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Celebritology 2.0: April 6, 2008 - April 12, 2008

Friday List: Celeb-Reality Dream Team

Show me a tired out, unemployable D-list celebrity and I'll show you a reality show in the making. Names that once seemed bound for a comfortable level of stardom, but somehow fell short of the mark and were relegated to in-store appearances at suburban malls or, like, robbing dry cleaners. All of that changed when "The Osbornes" ushered in a new era of TV voyeurism: celeb-reality. From Ozzy's home life to Danny Bonaduce's on-camera self-destruction there is a show for every flavor of fan, each one a little more demeaning than the last. Watch the time capsule of red flags that is the "Anna Nicole Smith Show," help Bret Michaels and Flavor Flav find love, get in on the ground floor of Britney and K-Fed's "Chaotic" relationship, watch Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston's drug-fueled daily life, behold as Gene Simmons queues up his kids for years of therapy, amaze yourself...

By Liz Kelly  | April 11, 2008; 9:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (64)
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Vanilla Ice Arrested in Domestic Dispute

Headlines: Britney Spears gives $25,000 to "Idol Gives Back"... CBS cancels "Secret Talents of the Stars"... Were Beyonce and Jay-Z dissed by the media?... Artie Lange quits Howard Stern show after violent run-in with assistant (NSFW audio)... New "Gossip Girl" promo -- too hot for TV?... Nude photo of French first lady (NSFW) Carla Bruni sells for $91,000... Amy Winehouse's freakish thigh -- the real deal? Crime Watch: Vanilla Ice arrested in domestic dispute... Mischa Barton gets probation for DUI... Arrests made in fake George Clooney brand case. Rumor Mill: Nicole Richie's mom claims three-month-old Harlow is already talking... Pam Anderson and Lauren Conrad expected at White House Correspondents dinner... Chris Daughtry accused of plagiarism. Well Said "I'm in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed." -- Neil Patrick Harris on Britney Spears's "How I Met Your Mother" cameo Say What? "It looked...

By Liz Kelly  | April 11, 2008; 8:14 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (66)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Melanie Brown's Catty Couture

The catty Melanie Brown. (Reuters) Look out Christian Siriano, there's nothing fiercer than animal print. Little did I suspect when I published the eyeball-singeing pic of Melanie Brown and hubby Stephen Belafonte earlier this morning that Mel's affinity for leopard print was more than a passing fancy. Well, thanks to a quick perusal of the British papers over my morning coffee, I'm astounded -- astounded I tell you -- to discover that Mel has actually designed a line of leopard print clothing aptly, yet obviously, named "Catty Couture." "I'm so excited! It got pulled together quickly, really quickly," said Brown to People magazine, yet again proving how easy it is to design clothes and combating the dangerous "Project Runway" culture that has promoted the silly idea that actual schooling in clothing construction and theory are the trademarks of the best designers. Possibly in a bid to compete with fellow...

By Liz Kelly  | April 10, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (21)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Ashlee Simpson Engaged

For Spice Girl Melanie Brown and husband Stephen Belafonte, love means never having to wear matchy-matchy clothes. (Reuters) Headlines: Sean Penn and Robin Wright halt divorce proceedings... Mike Myers will host MTV Movie Awards... Elton John helps Hillary Clinton raise $2.5 million... Ashlee Simpson engaged to boyfriend Pete Wentz... Angelina Jolie talks about her pregnancy for the first time... Bret Michaels sued for damage to "Rock of Love" mansion... Actor Stanley Kamel ("Beverly Hills 90210," "Monk") found dead. Crime Watch: David Beckham ticketed for traffic violation... Barron Hilton's license suspended for a year in DUI case. Rumor Mill: Katie Couric may leave CBS before her contract expires... Rehabbed Pat O'Brien returning to "The Insider"... Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged?... Naomi Campbell hurled racist slurs at Heathrow cops... Paris Hilton shocks Liverpudlians when she checks into budget motel... Britney Spears designing line of kids' t-shirts?... Heather Mills sends hotel...

By Liz Kelly  | April 10, 2008; 7:53 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (52)
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Reality Check: 'Rock of Love 2'

As we enter the final few days before Sunday's "Rock of Love 2" finale, I just can't go on sitting idly by, not comment, as I watch this season surpass the first. No mean feat considering the machinations of stripper/chief head-tripper Heather and the reliably ill-spirited Lacey. (If you haven't watched up to Sunday's most recent show, please direct your attention to Post Rock for the latest in actual rock MUSIC.) Beware: There are spoilers here. After Destiney's dismissal on Sunday night, our '80s hair band bachelor, Bret Michaels, is down to a surf-inflected silicon-injected stripper (Daisy) and "TV hostess" Ambre, who somehow seems out of place not only in this show, but in her "my first skank groupie" outfits. Ultimately, one will win. But I'm here to say that we, the viewers, are the real winners. No matter who ends up rocking Bret's world ultimately, aren't we all just...

By Liz Kelly  | April 9, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  TV  
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Morning Mix: Angelina Does D.C.

