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Posted at 8:01 AM ET, 03/ 5/2008

Morning Mix: La Lohan Says She's Back on Track

By Liz Kelly

Keith Richards debuts as the new face of Louis Vuitton. (Bloomberg)

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan says she's "back on track"... Paris Hilton to cameo on "My Name is Earl"... Dinah Lohan's reality show set for summer launch... Dannielynn named heir to mom Anna Nicole Smith's estate... U.N. wants a tougher stance on celebrity drug users.

Spears Watch: Brit teaches more kiddie classes at dance studio... Shar Jackson says K-Fed's expanding waistline is "daddy weight"... A boy for pregnant Jamie Lynn?

Rumor Mill: "Celebrity Rehabber" Jeff Conaway pulls a knife on Noel Gallagher... Paris Hilton's swami was merely a prop... Jessica Simpson buys Las Vegas condo... Ashlee Simpson's rep denies she was drunk during radio interview... Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey dating?... Lauryn Hill to play Rita in Bob Marley biopic?

Just Because: Celebrities Without Necks

By Liz Kelly  | March 5, 2008; 8:01 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Easing Diddy's Transition to the Left Coast


That Jeff Conaway/Oasis story just totally cracked me up. Gotta love the land of celebrity.

Posted by: HAHA | March 5, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Keith Richards looks like luggage. I love the teacup on the suitcase, though.

Posted by: 23112 | March 5, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

I think the caption for the pic should be:

Leather face to sell leather bags.

Posted by: michael | March 5, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Isn't the phrase "celebrity drug user" redundant?

Conaway's lucky he pulled the knife on Noel & Liam. If it had been Keith Richards, the headline would have said "Keef Kills Kenickie In Knife Kerfuffle."

Posted by: byoolin | March 5, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

I was kinda hoping that a link titled "Celebrities Without Necks" would actually show pictures of celebrities without necks. Go figure.

Posted by: Anonymous | March 5, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

keanu reeves & parker posey??


Posted by: methinks | March 5, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Will Paris be playing Jamie Presley's younger, dumber sister? Because that would be an astounding acting challenge.

Posted by: yellojkt | March 5, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

methinks: great Keanu impression!
michael: comment of the day so far.
yello: Paris playing even a minimally sentient being would be "an astounding acting challenge."

Posted by: byoolin | March 5, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Rock legend or not, a man in his sixties should not be wearing black eyeliner.

Posted by: Lisa1 | March 5, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

For the first time in recorded history Noel & Liam are getting along & they get into a scuffle with a Scientology soaked Kenickie?

Posted by: jes | March 5, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

but lisa1, how would we know he was a rock legend without his eyeliner?? otherwise he'd look like a bowery bum.

Posted by: methinks | March 5, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Did Jeff Conaway attribute his actions to Scientology? That might make some sense...

Posted by: surlychick | March 5, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

i sure feel sorry for the person who has to do k-fed's boyzillian!

Posted by: Egads | March 5, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

U.N. wants a tougher stance on celebrity drug users.

Yes, and I want a (dare I say it) PONY.

Posted by: sunnydaze | March 5, 2008 10:08 AM | Report abuse

I think it's really thoughtful of Keith to post for the warning poster for Lohan: keep riding the train you're on, and you too can look like this in a few years!

They both make me gag. Her more than him. Why is she famous??????

Posted by: jaybbub | March 5, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

"So what is next for the starlet? She is getting ready to start shooting the comedy Ye Olde Times with Jack Black and David Arquette. Plus, there's another album in the works."

Why, yes, Lindsay! That's the same track you left before you derailed: starring with unfunny comedians and D-List actors in movies destined for DVD. How far you've come since Disney movies and starring with Jane Fonda.

Posted by: ... | March 5, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

i would hardly call co-starring in Georgia Rule w/fonda and skinny woman from desp. housewives much of a fall, for lindsay. that movie stunk to high heaven.

Posted by: Anonymous | March 5, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

Conaway attributed his kicking the habit to Scientology so I figure it just pushed him the rest of the way over the edge.

Posted by: jes | March 5, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

I really like the Keith Richards billboard. It works for me.

K-Fed looks like a different person now. I never would have recognized him. Just goes to show you that some celebs are real people with the tendency to gain weight.

