly shakes her shimmy and winces every time she comes into contact with the ocean.
Which is interesting given a Feb. 2007 interview with Us Weekly magazine in which Montag prided herself on her performing prowess (Heidi, if you're reading, "prowess" means you can do something real good): "I grew up dancing so there also will be a lot of performing. And a lot of my songs will be very sexual."
Good job, Heidi. Never let it be said that you are a talentless bimbo. I mean, why restate the obvious?
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