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Posted at 12:45 PM ET, 04/ 1/2008

Celebrity Scribes: An '08 Reading Guide

By Liz Kelly

One need look no further than Paris HIlton's music or Rosie O'Donnell's art to find the proof that celebrities are multi-talented bundles of creativity. And, luckily for us, several celebs will be following memoirist Tori Spelling into the book store over the next several months. Look out James Patterson: Summer beach reading is getting an infusion star power. Below, the upcoming works are listed -- not chronologically -- but in order of least anticipated to most.

Author Alec Baldwin will speak at the upcoming BookExpo America. (AP)

10. "Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide to Keeping Up with the Hiltons" by Perez Hilton
The only book that I'd rather read less than one written by a chimpanzee, the infamous blogger's upcoming book raises this question: How much more of this guy can we take?

9."Me Cheeta" by Jiggs
The 75-year-old "Tarzan" co-star has outlived both Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan and will reportedly recount his Hollywood career in the upcoming memoir. The New York Daily News reports that excerpts will be published in next month's Esquire, but no other details are available. (My April Fools hackles are going up.)

8. "Here's the Story" by Maureen McCormick
The oldest Brady daughter (Marcia Marcia Marcia) follows Barry Williams' kiss-and-tell memoir "Growing Up Brady" with her own version of life on the set of one of America's most iconic shows.

7. "Estefan Kitchen" by Gloria and Emilio Estefan
There's nothing like a little Miami Sound Machine to ruin my appetite. But if you're a fan of Estefan's catchy Latin riffs, perhaps you'll also fall for her kitchen tips and culinary prowess.

6. "Randy Jackson's New You Plan"
The latest entrant into the celebrity health and fitness field, the diabetic dawg, who underwent gastric bypass surgery in 2003, promises to share his tips for getting in shape.

5. "Up Till Now" by William Shatner with David Fisher
He's everywhere -- primetime TV, ads, my dreams -- but still we haven't tired of the man who once wore the mantle of James Tiberius Kirk. This new autobiography charts the humble actor's ascendancy to superstardom.

4. "The Way I Am" by Eminem
Finally, we'll find out if this one-time ruler of the rap charts has spent his seclusion wisely. (Wisely defined as a thorough self-examination of Em's alleged affair with "8 Mile" co-star Kim Basinger.)

3. "Through the Wire: Lyrics and Illuminations" by Kanye West
Listen, it's Kanye's world and we just live in it. His book will doubtless open our eyes to this man's genius and immediately score a spin-off movie deal in which the humble actor can portray himself in a performance so poignant he'll sweep the 2010 Academy Awards.

2. and 1. "A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce" by Alec Baldwin So good, I'll read it twice. We may have been denied the wisdom contained in the indefinitely delayed Lynn Spears parenting book, but luckily 2007 father of the year Alec Baldwin has stepped in to fill the void with his own musings on surviving a family break-up intact.


More Upcoming Celebrity Books

By Liz Kelly  | April 1, 2008; 12:45 PM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Next: Morning Mix: Beyonce & Jay-Z Headed to the Altar?


Advance word on "Me Cheeta" by Jiggs is that he throws feces *everywhere*.

Posted by: byoolin | April 1, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Isn't Julie Andrews' book supposed to be super-controversial or something?

Posted by: unmute | April 1, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Which of these are the April First selections of the Fools Book Club? All of them I hope.

Posted by: yellojkt | April 1, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

..uuhhh...Why is Kanye West taking the title of his book from a Peter Gabriel song?

Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Is it wrong that I hope Shatner's autobiography will be just as good as Bruce Campbell's?

Posted by: michael | April 1, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

The good news for Parrotheads out there is that Jimmy has a new book coming out.

Posted by: jes | April 1, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

From the dedication to his daughter in Alec Baldwin's book:


"Once again, I have made an fool of myself trying to get to you to read this book. You have made an fool out me of for the last time.

"Three letters: ABA. A, Always, B, Be, A, Answering. Always be answering. Always be answering. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's read this book or get your [behind] straightened out.

