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Posted at 7:49 AM ET, 04/25/2008

Morning Mix: Tom Cruise Returning to 'Oprah'

By Liz Kelly
Friday

Headlines: Couch-jumping Tom Cruise returning to "Oprah"... Madonna premieres new songs on MySpace... Carmen Electra engaged... Guillermo Del Toro to direct "The Hobbit"... Nick Lachey to host "High School Musical" reality show... Ice-T producing documentary on storied pimp Iceburg Slim... Ne-Yo to appear on "All My Children"... Obama backer Kim Kardashian headed to the big screen... Donny and Marie Osmond take regular gig at Vegas casino... "Real Housewife" Bethenny Frankel appeared topless in '90s horror flick.


Rock a bye, baby: Wesley Snipes waves to onlookers as he leaves court after receiving his three-year sentence yesterday. (Reuters)

Crime Watch: Wesley Snipes gets three-year jail sentence in tax evasion case... Shia LaBeouf pays $500 on unlawful smoking charge... Amy Winehouse quizzed on alleged assault.

Rumor Mill: Jimmy Fallon reportedly closer to succeeding Conan O'Brien... Angelina Jolie injures ankle... Heidi Fleiss signs on to "Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab"... Ewan McGregor in talks to join cast of "Angels & Demons"... Hilary Duff to star in new "90210"?... Michael Jackson back in the studio... John Legend says Maria Menounos is just a friend... Chris Tucker denies deadbeat dad accusation... Harrison Ford waxes his chest for the environment.

By Liz Kelly  | April 25, 2008; 7:49 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: 'Lost' Dueling Analyses: The Shape of Things to Come

Comments

From the AP story about Cruise/Oprah...

"Friends and colleagues will surprise Cruise with taped messages honoring his work in movies, according to a statement Thursday from Harpo Productions."

It's not going to be much of a surprise if Harpo Productions has put out a statement to that effect.

Posted by: methinks | April 25, 2008 8:29 AM | Report abuse

Maria Menounos was mentioned twice in Celebritology in three days, but both times near the bottom and both times with no link of her own.

Either you've done something to tick off Liz Kelly, or it's time for a new agent, MM.


Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 8:32 AM | Report abuse

Harrison Ford is waxing his chest?

Suddenly the idea of him getting a Prince Albert doesn't seem so farfetched.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 8:43 AM | Report abuse

Aw man! Byoolin, I was JUST about to write something like that! Dangit!

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 8:44 AM | Report abuse

pssssssssst, td: Do one about nipple piercings.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 8:46 AM | Report abuse

It must be Friday. The only one of these news items that even remotely interests me is the idea of seeing Donny and Marie in Vegas.

They can dust off those 70s variety show scripts and purple shoes and recreate 30-year-old shows verbatim and no one would know the difference.

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

After reading about his chest waxing, I've decided that Harrison Ford is the engineer on the wacky train.

Posted by: methinks | April 25, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I really didn't need a mental image of Harrison Ford's saggy moobs sans hair.

Posted by: jelo | April 25, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

The Harrison Ford bit is meaningless without video of him getting his scruff yanked and screaming like Steve Carell in "40 Year Old Virgin".

Posted by: 23112 | April 25, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

jelo, here's an enhancement to that mental image: I think it's reasonable to assume that a man who would have his chest waxed is likely to be the kind of a man who would have other parts of his anatomy waxed, ifyouknowwhatImean.

You're welcome.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 9:06 AM | Report abuse

Yeah. If you really want to feel the pain of deforestation, Harrison, get a Boyzilian.

Posted by: possum | April 25, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

oh yuck byoolin it's way too early for that mental image. i can't even finish my breakfast now. ew ew ew!

i'm kinda interested to see what tom is going to do on oprah this time since the couch jumping went over so well. are there rafters he can swing from at the harpo studies? perhaps a chandalier?

Posted by: melissamac1 | April 25, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Waxing Lady: Oh!
[yells]
Waxing Lady: We gonna need more wax!
[pause]
Waxing Lady: And cancel all my afternoon appointments!

Posted by: 23112 | April 25, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Ok byoolin and possum, I'll one-up you guys by saying that Harrison's wax technician probably needed an industrial winch to pull the excess skin back in order to keep the skin from tearing when the wax was stripped off.

full disclosure (I've been home-waxing for many years and know how important that step is)

Posted by: jelo | April 25, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

A winch, eh?