Posted by: jlr | March 5, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

What is the name of Dinah Lohan's reality show "How to Screw Up Your Kids?" Every week themost parent who acts most responsible gets voted off.

Doesn't the UN have better things to do than deal with celebrity drug users? Isn't there genocide going on in Darfur? Isn't Iran continuing its nuclear program in violation of UN resolutions? Oh wait, it's easier to pass sanctions against celebrities than actual bad countries that make the world unsafe.

Posted by: ep | March 5, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

What evidence do we have that Keith Richards is actually alive? And I mean recent evidence, from the last 10 - 15 years.

Seriously. Lenin looks fresher.

Posted by: e | March 5, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

Must refrain from any "track" jokes...

Teacup? I'm more impressed by the guitar. That is a beautiful Gibson.

Wow, I'm kinda suprised it wasn't Ghallager pulling the knife.

Posted by: EricS | March 5, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

what is up with keith's hair? he looks like he's doing one of thoese home highlighting kits and has pulled some hair through the holes in the shower cap, but not all.

Posted by: melissamac1 | March 5, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

I gotta say, as a dad with young kids, I can sympathize with Federline. It gets really easy to snack on stuff at random times when you're also watching the boys, and Shar's right, you don't think about your own diet and exercise in those circumstances.

Posted by: 23112 | March 5, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

That Conaway guy is such an a**hole. Get a life.

Posted by: jEN | March 5, 2008 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Why on earth would someone give Dinah Lohan her own show?! Sounds boring to me.

Who is Parker Posey? Did her parents hate her, what a horrible name.

Posted by: no_bs_4me | March 5, 2008 11:07 AM | Report abuse

If I saw that giant poster of Keith Richards in person I would have nightmares for a week straight. What were the Vuitton ad people thinking --- or smoking???

Posted by: CollegePark2 | March 5, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Parker Posey is "Queen of the Indies"

Daughter of Chris Posey, and named after 1950s model Suzy Parker. Pic of Suzy here:

What's scary is she is an accomplished mime. Egads, who knew.

Posted by: omni | March 5, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

She's not call the queen of indie movies for nothin'.

Posted by: Who is Parker Posey? | March 5, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

K-fed used to be a dancer. Quitting your exercise routine means packing on pounds. Poor kid. All he needs is a nutritionist and a morning run.

Posted by: I can't believe I'm doing this | March 5, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

I can't believe - he also needs a boyzillain.

Posted by: kfed | March 5, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

parker posey and keanu...
swayze with cancer...

it's a point break armageddon!!!

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | March 5, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

To Liz Kelly:

Sorry I even care about this, but Lohan's mother's name is Dina, not Dinah. (Maybe you purposely misspell it since you do it every time? Heaven knows, she deserves the dig.)

OK, back to the real world, or what passes for it. . .

Posted by: alexandria | March 5, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Could we just refer to her at Lindsay's Mom? I mean, isn't that really the only reason we know who she is. And, why she's getting a reality show.

Posted by: Anonymous | March 5, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Actually Dina is a nickname. Her real name is Donata.

Posted by: omni | March 5, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Sign me up for the dissenting opinion again, but I think that Keith Richards ad looks so cool.

Posted by: Sigh | March 5, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Why must Paris Hilton infect one of my favourite TV shows?

If she shows up in ANY FORM on Lost, there will be repercussions. Oh yes....repercussions.

I won't stop watching but I'll think of something!!>:-<

Posted by: Bored @ home eating lunch | March 5, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Oh, but if Paris Hilton shows up on Lost you just know some terrible fate awaits her. Something even better than Nikki and Paulo! Just think of all the hideous ways people kick it on Lost and insert Paris in any one of those scenarios. Isn't it delicious just contemplating it?!?

Posted by: alexandria | March 5, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Keith is on record as saying he cuts his own hair...

Posted by: johndinhouston | March 5, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

That Patrick Swayze story certainly has grown legs...Hope it's not true.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | March 5, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

"Keith Richards is timeless and ageless." Whoever sold Louis Vuitton that line of crap deserves to be King of Marketing.

Posted by: LLL | March 6, 2008 12:14 AM | Report abuse

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