"You read it or you get hit with it. Decision. Have you made your decision to read the book? And action. AIDA. Pick up the damn book. You think I wrote it because I've got nothing better to do? I could be tagging random walls along the street, but I'm writing this book. I don't care that you're twelve or eleven or whatever, are you big enough to pick it up? I'm a good writer, and you're a pig.

"I don't give a hoot. You think this is abridged? You think this is abridged, you thoughtless pain in the behind? AIDA. Get mad you daughter-of-a-[not-a-nice-name-for-Kim-Basinger]. Get mad. You know what it takes to read my book? It takes twenty minutes a day for a week to read my book. Go and do likewise. The book is on the nightstand, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. You better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me. Pig. Oh, also, tell your mother I said "Go write one yourself." This is Dad, ring me back if you want an autographed copy."

Posted by: byoolin | April 1, 2008 2:08 PM | Report abuse

perez hilton--ugh! i thought he was cool for about 2 seconds, then he starts BEFRIENDING his subjects! then he wore those disgusting shorts at the MTV awards. it's galling that he has a career.

and randy jackson is in shape? still looks like a pantload to me...

Posted by: wats | April 1, 2008 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Kanye wrote a whole book? That's like a regular person just writing a blog posting.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | April 1, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

I think these are books that people don't want to read. The Julie Andrews book sounds wonderful.

Posted by: MGC | April 1, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

drat, rivercityroller beat me to the kanye "what is time but an illusion" post.

Posted by: methinks | April 1, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Hey, if people without talent can be a singer (Paris Hilton), or an actor (Paris Hilton) then I guess a writer (damn, Paris Hilton again).

If any of them (except the Julie Andrews book) make it on the NYT best sellers list, I will burn my library card.

Posted by: jake e. poo | April 1, 2008 3:18 PM | Report abuse

the Estefan Kitchen might be great--they are Miami Cuban and I am sure have a lot of great recipes. If there is not too much stupid text, might be interesting.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

I would note that perez Hilton actually graduated from NYU's Tisch School, so he is not a moron. Intolerable, maybe, but not illiterate.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Damn, Esquire will publish anything...guess we knew that, though.

Posted by: musicgeek | April 1, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Below are links to a couple interesting reviews of Julie Andrews' autobiography. It only covers her life till 1963, when she came to Hollywood (maybe there'll be a Vol. II someday?). The biggest bombshells are that her mother's parents both died of syphillis (Julie's grandpa was a cad, to put it mildly) -- and that when Julie was 14, her mother revealed that her original father Ted Wells was not her biological father; Andrews does not name him, however, and justifiably disrespects him, based in part on his subsequent behavior toward her. Her stepfather (whose surname Julie was forced to take) was a brute and potential molester of her. Impressive that she surmounted daunting obstacles and flourished artistically, and the reviewers indicated that despite these challenges in life her book does not possess the self-pitying tone it well could've.

Posted by: mehitabel | April 1, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

jake e. poo, let's not forget Paris' newest and best ability: face-planter. Follow that 'takes a tumble' link in Liz Kelly's previous post and you'll laugh and laugh and laugh.

Posted by: byoolin | April 1, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Liz, if all these are April Fool's jokes, then you have proven that one cannot do parody anymore, because every one is entirely credible.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

"The only book that I'd rather read less than one written by a chimpanzee, the infamous blogger's upcoming book raises this question: How much more of this guy can we take?"

I reached that limit way before his name kept getting mentioned, I knew what he looked like and he started showing up to events in DC

Posted by: petal | April 1, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

anon at 3:33, all the ones I checked on Amazon have available listings.

Posted by: MGC | April 1, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Liz, this comment isn't about this post, but if you haven't seen these Lost recaps, you are really missing something. My favorite from Season 2: "Then Sayid breaks out the torturing scrunchie..."

Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2008 10:42 PM | Report abuse

Alec Baldwin is a scream. I'm *totally* going to read THAT book!

Posted by: jaybbub | April 2, 2008 10:29 AM | Report abuse

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