I'd just assumed a strip of duct tape...

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Heidi Fleiss signs on to "Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab."

But Amy Winehouse?

No, no, no.

Posted by: byoolin picks the low-hanging fruit. | April 25, 2008 9:26 AM | Report abuse

Hey, Liz Kelly, after yesterday's Miley Cyrus fiasco, can we have an age limit on Celebritology? No one under 18. I love me some snark, but the proclamations of love from a bunch of 12 year olds (why are they on WaPo anyway) was just a bit saccharin.

Posted by: jake e. poo | April 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Oh, byoolin, you disappoint me. Rehab jokes using "no, no, no" - they're beneat you.

Posted by: h3 | April 25, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

No, I did not mean "beneath." I was trying to say "beneat." Which means...uh...I'll get back to you on that.

Posted by: h3 | April 25, 2008 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Before I leave the house I make sure my clothes are ironed so's I present a beneat appearance.

Posted by: jelo | April 25, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse

He can consider this jail time punishment for his domestic abuse of Halle Berry years ago. She has given a couple interviews, very quietly, about how he repeatedly abused her, and at one point hit her so hard in the head that she permanently lost all hearing in one ear. She never pressed charges. So frankly, I'm glad the judge threw the book at him, so to speak.

Posted by: Re; Wesley Snipes | April 25, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

Scrawny women's ankles are snappin'. I can hear it all the way from the left coast. Bwah-ha-ha.

Posted by: Big Mama | April 25, 2008 9:35 AM | Report abuse

I'm a little nervous about the special LOST chat this afternoon with Henry Ian Cusick. I may turn into those posters from yesterday's thread.

OMG DESMOND I LURV YOU!!!!!!1!!!!!!1 UR SO HOTTT!

Ok, I feel better now.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | April 25, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Liz -

No mention of Colin Firth's interview on the Daily Show last night?

For god's sake - he talked about how some person took a picture of his junk while he was standing at a urinal in a bathroom at a Broadway theater...

Check out the interview on http://www.thedailyshow.com/

Posted by: Chasmosaur | April 25, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Sorry - had a snafu before I could type that, obviously, the interview may be NSFW, just on general terms.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | April 25, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Oh snap! I forgot about the Colin Firth interview. So how many of you googled "Colin Firth Penis" after the show?

Posted by: jake e. poo | April 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Report abuse

hi wesley, omg, i cannot believe you r g2g to jail. ur movies r the best and i hope u rite me back, since u will have lots of downtime in prizn(fluffypuppy@butterfly.net)

Posted by: M Street | April 25, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

"...he talked about how some person took a picture of his junk while he was standing at a urinal."

Yet another example of the ways in which a celebrity's life is different from ours.

It must be nice to not always have to take your own photographs.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

A banner day, what with news from Harrison Ford, Tom Cruse, AND the Osmonds!

Posted by: Sappho | April 25, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

I just went to Harrison Ford's IMDB listing to try and find something witty to contribute to the waxing thing.

While I came up empty "Han"-ded (see? bad!), I did notice that years ago he was on episodes of "Petrocelli" and "Love, American Style!"

At which time Calista musta been what, 3?

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

I thought that was David Justice who abused her.

Posted by: re: halle | April 25, 2008 10:07 AM | Report abuse

5-10 td.

Posted by: omni | April 25, 2008 10:07 AM | Report abuse

What pictures of Oprah doing what does Cruise have of her that would cause her to not only bring that nut back on her show but to have friends send in tributes to his work in film? Really, why the suck up job?

Do not get me started on the Ice-T documentary. Except tell me where it is showing when it comes out so I can picket.


I'll believe Michael Jackson is back in the studio when I see the actual album.

Posted by: ep | April 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

To the tune of Monty Python's "Spam song"

Lost Lost Lost Lost
Lost Lost Lost Lost
Lovely Lost...Wonderful Looost!
Lovely Lost...Wonderful Looost!

Not waiting for the Lost post or anything...

Posted by: Chasmosaur | April 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Great, now I've got the image of Harrison Ford waxing(the was a piece on Access Hollywood) stuck in my head again.

I may just have to take time off work to watch the Tom and Oprah reunion bit.

