The Animated Britney Spears
Leave it to Britney Spears to figure out the way out of her crazy train life all by herself. The rest of us (and by that I mean "I") tend to react to mental breakdowns by retreating into a fetal position and finding comfort in "Alice" reruns or Peppermint Schnapps. But leave it to Brit to hit upon a perfect solution -- one that keeps her persona in the public eye, while leaving her flesh-and-weave self free to try on outfits all day in her palatial bedroom suite.
Sensing that perhaps a wobbly pole dance and a touch of mania around the eyes don't make for the best marketing tools, Brit has given her go ahead to allow an animated version of herself to appear in the video for her new single, "Break the Ice." And, wowza!, this new ani-Britney is the girl we all knew was lurking inside the pop tart, drugged into submission by Frappuccinos and Taco Bell runs. Ani-Britney is statuesque, with a flowing mane of blond locks that float around her like a protective aura of superstardom. Her body is taut and, as seen in the screen grab to the right, there is an intelligence and self-awareness in ani-Britney's eyes. She smiles ironically at us, defying us to question her obvious superiority.
If only she'd thought of it sooner. What wear and tear could have been spared to the real Spears if ani-Britney had been the over-sexualized pre-teen dancing in that hallway? And would strong, defiant ani-Britney have really gone for Kevin Federline, whose own animated avatar would probably resemble "Scooby Doo's" Shaggy? And, surely, ani-Britney would have delivered a flawless performance at last year's VMAs -- not only cementing her reemergence on the pop scene, but using her superpowers to break up the fight between Kid Rock and Tommy Lee.
At last, Spears is on the right track. If only ani-Britney could make court appearances.
This column was written by me, Liz Kelly. (I'm the one on the left.)
| March 12, 2008; 10:44 AM ET
Categories: Britney Spears, Celebrities
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