Reality Check: 'Rock of Love 2'

As we enter the final few days before Sunday's "Rock of Love 2" finale, I just can't go on sitting idly by, not comment, as I watch this season surpass the first. No mean feat considering the machinations of stripper/chief head-tripper Heather and the reliably ill-spirited Lacey.

(If you haven't watched up to Sunday's most recent show, please direct your attention to Post Rock for the latest in actual rock MUSIC.)

Beware: There are spoilers here.

After Destiney's dismissal on Sunday night, our '80s hair band bachelor, Bret Michaels, is down to a surf-inflected silicon-injected stripper (Daisy) and "TV hostess" Ambre, who somehow seems out of place not only in this show, but in her "my first skank groupie" outfits. Ultimately, one will win. But I'm here to say that we, the viewers, are the real winners. No matter who ends up rocking Bret's world ultimately, aren't we all just a teensy bit enriched for having seen:

-- Bret rocking a rug (see second 2:10). After almost two solid seasons of bandana-clad seclusion, Bret's crown was finally revealed Sunday night. Sadly, all bandana-less footage was shot when Bret had no body contact -- and hence no chance of slippage -- with anyone.

-- Bret cry (see second 1:18). Not once, but twice, Bret courageously showed the grit nation that it's okay to cry. As the man once sang, "every rose has its thorn" and boo-boos make cry cry (to put it in terms Bret's harem can understand).

-- A roomful of vets traumatized by scantily-clad skanks. Lesson learned: Short shorts only get you so far. It helps to learn the words of the national anthem.

-- Skank is a universal language. While some may have assumed that surgically enhanced Franken-skanks were a purely American phenomenon, French-born contestant Angelique Morgan proved that bad weaves and fake tans know no boundaries. "Vive le sqanque!"

Thank you VH1 and Bret Michaels for the memories.

The "Rock of Love" finale airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on VH1.

Polling courtesy twiigs.com.

Keep up with the latest Celebritology scoops with an easy-to-use widget.

» Get This Widget

If you have tips, ideas for stories or general suggestions, let us know.

» Share Tips and Submissions

No comments have been posted to this entry.

The comments to this entry are closed.