Celebritology 101: A Little Inspiration
Because of an ill-timed morning appointment and a pathological inability to plan ahead, I'm kind of flailing for a main piece this morning. While there's nothing I'd like more than to write the Holy Grail of all blog posts -- one that will enlighten, entertain and evoke a measured (yet voluminous) response from the readership -- well, today ain't the day.
In search of a little inspiration, I thought I'd check in with a few frequent celebrity bloggers. What magic, I wondered, does Rosie O'Donnell possess that keeps her blog fresh and entertaining every single day? Where does Courtney Love find the words that pour forth from her MySpace page on a fairly regular basis? And, finally, what could I learn from Kanye West -- that selfless entertainer turned chronicler of
a generation himself?
Rosie's Latest: A Webcam video of herself and Kathy Griffin fawning over one another (You're funny! No you're funny!) as Rosie preps for some kind of unexplained meeting with her "A League of Their Own" co-star, Madonna.
Lesson Learned: Nothing is too mundane for a loyal fan base.
Action Item: Hijack Chris Cillizza's Webcam.
Courtney's Latest: A screed defending her assertion that Kurt Cobain's identity has been stolen and used for massive credit card fraud. Her visceral, take-no-prisoners style is at once terse and meandering: "Christ you people do not give up, get out of my way , ive got work allweek, and cops and feds and forensics and lawyers, and so offer you no further comment here."
Lesson Learned: Spellcheck is for squares and insulting the readers only makes them want more. Masochists.
Action Items: Develop sense of righteous indignation, friend Courtney on MySpace.
Kanye's Latest: The rapper posts a pic of a detailed poster with this headline: "DOPE!!!!!!!!!!! I SPENT A WHOLE 5 MINUTES LOOKING AT THIS, WHICH IS LIKE 5 HOURS FOR A NORMAL PERSON!"
Lesson Learned: There is no such thing as an outsized ego. I, like Kanye, am not a "normal" person and I must budget my time accordingly.
Action Item: Start viewing myself as a superhero who merely walks among the rest of you peons, for whom five minutes is just five minutes. Wrap up this blog post -- in normal person time, I've been writing it for days.
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