Angelina Jolie at Tuesday's Council on Foreign Relations meeting in Washington. (Reuters) Headlines: Angelina Jolie, in D.C. with sons Maddox and Pax, pushes education for Iraqi children... Doctor says Patrick Swayze responding well to cancer treatment... Magazine names Ellen DeGeneres "Most Influential Gay Woman" in America... Tommy Lee Jones calls Texas border fence "bull[bleep]"... Toni Braxton hospitalized for chest pain... Adam Carolla eliminated from "Dancing With the Stars"... Kylie Minogue says her breast cancer was initially misdiagnosed... Pregnant Tori Spelling models a bikini... Daniel Radcliffe to make nude Broadway debut in September... John Cleese offers his speechwriting services to Barack Obama... Joan Rivers calls Victoria Beckham "arrogant"... Former bodyguard suing Lindsay Lohan for unpaid wages... Los Angeles police chief says proposed paparazzi law would be unenforceable... Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban didn't buy L.A. home, says publicist. Crime Watch: Priest pleads guilty to stalking Conan O'Brien... Pete Doherty jailed...

By Liz Kelly  | April 9, 2008; 7:55 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
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Insta-Poll: Rating Kathie Lee's Return

Kathie Lee Gifford (right) goes for it by making one of her signature faces on day one of her new 'Today' hosting gig. Co-host Hoda Kotb wisely keeps her face hidden. (AP) The television landscape is littered with second acts. Like so many wet spaghetti noodles thrown against the wall, some slide (Tony Danza, Donny Osmond, Maury Povich and Connie Chung) while others manage to hang on long enough carve out a new career (Ellen DeGeneres, Howie Mandel). Will Kathie Lee Gifford stick or slide? As Tom Shales so eloquently put it in this morning's Style critique, Gifford's return to daytime TV as host of the fourth hour of the "Today" show was "a windy, dithery mess with virtually no portents of improvements to come." Did we expect any more from the woman who mad-libbed her way through 15 years as Regis Philbin's mouthy, face-making, sweat shop-enabling appendage? Probably...

By Liz Kelly  | April 8, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (46)
Categories:  TV  
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Morning Mix: Olsen Twins Wear Masks to Wedding

Gwyneth Paltrow arrives to the Food Bank for New York City 5th annual Can-Do awards dinner. (AP) Headlines: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban buy $7 million Los Angeles home... Minnie Driver expecting baby in August... Freakish Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen wear masks to wedding... Mystery caller urged George Clooney to dump girlfriend... Ryan Seacrest donates his paycheck to "Idol Gives Back"... Release of Tom Cruise's "Valkyrie" postponed to 2009... Pam Anderson signs on for reality "observational documentary" show... Joey Fatone and Melanie Brown to co-host TLC show... Jasmine Guy ("A Different World") files for divorce... Rob Lowe accuses former employee of extortion. Crime Watch: Mischa Barton pleads no contest to DUI charges to avoid jail time... Jury says Princess Diana's death was "unlawful." Spears Watch: Britney to promote Danish furniture line? Rumor Mill: Orlando Bloom wins "Prince of Persia" leading role... Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford broke up via...

By Liz Kelly  | April 8, 2008; 8:15 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
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Comment Box: Saving Naomi, Loving Clooney

On Friday, I asked readers to send in suggestions for curing Naomi Campbell of her rage-a-holism. This intervention was prompted by her most recent violent encounter: the supermodel, best remembered for her creative use of cell phones as weapons, was arrested for assaulting a police officer at London's Heathrow airport. The top five suggestions: 5. Make her compete to be Paris Hilton's new BFF. -- s-bomb 4. Work for a year as Rosie O'Donnell's nanny. -- CJB 3. Frank Constanza's "Serenity Now" mantra. -- 44west 2. Stoning. By jewel-encrusted cell phone. -- Katyola 1. Encase her in Nerf or Hit her with the adrenaline spike. -- byoolin Bonus Winner for best shameless self-promotional plug: My book, The Anger Cure, has the answer for her if she would only read it and follow the advice. -- Kathleen O'Bannon, CNC --- Why is the Washington Post using Wikipedia as a reliable source...

By Liz Kelly  | April 7, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
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Morning Mix: Report -- Beyonce and Jay-Z Wed in New York

Miley Cyrus and Billy Crystal take the stage at last night's taping of 'Idol Gives Back' in Los Angeles. (AP) Headlines: Charlton Heston dead at 84 | Post Appreciation... Prince Philip released from London hospital after being treated for infection... L.A. Times retracts false Tupac Shakur story... Jessica Simpson recreates vintage Esquire cover... Leonardo DiCaprio buys green New York apartment... Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames team up for sci-fi thriller... Anna Nicole Smith opera set for London stage. Crime Watch: Chris Rock testifies in Anthony Pellicano trial. Spears Watch: Jamie Lynn spends 17th birthday eating at a chain restaurant, shopping at a big box store. Rumor Mill: Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles married Friday in New York... Mary J. Blige congratulates the couple on stage... McCain supporter Heidi Montag not registered to vote... Post-rehab Mary Carey spotted sipping wine....

By Liz Kelly  | April 7, 2008; 8:05 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
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