Posted by: petal | April 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Found this on About.com:

"I've never disclosed who it was, but that guy hit me that one time and that was the last time. It [the relationship] was done the minute he did that. The one thing my mother always told me, `If a man hits you, you leave smoke. You get to gettin'.' So I got my stuff and got goin'."
Source: "Redbook": 3/03. Vol.200, Iss. 3; pg. 130

Posted by: sunnydaze | April 25, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Crimini, that supposed to be "there was a piece"

Posted by: petal | April 25, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

Ouch td, that was beneat you, too! heh heh

Posted by: rachelt | April 25, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Omni, thanks again for waxing, er, watching my back on the Calista age thing.

M Street, you are killing me! "butterfly.net" in particular is inspired.

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Please liz, I have finished most of my work for the day and need the dueling analyses to occupy my time...

Ben kill Penny... NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Osteph | April 25, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Obama "backer" Kim Kardashian...heh.

Posted by: trumance | April 25, 2008 10:37 AM | Report abuse

wow osteph.
I hope you didn't just spoil last night's lost episode. Guess I don't need to watch it now.

Posted by: thanks!!! | April 25, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

It'd beneat if I never had to think about Harrison Ford waxing again.

Posted by: h3 | April 25, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Remember what happened to the last talk show hostess that exhibited a major Tom Cruise fetish?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | April 25, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Liz - I love you and this column, but lately the morning mix just feels like a repeat of what's on the Post's Entertainment News page. Can you mix it up a little more?

Posted by: In Reston | April 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Cheesy weasels, thanks!!!, you gotta expect "Lost" talk 'round here.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | April 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

What's a "Ne-Yo"?

Harrison Ford waxing is infinitely less horrific than a new "90210" starring, well, anyone. But especially starring Hilary Duff.

I can hear the hoofbeats of those horsemen coming.....

Posted by: jaybbub | April 25, 2008 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Foiled again, Mr. Harrison!

Your expression of the "pain of deforestation" required using a byproduct of bees, who are dying out at frightening rates. What's next? Multiple botox injections to express the "pain of bee colony collapse?"

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | April 25, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Dear Thanks!!!

That "spolier" is probably not what you think... However, I apologize.

Posted by: Osteph | April 25, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance," Snipes said.

Really? You're schooled enough to insist on being paid real money for your movie roles, aren't you?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | April 25, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

"Ne-Yo!" is what Harrison Ford exclaimed as he was getting his chest waxed. If chain saws weren't so damned loud, you'd hear the trees screaming the same thing.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | April 25, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

MoCo be rollin'!

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 11:04 AM | Report abuse

10:50am - Yeah, I expect it but sometimes you can't watch the show live and don't want to know what happens. Especially when it's the 1st ep. after a break. it's nice to let people know if there might be spoilers in your post.
osteph - I hope your post was code for "jack dies." If only.

Posted by: thanks w/o sarcasm | April 25, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

i wonder if calista is the one giving him boyzilians.

Posted by: harrison | April 25, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Harrison Ford again proves that celebrities should stay out of the realm of symbolism, and metaphor in particular.

If Harrison Ford wanted to become an accurate metaphor for deforestation, he should have sacrificed his wood.

Posted by: Sasquatch | April 25, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Carmen Electra should have gotten engaged to Colin Firth. They deserve each other.

Posted by: Sasquatch | April 25, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Actually Maria Menounos career is in high gear. Not only is she doing Access Hollywood, but she is doing reports for the Today Show and the NBC Nightly News. Not bad for a daughter of Greek immigrants who worked as a janitor in high school.

Posted by: Woodbridge | April 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance," Snipes said.

Oooh, the guys in Cell Block K are gonna LOVE you, Wesley.

Posted by: Sasquatch | April 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

I find it interesting that Kim Kardashian has been criticized as a woman of dubious virture, while Colin Firth remains unsullied, despite his men's room play video.

Are those cat growls and hisses I hear in the blogosphere?

Posted by: Sasquatch | April 25, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

"Not only is [Maria Menounos] doing Access Hollywood, but she is doing reports for the Today Show and the NBC Nightly News."

She can get promoted all the way up the journalistic ladder to do the news for Wheeling Park High School on the local community cable channel for all I care, but until Liz Kelly gives her a link of her own, she's a NOBODY.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Colin Firth did the best Darcy ever on Pride & Prejudice. Kim K did is famous solely for a sex video. Let's think for a sec why one gets a passed (and passes) and one is a skank.

