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Posted at 6:55 AM ET, 03/31/2008

Morning Mix: No Weekend Wedding for Brangelina

By Liz Kelly

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony arrive at Sunday evening's premiere of the Martin Scorsese's Rolling Stone's documentary 'Shine a Light' in New York. (AP)

Headlines: Madonna says she'd like to save Britney Spears... Leonardo DiCaprio's backyard basketball case headed for court... Jason Bateman to direct Fox comedy pilot... Paul McCartney vacations with rumored girlfriend... Dad Michael unhappy about Lindsay Lohan's role in Manson movie... Racy pics of a pre-George Clooney-ed Sarah Larson emerge... Wyclef Jean asks Haitians to give up crime... Janet Jackson's waist is teensy... Keith Richards says he still smokes pot.

Rumor Mill: Sources say Brangelina did not marry Saturday in New Orleans... Heath Ledger may have fathered love child, says uncle... Chris Brown says he's not dating Rihanna... Donald Trump wants Ashley Dupre for reality show... Ashlee Simpson not welcome back to "SNL"... Jamie Lynn Spears registers for baby booty... Play it again, Madge: Madonna keen to remake "Casablanca"?

Say What?
"I had a poster of Ashton when my mom and he met, so I can appreciate the fact he is a handsome man, but he is my stepdad." -- Rumer Willis

By Liz Kelly  | March 31, 2008; 6:55 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Dimmed Stars: Not Gone, But Mostly Forgotten


Madonna's 'Casablanca': that high-pitched sound you hear is Humphrey Bogart doing 10,000 r.p.m..

Face it, Madge: It doesn't take much to see that you can't act worth a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 7:58 AM | Report abuse

Madonna saving Britney: wouldn't it be awkward to be 26 years old and get adopted by a woman you once French-kissed on stage?

But, if it keeps 'em off the streets, I'm all for it.

Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 8:05 AM | Report abuse

Stop the presses!!!!! Keith Richards still smokes pot???? Who knew?? Who would have suspected???

Posted by: ep | March 31, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

ep, I think Keef's been hanging around that Willie Nelson again. The guy's a bad influence.

Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

"Keith Richards still smoking pot" is not news. It must have been a slow day at the Daily Mail.

Posted by: Lisa1 | March 31, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Per Janet Jackson -

Yes her waist looks teeny in that dress - it's superbly designed to do that.

It's black (slimming) and that broad black belt *is* the corset they're looking for. Both because it's cinched and because of it's width - it's not like she's wearing some tiny little strip sitting loosely around her waist...

Posted by: Chasmosaur | March 31, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

I think it would be more newsworthy if Keith Richards announced that he'd STOPPED smoking pot. Then I'd really be shocked.

Posted by: Magnolia | March 31, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Keith Richards says he "can't even remember what happened yesterday." Well, geez, I have enough issues with memory, but I get 6 hours of sleep and have a 4-year-old kid. If I could only blame pot, I think I'd be a lot more rested!

But I *do* love Keith Richards. There is something about a person who should have died years ago makes you wonder "how is he still alive? Did he make a pact with the devil?"

Posted by: glebe | March 31, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

The Heath Ledger love child tidbit is just sad. If the mother wasn't going to make a claim before his death, she shouldn't make one now.

Posted by: glebe again | March 31, 2008 9:22 AM | Report abuse

That whole "Keith Richards smokes pot" is like an SNL version of Jeopardy answer to the category of "Really obvious statements."

The Pope is Catholic or the sun is hot would also have counted.

Posted by: Bored @ work | March 31, 2008 9:22 AM | Report abuse

Was Rob Lowe in town this weekend? I saw a Reston Limo (on of those limo buses) on the way to Dulles with a small paper sign on the side that said Mr. Rob Lowe.

Posted by: Arlington, VA | March 31, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

Shouldn't the headline read

"Heath Ledger may have fathered ANOTHER love child..."

Mathilda is a "love child" too, isn't she?

And maybe the schools are different in Australia, but the story says that this happened when Heath Ledger was in GRAMMER school. Was he only 12? Ew. Hopefully they meant secondary school. Even then, don't they have stautory rape laws in Australia - a 25 year old with a 17 year old is just creepy.

I am quickly comeing to dismiss anything that the Ledger family has to say - they sound like a bunch of yokels.

Also, is it possible that SNL doesn't want Ashlee Simpson because she is a no-talent wannabe?

Posted by: sunnydaze | March 31, 2008 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Something about that Janet Jackson story just makes me feel sorry for her. What a life.

Posted by: h3 | March 31, 2008 10:00 AM | Report abuse

"Is it possible that SNL doesn't want Ashlee Simpson because she is a no-talent wannabe?"

How, then, does one explain Horatio Sanz?

Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, touche.

Posted by: unmute | March 31, 2008 10:26 AM | Report abuse

SNL needed a new fat guy.

Posted by: 23112 | March 31, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

The Janet Jackson article praised Janet on her discipline, etc in getting herself back in shape.
I suspect liposuction myself. How else could the transformation have happened so fast and without the sagging skin?

Posted by: jlr | March 31, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

I heard/read somewhere that Janet Jackson has had a couple of ribs removed as part of her "weight loss" program.

Posted by: still | March 31, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse


Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Madonna looks as though she's been in Botox hell. What's wrong with her face? And Casablanca - puhhhhhleeeeeeze. Saving Britney? I laughed until I peed.

Posted by: mainer | March 31, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

"SNL needed a new fat guy.

Posted by: 23112 | March 31, 2008 10:28 AM "

Keenan is the fat guy also.

Posted by: Anonymous | March 31, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Wow, Keif still smokes pot? Next thing they'll us is that he's still in the Rolling Stones.

Posted by: EricS | March 31, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

i suspect in an attic somewhere there is a portrait of keef in which his image has progressively gotten younger and more attractive over the years. Heck, by now, it may be a portrait of a beautiful little baby....

Posted by: b | March 31, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Keith Richards STILL smokes pot?!- I'm shocked- not.

Not a hater but I think that Janet pic is deliberately misleading- like she picked a dress too big for her present frame and cinched the belt to make it look like she had the tiniest waist in the world.

Oh for the love of God, so what if Sarah Larson got drunk and had some fun in Vegas- I did too before I got married and settled down. Now I'm a semi-responsible mother of two living in the 'burbs. She's young & dating George Clooney, he clearly doesn't care what she did in the past- why should we.

Madge, stick to raising your own kids- that frickin' Britney is a grown adult w/two kids. Unlike George Clooney's beloved, she needs to stop partying, grow up and accept the responsibility that comes with being a parent.

Posted by: plamar1031 | March 31, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

sunnydaze, have to agree on the Ledger family. The uncles keep coming out with statements but then it's followed up by bad blood with Heath's Dad. Why are they even talking to the media??

Posted by: Anonymous | March 31, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Why do people post such negative comments towrard Janet Jackson's weight. Sounds like jealousy to me. She lost weight and looks great. This is why every miserable fat woman or ugly woman post comments stating oh she had surgery. Don't hate!! I guess misery loves company.

Posted by: Jahmerikkka | March 31, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

"i suspect in an attic somewhere there is a portrait of keef in which his image has progressively gotten younger and more attractive over the years. Heck, by now, it may be a portrait of a beautiful little baby...."

Ten bucks says it looks just like Brian Jones.

Posted by: byoolin | March 31, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

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