Posted by: ep | April 25, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

I thought that was David Justice who abused her.

Posted by: re: halle | April 25, 2008 10:07 AM

Apparently she attracts some "winners".

Posted by: WDC 21113 | April 25, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

How is the pain of chest waxing related to the pain of deforestation, pray tell, Harrison? The pain of waxing goes away shortly, the pain of deforestation lasts for longer than we can imagine.

Posted by: Californian | April 25, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

If Harrison Ford waxes his own chest in an empty room, does it make a sound?

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Note to Harrison Ford: No more drunken lunches with Ed Bradley and Jimmy Buffett!

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Hey Tom Cruise: desperation is the worst cologne.

Posted by: Californian | April 25, 2008 1:29 PM | Report abuse

The company I work for requires all employees to take a sexual harassment class. When I took the class, everyone told me that Wesley Snipes was in the cheesy video. I was quite disappointed that the company had a newer, cheesy video without Wesley Snipes in it.

Posted by: jlr | April 25, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Gary Coleman's getting a divorce, sez the AP.

He and Shannon Price, who got married in August, are going out in fine style, on the Divorce Court tv show.

Wifey says, "If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does. He like stomps the floor and yells, 'Meehhhh,' and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too."

In his own defence, the AP article says, "Coleman says he gets frustrated because 'the male is always the bad guy.' When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view... my point of view doesn't matter.'"

In other words:
- She says he's short-tempered.
- He says she gives his opinions short shrift.
- They're both feeling shortchanged.
- The episode will be on tv shortly.

Posted by: whatchootalkin' bout, byoolin? | April 25, 2008 2:19 PM | Report abuse

I think the more important question is, who would marry Gary Coleman for crying out loud?!?

Posted by: Californian | April 25, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Who says you can never wear a really fugly bridesmaid's dress again!

http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20195157_4,00.html

Posted by: Anonymous | April 25, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Two possible thought processes that led her to wear the dress:

1) "Well, I'm the *size* of a frickin' school bus..."

2) "...and if I can get Brad to wear a pink shirt, we're almost guaranteed to get our picture in Celebritology again!"

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

'Note to Harrison Ford: No more drunken lunches with Ed Bradley and Jimmy Buffett!

Posted by: td | April 25, 2008 1:21 PM

Um yeah, pretty sure Ed won't be there anyway.

Posted by: JES | April 25, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Apparently Gary Coleman was a virgin until his marriage.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 25, 2008 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Damn, Wesley, you know YOU don't have to be a whiz in finance in order to keep straight on your taxes, don't you? There are people you can hire to do that stuff for you.

Posted by: 23112 | April 25, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

If Harrison Ford had REALLY wanted to relate to the pain of deforestation, he should watch that "Star Wars Holiday Special" mentioned right here a few days ago as available on YouTube. I watched about five minutes of it but you know, I only wanted to relate to a little pain.

Posted by: Angela | April 25, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

veteran players and young players are all playboys.In the Tallhub.com --the first and largest site in the world to date handsome man, beautiful singles,their clients include sports stars, professional athletes, pilots, professional models and some Hollywood celebrities.

Posted by: sarana | April 26, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Byooolin has to be a retard with the crap he dishes up here . Whats a matter boy? Got no respect for yourself you have to download your insanity to rest of us! Get off and go have a cup of coffee with Liz the Tiz and lock yourself away somewhere PLEASE!

Posted by: Steveen | May 10, 2008 11:43 PM | Report abuse

There you go again Washington Post! Can't get any real knews so it's Bash the Celebrities again and entice the looney tunes to vent their spleens and mocj and laugh at the " Artists" of this world who entertain us and live their lives to entertain and make our lives just that more lievable! Leave the Celebs alone Washington Post!!!

Posted by: James | May 10, 2008 11:49 PM | Report abuse

Byooolin has to be a retard with the crap he dishes up here . Whats a matter boy? Got no respect for yourself you have to download your insanity to rest of us! Get off and go have a cup of coffee with Liz the Tiz and lock yourself away somewhere PLEASE!

Posted by: Steveen | May 10, 2008 11:55 PM | Report abuse

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